| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:57:16 PM | Be careful of herbs if you take any prescriptions. Check for known interactions first.
Welbuterin (sp?) can help. I normaly have a pretty high sex drive. But when I started trying to quit smoking (oh crap I hope this doesn't cause my mail box to fill with offers) it went off the charts! I literaly couldn't function, because I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. My doctor prescribed the generic for welbuterin (at half the dose typicaly prescribed for use as an antidepressant) because it is also commonly prescribed for quiting smoking, AND dampens the sex drive. It made all the difference!
I'm wondering how accurate this is
My only advice is to stop drinking all together because alcohol raises a womans testosterone levels so this is compounding your problem. because I do drink regularly for health benifits. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:39:40 AM | I understand what you mean.
My problem is almost the same and then to top it off, sex makes me horney..lol
oh well, so when I solve my problem, I only make it worse.
I would suggest finding someone you are sexually compatible with - this person does not need to be involved in your child's life.
Or
You could do the same thing my sister did. Get overly religious and pray it away.
If you're constantly thinking about sex, you cannot get into "mommy mode". And that is not good for your child either.
Whatever works.
Lady Jag | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 12/31/2007 12:05:15 AM | | You might be suffering from a little bout of depression from the divorce. Many people become very randy in the grips of depression. Also many depression meds will lower your sex drive. I would recommend talking to someone about it on a one to one basis. A therapist or counselor can properly assess you. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:36:20 AM | | Well OP...you just need to find a good councelor, because it does appear that you need it from what you are telling us. Atleast you are being open about this, and not in denial about needing help about it like many in your age bracket are. This so called "mid life crisis" I guesse is a normal occurance apparently, but that has to be controlled and kept in check, or that can get you into some trouble if not, just like anything sexual that is not controlled. So I do support you in wanting to seek help, and I am sure your husband would appreciate it also. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:40:30 PM | OP, I do not think there is anything weird about your raised libido.
While there are no quick effective fixes, I must say I totally find it interesting that some people on here feel the need to medicalise your situation. Looking for drugs, whether prescribed or across the counter- sounds like building a culture of dependence. I may not have an answer, but I surely know that treating it as an illness is not the answer either, because this is not an illness.
Keeping busy, using some form of distraction (physical exercise or activities that leave you tired) might help. I am sure some people whose libido is in their boots will envy you, except it is not possible to share yours. Of course that does not make it any better for you, but the point is, if someone out there envies you for it, it must be positive to some extent. Except the timing is somewhat wrong for you.
Keep your chin up, get a 'pillowmate' and allow him to help you...Good luck | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:26:50 AM | | What's wrong with thinking about sex all the time?? I think about sex all the time....true, I'm a guy...I'm single...I'm a nerd...but there's nothing wrong with it as far as I can see. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:31:58 AM | | And I thought it was only men that had that so called problem......Hmmm...I am perplexed to think that this issue is a bad thing. I would love to talk to you about the problem and see what we can come up with for answers....*smiles*....Keep a good thought is what i always say. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:45:30 AM | | Personally, the idea to me would to have someone safe, that knows its just physical, no future. Yes its politcally incorrect, but if your honest noone gets hurt, your not sleeping with a bunch of people, and you both get to enjoy sex instead of it being a "problem" | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:42:09 PM | | I hear you sister, Xanax, exercise, booze, and occupy your mind. Get another degree or read a book or something. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:36:30 AM | | Why are you so worried about it? You're basically on the way to your own life again so having other relationships shouldn't be an issue. Although I can see why you might be worried I think you're trying to blame others. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:43:51 AM | I think her point is to control herself so she can make proper decisions. If you speak to other women with this problem, you will find that it is a very uncomfortable feeling and makes a woman very counter-productive and it is very difficult to focus on normal everyday life. Unless a woman decided to be a total slut, it causes tension and huge frustration. It keeps you very restless. Granted, I love sex as most people do, but you have to be able to maintain a certain amount of normalcy to enable yourself to have a healthy relationships with a man. Imagine having sex with a man that you really like, he doesn't do something for you or you argue about something trivial, and because of these urges and because you had a taste of what you wanted and if the relationship was not solid you might end up "accidently" sleeping with someone else because of these animalistic urges and screwing the whole thing up rather than working things out and letting it play out as it should. Sex is very addictive amongst other things.
I even thought about taking medication for it, however when the time comes when I actually find a man I may be compatible with, I don't want to deal with the side effects and numbing my sexuality, and am ready to embrace these urges with the right man. Personally, if I did embrace these urges with men in general, there are issues that will come about. Men think women get catty, but men like to beat eachother up when "they" think they have been violated (i.e. meaning the woman that he likes is sleeping with or has eyes for another man).
So, the best thing to do for me, and maybe the OP (consult your physician) is just to sedate myself a little so I can concentrate on myself. No amount of toys, fingers, or whatever can replace the intimacy of a man. At least the right one.
I read something about 6 months ago in regards to when women get a surge of testosterone in their system they have a tendency to desire more penetration. As for myself, in my past I have had a collection of toys from my ex when we were long-distance to ensure that I take care of myself, and I find nothing is like the real thing. However, I like toys that vibrate and only utilize it for clitoral stimulation. When it comes to penetration it has to be the real thing (7.5-9" he he he).
Love on Fire: I didn't read OP's profile, but if she had a husband this would not be an issue, if he does they probably should not be married to begin with. I think he would be fine with her the way she is. However, a counselor would be helpful for her future husband or give her the opportunity for one. Because you don't want her getting hit by a car or something while she is trying to cross the street because she is delirious and have sex on the mine. I know exactly how she feels, fortunately for myself I haven't had any for a little while. Once you get some it is very difficult to not continue to get it when your hormones are flaring up. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:07:24 PM | Yep, Saltpeter would be the analog for a guy. I'm not sure what effect it has on women though.
I remember getting a dose of that when I went through basic, and I understand the reasons why they did it (one less thing for you to have to worry about, and allowed you to concentrate your efforts where they were needed). let's just say that about week 7 it started to wear off and you could see the testosterone levels in the barracks spike when anything remotely female passed within half a mile.
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:08:58 PM | Divorce sure didn't ramped me up. It killed my libido. Still looking for it. A chick can flash me in a restaurant, and I'd just go back to my meal. I went from salivating at the smell of a woman to !nothing! What is freaking me out is that I don't care!! I've always been picky, but this is ridiculous.
Hey OP, wish your extra my way will you? | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:46:24 PM | I read the whole tread, in the below text you may find my interpretation - a summary, an explanation, perhaps even an answer.
In the mind, body spirit analogy I believe that your body is ahead of your brain (to often associated with males) . You have been with a single partner for a long time. Therefore the conscious mind does not accept encounters with other males - yet, while your body has already accepted the fact.
The the usage of toys does not give you the emotional release, something that can only be obtained with another person.
You mentioned an active lifestyle in the 80's, perhaps the wheel has turned full circle - hence the normal needs/fears you are facing.
The way I see fear is as follows; you get that butterflies feeling in your stomach, the aim is not to ignore the fear, it's to get the butterflies to fly in formation. In other words, work through the fear - face it. I suffer from a fear of heights, so I started skydiving. With every jump the fear did not disappear, if it did I would not have jumped, because that/your fear is there for a reason.
There is plenty fish here, do not regret your choices, whichever one you make. The next phase in your live is about to begin.
Happy fishing! | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:19:25 PM | | WOW!! That all kinda made sense to me. I no longer regret my posting, I have received some really good advice. My biggest fear was losing resepect for myself, but no one here seems to think that will be the problem. I seem to have calmed down a bit since my last post. I have been exercising alot(lost 25 pounds), focusing on my work, feeling really good about myself and looking forward to the future. Even though this divorce thing has been a TOTAL bummer, and it's only 10% completed, I know that it's my first step to a new life. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:07:01 PM | DanceGirl64 something else you might want to think about - and perhaps find a professional to talk about some - is the rollercoaster your life is on right now.
Several other posters here have touched on this but no one has really dug into it that I saw.
You were in a relationship for years, however unhealthy it may have been there is still some "stability" knowing it's there. Now all of a sudden you're breaking free. Divorce is a HUGE lifechanging event - in the top five of all lists you see on the subject. You're feeling the loss of companionship, even if that companion wasn't really there much of late. You're feeling stress over the uncertainty of your future. You're feeling concern over your attractiveness in general (don't worry, that's natural and EVERYone deals with that during a divorce). You're feeling hurt and anger and frustration and a thousand other things all piling on top of each other.
What is the ultimate act of acceptance and love? What is the most soothing expression of stability and security?
It may simply be a physical/chemical thing although I rather doubt it. You might be experiencing the physical manifestation of your emotional/mental turmoil. Again I'm sure you're not the only one dealing with this kind of thing. Take a look around the internet for divorce support groups and I'm sure you'll find a thousand other people - men and women - struggling with the exact same feelings.
It may well be that you're going to have to find a chemical/physical means of dealing with the mental/emotional stresses right now. Kind of like taking an aspirin on a stressful day. But it will help some to recognize where those stresses are coming from.
Then again I could be way out in left field and this is simply a normal libido level for you at this point in your life and for your next relationship you need to find a, uhhh.... "marathon runner" so to speak....  | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:24:33 AM | Hey Dancegirl,
i have lived with this problem since i was young, only the females of my family have issues after puberty. Our bf's seem to think it is great for the first month of so and then grow weary and start whinging, yes it is a real problem. most people may laugh but i have been searching for an anti - lust treatment for ages. I dont like to take pills/ and herbs seem to make it all worse (no matter what they say). there are only two things i might suggest... 1 find a hobby that makes your adreline run... i do fire twirling, 2. everytime you feel "excited" picture someone you truly find unattractive naked. I find either one can work but depending on mood. I also play a djambe "african drum" which can help moderate the moods! i hope i helped? good luck mate! (i am in my 30's) | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:57:22 PM | My problem is that I feel like a dog in heat. I think about sex 24/7, I dream about sex, and every man I see I want to screw.
I'll give you points on billboarding thats about it.
send us mail......w..w..w.likewegiveadam.calm..... | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:16:42 PM | You are correct about the alcohol. It's a biological fact that alcohol creates testosterone in a female which intensifies the urge to have sex. That explains alot to those whom never heard it.
As for your problem, I suggest doing something that you enjoy, a hobby or try something new that you've always thought of, but haven't so far. Idle time makes people think more, so try to occupy your mind with things far from sexuality. Research, comedy clubs, visit a relative you haven't seen in awhile, plan things to do with your child.
Hang in there and remember you are doing it for your child. Nothing is more important.
(This is my first posting on here, I hope I've helped in some way.) | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:04:03 AM | | your age coupled with a traumatic lifestyle interruption can give the libido a huge boost. first, u are nearing the end of child bearing age and 'ol mother nature is screaming for you to procreate. next, you now have time to think about things other than seeing your ex is kept happy... its about your happiness now. drugs, herbs, shrinks, etc. all of these cost money and will do no more long term than waste resources and a lot of your time. i am with you on the need to keep yourself on the "straight and narow" till the divorce and custody stuff is settled, as well as making sure your child knows her mom isn't a slut by crawling into the sack with everyone you see. as some others have suggested, taking an occasional holiday without your child might help. don't know the circumstances but perhaps even the ex would like to spend some time with the child too, allowing you some freedom to excercise a discreet sexual encounter with a person you feel safe with once in a while. while not a perfect answer, its at least food for thought, not saying go total 'ho, but rather allow yourself some controlled release once in a while. can be no worse than driving yourself crazy just thinking about it. wishing you luck with it and hope you feel better soon. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:41:05 PM | Stress and fear of the unknown (needing to feel in control, needing comforting) may be affecting you in this way, but you could also consider:
1.) Having your thyroid checked out
2.) Being put on anti-depressants (they can take the sharp edges of desire off and taken at a high enough dose, prevent orgasm).
3.) Do some things just for you--get back into an old hobby you used to love; such as, photography.
4.) Go Swimming or go for bike rides by yourself
Doing things for yourself can raise your self-confidence and take away some of the fear and stress. | |
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| need to LOWER my sex drive
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:42:43 PM | Oh, I feel for you, dancegirl.....
I went through the exact same thing when my marriage ended 6 years ago.... I was right in the middle of my "dirty thirties" and the libido kicked into overdrive and then some!! lol Went to my doc for a different reason and she suggested depo-provera shots in my butt every 3 months. It is a form of birth control, but also used to help with difficult periods which is what I suffered from terribly. Doc's biggest concern was that one side effect is that it pretty much kills your sex drive. Well, newly single with a 2 year old and 6m old baby to care for, a sex life was no where near the top of my priority list! lol So for 3 years, I got these shots, had no monthly periods to deal with, no PMS and no sex drive. Been off them for 3 years and.......... well........ I guess I just picked up where I left off! lol The break did give me time to get my life in order again without the stress of thinking about sex all the time.
Oh, and guys..... I do have empathy for those that have been living like this since puberty.... don't know how you function so well!! lol | |
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