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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:38:04 PM | Here you go, a GOLD post by a friend of mine:
I ran this by a giggle of girlfriends who ALL, UNIFORMLY agreed with me - but this ONLY works with REAL friendships... not girls whom you've only befriended because you couldn't get them to sleep with you....
Here goes:
Women want to have fun.
Women love to have sex!
This may include Recreational-Only Sex with MEN THEY KNOW THEY CAN TRUST!
Naturally, anyone they consider truly a friend would fall into that category - BUT NO ONE WANTS TO RISK LOSING A FRIEND!
Therefore most women won't chance beginning a sexual relationship where there is currently a solid friendship.
THEREFORE IT IS ESSENTIAL that the girl understands she absolutely won't lose your friendship either way, and that
YOU ARE OFFERING HER SOMETHING - NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING!
The decision is ALWAYS in her court.
Most women have learned the hard-way that IF they sleep with a guy whom they respect, appreciate, and admire - BUT ARE NOT OVERLY TURNED ON BY - it will end badly, when the guy begins to wish to become their 'Boyfriend'. They will lose their opportunity to be 'Just Friends' with that guy once things sort themselves out, because HIS ego will be bruised and he won't be able to forgive her for the 'rejection' he feels.
IF YOU COMMUNICATE TO A FEMALE FRIEND IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS:
A ) YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN BEING HER BOYFRIEND, nor do you want her as 'your Girlfriend' -- 'cuz while the respect/friendship/admiration is there in abundance, the chemistry isn't a fit - there's no 'Romantic Crush' aspect for how you feel about her - Just true, real, justifiable appreciation, and that's enough!
B ) YOU ARE ALREADY HER FRIEND which makes her much more important and interesting than just someone you'd like to have sex with - and you wouldn't change that for the world; BUT.... You are a boy, and she is a girl, and that's a nice arrangement.
Try saying something like this to her: "You know I would NEVER ****-you-over; ...But I'd gladly **** you over-and-over!"
(I have used this line for a decade with fantastic success - it's light and cute and funny and reassuring, all at once)
C) YOU DEFINATELY DON'T WANT TO INTERFERE WITH HER PURSUIT OF 'MR. RIGHT' nor would you stop persuing and sleeping with other girls... in fact, you'd appreciate any pointers or suggestions which would help your Game, and of course you'll be more than happy to hook her up with new guys you think might suit her...
D) YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE THIS WITH HER - and there's truly no urgency at all - nothing will change between you either way; at least, not negatively ...but you know you'd be a fool not to let her know that you'd enjoy having friendly-fun-without-strings with her, and that she can rely upon you for non-judgemental acceptance.
That last bit, the 'non-judgemental acceptance', is a FANTASTIC OFFER for any woman. It guarantees her the security she craves, and relaxes the fears she may have about her reputation's being damaged by her taking you up on your offer.
REMEMBER, that's what's happening here: YOU ARE OFFERING HER SOMETHING SHE WANTS, and at a price she can afford!
(ie, fun sex with someone who will stick around, be loyal (though not exclusive!) and trustworthy, and IS her friend-for-real.)
My comfort in this Frame, the notion that WOMEN LOVE SEX, and would have lots more of it if they felt confident that their partners weren't going to disappear OR become Cling-ons, is absolute.
One caveat, again - YOU CAN ONLY OFFER THIS IF YOU TRULY WILL REMAIN FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL, EITHER WAY:
She might not immediately accept your offer; she might not agree for months, or until someone she's seeing flakes on her, breaks up with her, or whatever; or maybe NEVER. But if you are SINCERE, and nothing changes either way between you, you will rise in her esteem and SHE WILL consider it, subconciously as well as conciously.
If you are faking, if you change your behaviour towards her once you make the offer, if you are trying to GET HER rather than offer yourself TO HER, she'll sniff it out, and you'll seriously drop in her estimation. Maybe costing you the friendship.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/18/2007 4:16:13 PM | "I'm able to do the f-buddy thing just fine. People who say it doesn't work shouldn't generalize the population as a whole. Not all of us girls are so emotional that we fall in love with everyone we have sex with. "
I don't say it doesn't work, I'm sure it does for some. It's just not something I'm interested in. For me a FWB would be someone to go out with have a good time, minus the sex. And I would have absolutely no problem whatsoever with him dropping me off at home, and going to see the one who justs wants sex. Whatever makes you happy.... | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:13:01 AM | i have also had a #### buddy in the past and beleve it or not it was just the 2 of us involved we had been friends for several years when we both split from our partners .. and as you all know sex is a powerful need at times ....although neather of us wanted to be commeted we both had well an itch that needed scratching from time to time ....and yes we were great friends and totaly honest with each other but gues what i did start wanting more ....and shock horror hi didnt for reasons i dont want to go in too here ....
so long and short of it .....if all you want is to have a quick s##g and nothing more then its more no strings attatched sex you are after .... if that works for you have a great time but play safe ...on the other hand if you are like me hoping to meet and fall in love with someone and that someone fall in love with you stay the hell away from the whole nsa and f##k buddies sean you will only get hurt ...
good luck x | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:14:06 AM | i have also had a #### buddy in the past and beleve it or not it was just the 2 of us involved we had been friends for several years when we both split from our partners .. and as you all know sex is a powerful need at times ....although neather of us wanted to be commeted we both had well an itch that needed scratching from time to time ....and yes we were great friends and totaly honest with each other but gues what i did start wanting more ....and shock horror hi didnt for reasons i dont want to go in too here ....
so long and short of it .....if all you want is to have a quick s##g and nothing more then its more no strings attatched sex you are after .... if that works for you have a great time but play safe ...on the other hand if you are like me hoping to meet and fall in love with someone and that someone fall in love with you stay the hell away from the whole nsa and f##k buddies sean you will only get hurt ...
good luck x | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:46:38 AM | | Disgrace to the decent woman population my opinion only! To each his own..Q. what do you do when other parts of the anatomy need scratching try that its alot safer.... lol lol lol ......... I said my piece... | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/19/2007 11:12:32 AM | HEY THERE :) IS THAT A PUN>? OK OK I WILL BEHAVE... !
BUT YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THE TOPIC OF F BUDDIES BEING A OXYMORON NOT TO MENTION SIMPLY "MORON" HOWEVER, THIS IS ONLY ONE OF THE REASONS WHY THIS WORLD IS GOING TO HELL AND I DID SAY ONLY "ONE" NO MORALS ANYMORE WHAT IS EVEN SCARIER THAN THAT IS THE YOUNGER POPULATION WILL PRODUCE OFFSPRING AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE FUTURE LEADERS OF OUR WORLD .... SOUNDS FARFETCHED??>? YES MAYBE ECCENTRIC THINKING ?????? THAT TOO SOME WHAT ... BUT IT STILL GIVES ME SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT .... | |
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| TO ALL CASUALS OF THE MUFF AND MUFFET CLUB SOME WORDS OF WISDOM
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:48:21 AM | Can Oral Sex Cause Throat Cancer?
Be Safe, Not Sorry
By Edward C. Geehr, M.D.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
In an era of HIV and chastity rings, teenagers and young adults – roughly 75% of them – have turned to oral sex as a “less risky” option. But it’s not safe sex. And while it won’t get you pregnant, it can still get you into big trouble. For the first time ever, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have established a link between oral sex, the human papillomavirus (the same virus that causes cervical cancer) and throat cancer. That adds to a roster of risks already tied to oral sex: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV…
This is scary news for the rising numbers of young people choosing oral sex over intercourse.
One Johns Hopkins professor notes that since 1990, the percentage of male patients at his clinic alone who have had oral sex has risen from 50% to about 75%; for women and girls, from 25% to about 75%.
That’s a huge number exposing themselves to this cancer risk, among other sexually transmitted diseases.
Relatively uncommon, throat cancer is usually associated with smoking and alcohol.
The type linked to the human papillomavirus (HPV) afflicts roughly 11,000 Americans each year, about the same number of new cervical cancer cases.
Throat cancer typically involves the base of the tongue, the tonsils, or the back of the throat.
Because it is so rare among people who don’t drink or smoke, the symptoms – sore throat, swollen glands, or a cold sore – are easy to dismiss, delaying diagnosis and treatment.
The Hazard of HPV
HPV can be found in saliva, urine, semen, and genital secretions.
It is transmitted through sexual, skin-to-skin, and possibly even mouth-to-mouth contact.
Top 10 OB/GYN Questions
For most women, the annual visit to their OB/GYN can lead to more questions than answers. Are you healthy? What is normal? Is the doctor checking ...
more
Symptoms of Ovarian and Cervical Cancer
Cervical cancer is the third most common type of cancer in women, with about 12,000 new diagnoses occurring in the U.S. each year. It is usually a ...
more
Pap Smear Basics
Nearly 13,000 American women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer this year. Getting a regular Pap test is the single most important thing you can ...
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 20 million people are infected with HPV and that 50% of sexually active people will eventually be infected. In the United States alone, some five million new infections occur each year.
In fact, the majority of sexually active people eventually come in contact with HPV.
Fortunately, in most cases the body mounts an immune response that eliminates the virus.
But a small portion of people infected with HPV fail to clear the virus, and a subset of those develop cancer.
Earlier studies have linked HPV with head and neck cancers.
What the present study establishes, however, is the link between certain high-risk sexual behaviors, oral HPV infection and throat cancers, regardless of other risk behaviors such as drinking and smoking.
The particular subtype of HPV that correlates with throat cancer is known as HPV16.
Researchers estimate that about 18% of women and 8% of men (1%-2% of the total population) carry HPV16.
The study examined 100 people with throat cancer and 200 without it for HPV infection and asked questions about their sexual histories.
After adjusting for other factors such as smoking and drinking, the researchers found that participants who tested positive for HPV were 32 times more likely to have throat cancer. And those who had one to five oral sex partners were nearly four times more likely to have cancer compared to those who had not.
People with six or more partners were nearly nine times more likely to develop cancer. And it made no difference if the partners were male or female. (See related article: 11 Things You Should Know About HPV)
Abstinence is the only certain protection from HPV.
Previous studies have demonstrated that consistent condom use can reduce the risk of genital HPV infection. And other studies have shown that infrequent use of condoms with a new oral or vaginal sex partner increased the risk of throat cancer.
Although it’s unclear how effective condoms are for preventing oral cancers, using them to reduce the risk is a very smart move.
HPV screening is now a recommended part of cervical cancer screening.
But how helpful screening for HPV as part of a throat cancer screening might be is unclear: Even if HPV is detected in the cancer, treatment recommendations such as surgery, radiation and chemotherapy remain the same.
Although no vaccine can treat individuals who already carry the HPV virus, the Gardasil vaccine, does protect against contracting the forms of HPV – including HPV16 – that cause cervical cancer.
But no studies have been done testing the vaccine’s protection against throat cancer.
Moreover, a recent editorial in the New England Journal of Medicine has questioned the effectiveness of the vaccine at preventing precancerous lesions.
But if vaccination proves to be as effective in preventing oral HPV16 infection as it has in preventing cervical cancer, it may be possible to reduce the incidence of throat cancers.
Condoms may help to reduce risk but offer no certain immunity from infection.
To protect yourself, treat oral sex with the same caution as other forms of sexual contact. Oral sex is not safe sex.
Are You at Risk for Oral Cancer from HPV?
The recent buzz about sexually transmitted infections has been about the human papillomavirus (HPV) and its link to cervical cancer. But that's not the only worry you should have about this virus. According to a 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, HPV can cause oral cancer, too. Are you at risk? Take this oral cancer quiz to find out.
The information contained on www.lifescript.com (the "Site") is provided for informational purposes only and is not meant to substitute for advice from your doctor or healthcare professional. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition. Information and statements provided by the site about dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. LifeScript does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, third-party products, procedures, opinions, or other information mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by LifeScript is solely at your own risk. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:58:05 AM | Can Oral Sex Cause Throat Cancer?
Be Safe, Not Sorry
By Edward C. Geehr, M.D.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
In an era of HIV and chastity rings, teenagers and young adults – roughly 75% of them – have turned to oral sex as a “less risky” option. But it’s not safe sex. And while it won’t get you pregnant, it can still get you into big trouble. For the first time ever, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have established a link between oral sex, the human papillomavirus (the same virus that causes cervical cancer) and throat cancer. That adds to a roster of risks already tied to oral sex: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV…
This is scary news for the rising numbers of young people choosing oral sex over intercourse.
One Johns Hopkins professor notes that since 1990, the percentage of male patients at his clinic alone who have had oral sex has risen from 50% to about 75%; for women and girls, from 25% to about 75%.
That’s a huge number exposing themselves to this cancer risk, among other sexually transmitted diseases.
Relatively uncommon, throat cancer is usually associated with smoking and alcohol.
The type linked to the human papillomavirus (HPV) afflicts roughly 11,000 Americans each year, about the same number of new cervical cancer cases.
Throat cancer typically involves the base of the tongue, the tonsils, or the back of the throat.
Because it is so rare among people who don’t drink or smoke, the symptoms – sore throat, swollen glands, or a cold sore – are easy to dismiss, delaying diagnosis and treatment.
The Hazard of HPV
HPV can be found in saliva, urine, semen, and genital secretions.
It is transmitted through sexual, skin-to-skin, and possibly even mouth-to-mouth contact.
Top 10 OB/GYN Questions
For most women, the annual visit to their OB/GYN can lead to more questions than answers. Are you healthy? What is normal? Is the doctor checking ...
more
Symptoms of Ovarian and Cervical Cancer
Cervical cancer is the third most common type of cancer in women, with about 12,000 new diagnoses occurring in the U.S. each year. It is usually a ...
more
Pap Smear Basics
Nearly 13,000 American women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer this year. Getting a regular Pap test is the single most important thing you can ...
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 20 million people are infected with HPV and that 50% of sexually active people will eventually be infected. In the United States alone, some five million new infections occur each year.
In fact, the majority of sexually active people eventually come in contact with HPV.
Fortunately, in most cases the body mounts an immune response that eliminates the virus.
But a small portion of people infected with HPV fail to clear the virus, and a subset of those develop cancer.
Earlier studies have linked HPV with head and neck cancers.
What the present study establishes, however, is the link between certain high-risk sexual behaviors, oral HPV infection and throat cancers, regardless of other risk behaviors such as drinking and smoking.
The particular subtype of HPV that correlates with throat cancer is known as HPV16.
Researchers estimate that about 18% of women and 8% of men (1%-2% of the total population) carry HPV16.
The study examined 100 people with throat cancer and 200 without it for HPV infection and asked questions about their sexual histories.
After adjusting for other factors such as smoking and drinking, the researchers found that participants who tested positive for HPV were 32 times more likely to have throat cancer. And those who had one to five oral sex partners were nearly four times more likely to have cancer compared to those who had not.
People with six or more partners were nearly nine times more likely to develop cancer. And it made no difference if the partners were male or female. (See related article: 11 Things You Should Know About HPV)
Abstinence is the only certain protection from HPV.
Previous studies have demonstrated that consistent condom use can reduce the risk of genital HPV infection. And other studies have shown that infrequent use of condoms with a new oral or vaginal sex partner increased the risk of throat cancer.
Although it’s unclear how effective condoms are for preventing oral cancers, using them to reduce the risk is a very smart move.
HPV screening is now a recommended part of cervical cancer screening.
But how helpful screening for HPV as part of a throat cancer screening might be is unclear: Even if HPV is detected in the cancer, treatment recommendations such as surgery, radiation and chemotherapy remain the same.
Although no vaccine can treat individuals who already carry the HPV virus, the Gardasil vaccine, does protect against contracting the forms of HPV – including HPV16 – that cause cervical cancer.
But no studies have been done testing the vaccine’s protection against throat cancer.
Moreover, a recent editorial in the New England Journal of Medicine has questioned the effectiveness of the vaccine at preventing precancerous lesions.
But if vaccination proves to be as effective in preventing oral HPV16 infection as it has in preventing cervical cancer, it may be possible to reduce the incidence of throat cancers.
Condoms may help to reduce risk but offer no certain immunity from infection.
To protect yourself, treat oral sex with the same caution as other forms of sexual contact. Oral sex is not safe sex.
Are You at Risk for Oral Cancer from HPV?
The recent buzz about sexually transmitted infections has been about the human papillomavirus (HPV) and its link to cervical cancer. But that's not the only worry you should have about this virus. According to a 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, HPV can cause oral cancer, too. Are you at risk? Take this oral cancer quiz to find out.
The information contained on www.lifescript.com (the "Site") is provided for informational purposes only and is not meant to substitute for advice from your doctor or healthcare professional. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition. Information and statements provided by the site about dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. LifeScript does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, third-party products, procedures, opinions, or other information mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by LifeScript is solely at your own risk | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/20/2007 2:17:00 PM | You might think you want that kind of relationship, but you might not be able to handle it. Having a f*ck buddy is not for everyone. Sometimes one person gets too attached and then things get really messy.
If you can honestly enjoy your partner's company and not get attached in a relationship kind of way, then go for it. I think a lot of people end up being f*ck buddies when they both clearly know that they can not have an intimate relationship but are good together sexually. Having a f*ck buddy relationship will not help you get over your trust issues and you seem to be someone that wants an intimate and serious relationship, so I think you should work on gaining trust in woman again. Although you were hurt in the past, there are some good woman out there that will not hurt you.
Happy Fishing.
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/20/2007 4:49:17 PM | | Sounds to me like you have to improve your choices in women. You made a few bad choices all in a row. It ain`t the women my friend, it is the women YOU are choosing.... | |
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Tim_W
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Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 63 | |
| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:26:18 AM | Good comments made; My jobsworth on this one is fairly simple. It's to do with society and what is accepted as the norm and what isn't.
Take for example drugs, these were the acceptable norm, there has been varying opinion as to the outcome and affect drugs has on society, some people think it's ok some not. To say either one person is right, or wrong is would be too judgemental. You have holland that has legalised the stuff.
Then we come to sex. Sex works on so many levels, in loving relationships, for fun and it drives us and the way we behave because we're animals in effect, or descended. Like it or not, it's coded into our dna to reproduce. You then have the church putting values around sex and what is right or wrong. They went one step further to say contraception is wrong, yet how many lives would it save with AIDS rife in Africa. So now society has come to say having sex but not in a relationship is wrong ? Why ? Everyone has physical needs, again because we are human. To deny yourself sex is fine, but to say it's morally wrong to have something that meets and fufils your needs why is that so wrong. If you're not in a relationship, who are you hurting ?
relationships, dating, love and marriage are all good and to be celebrated, better though if you want sex and fufilment physically to be upfront and honest. However, like the church, people are all too willing to judge, or be judgemental and well I say isn't the world we live in a free society to choose to do the things we want, how we want, where we want. for all those against **** buddies and those who find it abhorent, well let me ask you this, are there things you do, that other people may find distastful, yet they don't judge you. Why ? Because if it's legal you have the right to do it without being judged. That is the society I choose and will always vote to live in.
I find people who read those gossip magazines idiots. A it's not true, secondly, you're indirectly invading someones privacy to have a quick read and a gossip about someones life and that is a complete invasion of privacy.
So to say I'm sure I'd be right in saying that those you object to peoples right to shag wih no strings, or not are probably the hipocrits themselves, they may not freely want to admit it. But if we examined their lives I'm sure we'd find something they find normal, that we'd find objectionable.
Thanks for posting this. Too many righteous people in this world. Nothing wrong with being righteous and moral,but don't have to preach your views to other people.
Tim | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:59:54 AM | If you want a casual relationship go for it....However I hope you wont ****, whine and moan about your ex's...Casual hates that more than serious.
It sounds like you have been burned, and havent stopped and ascessed WHY.
Generally when it happens over and over you are the one allowing it. So you are writing off all serious relationships and "faith and trust in others" based on your past screw ups.
Slow down and rethink the past relationships...Then hopefully you can start fresh. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 1:25:21 PM | I've posted my approval of FWB in previous threads. One thing that never seems to get through is that, in my experience, you don't just ask someone if they want this kind of relationship. For me it is something that has just evolved. After seeing each other a few times, you realize that a LTR is not in the picture.....but you have mutual attraction, respect, etc. There is caring on the parts of both people...just not strings, exclusivity, etc.
Since posting that I was happy with such a relationship, fellow POFers emailed wanting such a relationship. They did not understand that there had to be the friendship part up front.
I suppose every person is different.....and to someone young, that hasn't had a husband/wife and all that goes with it......I would not suggest "settling". I would, however, suggest an open mind. If your experience with the opposite sex is limited......gain that experience somewhere so that you truly know what you want.
Most of all...to thine on self be true.!!!
Becca | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 1:54:58 PM | It sounds like you need to look within for solutions to your problems rather than looking outside for a quick fix.
=========================
Excuse me!
Talk about the blame game!
HE'S the one who's been lied to and stolen from. And you are trying to make it look as if he's responsible! He didn't ASK to be cheated on.
We live in a sick society where cheating on romance partners is even more socially acceptable than cheating on business partners. It's society which needs a good change. Not him.
And don't preach to me that you can't change society and he should ge over it. Plenty of people preached that kindof drivel to Dr Martin Luther Kng and he had the sense to ignore it. Adn society DID change. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:11:49 PM | Maybe, but taking time out just makes me worse. I get more lonely & depressed that ALL of my mates have partners and are enjoying life. Have to think about that.
So, if all your mates were jumping off cliffs and seemed to be enjoying it,would you do the same? Given that their parachutes are functional and yours is not, at the moment?
Always trying, but few women want to be my mates - they always seem to assume that I want a one night stand - something that I detest the very idea of BTW, hence why "taking time out & enjoying yourself" never works for me. I don't go for the whole "random hookup to get satisfied" thing. Also why I would never even consider a hooker.... besides the whole "legality" issue.....
You are probably trying too hard,and coming off as trying to sweep a girl out of her pants,RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry, but that "3 bad women in a row", that bothers me. Something's clouding your judgement, or are you just painting them as "bad" because that's the only way you can cope with the fact that the relationship failed?
I don't go for the whole "random hookup to get satisfied" thing. Also why I would never even consider a hooker.... besides the whole "legality" issue
So say hi to Mrs Palm and her lovely daughters.
Look, this whole "must be paired up" thing was relevant when a person alone was a snack for the nearest sabre tooth tiger. It's still the best way to go for raising kids, IMHO. But having a mate and/or being a member of a pack is no longer a matter of survival. If you are going around hating being alone and totally focused on finding someone to be with, you are not only at greater risk of making bad decisions, you TELEGRAPH that anxiety and trust me it's a freaking magnet for people with agendas( this goes for BOTH sexes)
Bottom line? FWB or other "casual sex" relationships are fine for the emotionally healthy person who just can't do a fullfledged relationship at that point in time, or to take some of the sexual tension off, if you tend to make bad decisions or screw up potentially good involvements because the hormone inmates have taken over the asylum. You MIGHT be in that 2nd category but right now I think you need to work on figuring yourself out first.
Cindy O | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:31:49 PM | [THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS MALE WHORES TOO !!!!!]quote from LAURIEANNLUV
From what I can tell we should remove the word whore from the language. It offends too many people. People find it judgemental and hypocritical. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 3:13:07 PM | School is really out on traditional relationships once you hit 50. Baby boomers are just starting to write the new set of rules of life's third chapter. Most relationships are not likely to go to marriage and because the kid thing is behind - there isn't a need to find that ideal mate for procreation. You don't have to 'meld' your lives together. No need to share every percise moment together - you just need to wanna hang and talk and share.
Truth is that guys over 50 are usually motivated by companionship more that getting their rocks off. (whether its admitted to or not) And most of the women over 40 I date don't really want to get married again - although many have that delusion. "It clouds illusions I recall; I really don't know love at all" -didn't Joni Mitchell say that?
Casual relationship are REALLY the best thing in that set of facts. No mater what society and old world custom tells us. So lets face facts and get on with life.
Its high time someone right the correct manners and mores for the casual relationship and I suggest it start with rule number one - don't be crude - don't call your playmate a '**** buddy' unless she's got the sensibilities of a truck drive on meth. Rule number one might just be kindness. | |
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mwp
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Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 70 | |
| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 3:30:45 PM | | hi ,there .I live on the island ,keep myself in shape,play soccer,go to the gym.Have dark brown hair,brown eyes,511 200 lbs.I do not want to post pic.Would like to meet have a nice meal a walk,and of coarse I would love to pleasure you and myself...hope to hear back from you,,,mark | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 3:53:04 PM | knew a guy who had at least 500 partners, he even managed to get very drunk and boast about it to me and some friends in front of his wife, she thought he was exaggerating, the open mouth and look of utter shock on her face let everyone know it was a good time to have a chat outside....
as for fck buddy, been there and done it. short term fun, but prefer longer term relationship
MWP needs to make his own post or post a picture or two :) | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:14:57 PM |
but you also know that this is not someone you would have a long term relationship with. this fact must be very clear in your mind. when you get together, you have a nice time, share a meal, some wine and of course sex.
it is not a long term arrangement by any means, it is not exclusive and there are no expectations, but it provides some romantic nourishment, some comfort and takes the 'edge' off. and you have fun!who, due to needing time to figure a few things out, is not ready for a relationship.
You not lying sister,
I've only been on the net for a short time and had a rude awaking for the services to be rendered for fwb.
I'm a one woman man ,not promiscuous and have no issues with whatever ones lifestyles is but I prefer to be with that s/o instead of being the other.
I did go out with a fwb once and your right in they needed to have a few things to figure out. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/30/2007 12:07:19 AM | | I've found that time without a partner has given me the strength to admit to what I do want from my next partner, and with that knowledge I'm able to withstand the pressure to give in to getting involved in a bad relationship. Do what ya gotta do, but make sure that your head is in a good place before you make rash decisions. | |
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| Fuck Buddies/Casual Relationships: Advice Please
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:30:30 AM |
buddies are what some people settle for, when they think that is all they can get, or all they deserve.
Violet T, Yes, I see your point,
As they say,'birds of a feather.flock together'
I have no problem in whatever lifestyles one choses,
I'm not a playboy or the Jose Canseco types, hahaha!
I'm a bit old school and enjoy the mono relationship with one woman.
imo | |
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