| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:48:17 AM | Bad idea in a general sense, because Humans are generally stupid, in a general sense.
Now, if you were to make it clear, that after the date you wanted a "Booty Call", with no wake up time with them come tomorrow, it is a fine idea (and one I know well).
If, however, you do NOT make it clear, you are asking as always to HOPE the other person understands, and by now, everyone over the age of 15 should know ASSUMING with other people is an incredibly stupid thing to do.
Think ahead BEFORE it happens, not afterwards when the problems show up.
(Remember, if in doubt, you are supposed to be smart enough not to create your own problems)
I am with Happy Rebel, but work on a shorter time schedule (You call, I haul), usually just a few hours, meet & greet, and get to "bidness". Therefore, the expectations are usually specific to what I have to offer, and not at all what "normal" dates entail.
In other words: No BS.
As always, it depends on what you are shooting for for you, and the other person.
You might consider asking the other person before you hop off that mountain, because if they ain't up to the task, you are going to go down to the bottom by yourself.............. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:26:43 AM | i can't stand games. if I want a guy then I'll have a great time with him right away. he's not interested after that? Gee he must be a real stud with all kinds of women lining up for him....yeah right. He should consider himself damned lucky. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:30:23 AM | I was going to have sex with a guy I met after the 2 week mark because I thought he was great, but he turned out to be a real jerk on the morning of the night I had planned.
He didn't know of my plan, I was going to play it by ear, but I tell you, I am so glad now that I waited because he turned out to be someone I am not interested in.
Wait wait and then wait some more, until you KNOW they aren't a jerk. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:46:16 AM | | I think that if you want to come off like you don't sleep around but also want him to know that you're not frigid that you should convey your wanting to sleep with him but that you're not the kind of girl who will on the first date. That way he knows you're willing to take it to that place but you convey the message that not just anyone can get there. Say it in a way like "oh your so cute I wish we've been dating a little longer. if we had you'd be in so much trouble right now!" This also lets him know you're interested and he has something to look forward to that will keep him coming back. Just my opinion | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:43:56 PM | Here Is Two View Points I Have On This Topic Of
Sleeping With Someone On A First Date
I don t think I would go for sex on a first date but then it depends on the chemistry and if two people click straight away and it s too powerful then why not enjoy each other s company. It also depends on whether you know each other prior (so there is some build up) or it s a first time allround thing.
I m not saying be promiscuous but if someONE does it for you and it is consenting on both sides - why not?
Sex is to be safely enjoyed but if the fireworks are there, I think go for it. As long as you are the kind of person who won t have regrets later and not expect a marriage afterwards (because you may never see that person again) - then I think do what you feel is right for you and the situation at the time.
Hell, if you both enjoy it and it makes you feel great, just go for it.
I don t believe I said all that but I think there are too many down moments in life and if being passionate with someone on a first date works for you or anyone else, hey, who am I to judge. Society judges people too quickly for doing things they frown upon but look at it as a 180, we all do things we probably have never done in real life.
SO WHAT'S TO JUDGE ? WE ARE ALL HUMAN WILL MAKE MISTAKES
BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOVE.
OK - confused yet: FIRST DATE SEX: CHEMISTRY/FIREWORKS; GO FOR IT!!!
Sometimes you have to live for the moment.
Another take on this is it's not a good idea. Some men will try to have sex with the woman on the first date and if he succeeds, rarely does it turn into a long lasting relationship and it shows a total lack of respect for the woman. Men want women who excercise restraint. I don t feel like it is a good thing until the relationship is solid. Making love only enhances a strong relationship and helps form a stronger bond. Doing it just for the sake of doing it in the beginning cheapens it and it is not a special thing shared between two people deeply in love.
Then again it's my views on life and the good morals & values I was brought up with as well as a good head on my shoulders too , but who am I to judge we are after all adults here and well live and let live don't have no regrets just go forward life is too short not to follow your heart. There is only one judge of us all thats God him self !!!! | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:38:54 AM | if you forgo sleeping with someone who you feel attracted to ... just because you feel that he wont respect you/ call back if you do ... and lets say your right and he does think your a nice girl because you told him no ... so he calls back and you fall for him ... and alls good ...think?
will his double standards and judgmental attitudes nor revel themselves in some other way I think you're onto something here, deerdog1.
She said she has done it on several occasions, not becasue she is a loose woman, but because she is a very intense, passionate woman (she is from Europe), and very intuitive, so if she feels it is right she will do it. A woman from any place on Earth can be intuitive, intense and/or passionate. My first time ever was with a guy from my class (military electronics school) that I'd never even gone on a date with! I chose him because it felt right. I've had other experiences like that over the years, and I don't regret any of them.
personaly i think that sex is a huge thing in a realtionhip so why bother wasting your time developing a relationship wih someone then find out they are realy bad in bed... with peronal experience i have been with somone for a while had realy bad sex then things just got weired... That's happened to me too! I was 18 and naïve, but it did happen, and I'll never forget the lesson! Test-drive before you buy!
Are you trying to trade commitment for sex? hmmm the guy runs You've got a point. I think that a lot of the complexes and phobias associated with first-date sex stem from this.
Maybe I rely a little too much on my intuition, but shouldn't you just know whether it's right or not? If you don't know, then examine the source of your confusion. If it has anything at all to do with how long they'll stick around, then maybe you're just being needy and trying to force the situation with someone whose background and/or ideology is incompatible with yours.
There's only one reason to have sex with someone: Because you want to have sex with them. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:00:48 AM | IMO - Don't sleep with someone on the first date... cuz if you two DO HOOK UP then get into a fight durring you new found relationship.. he'll bring it up about how you were a slut the first night you met him... and la la la. Wait to fall in love.. or be with someone who you honestly adore. If they don't call you back after your first date, sex or no sex.. Move on.
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:34:15 PM | Nope, not me. I WILL NOT have sex on the first date. I know I am old fashioned, but again, I think nice women appreciate a guy who isn't looking to have sex on the first date. My rule of thumb is when her and I are comfortable enough with each other, whether that is the third date, fourth, ninth, etc. I was raised to be a gentleman and if I get crap about it, so be it, I don't care. I know the right woman will appreciate it!!  | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:07:39 PM |
I think if a guy likes you he will call no matter if you sleep with him on the 1st date of 10th date.
Some will, some won't..depends on the guy..some will automatically not like you if you have sex on a first date, no matter what else they liked about you...some will like you more if you do...always comes down to...picking the people who are of like mind... | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:37:59 AM | | I know exactly what you are saying.....but I still go by the Chemistry if it works out it does if not then he was not teh man for me. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:43:05 PM |
There's only one reason to have sex with someone: Because you want to have sex with them. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? Amen!
MWG1978,
I think nice women appreciate a man who doesn't try and get them into bed on the first date. Whether they have consensual, spontaneous sex is a completely different story. I've NEVER initiated sex on a first date yet most of the first dates I've been on have ended in bed. I'm not saying I wait for her to suggest things. But there are plenty of times during a date when a look says it all. And if I engage in a look and she has that spark in her eye and there is all that chemistry blasting around the room I say something. Not a "wanna have sex", but I'll mention I can almost hear what's going through her mind, and almost always they'll respond with something along the lines of "what, me tearing your clothes off" or just plain "sex!". Most women want it. It's part of the reason we date. Whether they choose to give it up on the first date is up to them, but give the girl some space and let her relax around you and you'll find more often than not a girl will break those barriers herself. If I had a dollar for every time a girl said "I've never done this sort of thing before" I'd have enough to buy something I'm sure! Maybe a happy meal...maybe surf and turf. My secret! | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/28/2008 3:08:06 PM | | The main objective of a date is to get to know a person and have a great time. Sex should be a secondary thing unless both parties go to the date with the "preemptive strike" mentality. Chemistry should not be a reason to jump in the sac and have casual sex. If you go to the date with the "preemptive strike" mentality you would want to have sex regardless if you are looking for a serious relationship or not. You would push for sex, especially if you feel physically attracted to your date(not necessarily your date to you! lol). Do what you think is right and safe at the time. If two weeks later you regret it, it is already done! | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:17:37 PM | | whos to say whos right or wrong,i do exactly as you,leaves me totaly confused too.i wouldnt deny yourself any pleasure,if the guy comes back then you have cracked it,if he dosnt,then he wasnt worth it.iv tried for money and for love,neither worked if the other didnt want it to work,i tried one last time for love,and because of his previous wifes,he didnt trust me.so were does that leave me?im not sure.but know i dont have to feel guilty if i do have sex and they dont come back.sex is my choice. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 8/27/2008 12:51:50 PM | | Whether you sleep with them or not isnt going to effect chemisrty if its there but its not a good idea to do it on the first date...been there done that...and I know what your talking about you...alot of guys are players on here and if your too sexy and to confident automatically your a $lut....dont get that? alot of men are looking for a quick score on here and its hard to tell the good ones from the bad ones they put dating but in reality its intimate encounter I feel your pain good luck | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 8/27/2008 1:18:36 PM |
Chemistry should not be a reason to jump in the sac and have casual sex.
The key to being a successful player is to artificially generate that 'chemistry' on the first or one of the first few dates...
A player will therefore seem to be your 'soul mate'. He will be good at what he does...
He will listen to you, agree with you...he can do just about everything right...and tease you just enough to generate that chemistry...
A woman who feels enough 'chemistry' to have sex on the first date is likely being manuipulated to feel it...
And in a lot of cases, if the guy is a really good player, she'll never realise she was played from the beginning...
First date sex is also the fastest way for women to go to the "good time" list instead of the 'long time' list.... | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:34:39 PM |
I guess for me it comes down to this...every LTR I have ever had...came from sex on that first date.....I guess if I am not interested enough to go all the way the first time...I am never gonna be that interested in you..... I was married to Tom for 26 years...and then with Sam for 3........
I NEED A MAN WHO INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATES ME AND PHYSICALLY EXCITES ME.
and I don't see going into six months of dating to only see things don't work in the bedroom....cause that is a big part of a relationship to me.....
and its all good....If I never catch my man..LOL......I am happy......I love POF........it has provided me with many a one night stands....some true friendships......and yes even my last LTR.
I think I'm in lust. lol | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 9/9/2008 3:46:40 PM | There's no hard-and-fast rule (pun intended) for sleeping with someone quickly.
If you liked them the morning after send them a nice "thank you" email or text to let them know. This is the most important part of continuing a good first date.
Which reminds me of a joke...
Q: Why don't debutantes attend gangbangs?
A: Because they have to spend literally hours the next day writing thank you notes. | |
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