| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:23:56 AM |
If you don't like something we do, tell us instead of holding it back and allowing us to think you don't have a spine!
RIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!! Whatever you say.....DEAR....
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:15:38 AM |
Actually, "Alpha Males" ARE myths. And more farcically fictitious still, are those who proclaim to be one.
Really???????? there are "only" 400000+ articals on Google about alpha males, which makes you either delusional or a real ding-dong, BUT, you are NO excogitator.It seems to me that you are completely and utterly clueless about women and alpha males. With NO practical experience to speak of. Before you want to go into a debate you DO want to do your homework.
Some would rather contribute to the illusion of not having a spine, if it's detrimental in any way to the extraction of it. That is how the OMEGA males talk. Alpha males would say COME AND GET IT. I would advise against it, there is a price to be paid, so unless you willing to pay it,roll back the attitude.
Do women REALLY want an ALPHA MALE to give them a reality check?I doubt that, but here is what it may look like. How much character typical women actually have?Most guys already know.It is not really a subject of debate.Morality also drops about 10 floors, if they think nobody is watching. Let's do a lie detector test that EVEN nuns could not pass, let alone the typical woman.
Armed with all the factual information, that could be difficult to get any type of respect from men.May not even want to leave the house for the next few months. Looking at this, a guy who actually want to please you, is probably a better option, then the one who is more then capable to give a little lesson on the realities of life.I assure you about one thing, you won't feel like a princess.YOU DO WANT TO THINK TWICE, WHAT YOU WISH FOR. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:43:33 AM | I know what the OP is talking about here, earlier this year a friend I was dating got pissed that I "did not mind" what we did, there may have been 2 or 3 choices and all were equally appealing to me so I was happy to let her choose. She hated this, and I promptly told her that when something stood out head and shoulders above the rest she would know about it.
She began to think I was easy going, which I am, UNTIL, there is something that really holds my attention, then I will head for that with all gusto. Very few of these things came up in the beginning of our friendship, and now she sees me in a different light as there is a lot in the world I am passionate about and will put before all else.
Basically lads what the OP is saying you have to have the balls to stand up and say
" This is me and this is what I like, what to join me , no OK when can we meet up next ? "
That is what I am getting from the OP. I want someone who is my equal, and She will want the same. Someone who is passionate about the things they enjoy and will go off and do them when they have the opportunity, while invite his/her date to join them. And will do these "events" regardless of whether their partner attends, and will enjoy the time they spend together even more because they can be them selves etc etc
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:57:48 AM |
ok then euro,do you agree with my last post?
Oh, HELL yeah. The consensus amongst women that they want to hear what men really think. ARE YOU F.ING KIDDING ME?When most women can't even handle an Honest answer to That "Do I look Fat"? or Do you like my dress? or Should I lose weight?.etc From a man point of view, these are rather superficial questions, which will net them sleeping on the couch, UNLESS they creative in telling fibs. EVEN DR.PHIL concures that those fibs are survival skills in relationships.
Which is not saying much, about how much or how well women can handle the TRUTH. Do women REALLY want to hear a guy telling them the truth about their "performance" in the bedroom? Or they apperent lack of logic on a variety of things.
Such as "prefer not to say" given the other options avaliable, it usually means yes or no, but instead of the straight answer, they opt for the one that omits or deceives.AND the very same people insist on Honesty, and they don't actually see a problem with that paradox or contadiction.    | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 2:21:05 AM | I do .......as I my hand caressess the curve ....
....of a new Corvette.  
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 2:44:30 AM | Oh, I know I'm gonna get shot down for this...
Stop looking for alpha males. You have it backwards. Let me explain.
Men, generally speaking, are less detail-oriented except when it comes to things they’re really into. They are more positive and open to choices in that they do not see Thai food vs Indian food, they see dinner. So the answer to the question “Do you want Thai or Indian,” the proper answer is “Yes.”
For an alpha male, decisions about what foreign restaurant to go to, or whether he prefers the blue dress or the green one, are completely beneath his notice. He’s a CEO and you’re a mail clerk asking if he wants his envelopes printed in blue or black ink. He does not give a damn.
My sister is an administrative assistant for Merrill Lynch execs. She books flights, hotels, restaurants, entertainment. The execs don't care where they go, just so long as the standards are suitably high enough for their thousand-dollar suits and 7-figure incomes.
What you want, actually, is a man who is “girly” enough to have and express a preference for Thai over Indian or vice versa. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 2:53:02 AM | why is it that you lose yourself when it comes to women? Being a door mat and doing whatever the girl wants is not attractive! Being a yes dear, no dear kinda guy is not attractive! Be a man! Speak your thoughts.
What ever happened to the Alpha Male?
So much misunderstanding on this thread!
Freude’s Personal Dictionary:
Alpha Male = Wannabe
"Nice Guy" = Wannabe
Pity about introducing the concept of "Alpha Male" OP - especially without giving us your definition of one.
This whole area is not at all gender related - it is about human authenticity. An authentic and real person is most interesting and appealing. You cannot possibly be who you are if you don't know who you are and therein lies the problem with male & female doormats!
Doormats and “pleasers” are not being nice at all; their performance is not about giving to another but rather about getting something for themselves - securing something/someone for their own benefit. Their “niceness” is extremely unattractive because it is not authentic and this lack of authenticity is extremely unattractive.
Being one’s true self is beautiful whether you happen to be the emotional, sensitive type or well… the less emotional sensitive type. Being totally yourself will attract the “right” person for YOU!
Many so called Alpha Males are no different from the wussies in that most often neither type are authentic human beings! | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 3:26:03 AM | I have to say that I am someone who has repeatedly told ladies when and how they are full of sh!t, and I can tell you that it doesn't win many popularity contests.
I was reading this thread and I wonder how much of this debate depends on socio-economic factors.
For example OP, let's face it... you live in the Yukon. Chances are any potential mate needs to be theoretically able to kill a bear (only in self defense - they're endangered). You want to feel muscles- why? Evolution is a tricky thing. Do women really need someone to take down a mastodon to feed the village? Bill Gates, the richest man in the world and therefore an Alpha Male, probably would've been the kind of guy that turns your stomache.
Your supporters on this thread seem to fall into 3 categories:
1. Rural ladies
2. "Mature" ladies
3. Guys who don't think much of women.
Your detractors seem to be:
1. Educated women from major urban centres
2. Sensitive men
Also, being from a rural area like the Yukon, perhaps the competion for available females is so fierce that its making the local guys spaz out from under the pressure. You could probably understand that. You might feel more anxious about dating if there were only a dozen single men in a town of mostly women. Worse if you already burnt your bridges with half of them.
Food for thought. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 7:10:37 AM | You are such a kind man...letting your new date shovel YOUR driveway for you. And what would you be doing for her that warrents such behaviour?
What if I like your conditioner better then mine and it smells great...wouldn't you want me to have nice soft hair just like yours to run your fingers through? | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 7:21:01 AM | Haha - Congratulations, guys! Sounds like you have it all figured out. I am sure you have found a foolproof and consistent approach! 
OP, there's just a little something I have to ask ... 
you are amazing creatures
Is your dissatisfaction with how men turn out "when you start to date them"
Being a yes dear, no dear kinda guy is not attractive!
in alignment with a 28 day cycle?  | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 7:34:05 AM |
Ok, I needed to get this off my chest. Thanks.
just curious if you went down a cup size...
love...alpha/omega male | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:06:20 AM | Um.. stop dating these men if they bother you so much. I avoid them, too. It works. This whole "yes man" issue comes up rather fast when you're just starting out, so there's really no excuse to continue as soon as it rears it's ugly head.
I dunno why so many women seem to think they can't "be pleased" by a guy with a spine. The spineless pander to every whim you have. Those with a spine do things for you because they WANT TO or just think you'd enjoy it. The main difference between the two is one is in constant fear of losing you and your respect.. the other isn't.
Can you guess which is which?
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 65 | |
| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:20:45 AM | AW So the little cutie is tired of picking sissies for boyfriends, not good at all, LMAO
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:22:06 AM | | I hear you. I was dating this guy, and I really really wanted it to work. For starters I was able to trust him, because he absoultly adored me...He was thoughtful, flowers, notes, presents for the hell of it.... What was the problem then right, well he broded (spelled wrong) over everything... Although he seemed like the perfect guy, he often would talk about how he was in a funk. Always complained about his job....i some how always hit one of his trigger points, and made him feel bad about himself....I felt more like his mommy then his girlfriend.... He fought with me like I was his parent.... I tried so hard to say and do the right thing as to not to ruffle his feathers....Things would be great if real life issues didn't get in the way... | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:53:57 AM | | me being an ex wannabe,i have to concur with you.do you know what removed those insecurities??having children and the learning how to relate to the needs of a good women just for the sake of wanting her to feel good.i felt more like a man when i fell in love and cared for those that cared for me.now i dont mind missing the,i love going shopping with my best friend,aka girl that i love.i am constently asking her how she is feeling,and try my best to help her anyway i can.i am far more a man now then i ever was when i was a wannabe. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:18:05 PM | Okay, so the moral of this thread is: no matter what you do, you're probably wrong.
We did however get to learn that real alpha males love using the bold tag. It's bold, so you know what they're saying is really important - much more than those spineless doormats who only use standard-weight text!
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:19:48 PM | So the spineless are the regular-text-using-a$$holes and the Alpha Males are the bold-text using a$$holes?
OK.
Glad we got that sorted.
/sarcasm | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:34:54 PM | fruedes post#60 says something. Be genuine.
Yes, guys/girls act and treat their partner differently in the beginning of a relationship than they treat their friends and most likely a little differently than after the realtionship is more defined. Pretending its not true won't change it. It doesn't have to be "losing yourself" if you are open to things in a new relationship that you would not consider on your own. Just don't go so far to the extreme that your actions don't reflect who you really are. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 2:44:02 PM | Hey Ggirl101...I know exactly what you are talking about with your original post.....and from what my female friends relate to me, it is a somewhat big issue they have with many men these days.....aka girlie men........ but fear not..... there are a few of us real men around in this day and age........ too bad we live so far apart ......
Peace | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 2:50:24 PM | Yes OP. Anythng you say OP. I promise not to be girlie OP.
Pweez don't hurt me I is a wussy, OP.
Puts hands on hips and pouts while fluttering eyelids. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 3:11:56 PM | | I believe in being polite to everyone and treating people the same way I want to be treated until I am provoked then the gloves come off.Seems to me some of you are confusing manners with being weak which tells me you still have alot to learn.If you don't like the guy get a new one and stop all the whining. | |
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:07:35 PM | Many more intriguing posts have inveigled me back.
And all the 'ALPHA MALES' that claim to be alpha males, you're not. You're just wannabe's that use your insecurities to cover up your lack of masculinity. Intelligent women see right thru your type and wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole!
You mean the intelligent type that CAN decipher so called "$5 words"?
I'm glad you agree with me though - like I said, myth.
Alpha males would say COME AND GET IT.
The battle cry of fools who rush headlong into bankruptcy due to alimony. Alpha Buffoons, maybe - "Come and get my money" more likely. :drinking:
Ggirl, it's interesting to know I make you warm in all the right places, but your twitterpation (a word so expensive, the dictionary couldn't afford it) won't last very long when you realize I'm just a guy, like all the others. Besides, I'm quite dour in person (a step up from door-MAT?), and what will you do when I choose not entertain you with my OWN trains of thought?
Doormats and “pleasers” are not being nice at all; their performance is not about giving to another but rather about getting something for themselves - securing something/someone for their own benefit. Their “niceness” is extremely unattractive because it is not authentic and this lack of authenticity is extremely unattractive.
So, you're saying that there can't, by definition, be any authentically nice "people pleasers"? Perhaps their genuine sensitivity, embedded with empathy, pick up others' distressful melancholy and/or compunctionate contrition, causing them to instinctively respond with compassionate niceness. Now how is that selfish? There is such a thing as considerate courteousness - People castigating and/or ostracizing others for that type of thoughtfulness is... almost barbaric. Where's the civility?
"Treat others how you'd like to be treated" is an egocentric ruse - instead, be a self-serving a$$hole, and you'll stand a better chance getting weak-willed women: this is the message you're putting out. It's too bad (for) the nice/girlie/spineless/etc guys talked about here, (that) have consciences which make them draw lines between socially acceptable and morally acceptable, then abide by them - you should be ashamed to mock manners and to dupe politeness.
You admonish the OP for not having a clear connotation of "Alpha Males", then turn around and blunder on about "Doormats". So when is kindness bona fide and when is it not? Instead of trying to figure out if there are any ulterior motives, why not simply appreciate the gesture (and save headaches all around)? If a guy is willing to be nice to you, why not accept it? Obviously, these all depend on any particular individual's subjective definition of "Doormat" (to me, it's something women buy at department stores). It would be "nice" however, if you at least offered some elucidation to YOUR terminology, especially if you expect anyone to buy these wild speculations.
Lucky for you, Msg 66 finished your thought, but with more effluent eloquence:
I dunno why so many women seem to think they can't "be pleased" by a guy with a spine. The spineless pander to every whim you have. Those with a spine do things for you because they WANT TO or just think you'd enjoy it. The main difference between the two is one is in constant fear of losing you and your respect.. the other isn't.
Still though, it's sad to think that some women (and men) really hold "being human, fears and all" against giving someone a chance. Would it take too much of their oh so precious energy to... I don't know, COMFORT their dates (or whatever it is they are we're talking about when we say "begin to fall in love") (which by the way is just as vague as everything else mentioned here, since love isn't so planned for some, and can hit you like a ton of cotton balls compressed so densely as to resemble a brick) instead of being "weirded out" or indifferent to them with plans of dropping them like a hot potato at the first sign that they may need to actually emotionally contribute to the relationship themselves? Who were the egoists again?
Thank you Msg 68, for sharing one of the most valid viewpoints: " Things would be great if real life issues didn't get in the way...". And therein lies the problem doesn't it - Perfection is but a notion. It all comes down to what you're willing to do to make things work (like say, being nice to someone or choosing not to suspect every act as finagling, just to throw a couple out there), if you're willing at all. I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone who "seemed like the perfect guy", because he shared his feelings with you - I can't for the love of me fathom anyone actually wanting a perfect mate and best friend in one, who'd not only talk to you, but share their feelings with you too. :laugh:
Finally, and before I get the ladies too enamored by my charming diplomacy - or verbosity, I'll close by saying that Post 43 makes some very concise points thus far unchallenged, and I don't wonder why - Kudos. Though I imagine his apathy toward constantly performing on the tightrope (or whatever) for women is what brings him here like the rest of the guys who don't get any because they get it.
Later alligators.
- Your Excogitator
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| When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/15/2007 11:39:30 PM | | Ggirl spoke divine words. I'm so attracted to the Alpha male type, but can't find a man with enough...um, "courage" to handle me. I'm a spitfire and I need taming every now and then, but all I can find is the pansies. Nothings wrong at all with treating a woman like a princess, and agreeing to get us to shut up sometimes, but sheesh, don't let her run over you. Say your piece! That'll turn me off faster than anything, if you can stand up to me, consider yourself one of a dying breed and send me a shout! | |
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