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 easyriderbabe
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 101
Woman who never callsPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
OUTMIND I have to agree, what do you think this guy was doing hanging on to you for 19HOURS honey?Come on, grow up, it's a wonder he never burst a blood vessel.You are one of those women we should all be wary of.The poor guy is probably sick of trying, i applaud his patience.
 ex-navy
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 102
Woman who never calls
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:01:33 AM
Stop reading into things and setting up rules that only hinder you. If it feels ok to you, then you'd be singing something different. Maby if you could learn to trust people a little bit, enough to get close enough to see their true intentions and maby talk to them about it as well you'd feel differently right now.I'm deeply in like with somebody, and I've told her that. You know what I'm also saying? Lets not rush things because I like you, go ahead and call your shots how you like them and we'll keep communicating.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 103
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:01:56 AM
If I met a woman who didnt call me other than to arrange dates or return MY calls... I'd probably worship her. Hahahaha.
 ciscoj33
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 104
Woman who never calls
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:27:15 PM
i'm sure other guys in here have wondered....is there some kind of written rule that states a man is supposed to initiate all the calling? come on it's the 21st century. old-fashioned doesnt' have value anymore. pick up the phone and call the guy a time or two. it might be uplifting for him.
 michiganman734
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 105
Woman who never calls
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:38:21 PM

Men have to make the moves, since they complain when women take the initiative.


Nope, not ALL men. I have no problems with women who take initiative. You know, we're all adults, we should be able to get past the games of high school. If you see someone you're interested, go for it. Period.
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 106
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 1/1/2008 1:11:03 PM
I agree, it's nice to know that you are willing to reach out to him without making him initiate everything. It's not needy and clingly unless you overload him. This isn't the 50's and if you make him do all the work, you might lose him to another woman that "Gives" more.

I know that if I was in that situation I would question myself on just how commited you are to developing a real relationship. Some effort to communicate and being able to pick up the phone and tell me that you miss me is mandatory IMO.
 ProducePro
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 107
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/17/2011 6:25:00 PM
Lol I know this thread has been inactive for about three years, but I'm gonna reactivate now ! I dated someone who after a few months of me initiating just about all contact tried to relay my desire to have her text or call me first more often and that I'd love that was met with this response " that seems controlling to me and I'm not much of a phone person" Even after I assured her it wasn't meant to be controlling she still wouldn't call unless she " has something to say" as she would put it. Didn't see her much longer after that.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 108
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/17/2011 11:30:55 PM
If a relationship is going to go anywhere, calls and texts need to be by both to show an interest.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 109
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/18/2011 10:00:09 AM
i dont know what game ur playing lady..but i wouldda dumped ur azz a long time ago...
 complete_moron
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 110
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/18/2011 12:40:10 PM
What's worse is when a woman calls randomly through the week and seems desperate to meet up, but when it comes to Friday and Saturday, she is nowhere to be found. Next week monday comes, there are a bunch of excuses and there she is again calling and texting, and promising , but the weekend comes again, she is nowhere to be found, can't be reached, won't return phone calls.
Then she gets upset when she figures out that I banned her phone number and sends angry emails.
WTF?
 Implications
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 111
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/18/2011 7:12:08 PM
Whoah! This thread has assumed a life of its own, but I'll take a swing at the original question.


So, I'm wondering how men view it when a woman never calls. Does that pique the man's curiosity or does it start to make him feel that maybe she's not that into him?


It makes us feel that you're not into us. This kind of "be aloof" advice is also given to men, so it's not just a mistake women make.

I believe that the idea behind "don't call" advice is based on the observation that the men and women who don't care seem to be the ones who get the most attention. You see the same idea in the "women love ***holes" and "men love ****es" advice.

Is it that ***holes are attractive, or that attractive people tend to be ***holes? I'm sure you've noticed how people with more wealth, looks, or authority than the norm often develop some ugly personality traits. It has been proven true by (not pop)psychologists.

It's that they're attractive that keeps the other person trying and trying to win them over, not that the casual disinterest builds attraction. The attraction was already there, and that's why they soldier on when the other is all but ignoring them.

People see the attractive people being their disinterested selves and somehow conclude that if they copy their behavior it'll be just as if they were equally attractive themselves. Pop psychologist then hop in with their advice, products, and all kinds of theories to explain it all.

It's all BS. That's my pair of pennies.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 112
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 11:54:21 AM
OP wrote: [Quote] I NEVER initiate calls to him. I only call to return his call, to alert him if I'm running late, or if I got lost on the way to where we're meeting and I need directions. Other than that, I do NOT call.
That's fine. It will severely limit the number of people who are willing to be interested in you, but you're perfectly entitled to have an entitlement personality as long as you don't mind people treating you as if you're a pain in the ass to deal with.
 danishpastry
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 113
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 2:47:52 PM
It's called adult communication 101. Calling men does not make you clingy. Who taught you that? You don't want to be a short term fling but you want someone to gravel over you and you refuse to communicate. That's an issue you have to resolve yourself on your own before you date or get seious with anyone. Anyeone who puts up with that is WEAK!
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 114
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 3:31:55 PM
I once briefly dated a woman who wouldn't even do as much as the OP. We had plans to meet and as I was on my way to her place, she had to attend to a family matter. She didn't bother to call me that night or the next day. When I did get in touch with her, she said, I don't call men. When I asked, not even to tell me your plans had changed? She said, nope. I said, have a nice life, goodbye!
Now when a women tells me that, I just move on. It's not worth the trouble to date women like that, no matter how fine they may be, I'll pass. Next...
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 115
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 5:13:05 PM
ok...I'm not happy to admit this, but I am guilty of not calling, even when I really want to talk to a man. I tell myself...if a man wants to talk to me he will call me.

I know...not good...I am a work in progress. I'm trying, but it is hard to change after all these years!
 mako20
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 116
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 5:51:57 PM
wow..guess the games never end,,i think if you liked the date doesnt matter who calls,,step up to the plate,,and call!!!!
 james331978
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 117
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/19/2011 9:08:22 PM
It make me feel like she is not that interested.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 118
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/20/2011 3:42:42 PM

Nope, not ALL men. I have no problems with women who take initiative. You know, we're all adults, we should be able to get past the games of high school. If you see someone you're interested, go for it. Period.


Communication is important. It is no place for game playing. If the other person thinks otherwise in the early days of your relationship/friendship then what makes you think it will be any better two or five years after you know them.

Talk with them about it. If they are using the behavior of with-holding as a control mechanism at all then you need to ask yourself some serious question about their views on how relationships should work.


ok...I'm not happy to admit this, but I am guilty of not calling, even when I really want to talk to a man. I tell myself...if a man wants to talk to me he will call me.


One sided communication where you think that a man has to take the initiative and call you first is a red flag. You are probably doing more to alienate that other person then you realize.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 119
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/20/2011 7:52:27 PM
hmm...I say I'm not happy to admit it & that I'm a work in progress & you still bash me over it. I don't call 'cause I think a man has to take all the initiative or 'cause I think I have a sense of entitlement. I don't call 'cause I don't want to be the annoying girl that seems clingy.

I am working on it even though it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Bash again if it'll make you feel better.
 brewcrew9
Joined: 4/17/2011
Msg: 120
Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/24/2011 3:18:29 AM
LOL at women that think this way. It is a two way street, at least we know to run for the hills after experiencing this behavior.

This is a old thread so im sure we wont here from the OP again but LMAO I cant believe this came from a 50 year old woman and not a teenager. Guess some people never grow up, probably why she was single.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 121
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:12:38 AM
Guess what? It's 2011, not 1951. If a woman never called me, I'd assume she's either not all that interested, or she's a self-absorbed princess, or both. Either way, my interest wouldn't last long.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 123
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/24/2011 7:20:41 AM
My long term friends and I don't call each other just to talk. We call only when we are running late etc.
Why would be treat men any different?

For the gentleman who said we would limit our dating pool if we didn't call, some of us don't want a man calling us just to talk. Some of us prefer to talk face to face. Actually take the time to enjoy someone face to face. Not try to grasp what the other person is saying while we are making supper or have to turn supper off rather than risk burning it.

I am self employed. For some reason, a few men have thought being self employed means they can call during my work day (sometimes more than once). They don't realize that a) I am busy at work, and 2) me talking on the phone to someone I am dating doesn't set a good example to employees.

Whatever happened to going out on a date, talking for as long as you want to, setting up the next date (could be the next night). Why the need for all this phoning/text? I see people who get a text/phone call constantly from friends. I guess someone need to reach out to others constantly and other people prefer to focus on the person they are with at the time. I would not go out on a date and leave my phone on, whether it be the first or 50th. date. I realize many people do. We are all different.

This has nothing to do with 1950 mentality.
 beenambedie
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 124
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:12:54 AM
If I was dating you and you didn't pick up the phone and call me some too I would dump your ass like yesterdays garbage. Sounds to me like as another poster said, it's all about you. Get your head out of your ass, quit thinking your to damn good to call him and do what you already know you should, Push the send button.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 125
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Woman who never calls
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:20:06 AM
"it's all about you"

Oh please. I don't date men who need to spend time on the phone because they have nothing else to do. It isn't all about me. It isn't all about the men who need to be in contact by phone repeatedly. Men I date are business owners too. They work crazy hours like I do. Out of respect for them, I don't call. They could be in a meeting or on a job site, just as I could.
The type of men I date are on the same page as I am.

Yesterday garbage. Please read the rules. Post like that are not allowed.
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