| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:02:47 PM | As the old saying goes ... "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince" So dating multiple people at once is a way to weed through the frogs to see if they are even worth kissing.
In other words ... "If you have to kiss a lot of frogs you might as well kiss them fast." | |
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deni30
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Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 302 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:13:28 PM | | Because when it rains it pours and I've regretted turning down someone for a guy who turned out to be a waste of time in the past too many times to count. The amount of crap we have to wade through to find someone decent in unfreakinbelievable. If I'm seriously interested in someone or we are officially together then I obviously focus on one person- otherwise, I'm a free agent. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:33:17 PM | whataguy~
interesting question... because actually, being older, and a little more experienced, i find that dating more then one person at a time is detrimental to my psyche. also, i find that men seem to do this more often, and the scary thing is, as far as i can tell the lot of them have no problem pulling it off! lol!
honesly, how in the world will you ever be able have an emotional connectioin with a person when you are dating several? it is impossible. i would never ever ever have a sexual relatioinshp with more then one person either.... and again... as far as i can tell, men don't seem to have a problem with that one at all either! lol!
two objects can not occupy the same space at the same time.
lara | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:35:30 AM | It all comes down to definitions for me. Were I to go on a first meeting date - just a casual thing - and make arrangements to do so with a number of people (let's say 2 or 3 in a two-week time frame), I'd have no qualms about doing so.
If I met one individual for coffee and it went well and we kept meeting (say 2 or 3 times in total over those same two weeks) I'd want to see where it went with him first before making more arrangements.
The problem is that between POF, Facebook, MSN, and a host of others we have all come to the point of being so much up each other's asses that even the best intentions get confusing.
Once I sleep with someone and they have told me they want to see me again, I am probably going to change my profile to indicate I am not looking. Chances are the guy I slept with would be more freaked out to hear this than anyone else on the site. Even moreso if I asked him ahead of time if he'd mind.
There are not enough boxes to choose from to keep people from going apesh!t on one another as far as I'm concerned. 'Playing the field' used to be a legitate piece of terminology...now a person would likely be accused of being a self-confessed player and there'd be demands for his or her account to be closed. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:58:11 AM | So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time?
Date = a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.
Why would I narrow my "engagements" to only one man, until I know he truly engages me?
Now, if you're talking about "exclusive" dating ... that's called a R E L A T I O N S H I P. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:16:51 PM |
Now, if you're talking about "exclusive" dating ... that's called a R E L A T I O N S H I P.
Guess that is what it really comes down to.... goes for the ladies as well as the guys.... if you want a relationship you have to be willing to give to it, nurture it, grow it... whatever you want to call it. You can't do that while dating multiple people. I suppose thats why I've not had a lot of luck, silly me, I figure if I want to see if the lady I'm interested in is the "one" then I need to make her the one. JMHO | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:09:03 PM | First let's get this straight.SLEEPING WITH multiple guys is an invitation to trouble and a prelude to disaster,IMHO. I'm not going to get into right and wrong and judgements here. That is just a personal standard.
Now, provided that there has not been a clear declaration of exclusivity, and I mean CLEARLY discussed and decided on, what a person of either gender does with the rest of their time is THEIR BUSINESS.
And to speak directly to the question posed in the topic, it's because so many men get all interested and date a few times and then lose their nerve and back away. If I've had a couple dates with John Doe and then Jim Anybody and/or Jake Public asks me out,why should I not accept, provided I'm doing something incredibly rude like cancelling one to see another? Because chances are at least one of these men is going to suddenly remember how he got hurt before, or how busy he is or he gets worried that Willy's gonna embarass him. Given the way things are these days, maybe at least one of them has a wife that I don't know about (yet), or else she catches his ass and snaps the leash back on.( Let me make this perfectly clear, I would NEVER knowingly date a married man. But these days it's dirt easy for married people to appear single.)
<div class="quote">if you want a relationship you have to be willing to give to it, nurture it, grow it... whatever you want to call it. You can't do that while dating multiple people.
OK, I see. Everyone should only have one friend, one child...because how could you give to, nurture and grow multiple friends or children??
Look, the way it should work is that one of the dating partners is going to turn out to be someone special, and as that becomes apparent one works the other ones OUT of the picture and focus more on the special one.
But let's play out the other scenario. I meet John Doe and we like each other. So I turn down Jim A and Jake P. Then after about 4 dates I get a call from John D's wife, or he remembers how bad he got treated by his ex and he flakes out. You think that either one of the other ones will ever ask me out again?? Not likely, right?
I'm not gonna say there aren't drawbacks to dating more than one person at a time,and depending on your demographics, it may not happen a lot. But to just reject all other interest because you've had a couple of dates with somebody?Before you have a good sense that it's gonna go somewhere? IMHO, that's shooting yourself in the romance foot.
Cindy O | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:39:58 PM | what's the problem? Men do it all the time...i wouldn't if there was a special connection which i found out isn't even a safe bet that it's going to go beyond the first date or several...
i go on dates...i date...until someone makes an exclusive offer of dating then he's the only one..until then? i date and communicate with several men at the same time...
like i said..men always have their stalls full with their cows..so why can't women have their pastures full of steer? double standard works both ways/ | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 2:55:55 PM |
like i said..men always have their stalls full with their cows..so why can't women have their pastures full of steer? double standard works both ways/
Not all, some of us only have one stall and would rather find the right one to fill it instead of having multiple choices. But I do have to agree that it is unfortunate that there appear to be more men and woman that fall into the category of what I call fear of commitment and continually play the field.
I guess the main thing is so long as both are clear with each other from the onset, no harm, no foul. As several posts indicated, once the "dating" moves on to being a relationship I don't feel that any pursuit of others is appropriate. And this goes for the married folks on here too, and ladies there are married women out her just as there are men. If they want to date they need to end (legally, not just moving out) that relationship then start dating.
Guess to sum it up it all comes down to communication IMHO | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:10:04 PM | | The reason why I have dated multiple guys is because I want to find the guy who loves me the most. Then, I will stay with one... as long as he is willing to committ. I haven't found that one yet, so now here I am, going out with multiple dates! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:24:25 PM | | I like your thoughts. Can you write more, for example... what would be a more appropriate way to approach dating. How can we find the proper sequence of finding the right one? How can we make up our minds on who is better... how much space should we leave when hopping from one to the other? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:06:31 PM | | Do we have to date,to know somebody?We don't make a friends anymore,just for a sake a being friends,because we have something to share,to talk about,something just admire and show it,besides that human bussines called "meat market"?I was misunderstood many times,because I just show my admirations towards some girls,and they took it like I was hitting on them.We forgot to communicate,so we need that "multiple dating"?Friendship is a friendship,and relationship is relationship to me at least.If Im just one of the possible cases to relationship,then don't waste my time,and dont pretend be friend,just to checking me out for some another reason | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:28:24 AM | | Men have been dating multiple women for centuries..they just lie about it. The difference today is that I'm up front with everybody..if they don't like it, they can move on, and one person moving on will hardly make a dent in my mantourage. Females unite!! Make them jump through hoops and work for time with you! Women have all the power, and the more men you keep around, the more empowered you'll be, until that one fantastic guy sweeps you off your feet. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/20/2008 9:35:38 AM | | I think both men and women should keep there options open and date around. Even on the first through seventh date both will be on there best behavior. It takes a while to weed our the fake from the real. By doing this you won't limit your options. I don't consider it being a player, but playing it wise and really getting to know each and every person and know who is being real, and who is right for you. I know that noone is perfect, and some look out for the next best thing. For me I'm looking for someone who is genuine and real, and that is rare in this dating scene, when people are pretending to be someone there not. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:06:21 PM | | We as women have the right to keep our options open eventhough men have a problem with it. But, that's their insecurity. Men have double standards woman have multiple orgaz!!!!!???? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 8:17:48 PM | | It's for the same reason guys date multiple women...they are idiots! How can you possibly give one person a real chance if you're talking to several others or meeting others at the same time? Whatever happened to meeting someone you like, being nice to them, and hoping it will lead down a good road? Internet dating has made things too easy and convenient. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 8:24:33 PM | | Is this a silly question or a double standard? Has the planet changed? Did I miss a memo? Did everyone become honest, loyal, and well-adjusted while I was exploring another universe? Can anyone tell me why a person would presume to immediately and exclusively encumber another person's time while playing the "dating game?" Committed relationships are for committed people - people who have spent the time proving their strength of character to one another and are in a position to ask for a deeper level from someone they know and trust. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 8:37:43 PM | | I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person so long as you're not sleeping with them. It's called "looking for the right guy". | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 8:38:31 PM | Honestly...unless they are young (and out in the market) or in a FWB/F-Bud type of relationship...most women that date a number of men keep it low-key.
It doesn't make it too attractive to know that any number of other guys are competing w/ you for her...affections.
Most older guys would avoid the potential headaches of that type of relationship and would look for someone that wanted to date only them.
Even if they were dating other women.
Sorry ladies...you dating a number of guys usually only appeals to YOU. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 11:23:18 PM | To be able to take their pick? It's probably happened to everyone. So good subject!
I've never dated more than one person. I wouldn't doubt that it happened to me unknowingly. But everyone is different and moves at their own pace. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/23/2008 11:34:04 PM | Geeze....am I suppose to eat only one meal a week?
Seriously, I have never understood the mentality of people who go out on ONE date and then act as if they are in an exclusive relationship. Nothing wrong with going out and having a good time with different people...until you are committed. Uhmmm, I mean...until you are in a committed relationship. | |
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