| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 11:31:55 AM |
...I'm throwing my hat in with Mr. Wizard.
One of the reasons I ended a 10 year relationship with a very smart, tallented, and actractive woman, was that we had absolutely nothing in common. Sure we tried to accomodate each other, but in the end, with both of our busy jobs, we spent very little of our down time together. There were times where it felt like we were just roomates.
Turning 45, I realized that neither of us would ever be truely happy together, so I pulled the rip-cord...
You don't have to be a clone with your partner, but there should be some significant things you share together, if you want the relationship to thrive in the long run. Unless a roomate is good enough... No thanks!
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 12:04:07 PM | The same intelligence, confidence and drive it takes to be a proficient climber make a woman successful in just about anything she wants to do. I look at it less as a common interest and more of an evidence of basic qualities that I find attractive in a woman. I could go on with the list of qualites I want and while most climber have them in spades, just about any "extreme" sports athelete will have them as well. Maybe I'm just looking for a set of qualities that are rare in women? Maybe it's rare for women who have these qualites to have been exposed to this type of sport? I'm not sure what the reasons are, but women are under represented in these sports.
On the other hand, the percentage of female climber I find attractive is a much greater portion than the portion of attractiveness I find in women as a whole. I'd latch onto one of those awesome female climbers but they're all 15 years or more younger than me and then I'd be "taking advantage of her," right? 
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 12:26:01 PM | | I think it's up to you to gauge how important each of your different sports are to you and how often you like to do them (is it really just Saturday afternoon?), since you probably aren't going to find someone who is a 100% match. I'd do some research into which of these activities are more popular with women (I'm sure they all do stats on % men vs. women who participate) and work from there. Also, if you just go out and do this stuff by yourself or with your male friends, that probably isn't the most conducive way to meet women who are interested in the same activities. Find ways to increase your social circle so women might join in, or if you're really motivated, start a club in your area or start teaching classes. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:08:09 PM | Well OP I am 47. I have alot of female friends as I do that thrive on what you are calling extreme sports. I am sorry but alot of these sports you listed are pretty tame to me.. You need to add Heli-Skiing, Snowmachine Highmarking, Ice climbing.. the list goes and on..What I have found is I tend to gravitate towards people with the same interests for love.
Other people that don't have the inner drive for thrill try as they might they can't grasp it. I personally have tried to have relationships with others. It always ends in a conflict when I hear " Are you nuts... Since I don't think twice about my activities.
One compromise that has helped me out is I ask right up front would you have problem with me doing this.. I am not asking you to.. The same as Please don't ask to go shopping.. IF they do I know I have to move on and they are put in friends category.
You also might trade Saturdays even tho she might not go with you.. Offer her a Sat doing that dreaded flea market stuff. IF she will give you a Saturday to indulge.
bottom line be true to who you are.. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:14:35 PM | I love "short track running!" Nothing more extreme!
that's when you put the bed in the middle of the room, and chase her all around it!......NAKED!
exchanging weekends is a really good idea. Try that and see what the response is. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/17/2007 6:35:53 PM |
NO NO NO dont ever change who you are for any one. Ditto on that!!!
I may not be able to keep up on all of those things, but I would work at it and give it my best shot. If I decide I really don't like something though, I still wouldn't make my other half give it up. I can very easily entertain myself almost anywhere.
My sister and her husband are into different things, so they go camping together, but during the day she'll hit the water in her kayak and he'll take off for a ride on his motorcycle, and they meet up again in the evening for supper and hanging out by the campfire. A great thing about doing things separately is that you have things to tell each other then at the end of the day. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/18/2007 4:50:35 PM | BoOg E Mann,
Do not give up what you enjoy in life for anyone...Sooner or later you will regret giving up the things you enjoy doing for someone else...Some of us women do love extreme sports...In my past I gave up all I enjoyed doing in life to try and appease the man in my life and in the end it made me bitter...If you feel you have to "tone down" your Saturday's just to get a date then maybe you are looking for the wrong kind of woman...At 37, I have been trick rollerblading since my son was seven years old (he is now 16) and finding a man that wants to do that adventure with me is difficult but, I refuse to let it stop me from enjoying my life...I also have found great love and rush for bungee jumping yet, most of my friends do not want to venture out with me on this one either...does it stop me??? No! I go hiking/camping nearly every weekend and if someone can't deal with it then tough...I go and shoot pool at least once a week with my guy friends and/or go watch a game at a local sports bar...Why do I do it??? Because, for one I love sports and for two I love the atmosphere and unwinding with a game of pool...I have been accused of not slowing down enough but, I do not let it stop me...I live in the here and now and I want to enjoy my life instead of trying to appease a man...Either he likes me for who I am or he doesn't and in that case there are plenty of fish in the sea...Don't get me wrong, I am willing to make compromises but will not compromise who I am and/or stop enjoying the things I do in life just to find a date...and neither should you! If you have to walk away from everything you love to do for "true love" then it is not really true love...If she really loves you then she will love you for all the man that you are not just bits and pieces...Good luck in your search but please do not give up being who you are for anyone! Be proud of who you are and enjoy yourself and the things you enjoy doing...You will be more respected for being you than if you try and change for someone else...plus one day you will end up being mad at yourself and resenting your mate for changing into something you are not!
Always,
Kat    | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/19/2007 6:34:10 AM | I see you have a pretty long and varied list of interests on your profile. If you are looking for a woman who likes all of the same things as you, then I am afraid you will be looking for a very long time. For example, I think camping, hiking, traveling, going to music festivals and museums sounds like a great time. I wouldn't be interested in jumping out of an airplane or rock climbing, but I also don't want to sit at home and watch television.
That is why I think it is important to have a big circle of friends, and not rely on your significant other to meet all of your needs. I know there are plenty of people out there who like extreme sports. Why not try to find a club or organization that includes people like you? Maybe you will meet a woman who enjoys the same activities, but if not, you will more than likely make some new friends and have someone to risk your neck with  | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 12/19/2007 1:05:52 PM | 2004 data, but ...
70% of mountain bikers are male
60% of mountain/rock climbers are male
49% of inline skaters are male
If I had to guess, age is likely a factor in there too, and there are probably more women at younger ages. If you could find a library that has this Superstudy of Sports Participation (http://www.americansportsdata.com/), you could get the 2007 data which has male/female ratios by age range. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:05:03 AM | The reason why the people who DO NOT will never undertand the people who DO take part in adventurous sports (as in other walks of life) can be quoted by Nietzsche -
Fr. Nietzsche :
"The higher we rise, the smaller we appear to those who do not know how to fly."
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:34:57 AM | Hell NO! Don't tone it down for anyone... it's part of wha makes you YOU!
I love extreme sports to watch, but wouldn't and in some sports couldn't participate. I've tried rock climbing, abseiling, hikeing, biking but have always wanted to do a white water rafting day and scuba diving, but I got ill and am now unable to do the raftng so ...
Give me a flask of tea, some sarnies and a good book and i'll be more than comfortable to be an encouraging member of the audience. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:56:30 AM | | If you feel compelled to change--she isn't the one for you. You may need to do some compromise, but if someone cares for you they will allow you to follow your interests as they would want to follow their own. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:02:41 PM | | Don't change who you are, OP. There are lots of women who would support you in your activities, even if they aren't going to do those things themselves. Lots of women would probably get involved, too. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 1:03:59 PM | Don't change, and women exist who do enjoy these things. Don't necessarily expect them to take it to the same level you do though.
Speaking for myself I do like hiking, biking, rock climbing etc (though don't want to jump out of an airplane). I'm never going to do those things with quite the same passion as you do though because horses are my high.
There is compromise. I'd love to go for a day hike once a month, maybe a short (not a full day) bike ride once a week and do horses every day. My idea of a great vacation is going kayaking, hiking or something along those lines for a week in the summer. You can go do these things every day while I ride my pony(substitute other peoples passions here).
My criteria for enjoying these things out with a partner though is that I need to feel like you can enjoy the trip at my pace. If you make me feel badly about holding you back then I won't want to do it with you. Also, don't leave me behind on the trail, its a basic safety issue that not everyone follows. If you haven't thought about it while out before perhaps you should.
Joining an outdoors club is a good idea. Woman don't want to be hit on all the time while out with these groups but you'll get to know them and then you can take if from there. If nothing else you end up meeting some new outdoors friends.
Anyway, that 2 cents from a woman would would like to meet an outdoorsy guy. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 1:51:47 PM |
I mean I would gladly walk away from everything for true love, but that would just a future relationship killer. Anybody have any advice or how to deal with the problem?
This statement would preclude me from meeting/dating you. I don't want a man who would forego his activities, dreams, hobbies, etc.
If you can't be true to you and wait for a woman who "gets" it, you wouldn't do well with me. I am an adrenaline junkie, so maybe I see it differently, but ANY man willing to "throw away everything" for me ~ isn't wanting me, he's wanting anyone ~ sorry .... not an option. I'll spend my life entirely alone before I take away someone's excitement. I had been dating someone, we had a few drinks one afternoon, went to the skateboard park and actually asked the kids to teach us ~ my God, they were more excited than we were. We did it though ~ I sucked.....he's good. That's what "compatibility" is and it's required to go the long haul. At least with me. JMO  | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:29:34 PM | hey Boog, where do you live, I am a class A licensed skydiver working towards class B!! LOL
I am the same most men my age do not like anything I do, I dont force it upon them. I like to learn their hobbies, but some I scare away cuzz I am an adrenoline junkie.
Oh well, I love my hobbies, not giving them up for anyone, nor should you.
You coudl ask them, woud you like to learn and or try, see how that goes?
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:53:05 PM | | I love to hike,I love to bike,but being 41 the rest is scary,It would be sexy to watch though.I would date someone that does all that if I could watch,but I would be scared to try alot when my life is in danger. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:21:51 AM | the "life in danger" bit of it is a fallacy, usuallt due to the way extreme/adventure sports are portrayed by the media...& by those not involved
Ok. there are risks, but there are more risks associated with driving & crossing the road.
Calculated risks, safety checks, training & emergency procedures.
Give it a go, It might change your life... no.. It WILL change your life.
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 3/17/2008 5:12:16 AM | | Simply put, I would rather be alone then be with somone that tells me what I can and can't do. Granted maybe my hobbies are a bit easier to mesh with somone, they can sit on the boat like a bump on a log and tan or whatever, I'm there to wakeboard and thats it, same goes for snowboarding sit in the lodge honey. By the same token if you find somone that, while maybe not sharing your enthusiasm for your sports, tolorates it, then you should be able to show the same level of interest in whatever thier hobbies are. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 3/17/2008 12:18:59 PM |
I see you have a pretty long and varied list of interests on your profile. If you are looking for a woman who likes all of the same things as you, then I am afraid you will be looking for a very long time....
That is why I think it is important to have a big circle of friends, and not rely on your significant other to meet all of your needs.
I agree with this completely. Don't look for exact sameness in interests. Look for some overlap so there is SOMETHING you can share in terms of free time activities, but mostly look for compatibility for making a life together. If you marry you will be sharing finances, home life, decision making, and if you have kids a whole lot of teamwork goes into that. Matching for those things is most important, and of course, physical attraction being there. As long as your woman is okay with your spending your Saturday afternoons doing your own thing (devoting Sunday afternoons to her, maybe), you're okay.
I'm not into sports but I've dated avid tri-athletes and karate afficianados. I couldn't share any of that with them, but I have interests of my own I enjoy pursuing without them too. When they would go off to do their thing that would give me time alone at home to do my thing. It was a great balance and both those relationships lasted a couple of great years (until I had to relocate, in both cases). But if they had demanded I be their buddy in those activities we couldn't have gone out together at all. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:24:15 PM | hehe Oh,what a dilemna you have lol Your title is hilarious. I feel for you - because you have to be with someone who is going to share your passions!!
No, you shouldn't give up - I didn't check out where you live...you may need to move to Colorado if you don't already live there :). I went nuts when I read your interests - and there's gotta be more of me - so is the problem the type of women you're contacting?? Are you somewhere in there drawn to the wiles of girly-girls??? There's lots of athletic and very good looking women - maybe it's the area you're in... I don't know you might have to think outside the box in terms of your comfort zone for meeting women. But don't despair - please, you're 39...
Lots of credible sources say that if you visualize exactly what you want you are a co-creator with the universe and that thing will eventually manifest itself in your experience - I know that sounds fluffy but it works.
No, nobody should settle. I must watch American Idol...cheers. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:11:16 PM | | I would join you in any of those, might need a little teaching with rock climbing and geocaching, but heck yeah!!!!Maybe you need to look elsewhere to find the women who want to do those things. Don't give up your Saturdays. | |
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| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:09:41 PM | I find I have the same problem. Too many men are 420 friendly and prefer the sedimental lifestyle.
I love the adventure! Yes, I do have my limits but what is better than being able to Live life with someone who enjoys life as much as you?!
You dont want someone who drags you down but is on the same stride as you. And thats hard. I am finding most men are afraid of strong woman like me. If you have passion for life and you know what you want is that such a bad thing? Grrr, or is that special someone unsure to make the first move..
This can be fustrating! HUGS!! | |
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Mizzi
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Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 50 | |
| I'm 39 and women hate Extreme Sports
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:56:52 PM | Most women of 39 have children at home and they tame their lifestyle to work around them. You may need to look for a very sporty younger woman if you are looking for someone to share your extreme sports.
Priorities change in life and 39 is an age where a lot of people have families and dont want to take the risks involved for fear of broken bones/sports injuries. This is why a lot of guys retire from rugby at 35-40, the inujuries cause too much distress in the family.
And I am not saying YOU have to change. Be youself and do what makes you happy. | |
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