| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:01:36 PM | I'm gonna try to say this as nicely as possible:
You want equal pay but its OK for ladies night at the bars. You get mad when a man opens the door for you because you are independent but you wont pay your half of the check. You get mad when your car is acting up and he calls to make sure you got to work OK but then cut his balls off when he doesn't volunteer to check the air in your tires.
Its OK for women to ask for a financially secure man but NOT OK for a man to ask for the same in a woman?
Men are adapting to the changing times and the new roles women are putting themselves in and consequently putting men in. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:08:44 PM | I personally dont care for the roles we've been newly placed in; I do admit I find some of them refreshing and liberating... but what bugs me is that women are burdened/doubly challenged... now they are not only expected to work, but to take care of the family, (the child) the housekeeping and everything else that entails.
Sorry but I'm not biting anymore!
We live in single-family homes, have lost respect for our elders, our family values are in the toilet, and if you ask me this continued road is leading us DOWN HILL. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:11:22 PM | You forgot the other half frogprince
Modern WOMEN are also adapting to the changing times. And now when (not if) they ask a guy out on a date then they are usually the ones to pay.
And modern women are far more inclined to reassue the guys that they ARE financially secure before even being asked. Ithelps the relatinship if the guys know they havent picked up a parasite. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:11:43 PM |
BS! It shows to me the break down of the moral fiber of society if a man ASKS for such a woman. Its better he leaves the door open for a woman to be financially independent if she so chooses... but not to be a money-grubbing man-hound by expecting it.
I so sick of men today...
I suppose it's ok for a woman to request a financially stable guy though, right?
Generally... and boy oh boy do they make it obvious... the one's getting so angry at people's preferences are the most bitter and paranoid.
to me its a mans role to be a care provider- what the woman brings in is extra.
I'm so glad you don't actually DICTATE roles for society.
WOMEN DO NOT HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!
You been living under a rock for the last 25 years or so?
As for playing victim-- everyone "plays" at whatever gives them the edge to feel ok about screwing up another person's life.
You sound so happy-go-lucky and perky.
/sarcasm | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:22:25 PM | So find someone with a profile who doesn't have that listed. Some people have "blondes only" listed, and if you are a brunette, you are SOL. Some women want guys that are taller than them. As a man, if you are shorter, I guess that person isn't for you. I think there are more than enough people here to go around. Find someone who is a match for you, rather than someone who knows they aren't.
to me its a mans role to be a care provider- what the woman brings in is extra
That is your take on it, but not everyone agrees. Again, find someone who does agree. Are you looking for a hand out or a hand up. I want to be an equal with my partner. I was raised in a family where both parents were employed in the same field, made the same amount of money dollar for dollar, and just realized that having two decent incomes allows you to live a better lifestyle.
My ex and i were close (within $10,000 of each other) and again, with two decent incomes you can just lead a better lifestle than if there was a huge gap in wages. When it ended the split was cleaner as well, because of the same reason. But that wasn't the reason I chose her. I expected to be married for life, and I wanted that life to be a comfortable one. Not me supporting her, not her supporting me.
I would prefer that lifestyle again. I do well on my own, but could do a lot better standing shoulder to shoulder with the one I love. (haha anyone know where she is?? I haven't found her yet) | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:25:30 PM | | The same reason why most women seek a financial secure man. You don't want someone who is being sought by creditors and who is does not know how to manage their finances. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:35:38 PM | Let me get this straight. Do you want a man to support you, or are you upset that men want women to support them? I also want a man who's financially secure; doesn't mean he should be rich, but it means dating him shouldn't cost me.
I assume you're single now. Do you take care of yourself? If so, how would meeting a guy change that? Shouldn't he be adverse to taking on an expense to be in a relationship in a day and age where you can take care of yourself? The difference between now and 30-40 years ago is that women had almost no option to be able to fend for themselves, so a man who could support both was sought after.
If a man you were interested in called you and said it's your job to pick me up, take me out and entertain me at no expense to me, would you be ok with that?
I am sure men who say this don't want you to show up and invest a wad of cash into the relationship, they just want you to cover your own expenses, as most people now are able to do (and should be able to do)...and like you do now. When you think of it, getting involved shouldn't change much of anything. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:40:10 PM |
I am sure men who say this don't want you to show up and invest a wad of cash into the relationship, they just want you to cover your own expenses, as most people now are able to do (and should be able to do)...and like you do now. When you think of it, getting involved shouldn't change much of anything.
you got er ... | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:48:55 PM | | LOL! I guess I haven't been reading too many men's profiles lately because that's a new one. Maybe they're tired of all the women online who require a guy who makes more money than they do? | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:48:56 PM |
I personally dont care for the roles we've been newly placed in; I do admit I find some of them refreshing and liberating...
So you want to pick and choose which items of liberation that you want?
if you ask me this continued road is leading us DOWN HILL.
I suggest that you forget about completing your BA, forget that you know how to read and write, and find a man who wants a woman barefoot and pregnant.
I must ask, do you go to a co-ed school? If so, thank those women who fought for equal rights. Are you of the nobility? No? Then thank the women who fought for education for all women. In the past, even the rich and noble women had limited educations.
It irritates and annoys me when I see women who are willing to take full benefit of the rights that suffragettes went to jail for us to realize . . . and who then complain about liberation making us go "downhill."
In truth, if you want a man to support you, they exist. Find one, make yourself dependent on him, and then if either you or he becomes unhappy in the marriage, try to get spousal support so he can continue to take care of you.
Then hear men yell about ALL women who take advantage of men.
Take care of yourself; it is the best advice that you will ever receive. If you don't want to make a living/work AND do housework, just don't do it, or live alone.
Why should a man support you and do the housework?
Do I smell a double standard? | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:53:14 PM | I just think you guys are lost-- love shouldnt be about money.
As for not having to worry and just focus on the relationship-- well that sounds nice and cushy for some of you yuppie types raised in better income families, but for the rest of us who have had to struggle our whole lives for everything, it gets pretty tiresome hearing people yack about love equaling money.
Its wrong.... LOVE should not be predicated on the dollar bill. If men are going to judge me by the fact that I am still in college, on a limited income, raising a son on my own then I dont want him anyway and maybe I'm better off not believing in people anymore. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:58:32 PM | 1. personally I don't want a single dollar of her money.
2. if she has "normal needs" and we will be a family with children one day, I will be able to support her and our kids.
just my way.
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:01:52 PM |
Modern WOMEN are also adapting to the changing times. And now when (not if) they ask a guy out on a date then they are usually the ones to pay.
When that happens I will then be able to say I have seen it all... when a woman invites me out, without fail, I am still expected to pick her up and pay... unless of course its for a $10 breakfast and then the woman will break her wrist getting her money out and then you'll hear all day about how she "took me to breakfast" conveniently forgetting the $150 dinner I paid for the night before! LOL
I once had a woman invite me away for a weekend at the Four Seasons... at the end of the weekend she handed me a bill for my half of the weekend... her invitation, her reservations, she drove... but I paid half... I walked away amazed I didn't have to pay for it all!
but what bugs me is that women are burdened/doubly challenged... now they are not only expected to work, but to take care of the family, (the child) the housekeeping and everything else that entails.
Sister, I have been the sole custodial parent of my 4 kids for 8 years... you can take that crappy line right on down the road to someone it washes with... just don't trying using it here!
I run two businesses, am working on a book, have two kids out and grown, one in college and one in high school. I cook, clean, do laundry, drive to soccer games, take my kids to the doctor and do everything else ANY woman can do... I have taken my daughters to their first bra fittings, been there for their first periods, first heart breaks, birth control, marriages and babies.... and I have given my sons nothing less than I gave my daughters... puhlease! Women are stuck with all that!
I want equal... if she can't bring to the table everything I can she can sit at someone elses table!
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:03:39 PM | You want equal pay but its OK for ladies night at the bars
Dude, it's the BARS who are benefitting from this ploy. Take up your beef with them. Most of the women online are here to avoid the bars in the first place...there we have to deal with the physical and far-too-tangible sliminess of the lounge-lizards. On here it's merely verbal. 
I have a job, I support myself, I expect my guy to have one too. The last thing in the world I want is some guy feeling responsible for my finances....but to me it DOES matter if he has a college education, because I have one - and it's important to me, to have some common values. I am not at all interested in raising a 28 year old who lives in his parents' basement...or a 50 year old on welfare. Neither of those scenarios are going to wash, with me.
"Oh but weasel, you're so superficial - an uneducated, unemployed and illiterate bonehead with no interests can give you just as much love as an educated snob - why, you should just be happy to settle for whatever presumptuous, obnoxious male happens to email you or flash himself on cam" .....BS, my slobbering, arsekissing, treehugging friend. If he can't carry on a conversation with me, what's the point? Go ahead, throw the overtaxed "shallow" word my way too - I have my big-girl panties on and I can take it. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:05:48 PM |
You get mad when a man opens the door for you
I personally do not, and I prefer if he does that. if does not, I am afraid to think his manners are lacking.
But on the topic - absolutely nothing wrong with men preferring financially secure women. As long as a man is the same way as well. This is normal and understandable in my view. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:13:31 PM |
Its wrong.... LOVE should not be predicated on the dollar bill.
Yes, well, just remember that at the BEGINNING of a relationship, it's all about the LOVE. At the END of a relationship, it's all about the MONEY. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:16:01 PM |
Prefer to meet an educated gentleman.
men don’t have to be rich, but as society supports them with better paying jobs
Now this is an odd statement. Every job that I had paid a woman the same as a man. The women I teach with get paid by the same scale I do. The women that go through my course get paid equally well as a man.
Now if a woman decides to take a job or profession that pays less than one a man would how is that society's fault? Engineering pays much better than hairdressing (most of the time).
As far as the OP being tired of men and them wanting a woman that is financially secure I think that they want to find someone on an equal footing as themselves. And just to let you know women have been asking for financially secure men in their ads before there was online dating sites. I recall seeing the ads in the paper when I was a young pup. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:16:37 PM |
Dude, it's the BARS who are benefitting from this ploy. Take up your beef with them. Most of the women online are here to avoid the bars in the first place...
Dudette... Yeah, that's why there are soooo many women lined up at the bars getting their free or half priced drinks... its all a ploy by the male bar owners to hold women back!
LOL
Yeah... it doesn't matter what bar it is, red neck to Martini... women pack them to the rafters for a free drink. Educated career women and factory workers... matters not. Women, in general, want their cake and eat it too...
Read back through this entire topic and their are TWO women who truly "get it" and understand true equality. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:18:31 PM |
Yes, well, just remember that at the BEGINNING of a relationship, it's all about the LOVE. At the END of a relationship, it's all about the MONEY.
isn't it about to getting to know one another in the beginning of a relationship?? It may or may not result in love. Not every relationship results in love, IMO the word itself is devalued by the overuse. Would be nice if people didn't use so often and so frivolously for just about anything.. And if it was spoken, it was truly meant, and not become some bargaining chip or a lure. But I can only wish. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:20:29 PM |
I just think you guys are lost-- love shouldnt be about money.
Its wrong.... LOVE should not be predicated on the dollar bill.
So Poetic, based on those two quotes, your issue isn't really about GUYS requesting "financially secure". Your issue is about ANYONE requesting "financially secure". And that is how you should have stated it in your original posting.
Keep in mind that "financially secure" means different things to different people. I would imagine that in most situations it is about earning/having a specific dollar amount but far more likely that they are looking for someone who has taken responsibility for their financial needs and are not depending on someone else to take care of them for all eternity.
I have been a student and was supported by a man while I earned my degree (I did still contribute financially--just not as much as before I went to school full-time). I also was the one who worked while he went to earn his degree.
At one point in time, I lost my job and was not able to find employment (35% unemployment rate in that particular part of the country) and he felt USED. I am sorry he felt that way OR that I made he feel that way. I have also been in a relationship where I was used (he felt like I earned enough money and had a house so he didn't need to work). It is not a good feeling to be in either of those situations. And I, for one, do not intend to find myself there again.
All I can add is that if you feel it is shallow for a man to list that on his profile, then why would you care to have anything to do with them anyway?
Or are you just trying to instigate more hard feelings among the sexes? | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:27:22 PM | Ahem!! For the record - I speak for My ownself thank you! poeticwhatever - you do not speak for Me or All women (thank God!) geez!
And - it is Some men not all men who have that preference - still, So What?!
Why do people bother with people who obviously have preferences for someone else? Why not just move along to a profile of a man or woman who might actually be into you? Why the hell do people **** and moan about other peoples preferences?? I've never understood that.
We are ALL unique/different - and that is OK, in fact it's a good thing!
Just because someone is looking for more than "you" can give doesn't make them a bad person. We are all entitled to want what we want.
I am again compelled to ask for proof of age!!
A.S.is
ohh .. why don't all men want a woman like meeeeeeeeeee??? waaaaaa | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:28:11 PM |
I date men like professors (who make a paltry 50-60,000 a year),
uhm, you consider 50-60,000 a year paltry?
Thats middle class, if your wanting more than that your just digging for gold.
Hell, I live in a depressed area, job wise, and I would be sitting on easy street if I made even that much a year.
As for other comments by you, I agree there is a breakdown in the gender roles, some welcome them, some don't. Some want an amalgam of both (such as myself).
But as it is in the economical climate of today, it is virtually impossible for your average citizenry to uphold the old ways. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:30:12 PM |
I personally do not, and I prefer if he does that. if does not, I am afraid to think his manners are lacking.
But how often do you open a door for him?
Why are his manners lacking when you don't extend the same courtsey? | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:32:48 PM |
But how often do you open a door for him?
I extend my courtesy in different way/means. We are equal but not the exact same. Is that a problem? a topic was about a man wanting financial security. I have no prob with that. THE END | |
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