| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 2:26:00 PM | Or perhaps she desires to just have sex,
I think we all have been used at one time or another. For sure if it didn't work after an 8 month commitment
it isn't likely to work now. She already said NO so it's either a vendeda to keep you from getting into another one
or there is something she needs that you have......
Hide the check book, redo the combination of the safe, and change the door locks
AND give some serious thoughts as to why YOU are spending time in her company...
Truth: Sometimes we just don't want to be alone. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 4:21:25 PM | (Not a lady but....)
I'd recommend stopping the visits and let things chill for a year or two. Then you can try talking to her, if you wish. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:14:39 PM | I agree with post no. 6 stop the visits as she does not sound like this will have any kind of good or healthy out come for you. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:38:29 PM | *shrug*
since she's only in it for the friendship, i'm sure she won't mind the next time she comes over to "hang out" if you have a girlfriend there too.
 i'm free! | |
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| Ladies Answer this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:43:52 PM | You would not waste your time with a guy that was moody, ****y and self absorbed. So why would you waste your time with this female? She does not want you, she has made it quite clear.
Find someone that actually appreciates you and treats you well. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:18:52 PM | Ok first of all...in my opinion if someone hates you, then you need to leave them alone...you stated she had the "biggest hate on me"....why are you engaging her and allowing her to "visit", my thoughts are for the sex maybe?
Secondly, when she says she has no feelings she has no feelings, how more direct can a woman be???
Believe what you hear...JMHO | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:49:54 PM |
It doesn't sound all that healthy any way you cut it, dood.
Especially if she's doing a 180 every other day (you should have mentioned that in your first post, it kind of puts a dent in the notion that she's just looking for closure at the present time).
When a relationship is over and prospects haven't improved, it's not uncommon for people to remember the good times they did have with you and think "Gee, that wasn't really that bad, was it?" .. and then try to re-visit what they once had.
Also OP...It is the holiday season..
Either way I wouldn't allow it to continue unless something inside of you is being fulfilled by this emotional rollercoaster.
Have a great holiday
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:56:53 PM | Ok - reading all these responses and your questions.
Only one thing to say - GET A GRIP and get rid of her. Tell her to buzz off - don't answer the door if she comes by - hang up if she calls.
LORD man - she is toying with you and getting a real kick out of it. Who knows why? Nobody but her. DUMP her butt on the ground - turn around and walk away! Quickly! | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/18/2007 8:48:56 PM | I TOTALLY agree with bobofirst.
She is NOT healthy emotionally, or psychologically. Therefore, she is not healthy for YOU. Sever all further contact with her. Do NOT allow her to come over to your house, especially if there is no one else there. Who knows what is going on in her twisted little mind??? It can only mean trouble, and the longer you take to make your decision, the harder it will be for you to let go again.
DO IT NOW.
She is a time bomb, waiting to explode. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:32:29 AM | | Op, we could wonder all day about her and her feelings and what shes doing etc.. I think the main question is how do you feel, are you over this woman? and do you want her friendship... and if your answering no to these then cut it loose, apparently she has unresolved issues... let her own them... and if shes telling you she hates you or ? then why be in such a hostel environment in the comforts of your own home ??? I think you should have a self talk and decide what you want..and since you have some of her input to ponder the decision seems to be fairly easy | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:31:12 PM | its nice to have a straight awnser and all. but she comes over to MY house. she calls ME and see's what im up to... just to see if she can come over and hang out... trust me on this one. there is no way the girl gets anything from me, wether it be one dollar or a beer.
and also. she has plenty of friends. i dont think she will ever be alone | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:36:42 PM | | thats funny. you dont kow me. plus the fact of you thinking shes playing head games or toying with me.. it doesnt work. especially when i get a phone call from her... with her asking me if i want to drink with her...at my house | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:40:20 PM | Who cares if she has feelings for you or not? I seem flirtatious around men I'm not even attracted to
That might mean you're still a kiss3r of frogs for a reason
I agree completely with Outmind. I don't need someone to hangout as though they have something to prove. Do you? Nothing good can come from it. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:03:48 AM | | she sounds like a tease and wants to get back at your for something. Maybe she wants you to want her so she can turn around and hurt you? | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:53:32 AM | I don’t know...but , could it be ...
“I’m lonely. I haven’t found a new guy yet. I need an ego boost and the EX always
made me feel wanted/desired. I know ! I’ll go flirt with him for a few minutes! Then it is back to the salt mines to find a new victim!” | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:54:23 AM | OP you have said that she is at times emotionally unstable and had a big hate on for you. Hate is a powerful emotion, the opposite side of the love coin.
Emotions that powerful don't dissipate quickly, its my guess she still has very strong feelings for you.
She has come back into your life for reasons she alone knows. You need to ask yourself is this what YOU want and what is in YOUR best interests.
Not sure how most would feel but there are three letters that come to my mind!!!
JMHO | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:14:21 AM | | Op...I'll answer your question with a question...why even bother???? Why do people feel so drawn to their ex's. There is a reason they are your EX...move on!!!! Beside, who would want to date someone still talking to their ex, I wouldn't. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:16:04 AM | | I think absence makes you minimize what you couldn't stand about a person and so you begin to think they might not be so bad after all until you go visit them again. After you are with them awhile you begin to see the things you left them for, and realize that even though you care for them you cannot stay with them. There is a comfort zone with someone you were with for so long and you always want to return to that spot if just for a little while but do not intend to stay at least until one of you find another significant other. Your ex probably still has feelings for you but not the kind of love that makes her want to stay with you forever. Of course, she could just be schitzo. Who knows, people are weird. Why not just be friends. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:22:48 AM | | catchinnj: You probably will never date if you do not want to date anyone who is still talking to their EX because anyone over 25 that was married probably has children and eventually grandchildren, which is a forever link to an ex, and requires communication of some kind forever. Hopefully a good connection for the children's sake. | |
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| Ladies Awnser this one for me....
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:58:55 AM | | I meant other then something like that. Kids are a different story. But I have walked away from two people that just can't let go even after they were treated like crap for years. They cling to the few happy moments and forget all the bad. | |
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