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 Artistee
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 76
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Does free spirit mean irresponsible?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?

Actually it can, in some cases...It depends upon the individual...
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 77
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 3:30:49 PM
Let me try to bring some clarity to this:

I was recently involved with someone who called themselves a "free spirit," as the adopted big brother figure in her life (her words). Essentially, she was constantly "going with the flow" and just doing whatever she felt like--up to the point where she dumped one girl only to jump into bed (figuratively and literally) with another the very next day. Within two weeks, I was hearing about how awesome this new girl was, and how she was different, and how my "friend" was head over heels for her. Meanwhile, her friendship with me was being sorely neglected.

When I called her on it, she promised she'd do better, twice--only to admit to me later that that promise was hollow because she had someone new in her life. Then, after I had held her hand through three breakups and was basically a true and adult friend (I'm 26, she 21), when I was in need, she simply left me hanging.

What's more galling to me is this: the day of her 21st birthday, not only did I take her out for lunch, but that night I also took her to dinner, and in the process (at her request), I got her together with her ex, and got the two of them back on speaking terms. That was a Monday. Then, Wednesday night, I asked to see her the next day because there was something important I needed to talk to her about, she excused herself from what I wanted because "I hung out with him twice on Monday."

Then, she decided she didn't want to be friends anymore, because she said she didn't think she could meet my standards ("not even close"), and that thinking about it stressed her out. She also said she knew I would never support her latest relationship, nor would I support her lifestyle.

In short, she's very outgoing and easy to get along with, but when it came right down to it, she was better at accepting the help and goodwill of others than she was at reciprocating. A free spirit will tell you what you want to hear, they'll make promises, but in the end their word is worth nothing--they'll do whatever they darn well please, regardless of the impact their actions have on others. She promised me I could count on her and that when I needed her she'd be there, but when the time came that promise was worthless.

The point is, dear readers, if you sense that someone's a free spirit, don't trust them, don't depend on them, don't even become involved with them. Ultimately, they'll let you down and won't be worth the effort.
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 78
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 3:31:48 PM
(In short, yes..."free spirit" does indeed mean "highly irresponsible," along with "grossly undependable.")
 Cathysaint
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 79
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Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 3:33:31 PM
I love the free spirit nature, Its like the song Ruby Tuesday
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 80
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Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 4:21:43 PM
Free spirit does not necessarily mean irresponsible. It could just mean that we free spirits don't care to be responsible for others. We take care of our own business and do what we please. Not all of us have family ties and obligations. Or maybe we had them in the past and did the responsible things and are now in a different stage of life and can AFFORD to be FREE SPIRITS.
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 81
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 4:48:10 PM
The lack of responsibility to others is indeed the very definition of irresponsibility.

I'm extremely loyal to those I call "friend" and would sooner eat Brussels sprouts (which I utterly despise!) than make a promise I had no intention of keeping, especially if I was making it to someone who was in need.

I'm sorry, but anyone who would do something like that is irresponsible. Plain and simple.
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 82
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 4:51:46 PM
Further, in my experience, "not wanting to be responsible for others" is a euphemism for "not wanting to take responsibility for the consequences of one's own actions." It's called being shallow and superficial; if you're not responsible for anyone else, you're not responsible for the consequences of your own actions.

I defy anyone to disagree with that with a straight face.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 83
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Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:03:58 PM
I don't understand how not wanting to be responsible for others translates into not taking responsibility for one's own life. I keep promises made to friends and family, pay my bills on time, send birthday cards, etc.

We all have to assume responsibility for our own selves. No one can do it for us. Why should 'free spirit' be a pejorative term?
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 84
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:09:30 PM
free spirited definitely means irresponsible.

if you want girls like that then you are gonna have a migraine
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 85
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:59:55 PM
"Free spirit" shouldn't be a pejorative term--but it is, because free spirited people make it that way.

You keep promises to family and send birthday cards and such--great. That's the bare minimum that would be expected of anyone over the age of 12. The problem comes from people who either refuse or lack the acumen to sense and respond to the feelings of others.

Let me illustrate:

I consider myself a very responsible person with a lot of depth. Someone I care about is having life issues. My responsibility to them dictates that I check on them regularly and offer my assistance--in whatever form may be needed--to help them solve their problem. That's what a good friend does.

A free spirit, on the other hand, nine times out of ten will do this instead. They'll be so caught up in themselves that they won't notice the other person is having an issue. If they do--and that's a big if--they won't take the proactive steps and try to help. If approached for help, they'll try to take the easy way out, turning to their social lives without offering any substantive assistance. If you call them on it, they'll say you're demanding too much and will jettison you like yesterday's trash.

I've seen it happen. Free spirited people have done it to me. They don't care about others, their first loyalty is to funseeking behavior (meaning social life and love life), to the expense of all else.

I'll allow that the person who did it to me recently is a freshly minted 21-year-old, but that no more excuses her bad behavior than does the fact that she's a lesbian--at the end of the day, no matter how it was sugarcoated, she made a promise to me, twice, to have my back during a difficult time, but then decided that pursuing her love life was more important than helping her adopted big brother with real-life problems, and what's more had the audacity to say to me that she was "dependable, just not by your definition."

In no logical world is that dependability, by any accepted definition, and in no logical world is this sort of behavior acceptable.

Once again, I defy any free spirited person to tell me I'm wrong with a straight face.
 tnpir40024979
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 86
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 7:11:35 PM
Actually, that reminds me of something else. Another problem with free spirited people: it's never them that's the problem, it's always everyone else. If a free spirited person upsets someone else, it has to be something wrong with the other person, because the free spirited person is perfect just the way they are.

Again, the counterpoint is that everyone needs to have self-confidence, and that's absolutely 100% true. Believe in yourself and have confidence in the way you are. But believing oneself to be perfect, with no room to grow whatsoever, is at minimum a sign of denial, and at worst is a sign of a delusional mind.

A well developed mind has the capacity to acknowledge its own problems and shortcomings. A free spirit by definition lacks that capacity.

Ultimately, as home_osorio says, free spirited people will give you a migraine--and this is a major reason why.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 87
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 7/26/2011 10:20:52 PM
I consider myself a free spirit at heart, and am ultra ultra-responsible.
I have my own place & vehicle, pay bills out the rear, manage a household, raise children, put food on the table and clothes on their backs and see to it that all of their needs and most of their wants that are within reason are met, and spend a good deal of my time doing family related activities & responsiblities (cooking, cleaning, house maintenance, PTA meetings, famaily outings, stuff like that). I maintain a healthy loving long term relationship, and i have been married.
I am kind of a cross of Mary Poppins & Tinkerbell, lol. When i was young i traveled the world with nothing but a backpack, and i plan to do so again when my kids are adults. I love seeing new places, meeting new people, and learning new things, and i love to sometimes go the unconventional route, and live life on my terms, i dont always go by other peoples opinions or social conventions. I am curious about the world at large. I speak my mind and opinions. I love the Arts with a passion. I live for myself and the people closest to me.
However to most people I probably look like your average suburban Soccer Mom, nothing out of the ordinary. But i crave so much more than just the ordinary.

Now someone who uses the term free-spirit to describe spmeone who simply doesnt want to do jack with their life, yeahhhhhh.... no, not quite.
 7Carla
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 88
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:59:03 PM
"Free Spirit" to me means does not mean someone is irresponsible.

It means that we don't mind being in a committed relationship with someone who doesn't put constraints on them (i.e. what time to be home, what to where, why you didn't answer your cell phone, etc.)

I am a "Free Spirit"...even though I enjoy the concept of marriage, I am intimidated by the fact that I will forget who I am because I am committed to keeping the man in my life satisfied.

I hope this makes sense <3
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 89
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Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 8/1/2012 9:25:08 PM

true 'free spirits' think outside the box and approach life from a different direction than the standard. i think a truly free-spirited individual has very definite ideas about the way they want their world to work. they work for the greater good and go about this in unorthodox methods. as opposed to a lack of responsibility, these people feel an almost urgent need to participate in experiences that elevate themselves and those around them.

yes, you may find artists, writers, musicians etc. but, i see the truly free-spirited as having a greater awareness.

whereas the person who claims free-spiritedness and waving it around like a banner to attract attention while giving nothing back cannot claim posession of an authentic freedom of spirit. this is merely ego.

if you find a true free spirit, try to understand and support their endeavors.

Nice post Jupiter, do I get extra points for supposing you are a Twin Peaks fan?

As for free spirits, have known one or two and have benefitted from knowing them.
 originalwildchild82
Joined: 9/18/2012
Msg: 90
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 12/19/2012 5:02:23 PM
A free spirit thinks for himself, observing and collecting data in order to form his own opinions.
A free spirit does what she thinks is right, not what everyone else tells her is right. She puts a high value on free choice.
A free spirit cares about getting to know both himself and the world around him.
A free spirit isn’t generally swayed by arguments of what one is “supposed” to do. She tends to avoid, ignore, or become upset by people who are judgmental or controlling.
A free spirit has the courage to test life’s boundaries and limits, and to try things that other people think are impossible, unimportant, or impractical. (These other people are often wrong.)
A free spirit often has her own unique vision of life and the world.
I'm not a cheat iv been hurt mor than most by love n violence but I still choose to find peace and love from the world around me
 saddestangel7
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 91
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:51:29 PM
I am most definitely a "Free Spirit". Most Aquarians are. It doesn't mean irresponsible. For me it means I am very much an individual, not a follower and do march to the sound of a different beat. My mind is open to all possibilities. I would rather soar above the crowd than be a part of it. As a mate I am loving and devoted to a fault but I can't have my wings clipped. Can't be with a man who is suffocating. One who makes me his entire life. Which is why as a woman I am strongly attracted to alpha males. For they are confident in who they are already. So far I find they bring out my best qualities in a relationship because they leaders not followers which means we can fly together.

I do agree some will call themselves "Free Spirits" use it more as an excuse to be childish.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 92
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 12/19/2012 10:40:24 PM
I think the idea of a free spirit if fine, someone who does not follow the crowd, doesn't accept the status quo, thinks outside the box, etc. However, the term is misused by people who want to be irresponsible, selfish, inconsiderate, etc. So, if I were to meet someone who labeled him or herself as a free spirit, I'd be skeptical and ask what that term meant to them, to define and describe being a free spirit. As you see in this thread, it means different things to different people



Most Acquarians are
Wow, I don't agree with this. Both of my parents were Aquarians and neither was anything near being a free spirit, not in any sense.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 93
Does free spirit mean irresponsible?
Posted: 12/19/2012 10:52:00 PM
I think it is just a title that people peg to themselves to make them look cool. Most that I know who claim this are usually the non-conformant conformist. They are out there though. I can say I know of two people that say and pretty much are the so-called description of a free-spirit. Fun to be with, yet very selfish.
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