| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:42:07 PM | omg.. I would say, RED FLAG...
I have second thought about things too.
now my dating, with one dude, has RED all over it...
time to move on... don't let it upset you, be glad you caught it, before he could dump you..
good luck... some men stay with women, as long as they don't get caught.
RUN WITH THE WIND.  | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:42:13 PM | Wow, those are some harsh words to say...but I do agree that if he's not pleasing you the way you'd like to, then let him go so he can move on to doing what (he's already shown you in so many ways ) he wants to do. It doesn't seem like he wants or needs you, so why be a convenience to him..
Wish you luck, cuz hun, you're gonna need it. Does he know you have a profile on this site? This could be another reason why he's not giving you the time of day, he may think you're getting plenty of sex and attention from the men online. Saying you're separated and looking for men to date, he probably thinks you're cheating on him. Re-word your profile, therefore you wont have people on here slamming you for being on here if your intent is completely opposite of what we are all thinking.  | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:44:16 PM |  That was funny!!! ^5 To you, by George, I think even we got it!!!
Damn Attention cravers!!! | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:48:06 PM | On this topic it is hard to pinpoint as we don't know him. Seriously, we can all assume one thing or another.
I know someone with these same issues and I could tell you my experience, but that does not mean it's true with your boyfriend.
The only answer I could give you is to move on to someone who has it more togther.
You like sex, he does not. You ask him to do little things for you and he gets upset.
Honey, He's Just Not That Into You.
Instead of trying to figure him out go find someone with whom you are compatable with. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:51:24 PM | Gay? Why? Because he has a low sex drive?
But why be with someone that does not make you really really happy? You spent 18 years tied to one man and it did not work out. How many more years of your life do you want to settle for less? He gets angry when you ask him to go to the store? He thinks your too demanding? Believe me there is better out there. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:03:25 PM | Shug, are you sure you aren't dating my ex spouse...
Listen, some men have a LOOOOOOW sex drive, and I am talking very low.
I thought it was me, spent over nine years going bonkers... Got divorced because of a miriad of other things, and the fact of his lack of interest. Been divorced for almost 7 yrs now, and he's happily single, has only had 1 almost serious thing... (lasted 3 mo) and is happy with getting it only a couple times a year... He's told me so...
If there is not interest in sex, then the two of you have a sexual incapatibility, you have to face that and decide if it is worth spending that kind of time feeling frustrated...
LOL, I am really sure you MUST be dating my ex, cause he hated having to do things for me too... If he did go to the store it would take him 4 hours...
In the end he admitted I was a great wife, and deserved to be with someone that was more into marriage than he was...
These guys DON'T have to have anyone else, they just are the way they are, and get MORE resentful when you ask for things from them, that they aren't willing to give...
Good luck... | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:20:46 PM | I am only going to say this because you have too much to give to someone who would love and care for you ----- the guy you mention has too many background issues that he does not want you to know about...I can list them, but I do not want to type all night.....you have listed about ten of them.......
You need to start dating others, you truly have a good heart, but you need to find someone else right away, like soon.... He is not it..... | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:29:44 PM | | Hate to say it hon, but went thru that with a couple of husbands and it only got worse....in the end, they were looking elsewhere and hoped if they were "aloof" enough, I'd get the hint and go away on my own without them having to take responsibility for the breakup. JMO, but if I were you, I'd sit him down with a cup of coffee and ask him flatly....Do you want out of this relationship? If he says no, then tell him some things are gonna have to change, because you are tired of it feeling one-sided. If he doesn't say anything....or yes...then you have your answer. He wants out, or at least is thinkin about it. I hope things work out for you, but no, I don't think he's gay necessarily. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:58:32 PM | | If I sat on the sofa and drank beer all evening , I couldn't have sex either . | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:07:13 PM | had a friend who could be this guy's twin!!!
He is a really nice guy. BUT!
He was molested as a child, and has NEVER dealt with his issues regarding this.
He doesn't even like dirty jokes. They make him sick to his stomach. He was married for 20 yrs to a woman he would not even sleep with. They had separate beds. And she took care of him as though he were one of her children, not her husband. He made good money, but they really led separate lives outside the house.
He truly loved her, but could not come to grips with all that that entailed. She left him and he went crazy. I mean off the DEEP end. It was not a pretty sight.
They did reconcile, but nothing has changed-for her. He seems happy enough.
Your situation sounds very similar to this one. I would say, if you are really invested in this guy, either MAKE him get help, or learn to live with him the way he is. Your love cannot save him, or make him a better man. He is who he is, and unless he WANTS to change, it ain't gonna happen.
Good luck to you dear, I hope you can find some happiness. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:33:28 AM | | Thank you for the candid words. That sounds so much like my boyfriend- He was in an 18 year marriage but has been divorced for 5 years. His marriage was very much as you described your friends. None of this matters anymore- the decision to break up was made for me yesterday. I had minor surgery yesterday and he told me he couldnt bother coming to pick me up and bring me home. That told me everything I need to know-it is time for me to move on and find myself and then someone that actually cares. Thank you all for your advise. It was listened too. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:37:48 AM | OP,
I dont know at which point he turned "sour" but was this discussed at that time or never at all????
I think you need to sit down and analyse if this individual is what you are seeking for in life...
Most importantly you need to let him know how his actions make you feel....
NEITHER, of you are young kids... TIME to re-evaluate what the mutual goal is in this relationship...
Best of luck... | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:40:22 AM |
Not really sure where to start. I am a successful, attractive independent woman and I have been dating this guy for over a year. The problem is I almost have to beg for sex. We only have sex 1-2 times a month and I have to initiate it everytime.
According to many this is how marriage works. This does not happen to people who live together or are boyfriend/girlfriend.  | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:48:28 AM |
Thank you all for your advise. It was listened too.
*Ding Ding Ding*
anudder one fer da books!
Wouldnt pick you up from hospital?!?
R U D E!
find myself and then someone that actually cares.
~beautiful~
*Good Luck* , ~Best of Wishes~ To You
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:06:36 AM | I don't think he is gay.
Sounds like something else.
Unhappy, low sex drive, high stress, etc.
I think you should cut him loose. There are other fish out there that might make you happier. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:14:52 AM | | Gay or not if you are not happy / satisfied end it and move on.. Do you really think it will get better or become great? | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:19:56 AM | Well Biker, HOPEFULLY you will NOT go back when you are feeling alone and Christmas is there, and he comes knocking on your door saying he made a mistake...
It is real easy to do, BUT YOU DO deserve better than he didn't want to be bothered...
Take your time to HEAL, and I don't mean just physically either... I am talking about emotionally... When you do that you are less likely to put up with stuff that will only bring you down.
As well you will be in a better place and frame of mind, and someone worth your time and his will be knocking on your door.
Healthy people avoid unhealthy people... That is just a fact of life...
Take care | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 10:21:05 AM | Biker... Now that you have made the decision to break up with this guy, I hope you will actually give some thought to some of the very good advice that was given to you here. As I read through the thread, I was quite amazed at the insight of some of the responders who encouraged you to look at what you were willing to accept from someone and at the fact that many talked about the fact that you were not dating long enough to get a good grip on the process of selecting a mate that is actually compatible with you.
It's worthy to mention that no mentally healthy person wants someone to be a "fixer" in their lives. "Fixers" tend to get their ego-strokes from contributing to someone's already low self-esteem and the recipient of that feels it keenly. When you do things for others that they can easily do for themselves or you swoop into their lives with your own financial wherewithall and treat people as tho they are incompetent to play on an equal playing field, those people get a strong message that not only do they have problems with their own "adequacy" but you also don't believe that they can be equals.. In other words, your willing to go beyond the actions of a fair partnership actually confirms to them that you share their views that they will not or can not handle life on their own. The recipient of such benevolence often realizes that their "Messiah" is just boosting their own self-esteem with their acts of kindness and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with love and respect. Where this is the case, even a very sexual man may lose his desire and come to resent you deeply for confirming his own suspicions about his own inadequacy.
If you "choose" someone who can match your contributions to a relationship, you may not feel as "needed" as you would like to but you will finally be able to feel "wanted".
Good luck to you... | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 10:40:04 AM | | Wonder if were gona see a post soon that says "could my girlfriend be oversexed" maybe hes just into sex as much as you are, there are some men out there that is like that at it by no means make them gay, how would he feel to know you asked millions of strangers that question about him and yet you never even talked to him about it, maybe thats why he backs off from you, did you ever think about that, communication is the key to any relationship and if you cant talk about this , how can you really be in one. | |
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| Could my boyfriend be gay?
Posted: 12/15/2007 4:28:33 PM | | I said it before, something is up... now I read how you are paying the tab... yep, he has something else going I think, figures you are getting wise and it's affecting his 'performance' so to speak. Stop paying the asses way if he can't at least be good for something. | |
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