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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 1/22/2008 10:58:50 AM | I'm quite honest! But not totally honest! In this day and age
it's too risky! I was always told by my parents to be honest
(not that they were!) and realized quite quickly, that this is
a foolish choice! You must use discernment! And, do ones
best, not to harm another!
Life is a game, and we are all players! It's the losers that always
seem to whine about the game and it's players! I really, really
doubt, that all the people on here that insist on no players, and
no games, would stand up to scrutiny. I would bet, that many
are just trying to find a handicapped opponent! | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/3/2008 8:01:26 PM | Ok just becasue women like us  bad boys doesen't mean there are women out there who arn't intrested in you good boys. HaHa I am just kidding. But any how,who ever made the comment in the psot about the women who get with bad boys complaining about the way they are treated and all, I want to tell you its bull. In the past 5 relationships I have been in I was the one who was hurt and taken advantage of. So for the record the men in this world who have been placed in yet another stupied stereotype, The Badboy, are not all bad or mean. Sometimes a single bad choice can end you up in a stereotype that is not at all you. Think about the stereotypes you have been thrown in, like in high school or where ever. It hurts me that people like to try to place me in any stereotype, but my actions in my past for a breif time are not my actions of today. I am a nice guy and yes I try to be honest in every steep of my life. Yes, sometimes a persons fear of rejection intercepts the part of us that says to go ahead and be honest, but if we were totally honest with you ladies when we walked up to you  you would never give us the time of day and never have the chance to see that we are great guys. I guess I am just running on now huh? So am going to close. Have a beautiful Day | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/3/2008 8:12:39 PM | Where have all the true and honest guys gone? - Montana Girl
> You are indulging yourself in the pointless luxury of self-deception, wallowing in self-pity and compounding the universal mythos that men are 'bad'.
> Big bad men. Big bad wolf at the door. Uncaring men. Uncouth men. Nasty men.
> It is time to get real, as they say in the vernacular. Be real to yourself. Make your own life "interesting and fun", as you put it. Remember who you are as an individual soul on this earth plane as you search for spiritual growth, and forget that all the true and honest guys have 'gone somewhere'. They haven't. Neither have the untrue and dishonest guys.
> - Peter. | |
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Deev12
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Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 232 | |
| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/3/2008 11:50:45 PM | The True and Honest guys are where you women aren't looking.
There are lots of true and honest single guys who would kill to have a good woman in their lives, you just have to think... maybe they're shy, maybe they're clueless, maybe they're not the type to "go out and pick up chicks".
Look in the places you don't expect them. | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:08:56 AM |
Why bother looking? You find a "true and honest guy" and you'll just want to be his "friend" he's either not good looking enough, not rich enough, not exciting enough. But he's ok to be friends with after all he's true and honest and no threat and always good as a shoulder to cry on. After all you wouldn't want to ruin the friendship by becoming lovers, who would you run to or blame then for everything going wrong?
You cant have it both ways. I am sure there is the mythic perfect male who is like a greek or norse god, who embues al the qualities both shallow and deep that you want... But he is only going to seek the same things in a woman and I am sorry most women arent all that either.
It is rare to have every good trait and none of the bad traits that women and men desire( i.e. highly improblible, chances are it is near impossible) And some one with all those traits, is going to look for those exact same traits and see you are lacking them and move on. When you find someone who meets the traits "you claim" to want, you probably throw him in the friend zone cause he is not attractive either, or rich, or having something superficial to go with his "nice, honest demeanor. | |
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D_lily
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 234 | |
| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:26:34 AM | I guess that is the hundred million trillion question isn't it. I think people have been lied to so much and in today's standard all the meaning to the words we used to know the definitions too have.......changed. I find more and more I would be thinking I knew the meaning of a word or term just to find out I needed the updated version.
I mean Friend, Lover, Boyfriend , Girlfriend, Relationship even if two people live together one can actually believe "they didn't know they couldn't see someone else". Yep, methinks it's a sad state of affairs out there in the wild blue.....
If it confuses you "stay out of the conversation" I heard on a movie one time. I am to old to adopt to the New Wave. I'm leaving to the children. They have "much more success" in their relationships.  | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:43:34 AM |
The True and Honest guys are where you women aren't looking.
There are lots of true and honest single guys who would kill to have a good woman in their lives, you just have to think... maybe they're shy, maybe they're clueless, maybe they're not the type to "go out and pick up chicks".
Look in the places you don't expect them.
I guess that is the hundred million trillion question isn't it. I think people have been lied to so much and in today's standard all the meaning to the words we used to know the definitions too have.......changed. I find more and more I would be thinking I knew the meaning of a word or term just to find out I needed the updated version.
I mean Friend, Lover, Boyfriend , Girlfriend, Relationship even if two people live together one can actually believe "they didn't know they couldn't see someone else". Yep, methinks it's a sad state of affairs out there in the wild blue.....
If it confuses you "stay out of the conversation" I heard on a movie one time. I am to old to adopt to the New Wave. I'm leaving to the children. They have "much more success" in their relationships.
You are both right. men and women look for what they think they want not what they know they need. I do it, I am no hypocrite. The problem is too many of us seek superficial things over what is really important, but you can not argue to some one who thinks tat because they fit a certain ideal, that they are settling for less to obtain a superficial lover. they gloss over everything bad and claim "I'M NOT SETTLING. I am perfectly happy!" Then why havent they found true love yet? Wy do they put people who do not meet the superficial faulse Ideals, in the friend zone rather than date them. Cause they want it all, but all does not exist and like I said before, there is always someone better. | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 1:30:57 AM | OP.. I don't know what you are dealing with.. truth and honesty is but a part of a relationship.
I want that, well I expect that, that part is a given and most times easily found out as not true or honest.
I won't settle for less than the given and more.
The men who get my attention and who I give equal attention to know this.
Again, I don't know your circumstance, I have not had a problem with figuring out early on who is true and honest. Those qualities are something that are kinda obvious.
If the guy is full of bla bla romantic crap, he has no clue. Not at my age.
That romantic stuff is what belongs to people who are lovers, not on line maybes.
Even then, I would laugh at a guy who tried pulling romantic lines on me on our first meeting.
I do admit to knowing first hand a guy was full of shit, but he was fun or served some other need at the time and yeah, I kinda 'fell' at one point, always knowing better.
That's the key, have fun, keep your eyes open and just accept what it is as it is. Humor the idiot if you are getting more than he is.. that worked for me once. | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:40:17 AM | Well now... Montana Girl...
Have you heard of boundaries? What you were communicating is one of the 5 universal languages of LOVE called touch. Whomever you'd met, spoke something else obviously.
I'm not sure if I'd want someone all over me on the first date, actually let me clarify that, Pamela Anderson would be an exception.... LOL just kidding... (shallow thinking...) 
They say that women are more perceptive in reading non-verbal communcation like body language, what were their bodies telling you and were you listening? It's obvious that the one person you were talking about did not have what he was saying and what his body said were not in sync. That's why he left... First he told you what you wanted to hear and then he skidaddled... Outta sight...Vamanous... Goodbye!!!
Next I'd ask about your communication, sometimes people talk and talk and talk and talk and they don't stop to listen to what the other person is trying to say. I dated someone and that's all she did, I'd nod my head, answer uhm, yes, or no and she did not even give me an opportunity to be a part of the conversation. Did I want this for the rest of my life... NOPE!!!
Hang in there, there are lots of us TRUE and HONEST guys out there, you just have to learn the 5 languages of Love and learn to read body languages, finally communication is a two-way street. Now what were you guilty of?
People who tell you that they are "affectionate & romantic" are probably just THAT, however its like defining a reasonable person, the word "Reasonable" has different meanings to everyone, culturally, spiritually, relgiously, romantically, affectionately and so on. When you meet people, are they the type of people that are open to hugging? My father never told me he loved me until he was on his deathbed, yet I knew he did because he showed it by other ways... I've told my kids I love them everyday and I openly show it. Teach children how to communicate and about boundaries, guide them and they will learn the rest, caution them and tell them about the potential pitfalls, when they see they are at an impass they will move on... so should you...
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:27:05 AM | Personally, in case everyone isn't noticing it...there appears to be a pattern here.
The men are saying, the women are the problem. The women are saying the men are the problem. So, instead of focusing on the problem, how about we find a solution to the problem.
Allow me to suggest some things, and see if they don't work better for each of you:
1. Everyone tells you that if you play hard to get, the guy/gal will be attracted to you.
However, what they don't tell you is the sequel to that dilemma.
If you play hard to get, and then you change, because you start feeling something for that person, then you will no longer be attractive to them, once you change.
So, it's best to be one's self, right from the start! That way, if the person wants someone who plays games, such as 'hard to get'...well, you're right...you won't get them. But, you will get the one who doesn't play games or 'hard to get'..and probably the one who is better for you. Quantity is not always best, quality is what counts!
2. Some say, you should hold off on sex, some say...go with the flow. I say, if you sleep with someone in the beginning, you're taking the chance of being another overnight statistic; here today, gone tomorrow. However, if you don't jump in the sack within the first few days, then, you will get to know the person first. That will allow you to think a bit straighter and without all the confusion.
Just because someone is ok in the bedroom, doesn't mean you will want to spend the rest of your life with them. So, why add to the dilemma of dating, by sleeping with them, without getting to know them first? However, if you're comfortable with just sleeping around...go for it! Personally, I don't want to feel like a whore, so I prefer NOT to sleep with every tom,****, and harry I just met.
3a. If you stick to all the dating rules that others propose, you're bound to get into trouble. If you feel comfortable calling someone after the first date, do so -- why wait? Are you waiting just to make the person think you're not who you are?? Can someone say "game"? And, what happens when the person figures that game out? You're toast, that's what happens. If you don't want to call the person, don't, but don't do it because you're trying to ignite a feeling in them. If that's the case, you're manipulating someone else. Personally, I'll just be myself. That way, the person will either like me, for me, or they won't, and if they don't, I wouldn't want them.
3b. If you don't act like you're interested and you are -- again, you're playing a game. Not only with yourself, but with the other party too. No wonder everyone is so confused. Everyone is trying to play games with each other.
Picture this scenario: You're in a club. You see an attractive (guy/gal) person. You look their way. They look yours. You both know you're interested, but neither of you get up, because you assume that if the other person was just as interested in you, that they would make the first move. It's a stalemate, and no one does anything about it! Someone else walks over, grabs your attention, the game continues and neither person goes home happy because each ends up with someone they had no interest in, in the beginning. So...be yourselves! Go over, say hello and stop waiting for the rest of the world to say it first. If they don't like you, stand down, move aside, lick your wounds and move on. Someone else is bound to see in you that which you are.
I always live by the below statement and since I never saw it printed before, I'll assume I made it up myself:
"Those who have a mind, CAN get through life; those who choose to use it, WILL succeed!"
"Dating101 - The Reality" | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:53:14 AM | Point by point
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For sometime now...I have given my all
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For how long? And what have you actually DONE.
Plenty of girls hand round bars sending the gusy they don't fancy packing and genuinely thaink THAT'S giving their all. I got news for you. It aint'.
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to meet someone honest and true, especially to themselves...not to mention me with their feelings. I know we all get tired of the head games and bla bla bla. When I tell someone how much I care..it comes from my heart.
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Once agian not what have you said. What have you DONE?
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So many people seem like they are afraid to say how they really feel. I can understand that when you've been shot down and made a fool of so many times and are gun shy.
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Understand????????? Are you kidding? Are you even aware that one in theirteen divorced men are left such emotional wrecks that they suicide? If you are not even aware how can you possibly hope to "understand"????
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I myself am alittle gun shy myself now. The guys say oh how interested they are in you..and how they couldn't find a sweeter person, then turn around and boom..they are gone without a word. What the heck is up with that?? I don't get it.
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if you don't get it then you don't understand
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I am an easy going person and go with the flow with things...Im not a drama queen for sure.
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Arent you?
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I try to make life interesting and fun. I keep thinking "maybe the guy doesn't know how to handle being spoiled or all the attention"
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What did you do to "spoil" the last guy you dated?
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I don't know...wish I did.
They also tell you they are affectionate and romantic people....but they aren't in reality. I feel if you have to ask for a hug or for some kind of affection then its not there to begin with...right?
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Excuse me ! if you don't mind. And unwelcome hug, without asking, is indecent assault in half the communities and attempted rape in the other half. Of course he's going to aak first. Get real.
A mini skirted girl in Princtown Univerversity, a few years back, went complaining to the deans offcice, about a "mini rape" when a guy compimented her on her legs.
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You find out things that were false in meeting and talking all that time. Why can't people just be honest about their feelings when they find someone they can feel comfortable talking to?? If you really enjoy their company....just tell them. If you feel that other person really enjoys being with you...tell them back how you feel. I mean...how else are we going to get over this hump? You won't!! If I sense that the other person isn't interested
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Sense? Stop kidding yourself.
You can't sene anything. Thats why cavemen developed language.
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like I am...its time to pull back and give them space and let it go...even tho it breaks my heart.....which I've had done soooooooo many times.
I just don't get it....you try and be sweet and kind, but its never enough it seems. | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:55:40 PM | | Hi, I agree with you. These jerks give you the line they're kind, caring and I think all they care about is sex and themselves. I haven't met anyone yet that can turn me on, since I lost the love of my life, a gorgeous, witty, talented man(Michael Landon's cousin) and we never played games. Today the men are so particular, they want you younger, richer, and thinner. I wonder what their ex-wives were like. So many of them are players that I gravitated toward married men. I'm in love with my fitness instructor who plays games, but at least I know I don't have a chance with him. Otherwise, I've been rejected many times, but am told I'm pretty and witty by people who know me. Obviously, these men are looking for women that don't exist, their fantasy. The older they get, the fussier they are and I won't settle! I guess you just have to get putting yourself out there and hope if you throw enough poop against the wall, some of it will stick! Good luck to us both... Paula | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:31:35 PM |
Anybody have any input on this??? I would appreciate it...thanks .
Okay, you asked for it.
Many times, women raise the bar so high, have so many restrictions, dating has become as pleasureable as buying a new car at the dealership. First, they have to check your credit, and pretty much pry into your life, a virtual anal exam just to decide if they want to PERMIT you the pleasure to do busisness with them? screw that!
Im sorry, but this seems to be ANOTHER self-pity thread. I would like to ask you a question........how many e-mails do you leave unanswered, just because you may not have a inertal knee-jerk reaction to? Or the old adage, "oh he's not my type"
I think the mistake you are making is very simple. You seem to have a predetermined type of person you are attracted to. But alas, it seems to not get the result you want.
Then, the logical conclusion to your problem is to date someone who you would never consider dating in the past, or someone who you would normally throw in the "friend" pile. Dig into your unanswered emails, and strike up a conversation with the guy you frst thought was too, "fat, hairy"..........whatever, and keep an open mind. Much to your surprise, you just may find a "True and Honest Guy" ! IF.....YOU KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
When some women ask "Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone''??? what they actually mean is " Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone, that is hunky, rich, and drop dead hansome."? These women usually end up with a heartless jerk.
All that glitters isn't gold girls. and the cold hard fact is this. Most handsome people dosent view relationships in the same sacred esteem than just "plain" people. If you are a looker, man or woman, getting a new date is no problem.
Then there is women who's profile look a resume. They raise the bar so high, they don't realize that the "man" they seek only exists in their own mind. We are human beings, and full of faults. once we can look past the intinal attraction, and into the heart, then and ONLY then can we start to build a life with a mate.
Vain brute attraction is great for a roll in the hay, but is not the stuff to build a relationship on. When the passion cools off (and it will) the age fades away the beauty, what then?
All the best
Tom | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:15:55 PM | Although I must agree with most of what Tom has said I think it is true of men and women
We spent so much time trying to achieve what the world tells us we miss what are hearts are
telling us. Nothing man creates will last!! Its not easy being true and honest it takes a lot of
hard work , soul searching , and perseverance . It also takes two people in a relationship to
have a REAL-lationship. We all have a choice to be Human beings or just
Humans be in whatever .
To all the honest and true men and women I tip my hat ,
Thank you
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:50:04 PM | Oh true and honest people are out here. The catch is they aren't the one that you find yourself attracted to.
Think about it. If all the people you find yourself attracted to aren't being true and honest then the problem doesn't lie with them. You are the one who picks who you go out with. You are the one who picks which mail you will reply to.
Figure out the common denominator. | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 5/22/2009 7:37:29 PM | I think that people judge by first impressions too harshly....and everyone needs to
r e l a x...be nice.....the most important things in life aren't things.... | |
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| Where have all the True and Honest Guys Gone?
Posted: 5/22/2009 7:53:28 PM | | This is what I dont get; Women always write at the head of their profiles, 'Looking for a nice guy' etc; etc; However, Most women never look any further than your profile picture. Which in itself is slightly contradictive. If you dont give people the chance to show themselves, You'll never know if they're nice or not?? Am I right, Or am I doing something wrong?? Face to face, Im a very confident person. I stand tall. But on here, I start to doubt myself. | |
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