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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:29:27 PM | Can a woman be financial baggage?
Can a man be financial baggage?
YES
Make sense to me, to be picky in this situation.
Is it about rights? no, who cares?
Its about one persons choice. | |
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Bona x
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Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:32:46 PM | Some of us have worked hard for what we have and are looking for someone with similar values and work ethics.
It probably hasn't occurred to you that by BOTH being financially secure ,at least responsible about the way they handle money,that money comes out of the equation and you can concentrate on just loving the person.
Put another way,take economics out of the process and what you have are two people that can then discover life together.
Most people on this site have a list of qualities they seek(whether on their profile or in their head) .I've seen some pretty demanding qualifications,if you don't meet them or think less of the person for seeking whatever quality it is they seek,you simply move on. Otherwise,you will tend to get bitter and jaundiced about life.
When that happens you hurt only yourself. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:33:29 PM |
I just find it HIGHLY offensive that men take offense or treat women like extra financial baggage and expect them to bring their own money into it with them. NOT untill ALL women are assured of good jobs.
But you apparently think it's okay for men to be expected to take on the financial burden for both of them, even though the men aren't assured of good jobs either. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:37:38 PM | | Yes plenty - ive been with two guys who are like that and they are looking for a mother that they can have sex with - keep away from them they are weak!!! they are looking to be looked after YUK!!! | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:37:51 PM | A relationship should be on as equal terms as possible. When you're young(er) and raising a family, one goes out to work and the other takes care of things at home. As the kids grow then the stay at home person goes to work to get all the stuff that couldn't previously be afforded.
Most of us on here have been there and done that, and maybe it's been a a financial struggle.
Anyone who states that they are financially secure may or may not be speaking the truth. People who are financially secure may have got that way by making sure they spend someone elses' money and not their own, so either way (and either sex) could just be after your money.
None of us (male or female) want to live in poverty, so for either sex to want to make sure they're not gonna get saddled with someone elses' debt is reasonable.
its kind of funny that many women preach about equal rights, then when we give it to them, well....thanks for that *cough*
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:41:32 PM | "Bring nothing to the table????"
What the F...K ! (expletive removed for the sake of decency) ....
Look at that comment-- bring nothing to the table... this is what TRULY sickens me about society and its structures.
Why should relationships be about "what I can get or what he can get?"
Its about unconditional love and surrender to another whom you trust. And I'm sorry if we've made societal choices that have ruinued our opportunties because we are so money hungry.
"Saddled with someone elses debt?" There's another one.... I'm sorry to say, we all have debts-- especially now. Sure I wouldnt want to date a gambler or someone who spends all their money on drugs or drink-- not talking about those exceptions- talking instead about people who simply size up potential mates as income-bringers.
I know its hard out there... but there has to be another way than to look at our potential loved ones (and thats what the search is really about finding) as a human being and NOT someone to size up for what he or she is worth to them financially. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:44:11 PM | | I think most are just trying to discourage potential "gold diggers". In my profile I only request someone who can and will pull their own weight. as long as they can do that I don't care what they do for a living. (as long as it's not Illegal, indecent, or immoral) But women do it too. I have passed on answering profiles requesting "professional career men only!" or similar things like that. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:44:15 PM | Why shouldn't men want financially secure women? Of course, the men who say this need to be financially secure, as well.
It is not a man's responsibility to support a woman.
It is not a woman's duty to support a man.
It is also not her duty to wear high heels, but it is fun.
I just find it HIGHLY offensive that men take offense or treat women like extra financial baggage and expect them to bring their own money into it with them. NOT untill ALL women are assured of good jobs.
Why should their expectations offend you? To simultaneously bemoan a lack of jobs and expect men to support women is a a feminist contradiction.
Not all men are assured of good jobs, either. I would not expect a man to "take care" of me--I have taken care of myself for the last nine years and haven't starved yet.
Women are NOT doing themselves favors when they allow or expect a man to support them.
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:45:00 PM |
to me its a mans role to be a care provider- what the woman brings in is extra.
No way. No how. Not in my world. IMO, it is every person’s responsibility to be able to take care of themselves. Since I became an adult, I never have and never will be dependent, financially or otherwise, on someone else. I don’t ever want to have to worry what would become of me; how I would pay the bills, where I would live or where my next meal was coming from, should my partner, for whatever reason, no longer be in my life.
Again IMO, this archaic and outdated concept of the expectation that some man should look after you for your entire life, simply because you’re a woman, indicates very poor judgment of your own best interests.
OT: Men request that women be financially secure to weed out the women who display this type of “gender-entitlement” attitude.
LH (Lola Honey) | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:46:54 PM | why not. everyone has their preferences. I prefer a secure, "together", employed/professional man. Why shouldn't they want a similar? IF they have similar to offer  | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:53:02 PM | I had no idea women still thought like this. It's amazing what I learn in the pond.
OP, many, I would venture to say most, women do not want to "taken care of" and have their financial contribution be thought of as "extra".
Men who have worked hard to get to a place in their life where they can afford to have some luxuries, maybe travel, or whatever, have every right to expect that a woman will also have worked and been responsible with her money. He should not have to "support" anyone other than himself and his children.
Wow. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:56:57 PM | to me its a mans role to be a care provider- what the woman brings in is extra
OP - I suggest you climb back into your time machine and fast-forward to the 21st century. This is almost 2008, not 1958. It usually takes two incomes to provide financial stability for a couple or family. Even if the husband does make a very good living, why would you think that the wife should just loll around the house? I've been off work since July, due to health reasons, and it's driving me crazy. What I would give to be able to go back to work tomorrow. A person, whether man or woman, who wants to sponge off their partner, has no self-respect. He/she is a selfish, self-absorbed leech who needs to get off his/her lazy ass and get a job and become a partner in the relationship, instead of a freeloader.
Perhaps your attitude is due to your status as a student/poet/educator. There isn't much financial stability in being a student and/or poet (unless you are in the extreme minority who are published regularly). I have no idea what you do as far as being an 'educator'. That could mean you are employed as a teacher or professor, or it could be a euphemism for freely giving advice on how to write poetry. Teachers don't teach for the money, God knows. They do it for the love of teaching. Your attitude certainly doesn't demonstrate that type of mind set. Perhaps what you would like to find, is a man to support you in becoming a perennial student/unpublished poet. If that's your goal, more power to you. At least, be honest about it. Write on your profile that you are "Looking for a man to support me while I go to school and write poetry. I'll provide the extras." Just don't be surprised or upset if no one takes you up on your enticing offer. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:57:37 PM | | They might be insecure and not be able to live up to our expectations. Emotionally, financially and spiritually. Might need to be more evolved. they like independence but it also scares them. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:13:18 PM |
The battle of the sexes is still moving onward I see ... You see this as a battle... I see it as an opportunity to live up to my full potential in life... it's all in perception...
I was reading an exerpt from Good Housekeeping published in 1953... or somewhere along that time... I was floored by the things that it said...
Listen to your man as what he has to say is far more important than what you have to say.
Don't be angry if he stays out all night and misses the dinner you've prepared. His work life is stressful enough and he needs this time to relax away from home... simply ensure that his homelife is as comfortable as it can be.
Is that the type of life you are looking for OP? I'm sure there still is a market for slavery somewhere in the world... you can simply place yourself on the auction block... | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:31:31 PM | | 50-60K a year is not paltry...not rich either...over 2/3 of the families in this country are making less than 36,000 a year. If a family is making 100k or more they are in the top 10%. Those might not be exact figures, but they are close. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:38:58 PM | | Based on the responses here I see that it all comes down to what a man actually makes that determines if he is going to have a relationship or not. Poetic is looking for a man that makes at least 50,000? Is this what other women are looking for? On the internet there are a lot of scammers that are in nigeria or other places that want a man to send them money to pay for "a hotel bill" or "plane ticket" these are reasons that I would ask for a woman to be financially independant. I am not looking for a woman to pay my bills as I am able to do that with no help and with the paltry little income that I make. I dont need 30 or 40 thou a year to make ends meet. I am doing an outstanding job as a father and as a homeowner with that. What I feel the reason is for women and men to want financially secure people is for 2 very different reasons. A man does not want to go into financial ruin when he does eventually marry the woman and most women do not want to work any more when the find the man. now remember I said most. there are a select few that take care of their own responsibilities. But for all of you to want to be with someone that makes over 40 thousand a year that is kind of looking for a man to take care of you isnt it? And if the man does not make that much what does that classify him as? A loser? Kind of disillusioned to think that if a man is not makeing good money like that he is a loser. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:43:15 PM | | Give you a break OP. WHY?? What kind of break do you women give us guys?? The more financially secure you are the better us men fair out in court. Some even get an even break. You wanted equality now deal with it. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:46:43 PM | | OP, although you go on about love, acceptance as is, etc., it really sounds as if you want a man to support you--it might not be what you mean, but it is how it comes across. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:52:02 PM | Hmmmmm, soooo, what's wrong with that? I wouldn't want a man who regarded any of those items as less that signifigant to a relationship.
NOT untill ALL women are assured of good jobs. But even then, its not easy. Can we say...."out of touch with reality" here? Who told you that men were ASSURED of good jobs? For that matter....who told you that ANYONE was ASSURED of a good job. Good jobs happen when a PERSON is willing and able to obtain the skills and make the "sacrifices" necessary to land and keep those jobs. Sorry to burst you bubble....but our country is NOT QUITE YET, totally communist....keep trying though....we're getting there.
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