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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:46:41 AM | | I am having an experience similiar to yours, I have had a few dates but alot more individuals seem to want to just play around on the computer. I have quit taking anyone I meet on these sites very seriously.I guess if you think about it the very nature of the computer allows for this. It is easy to get rejected without the sting of dealing with the experience in person. Older men , seem to like this.Maybe the fantasy is part of it also. As someone that likes to deal with humans face to face I am a bit discouraged. | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 11:47:49 AM | | I've had a couple of dates from here. But, I'm still here, so that should tell you something. I'm not giving up yet. | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 11:57:28 AM | WOW - that doesn't give me much hope ...I just started here
My girlfriend used to use this site - I found the same old guys on here (not serious and just scammers looking for a buck from desperate souls )
I think with the internet alot of people have to be extra careful - but paranoid is another thing
A lot of guys appear to be married also - not ready for the real step of stepping out | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 1:16:36 PM | 90% of my experience on POF has been...weird. As the poster in message number 52 stated, most just want to sit in the dark and play around on an instant messenger.
I get a LOT of e-mail here - probably 12-20 per day, and when it comes down to brass tacks, even most of the locals won't emerge from their basement lair to meet the three dimensional people. So, after I read their messages, I go out and meet the non-internet people - the ones who aren't agoraphobic.
I remain optimisitic.
/I | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:14:43 PM | yup. i sure do.
It's just a matter of what you are looking for, how specific your profile is, and taking the time to READ the profiles of the guys you think you are interested in.
here's some hints:
1. Find people within 50 miles of your residence, at least to start with. You will be
more likely to have an actual "date" with someone within an hour's drive.
2. Be REALISTIC!!!! If you are looking for a model, or a super-hunk, I suggest you
try another dating site. The people here are mostly just like you and me. Normal.
3. If you email someone, ASK for a response. I normally say something that struck
me about their profile, tell them to read mine, and write back. 8 out of every 10
emails gets answered.
4. Ask them about themselves. If you get little or no response, but they want to
know EVERYTHING about you, move on. It will be one-sided FOREVER.
5. after 3 or 4 emails, if you and he are interested in each other on the 'net, either
exchange phone #'s or arrange a meet.
6. If they don't sound interested in a meet, wipe the slate, and MOVE ON.
7. Repeat.
Keep on keepin on, and eventually, you will hook a fish or two. They may be keepers, or you just might have to throw em back. Who knows?!
THAT'S THE FUN PART!!!!
 HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL! | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:25:30 PM | Yes people do actually meet.
Just check out the Sucesss Stories
How do you know they are true ??
To date , doesn't one have to reply to messages first ??
I always thought two people talked before they dated ,, well at least said hello !!!
Methinks people just come here to air their grievances ,,, as soon as I message someone , they run for the hills ,, perhaps I need to pretty up my pic !!  | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:29:58 PM | MSG 52
I'm an older guy , and would love to date women ,, however , as I'm not George Clooney , or his look alike , I keep getting rejected ,, oh , and I'm not rich !!!!
So, I guess it's back to dreaming for me ,,,
I don't know why women come here , or any other site ,, they seem to have very high expectations ,,,, ahhh it's a soiltary world we live in ,,
  cheers | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:33:44 PM | Msg 57 .
Thanks for the enlightenment ,, I see I have to rethink my approach,, treat this in a more business like manner ,,,, perhaps I'll come across a few I can throw back too ,,, let the fun begin !!!! | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:49:30 AM | Yes, Trisha, people do actually meet and date here. I have met one with whom I remain friends, and another I hope to become better friends with. Unfortunately, sometimes when I think messaging in here is going along great, suddenly things end...messages unread deleted by people I thought I was getting to know. I find this very rude. I would prefer that they just take the time to say that things aren't going to work out, they met someone else, etc. One would think that people in our age group would have better manners. Oh well... | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:20:47 AM | | This is an informative forum, for a newcomer. I've often wondered where all the eligible men are? Now you tell me they're on the make, in the dark, while not leaving the comfort of their basements. Who knew? | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/17/2007 1:15:29 PM | I want to reply to this comment by flameworks. I believe what she says. Especially about "being rejected without the sting of dealing with the experience in person". I can say from my experiences with on line dating the personal meetings that I had thought went well did not. Three times the ladies told me they had a real nice time and we would get together soon. My calls and e mails went unanswered. When finally reached, two of the ladies said they did not have a good time and did not feel any connection...they said nice things as "not to hurt my feelings". I would rather have the honesty. So it might be easier to hide behind the screen when you have been hurt.
I still believe my soul mate is out there but past rejections have left me a little bit shaken. If if unintentionally we do hold the "good people" accountable when others of their gender have not treated us well. | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:08:24 PM | I dated a lot when I was on a paid site. I usually met someone at least once a month that I would at least be friends with and I even had a relationship where I dated someone for several months and we considered really getting together.
On here? It seems to be different. I like to email a few times, then talk on the phone a few times and then meet. Usually within a few emails and a few phone conversations, I can tell who is sincere and who is just on the make or married. In fact, I had one of those recently. As far as I'm concerned, there are a lot of married men and players out there and they drop out within a week or two of emails or phone conversations. The ones who hang in there are usually sincere nice guys and I meet them.
I've met guys on here though. I've met two and they were both nice guys. I was going to meet another one but he agreed that he really wasn't ready to date yet so we didn't meet but he was nice, too. So that's three nice guys............I still have hopes that the right one for me is out there........... | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:31:43 PM | Now I've been on these free sites for a month. It definitely has been a learning experience and not what I anticipated. Tho' the ladies are either coy and playful...or...too insecure, I've met only one in person and we're friends... it may pick up later but for now we met and that's all we did. I was developing very thick skin to take the rudeness of some. I've talked on the phone with 3. Two of them just seemed a bit cold and distant and I wondered why they ever gave me their phone numbers. Another gave me her phone number but wouldn't even answer the phone...that was really weird and spooky...I don't know if she got cold feet or is playing games or has issues and got afraid to answer the phone. I've played with my profile, tweaked it, experimented with it, and at one point put in it that I wasn't going to contact women but if they wanted to email me they had my number (so to speak). This morning I was very pleasantly surprised to receive an email from a very nice and somewhat professional lady on another site who has an unusual amount in common, lives virtually the same manner and similar place that I do, and is only 1 1/2 hour drive away...and we're having lunch tomorrow. Quite a coincidence and much like my fishing....they seem to bite just as I'm ready to give up and pull my old rusty hook out of the water! | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:17:49 AM | For a "dating sight" there sure are a lot of people that don't date. I wonder how many really want to date. How many really make an effort? How many accept invitations? Extend them? How many are simply sitting back waiting for something to happen?
I'd like a show of hands.
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:56:03 AM | ^^Count me in for a yes then darlin!
I do in fact date from pof. Not a huge amount by any means. I am much like FriendlyLady in that I like to get a feel for possibilities before actually meeting. A few emails, then move to phone, then meet up. I have met some really nice fellows, just not the one for me. I have met a couple where we dated for a period of time, but, as you all know, sometimes things don't go as intended. And if on those meets, I find there is not really a connection, I can and do, at that time, let the fellow know that. Why lead someone on when there is no intent to take anything further? That is infantile and for those who take that attitude, or just fall off the face of the earth? You should be ashamed of yourselves! | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 9:15:05 AM | Well , I don't know what the women on here are about ,, I'd like to date ,, go out , enjoy life ,,,,, so stop whining about the men ,, you wouldn't know a good one if you fell over him ,, yet if an arsehole comes along you swoon at his feet ,,, then come here moaning because he dumped you and went on tto the next conquest . ,,,
As for dating ,, haaa you have to find one first who wants to ,,,
I think this is just for those hiding behind computers from the realities of life ,,, and stop blaming the men you women are just as bad . | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 9:20:11 AM | Gee Barbaby?
Hope you were not referring to me with that last post! That would mean you didn't read what I posted and you would break my heart!
Nowhere in my post have I biotched about men. I love em! | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 11:01:07 AM | Remember that old thing about when you point a finger, there are more fingers pointing back at you or something like that? WHO is complaining about the opposite sex in almost every post? 
I agree, Moon..........I love men.........I enjoy doing things with them. I enjoy snuggling up to them and holding hands and having fun with them......... Men and women ARE different and it's only when you appreciate the balance of those differences that you are truly able to love another ......... | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:32:46 PM |
.....I love men.........I enjoy doing things with them
Except sex!
Well, enough sex to keep a man from starving entirely to death!
Several years ago I had a womanizing salesguy tell me to ignore what women say because they themselves don't know what they really want. And this week, I get it.
I get it.
The women here honestly believe they like sex.
But... they don't.
Note to self - ignore woman's comments that she likes sex unless you get proof.
Wow.
It just all makes so much more sense to me now.
Why the whole thing is so much work and annoyance and the games and misdirection.
It's just a sucky outcome of natural programming and there's nothing anyone can do about it. | |
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| Does Anyone actually Date Here?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:36:40 PM | Maybe what PoF should do is add a category:
Sex Type
(Your choices being):
Prefer not to lay
Less than Average
Average
Athletic
A few extra days
FMED [do me every day]
Given's how well the "body type" part works, this should clear up any confusion! | |
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