| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:09:01 PM | Time for you to go a fishin'  Simple: Find you a man that likes sex (it shouldn't be that hard........)  | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:09:50 PM | | I do not use him for sex or chores. We don't live together. We just date. I am legally separated waiting for my divorce to be final because there is a waiting period in NY. As I stated before- I joined this site in November after this gentleman broke up with me but after we decided to work things out I didnt come back on this site until tonight when my friend at work said she wanted me to check out her profile. Then I saw the forums which I had never been on before and decided to ask for some advice. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:11:46 PM | Quote :"I am a very loving and giving person and I give 200 percent to the person I am in a relationship with- I just want him to show me that he cares and that I matter enough for some effort on his part." Unquote
Maybe,,,,,,, just maybe, you are a bit "too much" for him right now? It could be that he is still in love with the ex-wife or maybe he is still hurting and not sure how to take a serious relationship right now. Maybe, you should step back, give him breathing room .. or since you haven't been in a different relationship since your marriage ended, well..... maybe you shoud step back and date a few more and not get so serious. Seems to be there is a balance there... you both step back and take a breather, no sence in pushing the issue. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:12:32 PM |
If you have any other suggestions on treatments or therapy we might pursue I would be happy to hear it.
Try dressing up like a priest! Reminding him of good times in his past as an alter boy could bring his libido back!
~Belly~
Yes I know I'm going to hell for that one, well that one and a few others.. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:15:33 PM | Likely not gay. By what you have described.. you are having pretty much one sided relationship, you give him 200% and he reluctantly accepts. Maybe consider another  who is into you and into sex with you? If a man is into a woman.. he usually cannot get enough... | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:16:04 PM | | who knows, it's hard to tell with the little information you gave. maybe he has preformence angxiety?some times sex begins to slow down after a while. if he doesn't trip your trigger move on to someone who will.if it will make you happier. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:18:05 PM | Let's get candid.. Fun Fun !!
I suspect since you give 200%, that this loser is just letting you do everything but wipe his rump and riding the wave.. . Why should he have to do anything if he knows he can whine and talk his way out of it?
"Take out the garbage? Help clean up? Go by the store? I don't wanna!!"
Face it, you are his mom...
And who would want to sleep with thier mom? | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:18:49 PM | | Dear Dizzy--that is some very perceptive advice. I do tend to push. Some of my good friends tell me that since I am a "fixer" that I don't know how to just let things happen-that I have to make them happen. But in my defense- I have taken my friends advice and when I don't approach him for intimacy we have gone three weeks without sex until I do initiate-so I have tried to give the relationship some breathing room. I have tried not calling him or contacting him to allow him space- then he almost panics and accuses me of not caring about him anymore. Not sure which way to turn.... | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:19:12 PM | He may be on line too, but in a serious relationship. Some people, men and women, want to come across as 'faithful', which means while you are getting chewed out as being too demanding, he's trolling for 'better' on the information hiway. Or you are, I don't know. Let's say he is, then you, fed up, leave, he says to the new one, I was faithful, she left me.
Something's up. He's pushing you away. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:23:29 PM | other than sex how demanding do you think you are
do you expect him to pick up the weeks shopping etc
i know that when i thought my x was playing around i didn.t want to touch her .
may be he is transfering that from previous relation
get him to see a physc | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:24:18 PM | ha maybe he is not gay... have you tried something out of the norm as in kinky? some men are better with the kinky sex more mental play and then sex before they do it...
have you ever asked him what he thinks about bdsm?
I like going thru things... that would be computer/bedroom, if you see certain things that might look suspicious maybe he is pushing you away sexually because he might freak you out with his likes. Try to find out things by just asking open ended questions and dont ever let things freak you out :).
Also dont say he is gay already, that is a misconception that many people get, if you need more advice just message me. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:24:36 PM | I am so sorry, your boyfriend is not only gay, he is from another planet, that actually prefer to procreate with small green creatures.
Do you really think he's gay!! Come on. In this day an age, any man past 40 more than likely has come out of the closet if they are. Your Bf problem is as you described, low testosterone levels. What that means is that his libido is low. Other than treatments, what he needs to do is activities that promote testosterone increase. You two bike? Well switch to the other type of bike that has no engine. It is also a cardiovascular improvement. Now, you may need to reanalyze your whole sexual experience. Unfortunately most people see sex as just penetration. But if you see sex and set up, foreplay and the penetration, you can have fun on the two previous areas.
Now in the end, your libidos do not have to match, but they have to be close enough to provide enough satisfaction to each other. Otherwise, adios. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:27:33 PM | | I seriously do not demand anything from him. He comes to my house I cook for him and clean up afterward. He sits on my couch watching tv and drinks beer. When we go out to dinner I pay the bill. We go away for the weekend I pay the tab. I also am not really demanding for sex either- at least I don't think I am. I would be happy with 1 or 2 time weekly but I am lucky to get 1-2x monthly. Is that demanding? | |
|
| |
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:30:51 PM | [quite] I seriously do not demand anything from him. He comes to my house I cook for him and clean up afterward. He sits on my couch watching tv and drinks beer. When we go out to dinner I pay the bill. We go away for the weekend I pay the tab. I also am not really demanding for sex either- at least I don't think I am. I would be happy with 1 or 2 time weekly but I am lucky to get 1-2x monthly. Is that demanding?
Snap out of it. Pleease. are you older than he is by 20 years? helllooooo????? | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:33:43 PM |
men are better with the kinky sex more mental play
My wife thought I was gay for ten years for that reason. I was too embarrassed to admit how kinked I was. And I honestly thought I could change, once I got into "regular, normal sex".
Didn't happen, though.
A huge mistake that I'd take it back if I could. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:34:36 PM | Is your boyfriend on SSRI anti-depressants? That will clobber libido. Any other maintenance meds? Is your relationship "stormy"? He might not want sex if you guys recently had an argument. Does he have an injury he hasn't told you about? Maybe some joint pain if he is getting a little older? Sex can be hard on the knees and hips. That can make sex hurt. Same if he has a swollen prostate. Prostate problems can make erection and ejaculation uncomfortable and sometimes the symptoms are not easily tied to the prostate (burning in the urethra during arousal/ejaculation, for example). There could be a lot of reasons.
Have you sat down and talked with him in a loving and supportive way? Maybe suggested that you were concerned about his health?
Oh, and don't worry about being on a dating site. If you guys are not married and if you haven't explicitly agreed to be exclusive, there is nothing in the world wrong with dating. You can date as many as you want. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:35:53 PM | I seriously do not demand anything from him. He comes to my house I cook for him and clean up afterward. He sits on my couch watching tv and drinks beer. When we go out to dinner I pay the bill. We go away for the weekend I pay the tab. I also am not really demanding for sex either- at least I don't think I am. I would be happy with 1 or 2 time weekly but I am lucky to get 1-2x monthly. Is that demanding?
I was right.. you are his mom..
He is a loser and you should have more self respect. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:44:52 PM | Okay I was having fun earlier. There has been some fun threads tonight. :)
YOU do sound like his mommy OP. The only thing I can suggest is YOU make a list of things you enjoy about being with him and things you don't.
Do you enjoy always paying the tab when you go out? Do you enjoy cooking and cleaning up after him while he watches t.v. and drinks beer? Do you enjoy paying the tab when you go away? I have a female friend that dumped a guy like that like the bad habit he was and is to this day. Do you enjoy your sex life together.
Have you said yes once to any of these questions?
Good luck.
I thank you.
ps. Does he prance about in frilly unmentionables? If yes...........gay.
Does he call you a silly savage? Gay.
Oprah and opera. Good chance..............gay.
EDIT below @Broward. Hostility? How is suggesting gay by wearing frilly unmentionables a hostile act? Damnnnnnnnnnn. What is the world coming to? Who the hell said I was normal by the way?
EDIT again: Well. How long were you seperated prior to getting together with this cat? Of course it is nice to be around someone who is not controlling. I hear ya there. Bottom line. Do you see a future together? Is it something you are willing to work at? If yes. Get the hell out of here. If no. Do something about it.
Good luck. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:48:50 PM |
ps. Does he prance about in frilly unmentionables? If yes...........gay.
Not necessarily gay.
Far be it for me to defend transvestites but I've never understood the hostility that they gnerate in "normal" people. I mean, dang, man, it's just some frilly clothes. | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:51:44 PM | | Truthfully no I do not enjoy any of that. He makes me laugh and he does not try to control me- My marriage was one where my husband told me how many times I could breath a minute ( slight exaggeration) it is nice not to have someone telling me what to do and how to live my life. In regards to the frilly underwear question- I put on some very sexy black lingerie and he went in the bathroom and came out with a matching pair of underwear on- does that count? I was somewhat turned off so he hasnt worn them since or anything like them. | |
|
| |
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:04:30 PM | being gay is about sexual orientation ....not frilly underwear...or opera ...or oprah ....thats just laughable.
why would he be with you if he was gay? We don't know enough to give you an opinion. It could be performance anxiety, low libido...etc etc...... but if you have a problem with this...then you need to TALK to him. Once or twice a month aint doing it for ya. So if you ended up living together it will get worse not better. So if you are in love with the guy and envision a future then you have to TALK to him and see if theres a really big problem in this area. Perhaps hes just a once or twice a month kinda guy. Do you love him enough to live with that? | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:08:15 PM | i think you are treating him like your kids tell him to act like a man pay his own way
stop being his mum
he came back to you?he asked you to take him back or was it the other way | |
|
| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:08:51 PM | OMG squirrly. Not you too. It's called humour and I'm glad you got a chuckle. It had the desired effect then. How hot do you get by the way when your fella prances around in his frilly unmentionables for ya? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?
I thank you. | |
|
Home
login 
