|
|
|
|
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/16/2007 12:32:55 AM | Let's just do some experiment here...
Man A: drinks whisky as a horse, smokes cigars all day, workaholic, short tempered, it's always her way or the highway. Spoilt and on top of that, a bit arrogant. Aristocratic background. A bit of a painter but does not handle criticism well.
Man B: methodic, organized, does not drink nor smoke, focused, reads a lot, good at giving speeches. Loves Wagner's music.Humble background. Plays violin and paints, but mentions he is not really good at it.
If you had to pick one...which one would you pick? | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/16/2007 5:10:53 AM | | i think your doing just fine dear.one thing though.are you willing to go up to guys your intersted in and chat with then before they do? | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/16/2007 2:35:40 PM | In response to skyscrapper, I'd pick B, just because I'd have a lot more in common with him, plus A doesn't really sound like he has much respect for anyone other than himself, and the most important thing on my list is probably respect.
In response to passionand song, yes I have initiated contact with men, both in person and on the net. In fact most of the men I've dated have been men I've made the first contact with. I have found for some reason over the last couple years (since I broke up with my last boyfriend) that my approach isn't working anymore. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 1:46:40 PM |
In response to skyscrapper, I'd pick B, just because I'd have a lot more in common with him, plus A doesn't really sound like he has much respect for anyone other than himself, and the most important thing on my list is probably respect.
Congratulations!
You just picked Adolf Hitler over Winston Churchill. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 2:32:38 PM | | Well. never set the bar low~lol~ Keep your standards, adjust them as you go. At 23, there is still so much to discover. Hope you find the 'right one' for YOU. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 2:57:36 PM | Not just unrealeastic. But two faced an hipoctirical Lets just go through your wish list point by point.
===================================
. things like honesty,
==================
Girls swear undying love but over 80% of ALL divorces are intigated solely by wives. That is dishonest in the most imortant areasof the lot.
=========================
punctual,
====================
When the womens rage advise you to arrive , "fashionably late" do you ring them and compliain? You said you value punctual. Do you believe the women should also be punctual. ?
==========================
good sense of humor,
=======================
Take a dozen of the most spiteful man bashing "jokes" that you have ever heard about men. Change them to jokes about women, then about blacks. Then re tel them and see how funy they sound.
Eg - The novely shops used to sell a poster reading "ten reasons a vibrator is better than a man" usual stuff. But when those same novelty shops added one rreading "ten reasons why a beer is better than a woman" a massive outrage from the womens groups ensued.
=================================
goal oriented, smart/ well-educated (meaning minimum of a high school diploma)/
================================
Who are your heroes. Paticularly female heroes. Well? Paris Hilton perhaps, Jennifer Ashton? How about Rosalyn Franklin, or Sally Ride. I absoloutely loathe it when women preach about brains being important but have never heard of these two women.
My passion is vulcanology and seismology, even if I never went past year 12 geology.
But I have to be very careful where I talkabout this becasuse of come cranky femael scrreaming at me to Shadddupp! You'd think I'd been making rude remarks about their tits they way some fo them carry on
==================================
well informed (as in you read the paper and/or watch the news on a regular basis so you can talk about major issues),
=================================
ROTFLMAO
The female discussions revolve aroudn astrology , cosmetic surgery, loose seex (gissop mostly) and make up. I have never heard a female, even a female engineeer, discuss engineering outside the office.
==========================================
independent (as in you don't need me to keep you entertained and don't mind if I decide to stay home and study, or have a girl's night out/in) but still has time to spend with me,
====================================
As in beck and call . A man who can be shove into the back ground when I don't want him but will come running when I wistle. Dammmit. If you want a dog buy a dog.
============================
attractive (not asking for Brad Pitt or anything, but I don't want someone who never showers, or who is morbidly obese or something),
==================================
Once again double standard. Have a look through this board at the moans and gripesof morbidly obese woomen who can't get absolute stud guys.
=================================
will tolerate cats (liking/loving them is even better), respectful,
================================
See the humour posting. Respect for men is almost taboo.
===========================
similar interests (not all of them have to be the same, but we have to like some of the same things) and similar life goals, good manners,
===========================
Good manners??? Allmen are baa baarstards and all that.
============================
knows how to dress (or willing to accept advice on how to dress),
==========================
Ahh the old palited belt brigiade. A woman who was so shallow that she dumped her boyfined of six months for no other reason that he turned up on a date wearing an out of fashion plaited belt.
Reall dress sense folllows the bodys shape. Not whats currently on the catwalk.
eg I have massive shoulders and a gut to match. (I can still walk up to a wall chest first but that's because I have a big chest, not asmall gut.) So I dress to emphasise the shoulders to take the viewiers eye off whats below.
================================
well groomed /good hygiene,
====================
Excuse me. Talk about that the day you have shovelled a truck load of rubbish out at the public dump. It's called good honest sweat and my god do the women grizle about it.
==========================
knows what he wants out of life, single (non-negotiable... you'd be surprised how many guys who want to date me don't meet this one),
=============================
I woulndt be surprised at all. They are already married to a cranky nitpicker and a desperatly searchign for a way out of it. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:04:22 PM | Oh Skyscraper.
You forgot to mention two
HItler.
NEVER personally shot anybody that I know of althoug ordered the death of milions.
Churchill
Personally shot at least a dozen during the Indian mutinity. | |
|
| |
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:28:37 PM | Lets put it this way, your not looking for anything other then a man that was raised well and has self-respect. Your not asking for to much, your just need to be upfront, like you have, and give it a bit of time. You sound like a young woman that has allot to offer. You only get what you ask for in life.
Brian | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 6:51:09 PM | Ok this was so off base that I just had to reply.
Not just unrealeastic. But two faced an hipoctirical Lets just go through your wish list point by point.
===================================
. things like honesty,
==================
Girls swear undying love but over 80% of ALL divorces are intigated solely by wives. That is dishonest in the most imortant areasof the lot. I'm just curious where you got these statistics from, first of all. And second, have you examined the motives behind any of these divorces? Furthermore, this is only one example, and I can't even see how this is being dishonest. Yes we say we give our udying love, but when that love isn't reciprocated, it is very hard to maintain a relationship. Also, from what I've heard women are a lot more concerned with issues like infidelity and abuse than men are. When something like this comes up in a relationship, it's very hard to keep the relationship going.
=========================
punctual,
====================
When the womens rage advise you to arrive , "fashionably late" do you ring them and compliain? You said you value punctual. Do you believe the women should also be punctual. ? I 100% believe that women should be punctual as well. Just because it takes us longer in general to get ready is not a reasonable excuse to be late. By the time you get to be 20 or so you should know how long it takes you to get ready and plan accordingly. If you like to spend2 hours getting ready for a date you should plan the date accordingly by both getting ready more than two hours before the date and by scheduling a date that allows you to take a minimum of two hours getting ready. The only times I remember being late recently for anything was when I was relying on other people (as in I was meeting up with friends and they were late, thus making the entire group late) or when the weather is really bad (2 weeks ago we got a severe snow storm in the middle of the night, my normal 30-45 minute commute to school took well over an hour and a half, in cases like this lateness ins unavoidable. And if such a thing happened I would call my date to let them know what's going on. "I'm sorry I'm running late but traffic is awful because of the storm." Although chances are if I'm having difficulties, he probably is too, and if it's so bad out, the date may even be cancelled). I am almost always actually early for things, personally.
==========================
good sense of humor,
=======================
Take a dozen of the most spiteful man bashing "jokes" that you have ever heard about men. Change them to jokes about women, then about blacks. Then re tel them and see how funy they sound.
Eg - The novely shops used to sell a poster reading "ten reasons a vibrator is better than a man" usual stuff. But when those same novelty shops added one rreading "ten reasons why a beer is better than a woman" a massive outrage from the womens groups ensued. I actually think that the whole 10 reasons beer is better than a woman thing is actually pretty funny, if one takes it with a grain of salt. If you take it to be 100% true and live your life based on something like that you're pretty pathetic (and I'm speaking of both the beer and the vibrator posters). Most of the severe male bashing jokes actually aren't that funny.
=================================
goal oriented, smart/ well-educated (meaning minimum of a high school diploma)/
================================
Who are your heroes. Paticularly female heroes. Well? Paris Hilton perhaps, Jennifer Ashton? How about Rosalyn Franklin, or Sally Ride. I absoloutely loathe it when women preach about brains being important but have never heard of these two women.
My passion is vulcanology and seismology, even if I never went past year 12 geology.
But I have to be very careful where I talkabout this becasuse of come cranky femael scrreaming at me to Shadddupp! You'd think I'd been making rude remarks about their tits they way some fo them carry on Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and the like amuse me. I think it's so absolutely ridiculous that these women have to resort to that kind of behaviour, and I would certainly not want to emulate them. If I had to pick a female celebrity to emulate it would be someone more like Angelina Jolie, who look good and do good things at the same time. As for women I look up to, there honestly aren't that many of them. Maybe my mother and my grandmother who flaunted traditions and forged their own path. I will admit that I did not know who the two women you mentioned are and had to google them, but in my defence, neither of those women are in fields that really interest me, nor am I American, so things like the first American woman in space aren't things that I would have learned about in school. Although I'm sure that you don't know who Roberta Bondar is unless you're interested in that type of thing. I'm sure most American women don't know who she is. Congrats if you do by the way
==================================
well informed (as in you read the paper and/or watch the news on a regular basis so you can talk about major issues),
=================================
ROTFLMAO
The female discussions revolve aroudn astrology , cosmetic surgery, loose seex (gissop mostly) and make up. I have never heard a female, even a female engineeer, discuss engineering outside the office. It must be the women you hang out with. Most of the women I spend time with do discuss current events, like the war in Afghanistan, and political issues that range from local to global. We rarely discuss cosmetic surgery (except to say how it should only be used in extreme cases, like the child who has a growth the size of a football on his face, or a woman who has large breasts that are causing her a great deal of pain due to the size or in cases where there is some other sort of disfigurement [like burn vicims or women who recieve masectomies]) As for why you don't here of women discussing engineering outside the office, that is a pretty specialized area of knowledge and I would think that unless you actually took courses in engineering or read many books on the subject you would sound like a complete idiot. As no one wants to sound like a complete idiot, they probably choose not to discuss things like that. As for why women engineers don't discuss things like that outside the office, I'm sure you'll find it's like that for many professions. My mom is a computer programmer and she doesn't go around talking about computer programming. My dad is an accountant, and he doesn't go around talking about accounting all the time. Again these are specialized areas, and not something that interests many people, so to discuss them would make many people bored or feel less intelligent as they don't know a lot about the subject. Furthermore, I would imagine that after spending 8+ hours of your day immersed in something the last thing you want to do is come home and talk about it, as you've spent all day dealing with it and need a break, plus unless your spouse is in the same career as you, they probably won't understand half of what you're saying, and then you'll have to explain everything to them, which is frustrating for both parties.
==========================================
independent (as in you don't need me to keep you entertained and don't mind if I decide to stay home and study, or have a girl's night out/in) but still has time to spend with me,
====================================
As in beck and call . A man who can be shove into the back ground when I don't want him but will come running when I wistle. Dammmit. If you want a dog buy a dog. No I do not want someone who is at my beck and call, I want someone who communicate with me about the fact that they always have guys night out on mondays to watch football, and he won't be available that day, and the 3rd friday of every month is beer night or whatever. And he should thus understand that most Thursdays are girls night in, when we do our nails for the weekend, watch mindless tv and generally take time to not think about anything too serious as a way to start winding down for the weekend. I do not want a man who would be insecure about the fact that I need to spend time with my friends.
============================
attractive (not asking for Brad Pitt or anything, but I don't want someone who never showers, or who is morbidly obese or something),
==================================
Once again double standard. Have a look through this board at the moans and gripesof morbidly obese woomen who can't get absolute stud guys. It goes both ways for this one. There are many morbidly obese men on here who whine about how they can't get women either.
=================================
will tolerate cats (liking/loving them is even better), respectful,
================================
See the humour posting. Respect for men is almost taboo. I do respect men, as long as they have respect for me and for themselves. I have no respect for anyone, male or female who thinks that they're entitled to treat others like crap.
===========================
similar interests (not all of them have to be the same, but we have to like some of the same things) and similar life goals, good manners,
===========================
Good manners??? Allmen are baa baarstards and all that. I'm not quite sure what you're getting at here. It is really not that hard to say please and thank you, to not swear your head off, to write thank you notes and to act respectful towards others. Nor is it that difficult to use utentsils when eating anything but finger foods, to avoid belching at the table (or if you cannot hold it in to say 'Pardon me' or 'excuse me' without adding in 'it wasn't me it was my food'), or to ask to be excused when you have to leave the dinner table for whatever reason. If you can't handle these basics, I'm not really all that interested.
============================
knows how to dress (or willing to accept advice on how to dress),
==========================
Ahh the old palited belt brigiade. A woman who was so shallow that she dumped her boyfined of six months for no other reason that he turned up on a date wearing an out of fashion plaited belt.
Reall dress sense folllows the bodys shape. Not whats currently on the catwalk.
eg I have massive shoulders and a gut to match. (I can still walk up to a wall chest first but that's because I have a big chest, not asmall gut.) So I dress to emphasise the shoulders to take the viewiers eye off whats below. If you dress appropriate to your body shape, that is generally fine. There are many pieces that are also timeless (like a tailored black suit, black dress pants, jeans etc etc) What I meant more by this is that you don't wear tacky leisure suits from the '70's or whatever (unless it's a theme party or halloween and are in costume) that you don't wear clothes that are far too tight or too loose (the rapper look, in my opinion is just butt ugly, I don't care if it's in style) and that you don't wear that t-shirt with the tuxedo painted on it to a formal or black tie event if you are invited to one.
================================
well groomed /good hygiene,
====================
Excuse me. Talk about that the day you have shovelled a truck load of rubbish out at the public dump. It's called good honest sweat and my god do the women grizle about it. And what is wrong with your shower that you cannot use it after a day spent sweating, or working with garbage or going to the gym or whatever? You're not made of sugar, taking more than one shower a day isn't going to kill you. I don't think it's too much to ask that if you've participated in some sort of activity that makes you smell bad that you shower after. I generally shower before bed as I don't like leaving the house with wet hair and don't want to take the time in the morning to dry it. It's not so bad in the summer, but it is not fun in the winter. If I have something to do after my workout I'll shower immediatly after, same with if I work out in the morning. It's really not that hard.
==========================
knows what he wants out of life, single (non-negotiable... you'd be surprised how many guys who want to date me don't meet this one),
=============================
I woulndt be surprised at all. They are already married to a cranky nitpicker and a desperatly searchign for a way out of it. This would be something he would have to discuss with his significant other. If he didn't want to be with a cranky nitpicker, he shouldn't have married her in the first place, and if he is married to her, or dating her, then he should get himself out of that relationship before jumping into another relationship with someone else. There really is no reason to date someone when you're already involved with someone else. If you're not getting what you need out of your relationship, you need to communicate that to your partner and figure something out together, or end the relationship. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:02:46 PM | | It is not bad to have high expectations, but do not expect to married in this lifetime. good luck!! | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:22:33 PM | | ya sorry dear.it seems to me your not looking for the guy, your looking for a guy.clorin has it right so far.i imagine the guy you find that keeps you wanting more will be nothing like you predicted.your expectations on paper are fine,but your motives seem a little tainted. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/19/2007 5:21:26 AM |
Lets put it this way, your not looking for anything other then a man that was raised well and has self-respect. Your not asking for to much, your just need to be upfront, like you have, and give it a bit of time. You sound like a young woman that has allot to offer. You only get what you ask for in life.
Psychological projection here???
By the way... "You only get what you ask for in life"... sounds like a very naive self-sufficient kinda cliche. In all honesty, what you get in life are the things you happened to run into randomly, the ones you worked your ass off in order to get them and (let's not forget this) the things you were given by either god/universe/karma/people even though you did not deserve them or did little effort to get.
Funnily enough, whenever I come across these s0-called self sufficient beings... as soon as they start the "You only get what you ask for in life" discurse... I allways ask: so.. what have you got?
Their faces ussually change, never give a straight answer, laugh nervously... | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/19/2007 5:23:27 AM |
Not just unrealeastic. But two faced an hipoctirical Lets just go through your wish list point by point.
I think you have an issue with women... your list is full of stereotypes. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/19/2007 6:56:56 AM | | well,unfortunatly ,like most of us,your looks aren't going to do anything for you as far as attracting someone,wpg. it makes me think of myself,I've had a 'friend' now for almost a year,she's kind of homley looking but she's soo upbeat,friendly and optomistic, that it makes her a beautiful person.unfortunatley,media, family and society have brainwashed me to look for beauty,and right now the two forces are at all out war inside me,anyway this isn't about me,good luck in law school,you'll probably click with a study partner,he'll ask to borrow a pen ,and you'll fall in love,or he'll date you for a while and you'll find him in the study hall with some other girl,ahahaha,gotta go | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:39:28 AM | After reading everyone's input I feel you got more than your fair advise.
I am glad you changed you profile it sounds more down to earth. You should consider adding a better picture that shows the real you and a close up would be good.
Don't change your requirements for a great guy but do be open minded and don't judge a person by it's cover. You may want to enjoy just being young and intellectual...but fun.  
You sound like a great person. Give yourself a chance to have fun and enjoy life. The "future" lawyer in you seems to have taken over (lawyers do tend to take things too serious and have a very demanding life). Remember...once you graduate it will be your life. You have a lifetime of court dates and cases to catch up with that may or may not influence your ability to date or share time with that special someone (trust me, I know).
So have fun and let the "non-future attorneys" of the world see the real you. That special someone will come...just think of all the great things you both will share.
Good Luck!
 | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/19/2007 8:19:25 AM | wpg chik.. You keep pointing out that you don't want an older man..
You would be surprised at the number of your age that I have turned down ..
Not because of their age but because of their maturity..
I have turned down 3 in the past week that are your age. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/20/2007 2:47:02 AM | No I dont think your being unreasonable nor unrealistic. Addressing a couple of the things u mentioned...
I don't want someone who is obese either, having been on both sides of this I know whats its like to be overweight, but i did something about it and lost 100lbs; therefore i dont feel sorry for obese ppl, i wouldnt want to date one as fit people didnt want to date me when i was heavy.
U sound somewhat like me, u want someone ur attracted to...as call "reasonably attractive.
Finding someone who has something going for them is totally reasonable, u shouldnt settle on someone who cant hold a job, or like u mentioned doesnt bathe regularly.lol.
Finally the age thing...your 23, within 10 years is the age range you should be looking for. Im 41, and while my gf is 29, its unlikely i would date anyone under 25 or over 45, but i never say never. Recently i came across another girls profile, she was 35, she had in caps no guys over 37. So i responded asked why 37?? theres not much difference between a 37 or 40 y/o guy or girl for that matter. As i suspected she replied saying most guys over 37 have the "ED" thing going on. Well i cant speak for everyone, but im not one of them.
Your totally within what most people want in a another. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/20/2007 4:51:22 AM | | I really don't know you, but when I read your profile I get this impression that you are not a relaxed person at all, not that I am saying I am mr. relaxed. Your profile seems to say that you need to chill a bit. Your profile sounds way too negative rather than positive. You almost have this air about you where you feel you are extremely smart in a non-humble way. Now, I am just a stranger, I don't know you, it's not my business. This is just a forum, but you asked. If I were your age, I would like many of your qualities, but I would be turned off by this certain wall I sense in you. Consider that. I could be wrong, though. I am a guy. It's just my perception. Others may have the same one. Guys like a girl to have a little warmth, openness, to not be so focused on what she wants, but also what she gives and how she's like. I could go into more detail. Anyway, it's good that you asked. It's not too much to expect someone who is educated, looks decent, and is well spoken. There are tons of guys like that, but the question is what will attract them to you. And pictures do help.... | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:41:00 AM | Ha ha.. It's funny because I was approaching the question and thought:
Man A) Well this guy sounds like a bit of a handful, but I can usually knock guys down off their ladder a few steps
Man B)... Wow this guy sounds gre--WAGNER!? Hells no. Anti-Semetic noise/chaos.
So I was having a tough time choosing... thinking something seemed wrong with both, and then scrolled to find out who they were..That was a fun game! I'm glad to hear that I wasn't particularly impressed by Churchill or Hitler.
Wasn't the only reason Hitler admitted to being no good at painting because he actually failed to make a career of it... like because everyone else KNEW he was no good? | |
|
| |
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:21:13 AM | Sorry but you come across as very negative and arrogant. It gives the impression of a Queen looking for a suitor.
(not asking for Brad Pitt or anything, but I don't want someone who never showers, or who is morbidly obese or something)
Very Dishonest statement. we all must be attracted to someone before anything can happen. No matter how you spin it.
I really don't want to date someone who has been married (unless they've been widowed... I think that these days people don't take marriage seriously enough and have doubt that someone who stayed married for 10 years or so would share this value).
Just because someone is divorced does not mean they did not try. people make mistakes. Sometime divorce happened through the fault of the actions of their partner. This statement is very narrow minded, and shows that you are very intolerant of anything that is "imperfect" in your mind.
Drugs (including pot) are a huge turn off.
Totally agree with that one.
But it seems I can't find a man that actually has all the qualities I look for
You never will. He dosen't exist. Men are human beings full of faults.
I honestly think I'm pretty great and don't think that any of the qualities I ask for are qualities I myself don't possess. I took etiquette classes, so manners and all that I have down to a t.
when dating what matters is if the other person thinks you're great. Etiquette is only good in high-society situations.
You come across as very arrogant, Intolerant . Its a big turn off. I suggest that you rethink some things.
Tom | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/28/2007 12:16:29 PM | | Please do not take your tiara picture photo down! We need the smoke signals. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/28/2007 12:33:01 PM | You are not being unrealistic...but maybe a tad impatient?
Remember that this is only ONE way to meet men. It should not be the only way though, or else you eliminate a ton of guys who are not at home sitting behind thier PC. Some men are out doing things, being a part of life.
I also have been called picky, choosey...whatever...and have spent many years single because of it. But-I dont want just anyone. I want the guy who is perfect for me. Not perfect...just perfect for me.
I have come to realize that while looking online is a good venue, it should not be the only venue. Odds are the guy I will like has other things going on besides sitting in his crappy little apartment (or Moms basement)playing online poker and scrolling thru women's profiles. Odds are he is out with friends (cause he has friends), or on a date with someone not suited to him at all..because he hasn't met me yet! LOLOL I am joking about what the guys in here do...LOLOLOL..but there are alot of those!
So, hold tight my dear. Dont ever settle. You are way too young to even consider that!
I have seen your posts, and although I dont always agree, I find you very articulate. You are not a stupid young woman...and your time will come.
It sounds like your are simply looking for someone your mom and dad would approve of. Kudos. | |
|
| Am I being unrealistic?
Posted: 12/28/2007 2:35:21 PM | hey chick 84...this is really long, so (but I don't think you have a problem reading long text...:))
Ah - it's hard when you put yourself out there to be judged, no? You ask for help, and you end up being judged. Please don't take this as another judgement, I am the last person to be able to do that, otherwise I wouldn't be here. But since you have asked for an outside view...
A friend of mine once said to me that if you really want to know what other people are saying about you(thinking about you) it's really not that hard - you just have to be honest with yourself, and look, really look. Close your eyes, visualize yourself as you are, how you are dressed, speak, etc., and see what you see. Goes without saying that it won't usually be positive. That's called being human.
People in writing are very different than people in person - you're obviously used to writing for school purposes mainly. The style is very matter-of-fact, straight to the point, non-emotional, informational, purposeful, driven. Very cerebral, planned, organized. This is probably not the only way you are. Look at nature. On the surface it's hardly any of the above, and then remember that love is natural. It doesn't fit into the boxes you've created. Remember the love story between Princess Leia and Han Solo?
There's a reason characters like that are so well-loved, they are based on something deeply instinctual...Leia was a princess, yes, but she got down and dirty when it came to it, and wasn't afraid to. Solo was down and-dirty, yes, but when it came down to it, he could rise above himself. If Leia had never gotten down and dirty, she would never have found Solo. If Solo had never risen above himself and embodied finer human characteristics, he would never have been able to attract or keep Leia. They each embodied what was inside of the other, and wouldn't have been attracted to each other otherwise....
Sometimes you have to look outside of the box. Sometimes you have to look at what is really inside yourself, and not what you are trying to mold your outside self to be.
I have a feeling you aren't really attracted to the type of men you say you are looking for; that you would like to have a family and a secure life, and since to you the logical conclusion is, that only men that meet your requirements would be interested in or would like that, then you will be attracted to one of those.
But, deep down, you're not really attracted, physically, hot and heavy, attracted to that type, are you? Reading between the lines you sound very frustrated, split between what you think (and since you've been trained to be cerebral, you only listen to this voice)and what you really want. I don't think your friends boyfriends are that fantastic, sorry. And I don't believe you couldn't have had one of their clones as well.
Change your profile, make it more emotional, cut the fronting, and just show your insides. Don't tell me that is you. That's why no is buying into it, it isn't. Nobody has a relationship with a degree. They have one with you, your emotions, and how well you share them.
Also, you sound like you are looking for a relationship with yourself, not even a person similiar to you, but exactly like you. That's not going to happen. So you should show that you are accepting of people and their differences, unfortunately right now you come across as being very..."snooty" and not in a cute way.
23 is way too young nowadays anyhow, you'll probably be divorced by the time you're in your early thirties. You're young, still developing and changing at a fast rate - not physically, and this is where many young people are fooled, not seeing the fast rate of physical development anymore you think you're done - no, your mentality and personality are in serious development now, (you'll be different when you finish your studies, different after you start working, different in the middle of your career, different when your life bores you, and on, and on), and the odds that you'll find a partner that develops and changes at the same rate in the same direction, are slim.
Don't take yourself so seriously. You're not the only one on this planet, God didn't create just you, everyone has an allowance to be here. Let people know what you're little quirks are, they're usually more attractive than your perfection. People that can laugh about themselves are considered attractive.
People like to laugh, have fun and enjoy. I'm sure you too - bring this out in your profile. Tongue-in-cheek on your profile is good, some get it, some don't who cares. Can't please everybody, you don't want to anyhow. Write what you do want in others, in yourself, people like positivity.
Your expectations are great. Your morals and standards are very high...which is good in theory. Reality will demand very other things of you. Books ad nauseum have been written on this dilemma - the loss of innocence.
It sounds to me you were raised very sheltered, in an environment that has high levels of accomplishment. Fantastic, you've learned drive, morals, ethics, etc. Childhood cradle has done it's job. Now take off to New York for two months and LIVE. Sounds to me you haven't lived yet. Maybe you've traveled, that's not what I mean. You have to do it. Because eventually you will, and it might break up your marriage - so if you want one that lasts, in this day and age, you should get out there and live.
Lose the tiara. It's like the christian that's needs a fish on the back of his car to let others know he's a christian.
Project light and happiness, the darkness in man seeks light, light doen't really look for darkness, unless they're Mother Theresa. So shine your light, and it will attract someone's dark. Then make sure that their light attracts your dark. Yin and yang.
You can only do this if you, as in the beginning stated, look at yourself, and accept yourself. A relationship between a degree and a portfolio must be a very sad, lonely affair. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
