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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:03:52 AM | Loving another person for the long haul is a lot of work. The budding of love is an easy period to get through because you have infatuation to support the emotion. Once that fades as it inevitably does, you're going to have to like the person you've chosen and enjoy their company. I think some women choose traits they believe will make it easier to love the person for the long haul. The fewer complaints you have to field, the easier it is to enjoy your time with the person.
I think some guys confuse what some women are truly looking for. If the goal was to find someone to grow old with, we'd all be married before we hit 25. It's easy to find someone suitable who will do. If the goal is to find someone you love that loves you with similar goals and lifestyle that you work well with...then that's going to take more time and many "suitable" men are going to be passed over.
I don't agree with women (or men) complaining about how hard it is to find someone when they're the ones who determine who is in the running. If you're to the point where you feel the need to complain about your dating options, then you should change them. Either reconsider if your preferences are reasonable for your situation or re-evaluate if you are a person who can get the type of person you're interested in. I can want an "ideal" man until the cows come home, but I don't possess the traits that attracts "ideal" men. Not to say that's what I'm looking for, I'm just trying to illustrate a point. To be honest my preferences are far from what is considered "ideal" from main society.
I don't think they're looking for perfection so much as a person they'll be happy with...not just acceptable, but enjoy their company. They focus on the areas that you can easily see and try to pick someone in that group if they're compatible. Having the baseline traits does not mean you get chosen, but having those traits gets you in the door to be considered. Some women can easily do this because they have a bevy of men to choose from. Some women can't as easily do this, but they won't lower their standards because it's better to be alone than with someone you'd rather not be with. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:52:40 AM | What each person thinks perfection is , is not always the same..But what ever you are looking for: that perfect man , that perfect women, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend.We are all looking for different things.But what ever it is you are looking for... just make sure you are able to be the same.. so if you want that perfect lady.. then by all means ,, you need to be that perfect men. Some times we are looking so (hard) to find the perfect this or that , that we forget to be the perfect this or that.( If you cease to give, then you will cease to get)Such are the ways of LOVE. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:50:44 PM | What I see in these forums and real life is its only "shallow" when a man has expectations and a list. ie a list could be nobody overweight, don't lie, don't cheat, 10 years younger/older, etc. That list could be for a man or woman. But if it was for a man then he is "shallow" I see it all the time and even of this post of women not "settling" but for a man to say that then I hear he should "lower his standards" to find someone. I say whats good for the goose is good for the gander. As long as I see women that will never settle then I won't either.
Also my standards are far from "supermodel" status. I go after the "average" girls. If I did get a perfect "10" then it would be a bonus .
Also it is true that the younger the woman, hence immaturity, the higher the expectations. But that's all it is immaturity. Once they see the grass isn't always greener then they settle down. Not settle but have better values on what is important. Muscles don't pay bills (unless he's a pro athlete), neither does a perfect 10 (unless they are a model) . Also partying only gets you in trouble, you go out drinking too much you could get a DUI, you get caught doing drugs you could go to prison. So that lifestyle doesn't last long either.
But oh well some people men and women have to learn the hard way.
Best of luck to everyone | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:07:50 PM | Expectations are too high for both ends of the spectrum and its the "good ones" that get caught in the middle.
Women want the Calvin Klein type of man and the men want the Gisele for a woman.
I mean, yeah, I take to females on here, we get along but when I show a pic or two, I never hear from them again. For them, its all cosmetic. First they say you are cool, etc. and that its not about looks, etc, I mean, I am a good looking young man, got the world by the tail and would change nothing. Perhaps the confidence intimidates them. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:26:21 PM | | you want perfection be a perfectionist. Once ya ace that look for a man at your level and see with happens. If you want to go for something big you better kick ass about going for what you want or else you'll be stuck at the same point where you left off. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:29:26 PM | | I believe many people keep looking for people with the "right amount" of money as a major value for the relationships. If everyone waited until everything was "just right/perfect" then hardly anyone would be in any relationships. Things constantly change, it is life and the base of who we are so those "perfect" situations come, go, and come again... | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:21:57 PM | Some women are like that, some are not. I do not worry about the ones who are and concentrate on the ones who are not. There are two things you can definitely count on in this life.
1. You are going to die someday.
2. Not all women are going to like you.
If you spend your time worrying too much about either one of these things, you will never get anything done. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:28:55 AM | What IS a woman's idea of a "perfect man"?
Oh sure...I could make a stupid blanket statement and say a guy who's handsome...has an instant gratification, variety-filled never-ending party lifestyle...and the unlimited finances to back it all up...but that would still be nothing more than an extremely jaded opinion of what I think a woman's idea of a "perfect man" might be...
Ask the woman herself... | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:52:45 AM | i agree with u and especially a lot in something u said.womens seem to be looking for a man with lots of traits that u never find in one man at the same time.
for example a women that wants a man that is a party guy yet at the same time responsible.
or a man that is pretty macho manly but at the same time the modern sensitive type man who communicates with is women and help around the house.
lets stop for a minute and think about how things work.it just doesnt work that way.
for example the macho man type is not the type who will help around the house.hes not the type who will be open to communicate and not the type who will be sensitive to a women's feelings and stuff.womens need to make a choice and deal with the choice they make and stop expecting a man to be evrything they expect.if they pick the macho guy who is the typical men who sits down with a beer and watches the football game and just says yes dear to mostly evrything his women says and really doesnt listen to what she says then they should accept that this guy will not be good at communicating when a problem occurs in the couple,he will not help around the house at all cause he probably believes the women was born to to do all that for him.if thats what attracts a women then she should go for that but dont come crying to your friend that hes not romantic enough or treats ya good. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:51:16 AM | I don't think women are looking for the "Perfect Man". What's happening is being too specific.
Again, if I said what I wanted exactly I'd never get anywhere.
I say specifically what I don't want, and am pretty general about what I do want. I want to have fun, and I stay focused on that. Because if we're having fun, both of us, then it's a win for both of us.
If it's all I want YOU to be blah blah, then just ignore it. I know I do. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:19:46 AM | I agree with many of the posts here all in different ways.
#1. If a girl wants these qualities in a guy she should already be doing it. No one has much success dating outside of their social level. Pretty Woman was just a movie.
#2. I find it hard to accept that a man with so many traits would be wasting ANY amount of time on the internet. If he were so upwardly mobile he would probably be using some type of professional "service" that does all the footwork for him.
#3. There are contradictions in many descriptions as pointed out. If a man has a "fantastic job" he probably is not going to be available to snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie.
#4. Relationships are about synergy. Women who place career first (income) will usually find that they and the person or spouse they have will be too involved at work and making money than to share any real time together. The relationship always suffers from a lack of intimacy. To me it is better to try and settle down first, and then inspire each other to find new ways by which the COUPLE can be financially stable like investments. There are very few men out there that earn enough to "take over" in the financial dept. and let their woman spend her own income as "mad money".
#5. Other contradictions are things like "don't live at home with parents" but "family is important"....The kid could be saving his money instead of paying rent when he didn't have to, a 'sleeper' in the responsibility dept. It also indicates that she is going to want to kick the kids out at 18 never to let them return....Another contradiction is "bad boy" but "please have all your ORIGINAL teeth"....I mean that is like saying you want a woman who has never experienced a broken bone. "Please have no fractured bones..." Teeth can be replaced albeit very expensively. So let's say I am the bad boy who busted his mouth on a motorcycle when he was younger, but has a great job with enough money to replace the teeth at 4k per pop. Still disqualified 'cuz the teeth aren't "original" | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:30:09 AM |
It's a realiability and integrity thing. Saying what you mean. If you don't want/mean/plan to call, don't say it. If you said it, do it.
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This is from an old post ... anyway ... you are driving a hard bargain.
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If you're attacked by a bear or lion, I'll step between,
if you're lost in the woods, I'll come find ya,
if our canoe tips over, I'll give you the life jacket
if your car breaks down, I'll come get ya,
if your wine glass is empty, I'll fill it, ...
..
..
But man, ya gotta give me a break on the phone thing. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:03:49 AM | think about it OP....
your on a free dating site witch is also used for forums...
the forums show the true colors of others views on everyday issues....
online dating gives us a chance to be really picky about who we're meeting
in real life genially we get what we see in the start and have to find out the hard way...
so online we take the chance to be picky cause we can  | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:32:48 AM | This really goes for both men and women. Now, when you find someone who you think is 'perfect', you're only setting yourself up for a let down later on. What I mean is that we all have faults, some of which might not present itself until later. And those latent faults don't have to be bad. But if you believed someone was 'perfect', that impression can be shattered. But shattered by how much depends on how deep inside and ingrained on your psyche the delusion of the 'perfect' man or woman is.
Talk about being wordy. lol. I'm trying to get to the point that you have to allow yourself some flexibility in who you're looking for. Perfection does not exist, nor should it. How boring it would be to be with somebody perfect, or someone who perceives themselves to be. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:02:38 PM | SOME girls ?? ... (lol) ... You're to be complimented on being 'more than kind' in your assessment! ...
SOME?? ... how about *YOU?* ... how about *ME?* ... how about *ALL OF US?* ...
By any chance - Have you happened to notice the phrase 'Won't Settle' in any bio?
... or a laundry list of requirements that stretches 1/2 the page?
G-e-e-e-e-z ! ... I got a good laugh outta THAT question !!
Some? ...
MM | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:37:16 PM | some are; I had one girl @ 27 emailing me; she was very pretty but it was obvious she was narcissistic. She said I choose you; you made my list. Well, in her profile there were 30; and I'm not kidding; 30 things a man must be to be with her.
I told the girl, I'm so sorry;"I looked on your profile and you only meet 19 out of 20 on my list; you just dont' make the cut; I wish you well. lol
There are many profiles that have so many listed things that a man has to meet, that its ridiculous.
Younger women are also much more shallow; the girls gone wild generation is just that. The STD rate for teens in the U.S. is now an amazing 25% and there doesn't seem to be a slowing of it. Many (not all obviously) but many want looks and/or money. If it wasn't true, then look at the forums with all the women getting screwed over by so many guys. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:19:19 PM |
It just seems to me that every girl is looking for a guy that is super manly but also sensitive, has a super ambitious job but will also cook you a magnificent meal, loves getting dirty outside but then loves snuggling on the couch. It's hard for a guy to be all those things!
You're right. Women these days only want the 26 year old millionaire who does philanthropy and models underwear for CK in his spare time. Don't worry though, I have this plan to have more women hang out with me!
I am going to move to the Northern Mariana Islands (the male/female ratio is only 0.71) and get a job bartending (I hear it's easy to meet women in that profession) and during my off days hire a prostitute to act like my girlfriend when I go out on the town (women only value men who already have a woman in their lives). I'm almost guaranteed to find a few ladies willing to hang out with me!! | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:12:33 AM | | first of all most women your age dont even nkow who they are yet.most of you choose ken dolls and get disapointed when they hurt you.then you go on and keep doing this then you sit back and wonder why you cant find the write man.your just as much to blame as the player you allowed it to happen.stop looking for things in men and start looking at what you have to offer. | |
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| are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:08:57 PM | Gee,I dunno,I have a house in Beverly Hills next to the Osbournes,a private jet,two casinos,I own my own beach island,have two Van Goahs,a free pass to the Playboy mansion any time I want to visit Hef and the girls,and I still can't get a date,lol! | |
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