| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:21:43 AM |
If people would spend more time looking on the inside rather than on the outside, maybe there wouldnt be so many nice, single people out here on these forums everyday wondering why we're still without a partner to hold at night.
BRAVO! Well said!
In case any of my comments re: thinner ladies might have been misconstrued. I find them quite lovely as well, my comments were aimed at others insisting that only thinner ladies were acceptable and I meant to cause no angst to the more petite ladies.
I love 'em all and see their beauty regardless of their size. By the same token I think puppies, kittens, and young critters of almost any type are all cute despite the fact that they're nothing alike, it is their unconditional acceptance of others and their capacity to love which makes them so appealing. Once we get past judging the wrapper we can get to enjoying the true treasure within. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:28:50 AM | | curvy or slim really doesnt matter, its personality that counts most, yes curvy hips and big breast are nice eye candy but they dont make you a better person or any better in bed | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:04:32 AM | i reckon its like a bar of galaxy chocolate.
which would you rather suck...
the wrapper, or the chocolate inside?
obv, the inside.
(unless youre crackers) | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:13:04 AM | If people would spend more time looking on the inside rather than on the outside, maybe there wouldnt be so many nice, single people out here on these forums everyday wondering why we're still without a partner to hold at night.
I agree with this to a certain extent. However there should be at least some physical attraction in relationship. I'm sure that most people ( including myself ) have rejected someone due to looks. I don't expect a man to have "GQ looks", but he should be at least somewhat attractive to me. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:36:43 AM | ^^^definitely, but I think that we like what we like!
I just don't like people referring to types they don't like in a derogatory way. There's no need for that really.
lol@laurabeth - crackers on the inside - I like that :) | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/21/2008 12:38:24 PM | maybe people who refer to their types in a derogatory way are those who are most insecure themselves. we should rise above it knowing that we dont have to judge others in order to make ourselves feel better.
alas, it all comes from jealousy. & obv, jealousy is a part of being human. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:01:46 AM | OK, this may make me sound completely lame and/or desperate, but in reference to a previous post...I have NEVER passed someone by because of how they looked. Ive dated all shapes and sizes, even a couple of people who were disabled. I guess the physical is just very secondary to me. As long as that person does the best with what nature gave them, and bathes regularly, thats about all I ask for.
I see the inside first and that just accents the outside. Im not saying that people who DO notice looks are shallow. Im just saying that, yes, there are some of us who truly dont look at a person's outward appearance and judge them solely on that.
Now, if you open your mouth and every other word is a cuss, or you have nothing intelligent to say, or just have an attitude in general...THAT will make me uninterested right quick.
On topic---give me a girl with curves any day. The more dangerous the better!  | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:24:52 AM | over my dating time i have experienced both the slim was a gym obbesessed clothes horse while stuningly attractive i couldnt be arsed putting up with all the 101 anxieties that went with her
curvy ie fat i had a relationship with a what u might call a salad dodger while it was an expensive night out at the cinema pick and mix is extortionate these days and the local curry house worshipped her
i have to say what an absoloute cracking woman she turned out to be she started obsessing about weight so i got half of all her curries and kebabs i did nt have to scratch around the floor of the cinema for a half sucked murray mint
curvy every time
freddiethefinger | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:26:35 AM | Elvis Presley Had a song about this. (telling my age here)
The song is..."Girl Happy" The words were: "Big and brassy, small and sassy...In short dresses, in tight sweaters, go walkin' and wigglin' by, oh lordy give me one of each kind"
Yep, can't say I have a particular look or shape that does it for me. But there is a thing about to skinny or to fat that would not get my attention. But if pressed for a preference on shape alone, I'd have to say that a woman that has feminine curves and is height and weight proportionate PLUS up to... say 30 pounds gets my vote.
I have fallen for just about every size and shape there is. Some beautiful, some rather plain looking. One was way to skinny (my first wife)... 99 pounds dripping wet! lol
One that broke my heart was curvy... I fell deeply in love with her. And because of that, she was without a doubt, the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Her size, shape or even looks no longer made a difference.
But I do agree. There has to be some physical attraction in any size or shape. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:31:39 AM | I agree with hopeful_73. Not everyone is shallow. He isn't. I'm not. I met many men who weren't, and I know some women who aren't.
People get so angry about being labeled "shallow". Shallow means without depth or overly concerned with the obvious (ie, looks). Being shallow doesn't make one a bad person--it makes them average. This is a shallow world.
I have met men off these sites who weren't that attractive, but they were kind and intelligent. When I first met my fiance, I didn't feel one way or another about his looks. As we dated, one day I looked at him and found him the most beautiful person I'd ever seen, and it had nothing to do with his actual appearance--it was my love for him that made me see him that way.
That is what people mean by being able to see past appearances. Let your heart do the seeing. Not everyone can do that. I'm lucky enough to be able to, but I know I'm in the minority.
It bothers me when people say that everyone is shallow. It isn't the case, although most people are. I always thought that when people referred to their spouses as "the most beautiful/handsome person in the world", that it was understood that the spouse obviously wasn't--but appeared that way to the person who loved him or her. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:09:05 PM | People get so angry about being labeled "shallow". Shallow means without depth or overly concerned with the obvious (ie, looks). Being shallow doesn't make one a bad person--it makes them average. This is a shallow world.
IMO a shallow person ONLY cares about looks, money, materalistic items etc. People who care about looks / physical appearance among other things such as intelligence, personality, compatibility etc. aren't shallow. For most people, there needs to be at least some physical attraction in order for a relationship to be successful. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:29:36 PM | As you say, though, MOST people need the physical attraction from the get-go. What she was saying is theres a small minority of us that dont. And if would be nice if there were more like that.
I know being on a site like this Im basically asking to be judged. I just wish people would take some time to go below the surface of who I am before they did. Because I know theres better-looking & better-written profiles than my own, and sometimes the pressure to compete is staggering. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:34:09 PM | As you say, though, MOST people need the physical attraction from the get-go. What she was saying is theres a small minority of us that dont. And if would be nice if there were more like that.
What's wrong with that? Looks aren't everything. I have dated some average looking men because of their personality. But I couldn't date with a man that I think is ugly. Just like I couldn't date an man that is a jerk. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:42:32 PM | | The word "shallow" is one of the most overused words here. Some men have rejected me because I have thin / athletic / fit body type and they like curvy or chubby women. I wouldn't necessary consider them shallow for that. I would only get offended if a man rejected me due to some false generalization such as "all thin women are arrogant snobs". As mentioned by other posters, looks aren't everything, but I wouldn't expect a man to date a woman ( or vice versa ) that he thinks is ugly. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:33:01 PM | ml456:
I didnt word my post clear enough because you misunderstood me. I was agreeing with the person who said we shouldnt date on looks alone. It was the post ahead of me suggesting people need the physical attraction I was disagreeing with.
Physical looks are subjective. Sometimes a really good-looking person can become ugly once they open their mouth. And vice-versa.
Sorry for the confusing post. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:19:40 PM | I didnt word my post clear enough because you misunderstood me. I was agreeing with the person who said we shouldnt date on looks alone. It was the post ahead of me suggesting people need the physical attraction I was disagreeing with.
I never stated that a relationship should based on just looks. I basically stated that looks is one component. If I meet a nice woman that I'm not attracted to. Then I would have a platonic relationship with her. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:49:14 PM | LOVE THIS QUOTE..... But this is coming from some one who is curvy, or volumptous, or Phat in some guys eyes (and girls).... Thats why my cell has downloads.. like 'Fat bottom girl' , Baby Got Back,  It takes all kinds to make the world go round....and I make the rocking world go round... Oh, is a size 14, BAD Thing... cause I must of missed that some where.... | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:40:42 PM |
Oh, is a size 14, BAD Thing... cause I must of missed that some where.... This is the kind of defensiveness where there is no attack that makes one believe you should be on the offensive. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:08:46 AM | General response - OF COURSE appearance plays a role in attraction, if it played no role whatsoever we would be equally attracted to everyone until we got to know them all and then make our selection of a mate on compatability alone. Even if you have a "type" that you're generally attracted to you still wouldn't order one from a catalog sight unseen because "they're all the same".
WE ALL have preferences just as we all have values and we seek someone who is the right fit for ourselves. Those folks who are most strident in their application of their standards of acceptability do nothing more than limit themselves and perhaps cost themselves a chance at true bliss. If you do not conform to their standard you would not want to be with them anyway as they would not value your presence as it should be.
IMO - People who profess their personal preferences needn't be lambasted for being honest about it, People who try to justify their preferences as being Right/Good and others as being Wrong/Bad are being hurtful to others by doing so and deserve to be taken down a peg.
If this discourse has shown nothing else it has demonstrated that for every "type" of person there are throngs of people who find that "type" attractive and others who don't - it's all about finding the right match. Not every shoe in the store will fit your feet (or sense of style) but that doesn't make them devoid of value - it just means that they're there for someone else. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/24/2008 11:55:29 AM | I have to say most of my associates/ friends and acquaintances all seem to have specific types. Some like slim, some like thick, some like big girls. I personally don't have a preference. As long as a woman carries what she has well, everything is proportionate and she is confident in that then I can and will be attracted.
Too big is not appealing just as much as too skinny. but there are the odd stand alone's where a really slim woman may be packing and has a certain something about her look that draws you to her the same applies to thicker and big girls too.
This is my personal preference ...like I said most men have a specific type and dont deviate (the fools) lol. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:00:13 PM | | it has to be curvy, each to their own, but my taste is that curves look far more feminine | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/24/2008 1:04:02 PM | No, curvy is much more sexy. It has only been in the last 60 years that slim was considered a sexy thing. Look at some of the greatest art work in the past 1000 years, the women are full figured, curvy, and beautiful. That is what God intended the woman to be. Psychologically, I read once, that curvy women are very appealing to men because it relates to their fertility and ability to provide children.
WOMEN, KEEP YOUR CURVES!!! | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:26:45 AM | He's actually right. I think it was a man called Buss, (dont quote me on that) who found that women prefer older men, due to security, and men prefer younger girls with a decent hip to waist ratio as it relates to child bearing potential, and obviously the younger you are, the more fertile you are.
But it is still debatable whether psychology is actually a science as many times it cannot provide cause and effect, therefore it is not factual but correlational. Enough of the arm chair psychology guys!
We're humans, and yes theres alot of science going on with us but seriously, when are people going to stop looking for reasons. everyone has different tastes. If all men only liked curvy women, skinny women would have no one and vice versa. There's someone out there for everyone. we like what we like and we hate what we dont. its just the way we are. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:34:37 AM | But it is still debatable whether psychology is actually a science
science isnt a science. | |
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| Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:21:17 AM | I'll take Slim AND Curvy, thank you very much.
I'm just greedy like that. 
Of course, she'd have to like Tall, Silly & Slighly Geeky....so it may take a while.
At least we have all these fun guys to keep us company-------> | |
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