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 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 51
When you KNOW what your problem is.....Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Try to comprehend the overall topic without zeroing on one small part of it. This was prompted by an email I got some time back from a woman saying that she would love to meet me but "I am a little intimidated by your intelligence", and that is a direct quote.

I'm baffled why you think that my pointing out that things you say come across as arrogant and bragging is not on topic to that statement. Stating your IQ and your acocmplishiments (regardless of how you feel they are average) is going to create this reaction. You seem to have no comprehension of the feelings that you evoke in others by saying the things you do in the manner in which you do them.

If you can't see that then you're problem will never be solved.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 52
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History
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:11:42 PM
Well, using the word "problem" certainly would indicate that the situation or condition is negative. However, I fail to see how being reasonably intelligent, well read, informed and wellspoken is problematic.
I think the OP's "problem" may be that he's looking in the wrong places, or else he's changing the order of his priorities after the fact...
I don't think you will find orchids in an onion field.
Cindy O
 broward
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 53
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:12:09 PM

you can't really communicate with 99% of the population, and if you try, you come off as an arrogant d|ckhead


My IQ is only 130 but I manage to piss off 98% of the population.
Is there a statistical co-re-lation?! (Whoo hooo)


I'm a woman and I work in IT


Egad, another oxymoron!

I was in Mensa, I joined to meet women but they were obviously afflicted with Eddie Syndrome. However, I must say the tests I've taken are surprisingly accurate. I've taken three in the past few years and they all scored within a few points of each other.


Go read what I wrote


Oh, so obvious....

"Make me".
Yuk yuk.

Looks like I drove the hyperbolic school marm off with just a little sweet talk'n.
Think I hit her below the belt?
Ouch!
 vro312
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 54
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:22:58 PM

I was in Mensa, I joined to meet women but they were obviously afflicted with Eddie Syndrome. However, I must say the tests I've taken are surprisingly accurate. I've taken three in the past few years and they all scored within a few points of each other.


Which cereal boxes did you get the tests from? Most major marketers of breakfast cereals use essentially the same test. Try the one that comes in Bazooka bubble gum.


Looks like I drove the hyperbolic school marm off with just a little sweet talk'n.


Oh, gosh no. This is just a misunderstanding . . . I'm sorry. I just thought, when I noticed you had to edit my text in order to respond to it, that I'd severely emasculated you. It is Christmas time and all.

Plus, the word "love" tends to make me run.
 MtLoopHiker
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 55
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:31:53 PM
eastsideeddie riposts:

Read the original post. Try to comprehend the overall topic without zeroing on one small part of it.


You're trying to divorce the thesis of your thread from the words you choose to convey it. You're supposed to be smarter than that.




If you choose to interpret my words as my being arrogant or pompous, you are free to not read them. However I am enjoying your comebacks and attempts at bon mot, though you are throwing spitballs at a battleship.


Nobody's throwing spitballs, eddie. It's only for those whofeel themselves put down and put-upon, that the rest of the world seems evil. Why don't you lose the facade and just have some fun?



If you read from the beginning, I was simply saying that I DO NOT think I am anything special. That I am a pretty AVERAGE person. And that my list of attributes describing myself are a thumbnail of what I think is just your average guy. So to pluck that one thing out and run with it was WAY off topic.


How you feel and how you comport yourself are two different things, and you're just not seein' it. Hence the jabs.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 56
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When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:38:02 PM
ESE, if we are gonna shoot spitballs about the bible, it also says in the book of Genesis that they didn't want man partaking of the tree of knowledge so that they would be become Gods like THEM....

Them???? That is plural.

Surely being a well rounded educated man such as yourself, YOU KNOW that having an IQ of 160, and with all the various degrees, most certainly you are NOT an average man... To even say that is rather insulting to the average man OR woman.

Being highly educated, and having a multitude of talents and interests can intimidate someone that worked their butt off to get through one degree, or land one job, and keep it for all the years they have, as well as balance that with raising kids, generally in the single population by your self.

If YOU KNOW what the problem is, then it is up to you as to whether you change it, or keep it the same. The "Dr Phil" moment will always be, "how's it working for you?"

If you are happy with who you are, and how you approach people and life, then this has been a frivolous, only coming across as a brag session of all the really great things you have achieved in life... Which one can say, goody for you.

However if you are sincerely asking, then take heed of the sincere posts, that say get over yourself, and accept others for being who they are.

AND YES, I too have heard gosh you are a very intellegent woman, I feel intimidated... That IS NOT the time I break out my IQ score, nor is it the time that I list all of my accomplishments, my degrees, etc etc. Rather I let a person know they are just as interesting, (if they are to me) and that I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.

Good luck...
 4umjunky
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 57
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:43:24 PM
NO, don't settle. You will eventually find your equal. We are all not like..ah...duh!

 Benny_Lava!
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 58
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:46:56 PM
I've made the mistake of putting people off and coming across pompous.

I ended up alienating more people than befriending them.

I had to rethink my strategy.

I came up with this question: Is it more virtuous to be kind or intelligent?

I'm not saying you need to choose, but a good friend and ex hammered into my head: "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 59
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:48:49 PM
AND YES, I too have heard gosh you are a very intelligent woman, I feel intimidated... That IS NOT the time I break out my IQ score, nor is it the time that I list all of my accomplishments, my degrees, etc etc. Rather I let a person know they are just as interesting, (if they are to me) and that I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.

That is exactly what I do as well. If they try to elevate me I point out the things that they do or say that make them special as well. I have never brought up my IQ score in a conversation (and I refuse to even though I was invited to join MENSA). I was tested at a very early age (4th grade) by my school and invited into the "gifted and talented" programs as a result of it, but that's yet another subject you'll rarely hear me talk about. It's the same way with my job, people are always saying things like "wow, you're amazing... I could never do what you do" and I just respond back "and I could never do what you do, don't ask me to sell our product".

I'm not saying you need to choose, but a good friend and ex hammered into my head: "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"

I want to be both darn it!! What if being right does make someone happy?

From Mesna.org:
The term "IQ score" is widely used but poorly defined. There are a large number of tests with different scales. The result on one test of 132 can be the same as a score 148 on another test. Some intelligence tests don't use IQ scores at all.

And for those that don't know the IQ ratings:
Over 140 - Genius or near genius
120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence
110 - 119 - Superior intelligence
90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence
80 - 89 - Dullness
70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency
Under 70 - Definite feeble-mindedness
 eazk
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 60
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:59:51 PM
C'mon, ~Eddie...you know you're not of average eloquence, and that in turn makes you not of average intelligence. Perhaps the real problem is that you are trying so hard to be normal, that you've failed to accept the area in which you shine. I never skim by one of your posts because I always expect it to be extremely well thought out, extremely well-stated...and rarely whiny.

So, you're a hexagonal peg trying to fit in an isocoles triangle hole. You know the route options you have to take.

 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 61
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:07:20 PM
I have never really thought of myself as being super intelligent. I guess I would consider myself to be pretty average in the intelligence department but, the years have blessed me with much wisdom. Intelligence is a virtue not a vice. I would become extremely bored if I couldn't hold an intelligent conversation with my partner. That is pretty much why I prefer men my own age; I hate to have to explain all the trivial things that I have learned throughout my life.

Funny, sometimes I sing a song and my students say" Oh I know that song from such and such a movie". I laugh because I remember the song when it came out. I have life experience, tons of it, and I would not be happy without someone without similar wisdom and experiences.
 broward
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 62
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:22:55 PM

Which cereal boxes did you get the tests from?


There's several on-line tests unless you're referring to Mensa itself, in which case there's a substitute qualification using SAT scores. My percentile in SAT is considerable higher than my IQ percentile. They grade on performance *and* effort.


I'd severely emasculated you


Weak, but I'll give you credit for a disturbing image.


word "love" tends to make me run.


School marm with a ruler!
School marm with a ruler!
 vro312
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 63
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:31:29 PM

There's several on-line tests unless you're referring to Mensa itself, in which case there's a substitute qualification using SAT scores. My percentile in SAT is considerable higher than my IQ percentile. They grade on performance *and* effort.


I was joshing you, but apparently my humor is inaccessible to people under 131. I'm well aware of Mensa qualifications and of the various other IQ tests available.

But thanks for sharing your score. I never would have guessed.
 MtLoopHiker
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 64
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:32:14 PM
To follow up on what sherilyn70 said,

Statistically an IQ of 100 is defined to be the mean, and on the upper end 130 is held to be two standard deviations above the mean. In other words 97.5% of people will have an IQ below 130. The MENSA standard is that you be above that, in the 98th percentile, in order to join.

Doesn't mean you have to possess a lick of sense, tho'
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 65
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:33:52 PM
There's several on-line tests unless you're referring to Mensa itself, in which case there's a substitute qualification using SAT scores.

The funny thing is I never actually took the SAT. I never even made it to college due to circumstances in my life. I did take the pre-SAT my senior year and while I can't remember the exact percentile it did put me in the top 5%... I remember my high school counselor being baffled by it because my grade performance did not meet my scores because I had problems with my home life and low self esteem.

I took the IQ test about 2 years ago and did score high enough to get into mensa (132+ is their typical requirement) and that is the closest you'll get to seeing my score. If I recall correctly I took the Stanford-Binet test.
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 66
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:48:20 PM
Eastsideeddie, I'd find it frustrating, too, if the person I'm seeing is so ignorant about simple, everyday things. This did actually happen to me not so long ago. He was a sweet guy, but so unintelligent. I don't think it's arrogant to expect a potential partner to have common sense and an average level of competence and intelligence.

Ninki
 broward
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 67
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:56:59 PM

I was joshing you


You were?

I couldn't feel it.
Maybe size does matter?
 nymie465
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 68
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 3:00:02 PM
Being smart is an attractive trait. Arrogance, on the other hand, is an extremely off-putting characteristic, be it male or female. While you may feel that you're average in all things your contempt of others nearly knocked me over, like a perfume-nazi in a shopping mall. Instead of focusing on what your partner doesn't have (i.e.: intelligence, spell-checking ability... blah, blah, blah) why not focus on the good qualities that she has that you may lack. When you limit a partner by their lack of a certain quality, then you are the one that ends up losing in the end. Life's too short to keep focusing on the negative....

Either that, or start staking out MENSA meetings for your ideal match....
 vro312
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 69
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 3:02:18 PM

I couldn't feel it.
Maybe size does matter?


That's what she said. (And yes . . . it does.)

You might want to invest in a dictionary. And an image consultant.
 darkchocolat23
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 70
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 4:20:14 PM

I find myself expecting women to be my peer, at equal planes of education, experiences.... mainly I don't want to have to explain why the sky is blue and why water is wet.


Look for your peers....they are not that hard to find.......There is no one so intelligent, educated and experienced so they cannot find others of the same ilk......


See, I think of myself as an extremely average guy. I think I am of average intelligence, average skill levels, average experiences, average looks, average everything. And if "average" is defined as "close to the same as everybody else", then I expect women to not be bubbleheads, not have a hard time spelling "dad" when I give them the 2 D's, know enough math to make change for a buck, be able to converse intelligently on many subjects.......


You would have to did deep in the bottom of the barrel to find women like those..... what do you look for and where do you find them?? .....and do you really believe all the averages you wrote???


Many, even MOST, women see me as being pompous and arrogant because of that.


.....I wonder why??


Should I try to adapt and dummy my life style down to someone else's level?


You have already gone a long way in doing so by your start thread content...


Isn't that settling? Can people be happy doing that?


Based on the content of your posts, I do not think you would be happy doing anything else....who would you then have to lord your superior intelligence over?


I have had women write to me here and say they were intimidated by my intelligence.


again I ask, where do you find those women??????


I never thought I would live to see a time when being smart was a bad trait.....


smart is never a bad trait......lack of smart ( and I am not talking about intelligence, degrees or whatever else may be confused with smarts) is very hard to figure in oneself and can make people not see what is obvious.

People who suffer from an over abundance of intelligence, so much that they find it difficult to find others to match their level...I say to them.....SMARTEN UP!

PS....Just and idea.....do you think you are short enough to be suffering from short-men-syndrome?...... just a thought......
 Deceased~
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 71
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 4:53:15 PM

But seriously, past a certain point, a high intelligence doesn't necessarily confer any survival value, and particularly when paired with the aggravation that "you can't seem to find anyone to talk to, " can often be emotionally crippling.


I agree. In fact it is fairly well known by people who are above average intelligence that the higher your intelligence is, the less socially adaptable you usually are. It isn't so much the result of not understanding social skills but more a matter of the simple fact that most people will never forgive you for being smarter than they are.

Having extremely high intelligence is just as debilitating as having extremely low intelligence. One only has to look at that proverbial bell curve. There is a very logical reason that people on the edges of it are more rare. The people in the middle are far more able to find partners and produce offspring.

I believe that is how the results ( represented by the curve) came about. There is some related truth in the saying, "Ignorance is bliss." Average intelligence is also blissful. Ask anyone with average intelligence and they will tell you they would not want to really be one of those strange people out on the edges.

The way I personally look at it is that I try not to let anyone know my level of intelligence. I am quite good at playing "average" sometimes.
 Harry Peter
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 72
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:02:01 PM
If you can't change the problem, change how you view it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 73
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When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:12:28 PM
^^^^^Good advice.

Hey OP ~ Happy Holidays!

I have had women write to me here and say they were intimidated by my intelligence. I never thought I would live to see a time when being smart was a bad trait.....

What's the solution here?


I was flatly TOLD this by a man during dinner this past April, when I posted about it, I was called arrogant, told I was lying, told that "he just wasn't that into me" etc. When the real truth is, I've heard it all of my life (at least my dating life.) My ex husband said cutting things about my level of education/intelligence/common sense and overall addiction to knowing more and more and more all the time. He was rather brutal about my interest in the world at large. The only advice I have for you, don't change one thing about yourself, just change they types of women you are interacting with. There are those out there who find what you offer not only rare, but exceptional. Like myself, I'm not going to "dummy down" for anyone ~ and if that makes me arrogant, so be it. Good luck OP, I thought for sure you'd be long gone from here by now ~ nice to see you ~ although I wish you would find "her."
 mrwizard766
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 74
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:45:30 PM


ESE… unless the topics you wish to discuss include subjects such as: Quantum Physics, Thermodynamics or Cold Fusion, then you aren’t being pompous or arrogant.


How about me? I've been told the same thing: that I tend to intimidate women on POF. But then...I do like to discuss cold fusion (otherwise called low energy nuclear reactions) since my research interests are in that particular field.
 vro312
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 75
When you KNOW what your problem is.....
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:49:01 PM
Oh please, people.

What are the chances that everyone posting in this thread is a member of that elusive tail-far-right 2%?

I'm kind of (understatement) a loner and don't quite fit in with the masses or into traditional relationships, but to attribute that to my intelligence would be a serious disservice to myself. And a joke.

I know my number, too, but what does it have to do with the price of tea in China? Or the price of toys in China, for that matter. What matters is can you maintain a job and support yourself and your family; do you contribute in a positive way to the local and global community; are you capable of solving problems, including emotional problems? That kind of stuff. It's not about numbers.

We've got a whole lot of numbers flying around on here, but what do they really mean?

I mean, really.
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