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| Return On Investment
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:06:13 PM | if u play dead a lion wont eat you; it'll try sniff you for some life. The fun is in the chase.
but if u DON'T KNOW HOW TO play chase dude'll just give up all together.
there'r different dudes with different skill levels. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:42:06 PM | If you sleep with a guy on a first date because everything seems so right.,he never calls . If you don't sleep with him he never calls. The thing I hear from friends is if you sleep with them and they are looking for happily ever after they think you sleep with everyone, so it means nothing to you. If you don't sleep with them after a perfect date they think you are frigid. So how do you show a guy your interested and yes even really want him that way, but also let him know that you don't just fall in bed with every one.
Are you supposed to deny yourself the pleasure ?
I want a happily ever after relationship, and that has to include a good sex life.
Now that you have read this are you as confused as I am??
I think my question is, when is it safe to sleep with a guy you are interested in?
It sounds like you are referring to a guy with whom you would want a relationship. If a guy thinks a girl is "frigid" for not sleeping with him on the first night, then he never wanted a relationship with the girl in the first place. Why would you want a guy like that?
I agree that the guy probably won't consider the girl to be relationship material if she sleeps with him on the first date and will assume she's a skank and has done the same thing with many other guys.
If a guy really does like you and wants a relationship, he'll respect you a lot more if you don't sleep with him right away. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:19:39 PM | I think the comment "he never calls" if you have sex or not should be looked at.
You are saying he never calls because of (or not) the sex....... I think you need to look deeper!
Are you trying to trade commitment for sex? hmmm the guy runs
You obviously hold sex as some "relationship hold" over a guy. You must decide when to have sex but communication towards sex and your relationship with that "date" is lacking. Sex on the first date. hmmmm One night stand.
Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
Could it be the company you are keeping to begin with? | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:21:38 PM | If a guy really does like you and wants a relationship, he'll respect you a lot more if you don't sleep with him right away.
True... I don't respect guys who go to bed with me right away
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:23:25 PM | MSG 201
I guess we were thinking the same thing Deborah. I just went to post then saw your comments.
Is that Karma?
Where would you like to meet? | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:25:37 PM | I think that it is ok to sleep with someone on the first date if there is enormous chemistry. Not every date though. The thing I hate though is when a woman really likes you she won't sleep with you because you are a "keeper." And if she doesn't like you she won't sleep with you anyway. I have this friend that I have slept with off and on in the past for years but she used to come to me to get laid because she was horny and wouldn't sleep with the "keeper" because she didn't want to ruin it. I think that is really lame. Sex is a gift to humans as part of life. Unfortunately, alot of women have been burned by guys that will say anything to get laid and then they disappear. So, it ruins it for the guys that truly love women and want to share intimacy. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:02:44 PM | | if you slep with a guy on the first date, you just ruined your chance for a long term relationship, he will think you are way to easy, he may call again, but only for some more of what you gave out on the first date..way too soon..if he does not call after the first date that you did not sleep with him, he was only out to see if he could get some..and has not interest in a ltr..this is how a guys mind is.. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:44:44 PM | Jebus on a stick!
When will all you women get a clue.
It doesn't matter.
Fvuck him now, fvck him later if it was going to work it will if it wasn't it wont.
The only thing you change by fvcking him later is the amount of time you waste on developing a relationship or moving on to a relationship that might work.
Why is this so difficult to understand? | |
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| its a secret society all we ask is trust
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:29:57 AM |
if you slep with a guy on the first date, you just ruined your chance for a long term relationship, he will think you are way to easy, he may call again, but only for some more of what you gave out on the first date..way too soon..if he does not call after the first date that you did not sleep with him, he was only out to see if he could get some..and has not interest in a ltr..this is how a guys mind is..  this post is why i hate the internet lol.
but on a serious note... for some ppl, i dont think it really matters whether its first day, a month or 3 months.
like simmy86 says in 209 playing hard can make the other person get it from some place else.
..slept with off and on in the past for years but she used to come to me to get laid because she was horny and wouldn't sleep with the "keeper" because she didn't want to ruin it. I think that is really lame. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:45:06 AM | If she does it on the first date........does she do it with everyone on the first date???
Lookin for a nympho maniac is one thing.....someone to live with forever another???
No restraint at sex.......no restraint at other things???
Love at first sight........or just sex with someone??? | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:55:11 AM | | If anyone has sex on the first date, my question is: How do you know on a first date, if you even like them as a person? So, if you don't know if you even like them, how good could the sex be? Hummm, just wondering. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 8:44:41 AM |
kupcakes4you wrote: You should wait until the 3rd date
if you can keep his interest that long, it makes for better sex to wait.
I don't know if this would work for anybody else but I have to make
spending time with me so much fun that the other person will stick
around sex or no sex. Then I can string them along and take my time
putting out with little risk of them losing patience. This approach may
be especially helpful when you're dating people who have plenty of
attractive options. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:19:08 AM | Fleur de Lis,
You dont' respect guys that go to bed with you right away. How much does that say about your own self-respect, because you are going to bed with them right away also!!!
Why is this so hard to wrap one's head around?! Kazot pointed it out above. I've pointed it out I think a couple times. Others have as well. Whether it's now or later it won't change things. It's all in your head. It's this made-up ethic that we think we need to live by but it couldn't be further from the truth. I just can't seem to figure out why this is so fcuking difficult. If HE sleeps with you on the first date, YOU also slept with him! It's a two-way street ladies! Why is it you don't think he's easy? A question to the men who have this assinine way of thinking about sex.......why the hell do you think if a women gives up the goods on a first date that she's no longer relationship material?! What's wrong with you?! YOU FVCKED HER TOO YOU SLUT! Geez. Get over the narrow-mindedness people and embrace life. There's sex for the sake of sex and then there's sex with someone you like or care about or have feelings about. If it's a first date I doubt there's any feelings involved other than maybe some butterflies and excitement, but you probably like the person. In some cultures it's considered taboo to dine alone with a woman you are not married to. Yet we sit freely and eat and laugh and drink and tell stories but we can't get naked and fornicate?! Count me out of that life. I like being open to whatever the night brings.
Feedem,
If she does it on the first date........does she do it with everyone on the first date??? If you have sex with someone on a first date do you have sex with everyone else on a first date?! See above. I HATE this line of thinking. It'd be different if she came on to you and you said "whoa, I don't do that on a first date" and you were turned off by the girl. That's understandable. But all this talk about "if she sleeps with me on the first date the relationship is over". GROW A SET AND SAY NO AND STAND TRUE TO YOUR BELIEFS YOU COWARDS! Perhaps these people are just worried this may be the last time they see the inside of a vagina for a long time so better make use of the chance while they have it. | |
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| :laugh:
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:27:53 AM |
True... I don't respect guys who go to bed with me right away  | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:21:20 AM | I might suggest talking about sex and what you are really looking for. I have had great sex and great times with women who were not "That in " to me a a possible "boyfriend" but we had a great time as "booty-calls" and as friends. I admit they were not my physical ideal (although they were very attractive) Nor was I exactly what they were looking for. Because we had the gall to put our cards on the table we both knew what to expect. We are still friends so that goes to show with adult agreement and proper boundries things can work out well.
Men are just as conflicted and confused as women and get the same bad advice! | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:32:58 AM | Why so many mixed messages?
Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Because the milk is soo good!
" I don't respect a guy who goes to bed with me on a first date?" What a negative attitude:perhaps the men pick up that they have been used. | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:08:53 PM | I was just perusing the comments when I saw comment # 92 by Marilyn Merlot:
This reminds me of the time I was on a date with a guy. Everything was going fine until he came back from the restroom and called me a drunken wh@re! Just because he caught me making out with a guy at the bar. Come on, I am sure it was not the first time it happened to him. I just don't understand why he would have to call me names. I am a high class lady! How rude! He really needs to work on being a gentleman!
Was that post a joke? A high class lady wouldn't make out with some random dude she just met when she's on a date with a different guy who is at the bar buying her drinks! I would not have called you a "drunken wh@re," although I probably would have thought that to myself while quickly ending the date. | |
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| only on plenty
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:34:55 AM |
Was that post a joke? A high class lady wouldn't make out with some random dude she just met when she's on a date with a different guy who is at the bar buying her drinks! I would not have called you a "drunken wh@re," although I probably would have thought that to myself while quickly ending the date.  @post 92 | |
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| only on plenty
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:09:01 AM | deborah812
I have to assume if this is the best milk he has ever had he would want to buy the cow to get the milk all for himself......LMAO:::::::
I am not looking for a life time....... if it happens it happens..... I am quite happy with my life....... hell if they don't call and the whole date was good... I will........ yeah sometimes if you have sex on a first date....... thaey are not interested in being movie buddies....... Sometimes.... they want to explore what else there is to you...... in either case..... I am enjoying my extended stay on POF..... and have met oddles of great people......... some I haven't even slept with...LMAO! | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:23:52 AM | I don't believe any of this. I know several couples who are now married that slept together on the first date - some were one night stands!!
It depends on the two people involved. If you are open minded, then this won't matter. Doesn't matter what mommy and daddy told you.
Everyone has a different set of beliefs - look for someone who shares yours.
Here's the thing for me: I'm looking to bring my sex life to a higher level - that requires trust, intimacy and yes commitment. A one night stand or sleeping around just won't do it for me.
The fun is in the chase. but if u DON'T KNOW HOW TO play chase dude'll just give up all together.
Yeah, but according to the threads on here, the men don't feel they should be chasing women! Can we please have some consistency and admittance to behaviour that we do instinctively? Keep it simple slappy.... | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:15:10 PM | Its a lose/lose situation.........
MSG 211....Kazot.........Well put despite the bluntness within. In that case, you have the ones that say I'm not like other guys or no two guys are alike..........puleeese....... | |
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| Sleeping with some one on a first date
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:26:16 PM | If you want a relationship it is best to show self restraint. I didn't make the rules...but, it seems to me if you give a guy what he wants too early he will lose interest. Men like something new...they like variety and they like a challenge. They also have it drilled into their head that if something is worth anything then you must work for it. A man who is longing to have sex with you will be much better when you do get to the point of having a relationship. He will appreciate you that much more.
Don't believe the posts above from men who say it does not matter. It does. I know it for a fact. If you sleep with someone immediately do not expect that a long term relationship will develop. Because more often than not it won't. That is common sense and I believe most men will agree with that. If you are intending to have a relationship you are just going to get hurt. Because men are much better at seperating what is sexual from what is love. Women should do that also. You just can not expect a relationship with someone you immediately sleep with. Women tend to have different hormones that cause them to bond to who ever they are sleeping with, and the guy can be a complete loser...men are completely different that way. Men can look at it as something purely physical...and if you sleep with a man immediately that is what he will do. Where most women will be thinking about his beautiful eyes, his sexy gaze and his amazing touch. Men just don't really think like this as women do. So, men should be more understanding if a woman does not want to sleep with you on a first date. I think most men are. If a man does not respect this then he really only wants to sleep with anyways...all the more reason to hold off.
I know I am generalizing...because, I think women can learn to compartmentalize also. But, men have had a lot more experience with this and it is easier for them. I just would be aware that if you sleep with someone right away do not expect a long term relationship out of it.
It would be great if we lived in this idealistic world where none of this matters. But, it does... Anyone dating will tell you that. So you might as well play it safe and wait until you know who you are dealing with. If anything by waiting to have sex with someone you do find out if they are truly interested. Because if all they want is sex...they will not stick around. Waiting serves a lot of purposes if you want a relationship. You then get to know someone other than just on a sexual level. It depends on what you are looking for.
Again, it does matter....do not let anyone tell you differently. | |
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