| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:51:57 PM | I'd wonder why I was so dumb as to not recognize makeup.
There are good lies in life. Not telling a cop what you really think, but lying instead, and makeup or two examples. What next, give up tic tacs and brushing your teeth because you want others to know your true breath? | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:34:23 PM | Within deceipt and il-intent lies flourish in abundance. Strange as it is ....everyone we meet has something to offer and they like us do display our true colours. But, far too often men pay too much attention to the desires of the flesh and miss the lessons that they were supposed to have learnt.
Why are you blaming her for being who she is. Ask yourself this why ...was I blinded by beauty and allowed myself to be misled by the words she spoke?
How could I not see beyond the camouflages she so skillfully wore ...If I didn't want to believe?
Within the truth and Love ...lies do not take root and blossom into a tree bearing fruits.. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:02:22 PM |
Nipping bad behaviour in the bud is key if you want the relationship to continue.
Unfortunately that isn't always true. I was in a relationship that she would lie all the time even though I would catch her. We split, she wrote me a letter saying how she would never do it again and guess what..... It happened again. OP I know exactly what you are going through because I am too. You just have to move on and except the things you can not change. (no I don't belong to AA) Something happened that she learned to lie as a self defence mechinism and it has become habit. If at some point in her life she decides to be completely honest with herself, she will change. Until then she will continue with what she has learned to do.
While she might not think her lies are serious, they damage her credibilty when it comes down to the ugly parts of relationships.
Soooo true. I figure it this way, If you can't be honest and tell me something as miniscule as you want a night out with the girls and you tell me you will be staying at your mom's, you definately wont be telling me about something big when it comes up and besides that I'm sure she has questioned your honesty OP, thats how it happened to me.
once a liar, always a liar....
Also Once a cheat always a cheat.
Lose her fast before you get any deeper | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:39:51 PM | the original poster wrote "I'm wondering why there's always lies in love"... actually there isn't - but unfortunately your experiences weren't the norm. You met and fell in love with a liar and that is a tragedy - no one should feel their trust betrayed by lies. It does happen, but it doesn't happen "always". A few bad experiences does not make up the sum of the whole.
I like to think that the average person honestly wants a healthy relationship with someone they can be themselves with. Some people don't know who they are, others don't like who they are so create fantasy persona's that have nothing to do with reality, most however are just normal people seeking someone to share the ups and downs of life with. Using words like "always" or "all" are limiting because there will always be exceptions to any generalization. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:09:27 PM | It is so sad that we are human and there are those that have big problems with telling lies. My dad said to my family at the dining room table, "She is just my business partner." They have been happily married for something like 30 years now...the business partner and my dad.
My ex-husband said a few years back, before I took off my rose colored glasses, "She is just a friend." He has been living with his just a friend since 2005.
I try not to, but have good reason from past experience to try hard not to lie. Some people don't ever get hurt by other people's lies and so they never have any lessons.
If her lies are that devastating to you and your relationship, then you need to move on and I hope you get the support you will need to get on with your life and get over her. If you think that you two can talk it out by yourselves or a trained professional, who knows maybe there are good reasons behind her untruths. Only you can decide if you think it is worth dealing with, but don't blame all women. Ummm yeah, I like to wear makeup and dresses.... but that doesn't mean I lie. I just have always liked playing dressup and am so glad I was born a girl. | |
|
| |
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:27:08 PM | All fisherman/women are liers buddy. Cept you and me. ( and sometimes I wonder about you)  | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:55:04 PM | Lie to her back...
"Surprise, honey...This is my old flame that I told you I was completely over!...Uhhh...Guess what?" | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/24/2007 4:53:01 PM | lose the lier before you get in any deeper... my sentiments exactly! | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:37:35 PM | Love is not filled with lies . . .
However, the liar -
oh, been there, done that. Found out he lied about everything and then lied somemore when he got caught in his lies. Fortunately I got out quickly (in a matter of weeks). . . booted his a$$ to the curb, quickly and firmly.
good luck to you | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:45:16 PM | What would happen is you would be devistated...speaking from experience here. But I'm wondering if you never knew she was lying or if you just denied the little signs that were there the whole time. I know I was denying them in my case. It's tough to hear that everything you believed turns out to be untrue, though...
But there's not always lies in love. If you love someone and they truly love you back, there's no need to lie. You have openness, honesty, and happiness. If someone is lying to you, they don't love you. (again, hard to hear...) You just need to find the right person. Don't give up...she's out there somewhere.
Good luck! :) | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:49:19 PM | | It happens, and it devastates you, esp. if there are deep feelings involved or relationship is already in serious stages. I would say "move on". Even if you stay, the trust is gone and it will not last anyway. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:19:41 PM | one lie ALWAYS leads to another and another and another and another till you can't distinguish if they are EVER telling the truth.
 | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:25:31 AM |
What would happen to you if you have fell in love with some one who was telling you
"lies"
since you met her , what would happen to you if you have found out that the cute
and innocent face which you used to see in every morning is just a mask and it wasn't
the real face for her , what would happen to you if all good things you had was faked by
someone who has no conscience ?
i'm wondering about all these and i'm wondering why there's always lies in love.
Sure... everybody lies.
By omission..by overstatement...by actually LYING...
But any person that constantly tell lies has serious emotional and mental issues.
Any relationship w/ them is likely going to be physically, emotionally and financially draining.
And w/o any trust
If this appealing...go for it.
If not... keep on keepin' on. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:33:53 AM | | Guess you want to get yourself in a position to head out the back door. Slip away quietly but slip away. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 11:25:17 AM | Seems many have been through the "liar" dating scene. Suppose I'll add my experience to the bunch. I dated someone for a year and a half. Met him online. Well, we would talk a lot by phone, IM, etc. He told me many "stories". Even before we met face to face I caught him in lies. But, for part of my defense there, he WAS injured on the job years prior, had fallen and had some head injuries from the fall. So I chalked it up at that time to having a hard time remembering things clearly. (yes now I look back and kick myself up and down the street for this) We had some minor issues along the way of us getting into a relationship. One being distance and who would travel. Was lied to about that as well. But I wound up falling in love.
Moving on. As of recent I found out he basically lied every other word. Found him posting in groups how single he was and lonely, couldnt find a good woman, all the while calling me and being in a relationship with me. We weren't just seeing where things go, we were bf/gf. I asked him about it, he said, he never wrote that.  Right. He hid our realtionship on all his profiles, etc, etc. Lied about his past, lied about the weather. Basically anything he could. Caught him pretty much every time and would call him on it. Still maintained he wasn't lying and so forth. I was in love with this person, but apparently it's not the person I thought he was. I was used in this relationship (my fault as well, i should have walked with the first lie I caught).
I bent over backwards for him and his daughter only to get mentally abused, being told I was crazy and making up things that weren't there, despite being in black and white from his own hand.
I don't see the point of lying to someone you love, unless it's about who drank the last of the milk. I never judged. Was only made to think it was me and MY fault. When in fact it was NOT my fault. He's a pathological liar and has been for far longer than he and I have been together. A great friend told me the truth of a portion of his past that he lied to me about and that sealed it for me. I was done.
In otherwords, if someone is willing to lie to you, they don't really care for you to begin with. They just can't help themselves but to lie. They won't most times know they are doing it anymore cause they truly believe what they are saying is true. Despite having clear evidence of a LIE. Amazing how it works. Do I understand it? No, cause I'm an honest person. People like that have low self esteem and we can't help them with that. They feel they are right no matter what. They are in other words, sick. I tried sticking out out. Tried being there and supporting him, but meant nothing in the end. I was the crazy one making things up and he was right all along...
One day I do hope to find someone to share my life with, but sadly it's not the person I was in love with, cause I don't even know who he is. He'll always be miserable in life and never find that "good woman" he wants so bad, cause he wont find someone as dumb as a doorknob that wont realize his stories never match. I feel more sorry for his daughter to be going through this....
Once you have a lie, that's it. All trust goes. More so when they don't admit they did it and try to turn the tables and make YOU think YOUR insane cause they got caught.
Ok, I should end my story..... | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:32:05 PM | RedHeadedNightMare, I think we dated the same guy.....Your story is almost word for word mine....
| |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:38:56 PM | Well...........my last finacee' was a compulsive liar.....it certainly never stopped (the lying ) for no reason at all or sometimes there were huge lies....
I was in it for 3 years and very draining and painful not only for me but for my children...the way these liars keep you wrapped in is.....through the confusion of 'why does one lie'
Once you realize your person is a liar....give that persona away.... | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:55:34 PM | | Walk away. Lies are unacceptable behavior in any relationship. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:48:07 AM | That's only a small portion of things he's done. The list is far longer. But me staying was foolish on my part as well. Guess I have a hard time giving up even if there is no hope. What can you do though? Live and learn. Just going to focus on healing and making my own life much better now for me and my kids.  | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/27/2007 10:01:37 AM | My ex lied so much, I am surprised he gave me his right name,,,2 years of nothing but lies, now I know where the saying "love is blind" comes from, we want to believe that someone who loves us won't lie,,WRONG,,guess he had to lie, if I had known the truth I would have said thanks but no thanks,,,sooner or later the truth comes out and we are sad and shocked that we believed them,,I think all of us went through it...there is not always lies in love, or even friendship, you don't have to love someone to be honest..we all have our past and if someone doesn't like us for what we are then its time to go...consider yourself lucky, who wants to be with someone who lies all the time,,,Good luck
evie  | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:10:19 PM | | Man, I feel sad for you...I lived with liars, not fun in the least! You find out you don't know them at all, and the only thing you can do is make a clean break and get on with your life without them. They never seem to change. I wish you the best though. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:39:40 PM |
I think it is quite easy to tell when someone is full of shit. But if you go through life with blinders on you usually run into some bad types.
Quite right carolann 0308, and good for you the wiser, as you know in just reading some of the various threads it becomes quite obvious in the ones who are honest and then
the ones who just well...blowing smoke up ones ya zoo for whatever twisted reason. | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:14:48 PM | | I just got out of a "relationship" and my "ex" told me that he didn't lie...he simply didn't offer information and I never asked about it (he was seeing his ex again)...he reasoned that since I didn't ASK him, and he didn't offer the info, he wasn't really lying...people can justify anything...as someone else said...poor self esteem and an ego boost was all she was looking for...you're too good for her! | |
|
| Lies Lies Lies
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:16:00 PM | RE: First post.
Lies in love exist because more often than not telling someone what they want to hear is what you need to do to make them love you. Theres the nice bitter truth. ^_^ | |
|
Home
login 
