| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:10:44 PM | | Yes I met this guy on Line {4 years ago and I think it is possible to miss someone you have not met in person and I also beleive you can miss what ever your vision of a love and what he stands for and it makes you lonely and you can miss that person that you have thought about all your life. | |
|
| |
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:30:07 PM | | Is it that you actually miss the person or is it that you were really hoping to meet and find out if you click?? I know I do'nt like to meet anyone else untill I have met the current person I'm interested in. Hard to move on untill then. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:34:08 PM | ^^ You can miss both.
You can miss a person because you are not talking to them, and you miss the connection you had.
But, you can miss one while you are talking to them. You can talk to the person on the phone and feel that you miss their physical presence right then and there.
You can miss person because you are expecting to meet them... and find out if you click (the absence + anxiety).
In response to some of the earlier comments:
You can also miss the illusion, or a fantasy...if it turns out to be nothing more than the fantasy.
Gwen, I love what you said:
Sometimes, there is such a meeting of minds, hearts, and souls that two people become intricately connected.
I could not agree more with it.
And, I also agree with what several people brought up here. People can touch your heart from afar. My heart has been moved, and my mind has been intrigued by many fishies whose posts I have read.
Some of the responses here, brought tears to my eyes, so I want to thank everyone who took time to respond.
And now, in addition to missing one particular person... I kind of miss pretty much everyone who posted here... Silly, no? | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:46:50 PM | So strange to see this question posed, as I was thinking along same lines today. Am currently reading Ann Rule's new book, TOO LATE TO SAY GOODBYE. The victim in it had "fallen in love" with a person she had never met but had a quite intense communication via online. The woman ended up being killed with the final straw for her husband being the online "affair". The hell of it was is that the man that the woman is in love with turns out to be a female posing as a man.
I had a similar situation when, while first online I met someone. I went out with the guy (actually met him). I was mildly interested but because I wasn't quite out of my emotional attachment with my ex, was overwhelmed by this new man's interest. I decided, later, that I wanted to get to know the guy, but being burnt, he was no longer interested. I found myself thinking about him, imagining what he was like etc. I never thought I loved him but realized later that I had given him all of these attributes that I had/have no idea if he possessed. This "attachment" went on for a year. I wrote to him what I now consider to be, inappropriately familiar things, got made at his non response etc. I can only now say that, like the girl in the novel, I was very lonely, unhappy, and as so many of us are, somehow turned on by his rejection! I wanted what I couldn't have. 
I think it is very easy to imagine that someone you only know online is Mr., or Ms Right. Just as it is to overlook alot of stuff when you first actually meet someone or excuse it, online "romances" can go wherever your mind takes you. I have had men just read my profile and then feel like they KNOW ME. Then, because He knows ME so well, get mad when I don't respond immediately! Such is the life of an internet dater!! | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:53:52 PM | I got emotionally attached to a lady who was phoning me 3 or 4 times a day for a couple of weeks. I started to gaze longingly at her pic on the site, her lovely smile and eyes. When we met I was in love. Dumped her straight after the meet - I realised I'd gone way over the top. Made me feel too vulnerable too soon so it did. I still miss her now. She used to phone me while she was ironing naked. Priceless moments.
And all from a bombardment of phone calls. I think it was the attention that did it - never had that kind of attention before. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:53:57 PM | You can miss hearing from them, you can miss talking to them, but miss THEM? The semantics involved say no. You can miss the fantasy/illusion you have created about them, you can miss what you think there is between you whether it is real or imagined, you can yearn, long for, desire..... but you can't miss what you never had because you don't have a tangible sense of what you would be missing.
After you meet once, sure, but not before.
That part I can tell you about firsthand. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:01:53 PM |
Can you miss a person that you have never met?
Of course you can, and I have. I "met" a guy in a political chat room, and we started talking to each other quite a bit through IM. We got so close that I told him things I'd never told anyone else.. and he did the same. It actually got to the point where if I had insomnia and logged in he would sign in just a few minutes later saying that he just woke up thinking about me, we were that in tune. Strange as it seems, I would be in the middle of something and just "know" he was online. It freaked my friends out more than once.
I stopped chatting with him because he had a new girlfriend that he was head over heels for and she was extremely uncomfortable with the idea. She didn't believe that we were just friends. I bowed out gracefully but I still miss the closeness I had with him and regret the fact I never got to hug him in person. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:09:16 PM | The reality there is that you miss the conversation. You miss the interaction.... the stimulation. You really don't miss HIM. You could have had the same intellectual stimulation from anybody.
And the new girlfriend wouldn't have mattered if he had the same kind of feelings toward you. Don't let illusion/delusion become reality. That's dangerous ground. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:30:07 PM | Right on EastSide. I agree.
Desperate people do and behave in desperate ways....... It is the minds way protecting itself...........
weak minds that is... | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:34:35 PM |
The reality there is that you miss the conversation. You miss the interaction.... the stimulation. You really don't miss HIM. You could have had the same intellectual stimulation from anybody.
Actually, I honestly do miss him. We chatted for years, spoke on the phone, sent little gifts to each other. I miss him just like I miss my brother when he gets caught up in studying and I don't hear from him for a couple of weeks. Just like I miss a woman I talked to from the same chat room who was later diagnosed with cancer and died( I still have pics she sent me of her daughter in the sweater I knitted for her).
And the new girlfriend wouldn't have mattered if he had the same kind of feelings toward you. Don't let illusion/delusion become reality. That's dangerous ground.
I was the one who stopped chatting with him. I had spoken with him through his original girlfriend and breakup and knew how happy he was to have someone like her in his life. He was ready to break it off with her to remain friends. I couldn't let him do that. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:36:37 PM | | Yes, you can definitely miss someone you've never met in person. You can form a friendship and bond with a person without having met them. I became quite attached to a man in Ireland. We would chat daily and talk with microphones and webcams. This went on for quite a while and I considered him to be a friend. Then suddenly he was gone. He removed his profile and cut off all contact with no explanation. I was very hurt and missed talking with him. I still do. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:48:18 PM | Oh, hell yes. You can meet someone so sympatico that it blows your mind every time you think about him. I've not done this on a dating site, but did on another type of forum. He was a real guy and I know this because we had mutual friends and we flirted and bantered so long and so intensely that everyone knew that we were an item. It went on for over a year, but we never met because we were both married at the time and both unhappy.
Yet, we didn't talk about that so much as just enjoyed each other's email and posts. Definitely a mind-meld like I've never experienced before or since. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:53:17 PM |
I miss him just like I miss my brother when he gets caught up in studying and I don't hear from him for a couple of weeks.
Apples and oranges.
You have MET your brother....
But you know what, all that really matters is what YOU think and believe. I am not trying to tell you that you are wrong for thinking what you think. If it helps you to think the way you do, bless you.
 | |
|
| |
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:07:28 PM | | lol i just had this conversation...i have been talking to someone and having all kinds of feelings and hadnt even met yet can this happen? i even i am scared of the emottold him i missing him and the emotions how does this happen when you hadnt met someone | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:12:03 PM | I've always felt the same as what OutMind just said. We tend to miss 'the idea' of the person we've never met. And that's specifically why I make it a point to not get excited about ANY new contact I meet on here until the physical meeting. I keep my conversations 'congenial' for the most part. I like to get to know them. But I certainly don't go down the roads of 'romantic talk', intimate things, or delving too deep into believing there is some sort of 'connection to an as yet met soulmate' until we've actually met. Things can suddenly change the second you meet the person in the flesh. So it's just best not to paint any mental pictures in your mind at all when getting to know them pre meeting.
It's gotten a bit tedious lately with this whole thing. I simply don't want to develop more electronic relationships with people, only for there to be no 'spark' or whatever you call what's supposed to happen when finally meeting. And even if you can say you met a new 'friend', the reality is, people just end up moving on anyway because they too are looking for 'the one'. It's not like we're just going to start hanging out together a lot because they need to invest that time in finding somebody. My closest circle of friends are pretty much the ones that know me anyway. It would be nice to think you can build this plethora of new friends....but it's not reality.
This is the first time though in a few years where I've actually started 'missing' something that resembles a relationship. I've been walking around the city where I'm working, watching people, seeing Christmas sights, listening to Christmas songs, seeing the snow fall.....and I just started remembering times from the past when I was with somebody for the holidays. I'll start stuffing the emotion about it back down very shortly and remind myself to not get in a funk about it all, and to continue to count my blessings any moment now.......... | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:12:56 PM | i think we can miss the connection, sometimes, as much as or more than, the actual person. we look forward to that interaction and think throughout the day 'i have to tell so-and-so about this.'
like anything else, we feel the lack of something we had at one point and no longer do. but when we lose touch with someone, we need to remember that everyone enters our lives to teach us something. or we need to teach them something. then we move on. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:15:03 PM | | lol i just had this conversation...i have been talking to someone and having all kinds of feelings and hadnt even met yet can this happen? i even i am scared of the emotions i even told him about the emotions i was having. he said he misses me how does this happen when you hadnt met someone | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:15:08 PM | | I've been particpating in online communities for years and have acquired a great number of friends, both male and female, and if I don't hear from the, yes, I miss them. Some I've met once or twice, but I feel closer to many of my female diver friends than I feel to any of my local friends, with the exception of my childhood friends. And some of them drift away and then we reconnect and when that happens, it is like we never missed a beat. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:21:40 PM | Think about how many posts have been done in the various forums describing how people who were great long distance chat pals until the met in person. Then the emails slow down, the chat stops, the text messages stop......
The new wears off.
Not always, obviously, but more often than not.
Real life meetings tear away the illusion, the expectation, etc..... and what's left is usually not up to the anticipation. | |
|
| |
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:41:40 PM | Gwendolyn2006:
quote]Sometimes, there is such a meeting of minds, hearts, and souls that two people become intricately connected. Perhaps that person is the elusive soulmate. For some reason, though, life and distance intervene and you cannot meet.
Yes, it can happen, that you get this intense feelings with someone, and for whatever reasons you cannot meet them yet, anxiety strikes in. Sometimes the feelings can be quite strong, that you start questioning how can this be, that you are so strongly drawn to him or her. I believe that the actual feelings we experience are our own makings, it is our desire of being strongly connected to another soul, it is yearning, hope and emotionally need that is transferred and projected onto the other. The feelings we experience are triggered by that other person but we are the authors of those feelings, and it isn't the other way around.
Have you ever waited, and experienced that once you meet in real life, you fairly quickly realize it is your own projections. In my opinion, allow those feeelings, but take the time to sort them out, if there is a strong connection, it will be ... but in this virtual world, those real, strong connections are very rare ... something they last a couple of weeks or a couple of months, isn't a real strong connections between the souls.... it wears off quickly ... this is why I think it is simply our own yearning, longing, hopes and wishes, and often our hormones... Mona Lisa  | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:47:41 PM |
Sometimes the feelings can be quite strong, that you start questioning how can this be, that you are so strongly drawn to him or her. I believe that the actual feelings we experience are our own makings, it is our desire of being strongly connected to another soul, it is yearning, hope and emotionally need that is transferred and projected onto the other. The feelings we experience are triggered by that other person but we are the authors of those feelings, and it isn't the other way around.
Why is it that ONE person whose turn of phrase thrills you and not the 100 others that you know online? What if there is no yearning nor hope and you get smacked upside the head by this particular person and no others? It is more than just projection. | |
|
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:49:13 PM | I have missed someone I have never met, someone I have met and even missed someone who is in the same room as me.
To be sure these are all different forms of missing another, but the angst is there never the less.
OP... I agree that this angst is greater for not having met, because it is a loose end and unresolved.
This is a quote from the web with some additions / alterations.
miss
v. missed, miss·ing, miss·es
To fail to hit it off, reach, catch, meet, or otherwise make contact with a soulmate.
To fail to perceive, understand, or experience: completely missed the point of the post.
To fail to accomplish, achieve, or attain (a relationship).
To fail to attend or perform: missed a date or a romantic evening. (perform... lol)
To leave out; omit.
To let go by; let slip: miss a chance.
To escape or avoid: narrowly missed crashing into someone else's reality.
To discover the absence or loss of: I missed my Internet connection after forgetting to pay the bill.
To feel the lack or loss of: Do you miss your family?
Non-performing
Longtermer,
Ur Xoxo | |
|
Home
login 
