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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:38:28 PM | Finacially secure this...Gold digging that...
Maybe these men are requesting finacially secure women...because these particular men themselves are "gold diggers"...Whoever told you that title was just reserved for the female gender? Some men feel that if a woman can go that route...why can't they as well? This is the 21st century...and just about EVERYTHING has been tried once by now!
Go ahead...call me nuts... | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:38:48 PM |
it gets pretty tiresome hearing people yack about love equaling money..
I'd LOVE to know where people have been saying that.
now they are not only expected to work, but to take care of the family, (the child) the housekeeping and everything else that entails.
Geez.. and here I thought those who had kids did so because they WANTED to take care of them.. and work.. and clean... and whatever else is required to survive. I had no clue it was a BURDEN.
How crazy was I to think such silliness?
maybe I'm better off not believing in people anymore.
Reading your bitter and not-reality-based rants... I'd have to wholeheartedly agree with that. And add that you might want to stay away from people, too.
Dudette... Yeah, that's why there are soooo many women lined up at the bars getting their free or half priced drinks... its all a ploy by the male bar owners to hold women back!
LOL
Ladies night is a total conspiracy. To pack as many drunk, horny dumbasses as possible into one place on a weekend night and annoy me.
Let's pretend for a moment that I rely on pubs and bars to meet men. Where the crap are the men on nights like these. Very likely wisely lounging in some pool hall or at some sports event. The men who do brave these idiotic Ladies Nights are probably wondering why they do this to themselves. There is such a thing s TOO MUCH choice, ya know. And is it really GOOD choices when the population of said club is more than over loaded with drunk, cheap women?
I don't think so.
Women, in general, want their cake and eat it too...
Maybe, but I don't want my cake that way. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:38:55 PM | omg - Equality in a relationship - does Not mean both partners make the same amount of money and do the same d*** housework or take turns paying or opening doors! Equality means (simply) - of Equal importance. Both partners contribute to the relationship and both value each other equally. It is Not about the frikkin money! That is called "Pay Equity".
Now - I'm off to a fun thread. Gotta stay away from these negative ones or I'll not have anyone to jump out of my birthday cake! 
I remember when it was so much fun playin with the boys .. sigh .. 
** Ladies night? LMFAO - Ladies night here means the barz are full of men!!! and yup - they're all lookin for financially secure women! NOT! lmao | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:42:20 PM |
their are TWO women who truly "get it" and understand true equality Jeezus I don't think you've read half the posts here....most of the women who've posted are clearly financially secure...unless you mean "Get it" by your definition...which is clearly encrusted with bitterness. Lemme guess, you want a woman who has her own financial security but is willing to let you control her money? Good luck picking up an Amish chick at Ladies' Night.
So you've been "shat upon" by some golddigger...bfd. Don't project the greedy ways of others onto "women, in general". When I invite a guy out, I expect to pay - and not just for a $10.00 breakfast - unless he's some ego-puffed tiny-minded cretin who just can't have a woman picking up the tab....because he defines himself by his net worth...in which case I sure as hell don't go out with him again. There wouldn't be room for the three of us - him, his overinflated ego and me - in a relationship....and believe me, I've encountered enough of those.
Only a presumptuous generalizer would have the bronzed balls to tell me "educated women and factory workers" don't matter. For some of us, it does matter. Believe it or not, some of us are really not into a guy's wallet. It's as easy to find a stupid whitecollar guy as a stupid bluecollar guy. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:43:05 PM | | because many women feel that you owe them something because they decide to give themselves over to you, as if to say this isn't part of our natural inclination, many men would rather deal with a woman who has her own money, this way a genuine affection can be cultivated between the two; or else, a man can end up with a gold digger who feels you owe her more than your affection and genuine concern. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:46:31 PM |
I just think you guys are lost-- love shouldnt be about money.
The people who say on their profiles they want someone who's financially secure aren't in love. They're looking for someone to fall in love with. If they're to the point in their lives where they've built up some savings, it makes perfect sense that they wouldn't want to take a chance with someone who has financial troubles. Why would they want to risk blowing everything they've worked so hard for on someone who's financial unstable?
Remember, we're talking about strangers here, weeding out people that won't be right for them and their current lifestyle. Not someone they already know and love. Why would anyone in that position want to risk their own livelihood on some stranger that they may or may not even get along with? | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:50:23 PM |
Now - I'm off to a fun thread. Gotta stay away from these negative ones or I'll not have anyone to jump out of my birthday cake! I remember when it was so much fun playin with the boys .. sigh ..
What? This wasn't fun?
Personally I enjoy stirring the pot on occasion... what's even better are the emails from my friends say things like "you're not really like that... why did you say those things!" LOL
I will say this though...
Equality in a relationship - does Not mean both partners make the same amount of money
Women wont stick around a man who makes less than she does, at least not for very long... it does have to do with respect and most women don't respect men whose careers are less than theirs.
Just like I can't respect a woman who can't cook at least as good I do... and that alone sets the bar pretty danged high! | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:52:25 PM | The only reason you would "get awfully sick of running into profiles by men who include in their wish lists of the perfect woman," with statements such as:
"You--- are financially secure"........is because you are not, financially secure. 
I have every right to request that in a woman, as does she.......... Get financially secure, or forget it. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:53:41 PM |
isn't it about to getting to know one another in the beginning of a relationship?? It may or may not result in love.
Oh, gee-whiz. Stop being so nit-picky.
Let me correct my post and see if it passes your quality filter.
Here goes:
OFTEN, when relationships begin, where 'begin' refers to the condition where two people have decided to forego the attentions of all other members of the opposite sex and mutually agree to only engage in sexual encounters with eacher other, those two people, who are now only having sex with one another, have professed their strong feelings for one another, which henceforth will be referred to in a word and this word shall be 'Love', and this said state of 'Love' or more precisely in the vernacular of women of the 21st century, 'IN Love', which by name and in form, no matter how bizarre it may be, are different, and whereas the two said parties are mutually agreed to be 'IN Love', they may, by mutual agreement and after much humming, hawing and brow-beating, usually by the female part of the party, agree that they will henceforth and from this or that moment until death do them part, agree the ' BE IN A STATE OF UNDYING LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP'.
Now, given that some states of being IN RELATIONSHIPNESS, is found to be unsatisfactory, usually by the female member of the aforementioned partnership, the ensuing freak-show, henceforth referred to as the ' Kicking to the Curb' will no longer have any relation to the aforementioned state of ' UNDYING LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP', but will, contrary to this acknowledged and beautiful state, be solely, completely and unreservedly be about MONEY.
AND, not withstanding the aforementioned condition of UNDYING LOVE AND TOGETHEREDNESS, the ensuing battle shall not be about previously felt emotions or anything, but will, henceforth and forever ad finitum, be engaged solely and entirely for the financial gain of one party or the other till death, finally, completely and satisfactorially, take one of the effing A-Holes who chose to get into the ill-begotten farce of a bloody connection to begin with.
Phew.
Hope that clears it all up. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:54:06 PM | Poetic, if the idea is to find someone who is a match for each one of us, then the men who want a financially secure woman are not going to match your needs. So, I find it odd that you would rail about this, as it really only serves to make your search easier. I believe you think we should live in a more altruistic time, where money is not such a concern and we each seek true love based on compatibility. Reality is, we live in the times that we do.
It is of course, as I am sure you well know, quite fruitless to rail that the world has altered and there are fewer traditional men (but they do exist). But, the fact that complaining about something someone does not like has never stopped anyone from holding forth about it on PoF forums before, LOL.
Arguably, love for you IS about money... as I suspect the man you seek needs to make enough money to support the both of you, such that your income can be considered "extra". I am not certain you see the fallacy in your argument here.
Please, though, keep in mind some tolerance. People seek a match for them, the type of life and relationship you seek is not the type I and many others would be happy with. There are plenty of people out there who DO seek a more traditional relationship... however, I would suspect they want to also be with people who are happy in their lives. In this way Poetic, or it seems to me, you are being subsumed with negativity and bitterness and as such are likely costing yourself your own opportunity at happiness.
There is that old saying "every pot has it's lid" - and I wish you good luck on your search. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:00:17 PM | RE: 69
Prince, there are many more than two women who 'get it'.
No one wants to be taken advantage of or used, by anyone, much less their romantic partner. How heartbreaking it is when you find you've been conned, and that the person you thought loved you for yourself, actually was in the relationship for what they could receive in a financial settlement. It's a hard and painful lesson to learn. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:09:42 PM | I have not read this whole thread but have the gist of the OP.
I would far prefer a woman who at least has some income or assets. I own my own home and am in the process of building a new house. My income is all I have to build this house and I do not want to barrow money which would leave a possibility for the house to be taken away from me. I am very comfortable financially but it can be a balancing act to afford such a low maintenance life style I have. If I were to hook up with a woman who has no means of support or does not work or have an income or assets then it would probably mean losing the financial freedom and much of the free time I now have. Being self-employed I'd be very satisfied to hook up with a lady who has a serious interest in my business and is willing and physically capable to assist in my business. I have no interest in going out to bust my azz to make money while one sits at home watching soap operas, washing clothes, and talking on the phone. I can and do take care of my own clothes, cooking, and cleaning. I'm not looking for a servant but would love to meet a true partner in every sense of the word! Too, I would not be comfortable with a woman who is so well to do financially that I'd be in the position of being subservient to her. I don't want to buy a woman and I don't want one to think she can buy me... Hells bells, I'm looking for a friend...not a business deal or a pet to take care of....however, the business end of a relationship is what breaks up many many relationships due to a lack of financial backing. I could appreciate and respect a woman with good financial savvy and have no problem with her running her own business and affairs but I would definitely want the respect of a best friend and lover. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:14:19 PM |
Personally I enjoy stirring the pot on occasion... what's even better are the emails from my friends say things like "you're not really like that... why did you say those things!" LOL
I prefer rolling my pot to stirring it, however; I am open minded enough to overlook the minor difference if you're buying dinner!!! (smarta$$!)
.. I like intellectual donkeys ..
I know I was going to find a fun thread, but being a woman I have decided to exercise my boobly given right to change my mind! lol
On the topic of financial security - I have known panhandlers who are more financially "secure" than 'some' of us. Now - I really have to go, my squeegie needs squeezing! ;) .. For others a 'grow op' would suggest financial security .. Just what does op mean by "financially secure"? Not worrying about money doesn't mean you have lots..
A.S.is
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:17:32 PM | So basically no one wants to take care of anyone... if you cant cut it on your own, then forget it--youre not worth anything to anybody.
God help the woman who gets ill and becomes disabled... who will then live in fear that her husband (the man who is supposed to love her ) kicks her to the curb because she then becomes "an inconvenience" to him. She then becomes a bottom-feeder.
God help the man who loses his job; and barely makes it on his own after becoming permanently disabled. He is then, no longer, worthy of love or his wife's esteem?
Its the same... no ones talking about being lazy or being kept-- it is simply about
being a decent human being whose concerns rise about what they can get from someone. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:21:34 PM | My profile states that I am both mentally AND financially stable; and I do certainly expect any man that I would date to be able to honestly make the same statement. Personally, I've been waiting almost 30 yrs to FINALLY be able to pay for something without hurting a guys ego. I used to have to slip the money under the dang table to my husband (ex). FINALLY, I can treat a male friend with the same casual confidence that I would when a girlfriend and I go out for lunch....meaning that I don't have to explain how I could dare be "so bold".
Don't know what to tell you about the "double burden"....you're not doing anything that women haven't done for centuries....as far as I know it hasn't killed any of us yet.
In my day....there was a word for women who expected men to pick up the tab just because they were women......BAR FLIES! | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:23:07 PM |
when a woman invites me out, without fail, I am still expected to pick her up and pay... unless of course its for a $10 breakfast and then the woman will break her wrist getting her money out and then you'll hear all day about how she "took me to breakfast" conveniently forgetting the $150 dinner I paid for the night before
Hey. Froggy, if I ask you out, I can't afford $150 for dinner, but I will pay if you will go to a restaurant of my choice and ability to pay. But more likely, I will invite you to my house and I will cook for you.
I find that men my age don't want me to pay for dinner; in fact, some have been offended when I offer.
I open doors for men because it is a common courtesy; when a man steps quickly to open a door for me, I smile and say, "Thanks."
Equality never negates politeness.
OP, what DO you want? It appears to be a man who makes more than $50,000 a year and a man who is willing to support your ass. Why do you need supporting? Your kids are apparently grown. Raising kids is the ONLY reason I can see why a woman would not work outside the home--or vice-versa with the father. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:24:41 PM |
God help the woman who gets ill and becomes disabled... who will then live in fear that her husband (the man who is supposed to love her ) kicks her to the curb because she then becomes "an inconvenience" to him. She then becomes a bottom-feeder.
God help the man who loses his job; and barely makes it on his own after becoming permanently disabled. He is then, no longer, worthy of love or his wife's esteem?
Poetic,
You are talking about situations while you are IN a relationship. Not at the beginning of relationship. That is a whole other ballgame.
Remember, we are human. Thus fallible. Including you. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:28:59 PM |
God help the woman who gets ill and becomes disabled... who will then live in fear that her husband (the man who is supposed to love her ) kicks her to the curb because she then becomes "an inconvenience" to him. She then becomes a bottom-feeder.
God help the man who loses his job; and barely makes it on his own after becoming permanently disabled. He is then, no longer, worthy of love or his wife's esteem?
You are comparing apples and oranges: these are scenarios of longterm couples. YOU began by complaining about men who want financially secure women at the outset of the relationship.
NO ONE breathed a word about deserting a spouse/partner with whom one has been with for years. There is a huge difference between staying with a partner in a longterm established relationship and looking for a partner who is financially stable.
I was in a 25 year marriage where my ex supported me. When I decided to leave, I found that I had not done myself any favors by not working fulltime.
Live . . . learn.
Except some people don't seem to learn much. | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:29:11 PM |
God help the woman who gets ill and becomes disabled... who will then live in fear that her husband (the man who is supposed to love her ) kicks her to the curb because she then becomes "an inconvenience" to him. She then becomes a bottom-feeder.
God help the man who loses his job; and barely makes it on his own after becoming permanently disabled. He is then, no longer, worthy of love or his wife's esteem?
You are talking about better/worse or richer/poorer scenarios... and I can tell you my ex left me when I was sick (and I truly thank her for that) and I had a fiance leave me when my business took a hit and I could no longer afford to spend $1000 month dating her (despite the fact she was the cause of my business taking a hit).
What we are talking about is not what happens once married but what you bring to the table BEFORE you get married. For those of us men and women who have earned every scrap of what we have, we are simply not willing to give it away (again). | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:32:23 PM | Why should women be the only ones wanting someone who's financially secure????
I think it only wise that in this day and age, men seek women who will not become a financial burden on them. If by our ages (50+), we haven't begun to amass our own coinage, we have no right to expect someone else to pay our way through life. It's each person's own responsibility to provide for themselves. If in a committed, live-in situation, then I'd think both would contribute towards all expenses. Gone are the days of HE provides the proverbial 'bread and butter'.
As far as men asking if you wear Victoria Secret,,,,,tell him it's a 'secret' only to be revealed to someone worthy 
If he wants to know if you're a career woman,,,,,,tell him your career's in the investigation of voyours and spousal cheaters and somehow his name came up!
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:34:45 PM | What about the Man who becomes disabled... happened to me. Worked hard, all my life, had My own muffler/repair shop then in 2002 some old jackass tried to drive across the road 40 ft in font of me while I was doing 60mph. Needless to say, he didn't make it. Took care of a 2 year old with a cast & a brace on, and a home-made cane while the Ex worked. So don't give me that crap.. PUL-EEEEZE! 
Oh and I WAS kicked to the curb, for not being "financially responsible".. But, I found something I could do, got an insurance license, and make more $$$ than she does now (oooh man!, and she HATES that too!) | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:40:34 PM |
Jeezus I don't think you've read half the posts here....most of the women who've posted are clearly financially secure...unless you mean "Get it" by your definition...which is clearly encrusted with bitterness.
By "Get It" I mean they understand equality and they dont judge men based on standards that, they themselves, don't live up to.
Clearly encrusted with bitterness? Honey, don't project your issues on to me, I'm not bitter about anything or anyone. The facts are simply the facts. The majority of women run a double standard against men every day. The two posts about the opening of doors illustrates that point exactly and I have seen only two women post responses in this entire thread that indicate that they clearly understand equality from both perspectives and that their decisions would indicate they are capable of equality within a relationship.
Lemme guess, you want a woman who has her own financial security but is willing to let you control her money?
Nah... trying to control anything that a woman has or does is like trying to herd kittens... Big boys don't do that!
Amish womens night? LOL That would entertaining if nothing else... I should have tried that when I owned my bar... Damn! I missed that one! | |
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| Why do men request Financially Secure women????
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:48:33 PM | "Financially Secure"
Everybody's always worried about having to come up with the financial "brunt" of the other's misdoings, shortcomings, failure to plan, etc...
If this is such a major concern with you...give up dating, and concentrate strictly on yourself...since in essence, that's what you're doing anyway... | |
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