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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:53:45 AM | | I think so. Maybe thats the whole problem with dating sites...they attract people that are too picky because of all the info available at one glance..i dont know...maybe...just a thought...I must admit to be truthfull, i find myself doing this sometimes. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:29:56 PM | I too have looked at hundreds of women’s profiles and also find very, very few that list unreasonable expectations or demands in a partner.
It is human nature to want to justify rejection somehow and declaring that he/she “isn’t into me because… (insert unreasonable expectation here)” is a much better excuse than recognizing or admitting any personal fault or shortcoming. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:05:12 PM |
Seems that comments about standards being too high often come from those who cannot even meet the average standards. So would you please elaborate on what is ridiculous vs non-ridiculous standards.
Well, that's entirely self evident. Any standards that I can't meet are obviously ridiculous. 
What puzzles me why do people think it has to be either-or? Why cannot it be some of both? I am sure there are some kind hearted, honest, smart, humorous people that are also nice-looking.
Assumption seems to be that better-looking people are all players or spoiled and "bad", and the average looking ones are all nice gals/guys. I really do not see how one excludes another.
Because this type of guy has a TON of options. He would be stupid to settle down into a monogamous relationship. For him, no matter how good the woman he is seeing is, he can treat her however he feels like because there are 10 more waiting for their turn. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:29:17 PM |
Because this type of guy has a TON of options. He would be stupid to settle down into a monogamous relationship. For him, no matter how good the woman he is seeing is, he can treat her however he feels like because there are 10 more waiting for their turn.
having a ton of options is NP. having a ton of viable options may be another story. Is it all about number? I have heard the theory you are voicing before. Maybe that is the answer why is it so hard for people to connect. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:12:47 PM | *UltimateHeartSurgeon*
You are right on many of your points.
Many people who demand the "perfect guy" end up alone.
Don't you notice how many women tell you to "improve" yourself when you are not lucky at dating, or when you are fat, have a bad haircut and so on?. They usually say any of the things that you described here:
Go to the gym, get a better job, excel at your career, get some new clothes, try a new haircut, be a positive person
I can also add to that: "dress differently, wear cologne, comb your hair this way etc...."
I've lost count of all the girls (good, bad, church, college and slutty) that tell me any of the things you described there in your post to improve my "dating" chances. It is their nature to look for what is perfect and, of course, what looks good. This is, of course, much more true of White/Caucasian women than any other ethnicity there is. | |
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CZ1978
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Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 59 | |
| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:23:08 PM | To OP:
Honestly I believe your post is of a strong semblance to being a "self-pity" thread.
I'm in agreement with "Explosive Joe's" post. There is nothing wrong with a woman seeking those same qualities within a man. It displays that she is an ambitious well-rounded woman. I personally am not turned off by that. I am more attracted to a woman like that. Besides chap, I don't believe that those are very unrealistic expectations of a man. In fact I'm sure that there a good portion of men who will fit into those categories.
I certainly would not want to settle for someone for the sake of being with someone. So there are some traits that I look for when wanting to be with a woman. And I don't think that is unrealistic. Why not have "it all"? Does one really deserve less if you're a person who has "it all"? | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:03:01 PM | | I think you're right. I can see if you wanted someone that "has it all" when you we're obviously not a good match. But I don't see a problem in looking for someone who "has it all" if you also have whatever that "all" means to you. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/12/2007 7:28:36 PM | Just my observations after having 3 sisters and raising 3 daughters...
I think that younger women tend to have an image of a guy in their minds that is a lot more selective than what guys look for (and no I don't mean all a guy wants is a willing partner!) I think they have an idea of a guy with a certain complexion, height, eye and hair color, body and other intangibles. All I have to do is look at the types of guys that my sisters or daughters have dated and pretty much each one had a certain type of guy they were interested in. Now I think when people get older, they focus less on that "ideal image" of their mate and more on the overall compatibility. Just my opinion... | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 4:13:14 AM | Geez, my expectations must be really low......the older you get, the more stuff falls off your wish list....
The PERFECT MAN....
Calls when he says he will.
Knows the difference between 'I'll call you tomorrow, and I'll call you soon'.
Shows up.
Doesn't cancel at the last minute.
Doesn't whine about his financial situation and/or kids.
Doesn't pay lip service about "really wanting a relationship", but has no time for one.
Forget the blue eyes, etc. The above will make ya or break ya! LOL! | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:29:03 AM |  Kind of like men that think the perfect woman is one that acts like Betty Crocker out of bed and Pamela Anderson in it.  
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Side Note Image: The Perfect Rejection...lol
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:27:13 AM | Well hunny, unfortunately it happens on the flip side too. There is no "perfect" person. However, there IS a "perfect match", so don't be discouraged and patience is key. It will happen when you least expect it! Timing is everything.
Good Luck in your search.
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:36:26 AM | Now that I'm out of the game (and so glad to be done with the BS), I look back on the profiles I've read and have to laugh. So many women without a clue, they really have no idea how to attract a decent guy. Its either passive/aggressive in their profiles, fun and party, overtly sexy pics (or at least trying to be sexy, so sad really) or straight out bitter and resentful. Some have it right though thankfully and I wish them luck.
Its the culture of online dating, too many choices breeds an inability to focus on one person for fear of possibly missing out on that great guy/girl who might just email them! They're always looking for reasons not to focus on one person. "He/She's nice and we had a good time but...."
Its all BS. Notice how many people never seem to leave the dating sites? You see them week after week, month after month, year after year. And many of these women are beautiful, so what's the problem? Easy, too picky. They want what some call the "perfect guy" yet they themselves are far less than perfect.
I know of a few that have been cruising the sites for years. I see them out at a certain club every weekend, the only people around them being the same small circle of regulars. They are never approached, never asked to dance, nothing. How is it that a beautiful woman can go every Friday and Saturday night dateless for the last couple of years despite being active on a dating site? I'm thinking no one wants to put up their crap. Let them rot in online hell.
Hahahaha!!! | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:20:21 AM | Myself, I'm not looking for the perfect man...I'm looking for the perfect fit 4 me..Am I being picky?? Yep...I don't wanna settle for someone who doesn't have the qualitites I'm desiring in a partner. I think that makes me come off as a "****" and thats a shame, because I know who and what I want & I just haven't found him yet.
They don't have to look like a movie star, but they do have to make me have that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see them,(not gas!! lol) and I want my heart to race with anticipation knowing we are meeting that night.
I know looks fade and personality is forever, but I have to have that inital attraction 2 someone or it will never work 4 me..
My "perfect" man will have me laughing still my stomach aches. He will be kind, and sensitive, yet strong, but not over powering. Most of all he will look at me like no one else is in the room, and I will do the same with him...Ok, its sappy I know, sounds like some cheesy Lifetime movie...but its what I want.. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:25:38 PM | I guess that sometimes we look so much for ms. perfect (ladies for mr. perfect) that we forget our own imperfections. We are spoiled brats looking for the best, but we really do not have anything to offer. It is just an ego thing, a childish and selfish desire that we feed out of our own inflated selves.
I find this is true with those who have the ridiculously high standards. I dont mind having some standards, we all do and they are normal, but shooting for the sky when you are very little yourself is sort of arrogant and nagging, to say the least. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:03:57 PM |
Go to the gym, get a better job, excel at your career, get some new clothes, try a new haircut, be a positive person
I can also add to that: "dress differently, wear cologne, comb your hair this way etc...."
I've lost count of all the girls (good, bad, church, college and slutty) that tell me any of the things you described there in your post to improve my "dating" chances. It is their nature to look for what is perfect and, of course, what looks good. This is, of course, much more true of White/Caucasian women than any other ethnicity there is.
What's wrong with trying to look your best? Will it improve your chances ? yes . Will it guarantee anything ? no . There are no guarantees in life. Just because you are cleaned up and looking better does not mean you will look perfect . You will just look better and more appealing.
Would you be attracted to a woman with greasy ,stringy hair , dirty rumpled oversized clothing and rotting teeth ? I don't think so .Just by cleaning yourself up ,having your hair neatly styled and clothes nice and neat gives you a much better chance in the dating world ,but as i said nothing in life is guaranteed. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:36:43 PM |
What's wrong with trying to look your best? Will it improve your chances ? yes . Will it guarantee anything ? no . There are no guarantees in life. Just because you are cleaned up and looking better does not mean you will look perfect . You will just look better and more appealing.
Would you be attracted to a woman with greasy ,stringy hair , dirty rumpled oversized clothing and rotting teeth ? I don't think so .Just by cleaning yourself up ,having your hair neatly styled and clothes nice and neat gives you a much better chance in the dating world ,but as i said nothing in life is guaranteed.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with that. It is just the attitude behind it. Lack of acceptance. And just looking clean and groomed and all that is not enough. Then there will be another set of requirements and demands that are just not realistic.
Of course, I will not be attracted to anyone that is dirty, but this is the least of it. People that demand perfection demand in on so many levels that they are bound to repeatedly disappoint themselves, as it is evident in today's dating world. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:52:55 PM | Oh, for heaven's sake.
Preferring to meet someone with somewhat similar educational background and social circle is unrealistic? someone who is not a quiet or not-so-quiet drunk is unrealstic? someone who by the age of 40 or so has figure out the way to deal with life's challenges is unrealistic? someone who pays his/her bills is unrealistic? someone who's interested in little more than spending every Sunday on the couch in front of tha stupid box is unrealistic? reasonably well groomed and takes care of themselves is unrealistic? read something more in their life than the label on a beer bottle is unrealistic? I can go on and on you know.
These things are normal to me. I suppose they are unrealistic to many people. That's why I still keep  | |
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