| | Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?Page 2 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) |
sex is not a dating activity.... it is a relationship activity... something that you do with someone you care about... not something you do to get to know someone....
See? This is where we differ. A woman isn't going to "know me", beyond what I would allow a casual friend to know, if she's "telling me" that she's "evaluating" me to see whether she's "into" me enough for it to be sexual. In point of fact, for me, it's either "yes" or "no", and it's always been mutual. I don't "hang around" for "maybe", and the truth of things is, I haven't had to. If someone "just isn't into me", I can handle it. There are a lot of attractive women in the world, and it's never been that difficult, or taken that long, to find someone with whom things develop naturally, mutually, and quickly.
2 out of 3 times that I have a first date, there's no strong chemistry, so nothing happens. Every long term relationship I've ever had, though, has come with someone, where we were mutually "into" each other from the start. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:01:36 PM | Sure, why not.
Sex isn't the only way to have fun with someone. If it is for you, then no wonder you're still looking for partners.
As for hot and heavy sessions. Well, they'd be fun too. No big deal if you don't go all the way.
The no sex thing has the biggest advantage in that you get to KNOW the person you're dating. You date more often. You do more.
It's no longer every evening turning into a hump session because that's all you know how to do with each other. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:01:39 PM | What is wrong with a month? I was recently thrown back in the pond for not putting out on the second date. I couldn't believe it but then I realized that he was not interested enough then. I'm ok with that. I'm quite sure if I had that would have been the end of it anyway. Obviously. To be honest, I slept with my ex on the first date but that was the 80's and he was a rock star so I couldn't stand by and watch another groupie chick snatch him up so I had to take him. That was the beginning of a 12 year relationship which led to marriage. Its all about the circumstances. Now, I basicly want to wait long enough to know that he's still going to be around after.  | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:03:18 PM | I am answering this thread from the perspective of older people dating (i.e. 40+ as a rough guide).
Answer to the original question in the subject line - NO. It seems strange to even be having this discussion. If an older guy and a gal want to go out and there is no sex involved, that's great, its called FRIENDS. But expect that he will looking for another woman to date too.
Sex is natural in a relationship. I would not take a chance with a woman that wants to wait more then 3 or 4 dates. If she can not make up her mind about you by then, I would have questions about her. Does she not enjoy sex, does she use sex to control a guy, how many other rules does she have, etc. A major red flag for me. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:05:29 PM | This is kind of a silly question OP, what guy is going to tell you oh yeah if she doesn't sleep with you after one or dates she's history , HELLO 
I think the difference is some guys look at women as dating/sex and some look for long term , meet the folks blah blah blah. If you're a single guy just looking to get bobo honked and a little action then its going to matter if he " gets it" or more like when ,and if the guy is looking for long term committed relationship and he's found the woman who he wants to spend time with then of course he will wait because he believes there is more to a relationship than sex and sex is just the bonus part of the relationship. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:07:52 PM | yes i would certainly wait........not all that bothered if we never had sex either.
had relationships that had no intimacy at all.....it was mutual too, there are many things to do than having sex, like bowling , cinema, walks, cuddling.........
i had one girlfriend who was kind of sex mad, iam not, anyway she had to go. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:08:05 PM | I don't believe in casual sex . Never have and never will. Any man who can't accept that and refuses to see me ,well it's no skin off my nose. I would rather be single forever then behave as most do in the dating world now.If what i see going on everywhere is normal then i will be very happy to be abnormal.
Dating is about getting to know each other not seeing how fast you can jump in bed together. It's a pity that this is all there is to dating now. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:16:52 PM | crazycurlz is exactly right! Good answer!
my opinion...wait as long as you want to. it doesn't matter if you go for it on the first date or wait til you're married do it...just make sure it's what you want. not something that you think you NEED to do to please him.
If he isn't concerned enough about you're comfort level, then he isn't worth bothering about. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:16:56 PM | "I would really hope that there is more to dating then hoping to get sex...
oh wait.... I forgot... to most there isn't....
I have found that most men don't want to wait anymore... sad state that we are in if sex is all we have in common with the opposite sex..."
How can ANYONE take seriously what you say, with photos like you have posted??? | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:17:32 PM | i always said i wouldn't have sex 'til marriage...then we kept fooling around...so...one thing led to another. in a sense, yes, i regret it. i wish i didn't...so i can still claim that i'm a virgin. i had so much pride in myself that at my age, i still was (i lost it when i was 21). then again, we pretty much did everything *but* that...so meh.
it makes me wonder though, why fool around but hold back to the sex itself? i mean, are the "foreplay" so much more "innocent"?? | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:20:08 PM | | not really, if you are dating it all falls eventually to getting intimate... sex is a pretty normal activity/need for most people. Why date someone you are not going to bond with ever? Fruitless for both of you... | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:30:02 PM |
if the guy is looking for long term committed relationship and he's found the woman who he wants to spend time with then of course he will wait because he believes there is more to a relationship than sex and sex is just the bonus part of the relationship.
Mahogany rush, no it's not "of course he would wait", if he's looking for long term. I think it's valid, though, that a man who is compatible with you would share your view that sex is merely a "bonus" in a relationship, rather than centrally important. Given that view, it would have to be a man who isn't strongly sexually driven, so, for you, that may be an "of course", but it isn't that way universally. In fact, in my experience, very few women that I've talked to for long, view sex as merely a "bonus", or relatively unimportant, part of a relationship.
If he isn't concerned enough about you're comfort level, then he isn't worth bothering about.
Likewise, if she isn't concerned enough about the man's comfort level, then she isn't worth bothering about, which leads to a resounding "no" for me to the OP's question.  | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:30:56 PM | To sexygrl75,
I guess I'm glad I lived in the generation that I did. I can't believe you think a guy won't date you because you won't put out. What happened to the mystery of who you are and what you want. Is this what you really want, look at your user name. Why? Dating is getting to know the person and developing a friendship not seeing the length of his penis first. Notice his face, his personality, his manner of dress and how he treats you. Don't you girls know that this is more exciting just having the fun first of being friends, the mystery of getting to know each other more, rather than, really getting to know you more, with a fast romp in bed. Dump those that don't treat you like a lady, and if you don't act like a lady then don't blame them for dumping you.
Carolanne 60 | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:31:43 PM | | It doesn’t have to happen the first or tenth time of dating, just the real prospect has to be there. Being the right time is a matter of judgement and should be fun for both parties even without honourable intentions, but Girls that hold out in the long term get no babies to be left holding (DNA cloning excepted). | |
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Ron9
| | Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:31:49 PM | My thoughts only. I never try to speak for others.
I think she should wait - as long as she is ***able*** to wait.
If I like her a great deal - I may be trying to make her ***unable*** to wait all that long.
I personally would like nothing better than - for this sex “stuff” to somehow - revert back to what it use to be like.
All of this use to be “fun”. I had to heat her up - listen to “I am not that kind of girl” - turn the burners up - listen to “I am not that kind of girl” - turn on the afterburner .... 1st base ..... 2nd base .........
The fun is gone now. After being NOT-single for 33 years - it seems all the guy needs to do is ...... show up. It is sad. It all made me feel like “just some guy” - any guy. I stopped dating right after I started. I’ve been on one date in like the last 3.5 years. That “date” was headed in the very same direction and I just went home.
There is a HUGE difference in - just being another date - another guy - another pecker ...... or both being so damn hot nothing could stop it.
I’ll just wait until (if and when) I cross paths with a gal that ...... we can’t keep our hands off of each other and know full well we are going exclusive - no doubts - none.
I have not been in and out of very many relationships. Mine have been INSTANT two way and they have lasted. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:40:58 PM | I would, alot of guys would, some guys won't - and some girls are the same way in both directions I'm sure too - Odlam21
I read an article in the newspaper last summer, about a survey of internet daters, using Lavalife.
Over 60% of them (both genders) stated they would not be interested in someone who had NOT
been an intimate (sexual/romantic) relationship in over a year. I have to admit, this surprised the
heck out of me! ROFLMFAO!! | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:47:58 PM | Ummmm Melo, that is not what I said, Im talking about men who aren't sexually driven
what I said was, some men put women in two categories, 1) dating/sex and you want to get it quickly and 2) for long term, now to clarify what i said earlier, sometimes a man meets a woman who he connects with, mentally, physically , spiritually and emotionally and her company is wonderful and time flies and of course when the intimacy happens its wonderful, thats what im referring to " bonus" , doesn't matter if the guy is sexually driven or not.
Face it there are women that you look at and pop goes the weasel and you're thinking all kind of exotic things and there are women if one is lucky that you enjoy being with her and sex isn't the first thing on your mind, just her presence makes you smile, but I understand that is rare. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 8:19:58 PM | Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Is this a girl friend and boy friend issue ? Or is this someone you met
in laundry mat or at a restaurant and you dated a few times? I know
we like to use the terms woman friend or male friend now days. But
you need to level the field. Is she your steady or just a conquest or to
put it bluntly, is she just a piece of meat. Some guys has an inclination
of trying to get into every hole they come across. But when they want
to settle down they want a pure as “driven snow” woman for a companion.
Some of these women are wizening up now. They are asking up front,
what are your intentions. Is it going to be a wham bam and thank you mam.
Most women will tell you by their actions wether or not that they are
out just to get their gems or their itch scratched.( One night stand). Other
are really looking for a well mannered fellow because they want to settle down.
There are some women that are just out for sex just like most men. When
you meet the two of you should be able to communicate as to what you
want in a relationship. Or if is going to be a relationship or a booty call.
Men and women should be able to have friends without having a sexual
involvement. But then a man and a woman should be able to come together
just for sex if that is what they want. My thing is that neither should have
several different partners. A triangle or rectangles almost always introduce
some type of disease into a association. Like I said before lay out the ground
rules first if this going to be friendship thing with or without benefits or a
couple just out for fun and games or a couple hoping for a marital union
further down the road. Remember there is always that possibility that the
two may fall in love.
The answer to your question is YES. If her and I aren’t going to be doing the
culminating thing I would probably have a back-up plan. And when her and
I get serious enough to finalize our relationship one way or the other I would
break off my booty call relationship if and when we decide to marry.
Remember ladies a man have to have his pressure alleviation valve.  | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 8:38:28 PM | | I'd definitely still date her if she won't sleep with me. I've been seeing my current girlfriend for four months, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I would have been open to the possibility of having sex. And I'm still in no rush to have sex; I wouldn't mind limiting it to cuddling and making out and literal sleeping together for as long as she wants. | |
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| Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:03:44 PM |
Remember ladies a man have to have his pressure alleviation valve.
That's what you use your hand for. Wow i pity the woman in a relationship with you . Based on what you wrote you would only be commited to someone and stop having sex with others when you are married . If someone you would claim to love did not want to have sex outside of marriage you would stay with her but have sex still with f*ck buddies. Be still my beating heart . The romance of it all it almost too much to bear.
What woman out there would possibly pass that up . If she would want to wait for sex until marriage i can't imagine why she would be comfortable with you running off to see your f*ck buddies. There truly are no decent people left out there. | |
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