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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:21:45 PM | | I could ask the same question about men....why do they feel the need to date more than one woman at a time? How do they keep names straight, and how do they not call their different women by somebody else's name? Men are just as guilty as women, if not more so.. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:17:59 AM | most of us are looking for ONE great guy to date ... in the meantime, just sorting through the possibilities, same as men do.
once in a while it happens that we have more than one guy interested at the same time ... if you are a great guy, be patient, the not-so-great guys disappear pretty quickly. ;) | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:24:43 AM | Why the guys are answering a question directed at women is beyond me. Unless maybe they have a switch they can flip of some kind that goes from Man to Woman
quite simple really. Read the rules , there can be no polarized topics.
Both genders are free to post on ANY topic. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:39:54 AM | I completely agree with misspriss.
And in addition, dating in middle age is even tougher because you come acrooss so many people who are too set in their ways to even accomodate another persons feelings, or needs. So why should you have to commit to a relationship when you are not familiar enough with that person? | |
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nnbjr
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Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 409 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:18:14 AM | | I find this posting very much so interesting. What I don’t get is why do woman have number of guys my self, all I see are excuses really. One of them really stands out if your worth it or not, why the heck to you even date that guy, cause of good looks or something, give me a brake… Your either dating one person or your not, there are no half way’s or middle grounds in anything, you either have one car or none, you either like your mustang or corvette, you can’t love both equally, sure you may like your kids equally, but that’s not a point to be stated on here. I guess we can all put in our two cents into this argument, but the initial point being is, why hang with something you do not like, and keep something you want, why waste time on something you don’t need compared to something you want. It’s like saying, there are two wireless Companies, one has half of your interests compared to the other having remaining of your interest, but you got to go for one or none, so why waste your time on the dilemma, unless you’re an evil person who hasn’t yet been cut, but if you do, that’s on you. I guess there aren’t that many honest people on this Plant. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:25:15 AM | | rnbjr........I think you're missing part of the responses. While most has stated that they will date multiple people, most all have also said that when they meet one they're really interested in, they foresake the others to see if anything developes with the one. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:29:56 AM | how do you only date ONE person if you haven't met that ONE person you want to develop a relationship with?
if, as a MAN, you don't have the balls to express your desire to date one on one, then whose fault is that? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:56:58 AM | | Dating to me is just setting a date to meet each other. It is an opportunity to get to know each other and see if you have common interests. If you enjoy the other persons company, then the chances of future dates are better. But it's no more commitment than that date that is set to meet. If you both agree that you are exclusively seeing each other, then I feel you are beyond dating. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 11:10:32 AM | Gee how do you know Suzie is seeing 10 other guys at once? Also is she still seeing you? If she is, I guess she might have some interest in you? And exactly what is the correct information? I'd love to know and then I could write it down and hand it out to all the honeys I meet (LOL)!
The Eagle | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 11:12:03 AM | Just a side thought and I would appreciate if a woman gave the woman's perspective on this same issue. So here it goes.
Speaking from a man's perspective (not all but many men will empathize with this). Most men have huge egos which can easily be bruised. I agree with the women's rational for dating multiple men simultaneously if they so wish as I have no problem with this. Just be aware that most men's egos will get in the way once you disclose this information as they will no longer take you seriously.
To illustrate: After a few dates, the man might have a genuine interest in you UNTIL you disclose the fact that you are dating multiple men. When you do, he will most likely not disclose his disagreement or the fact that you just bruised his ego. In some situations they actually step up the efforts to get you naked after which they disappear. It’s sort of a "I show you" phenomenon. Instead, he will often relegate you to the "potential for a booty call" ladder if he find's you sexually attractive. If not, he will simply fade away. In either case, you chance of a long-term relationship once you disclose your multiple dates is close to zero. Why, because men don't like competition nor the idea that you might like someone else besides them. Like I said, it is an ego thing.
So in summary, if your prerogative is to date multiple men to weed in the pile, then just be aware that you will most likely continue to date multiple men for some time to come.
Now how about women? What are your thoughts when a man discloses that he is seeing multiple women? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:05:16 PM | ^^^^ my thoughts on dating ...
i assume that anyone i am dating is also dating others until HE tells me he is not.
anyone i am dating should ASSUME i am dating others, until he asks me not to.
period.
this nonsense about only dating one person at a time IS NOT called DATING.
we go on dates for the possibility of finding a person to get to know, to see if we want a relationship with them.
until you are in an EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP with one person, then you are still DATING. AGAIN, this is why it is called DATING. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:22:12 PM | Its called always in search of the "BIGGER BETTER DEAL" or the BBD.
It's at epidemic proportions that has hit both males and females.
Whats wrong with "dating" just one person at a time and see where that takes you?
Dating multiple people simultaneously just causes confusion.
Its close to impossible get anyone to give a "one on one" a good chance, these days and they will always have a reason to substantiate the behaviour.
I am not saying tie yourself down to someone after you just met them , but you can't just keep bringing in new people without fully exploring the possiblities with someone you already met ( and of course like)
If you are going to play that game, then you can come pick me up, in your car, your gas and pay for the dates or at least , go dutch...right?, of course you are going to say NO.
I was really just trying to make a point.
Believe me I am not a cheap person, but I see dating someONE can be like an investment at many levels, time, emotions and yes, also financial.
Unless you are just playing the field, then be upfront and dont give the " I really like you but...blah blah blah, BS talk..when you really mean you need to keep your options open in case you find the BIGGER BETTER DEAL! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:51:20 PM |
Its called always in search of the "BIGGER BETTER DEAL" or the BBD.
Its at epedemic proportions that has hit both males and females and thats why dating sucks these days.
Its close to impossible get anyone to give a "one on one" a good chance.
And therein lays the truth. It is the perception of the beholder which is what previous poster failed to recognize. If getting to know one person is the objective, then dating several people simultaneously cause a hindrance to this discovery given the half hearted energy you will give the initial date. Instead, it becomes a numbers game which ultimately leads to resentment and discouragement driven by the rancid results. It’s the same divided approach found among job seekers. Some will focus and concentrate their search while others send out resumes to every available opportunity. And guess who lands the sought for job? As I mentioned earlier, I have no problems with serial daters and I wish them the best of luck. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:00:52 PM | i assume that anyone i am dating is also dating others until HE tells me he is not.
anyone i am dating should ASSUME i am dating others, until he asks me not to.
period.
Maybe I phrased the question badly. It was related to how you perceive a man who disclose that you are one out of many he is seeing. Do you still pursue him with intensity and respect knowing it is most likely not reciprocated? Most men will disengage once this information is disclosed as they no longer see you as a credible option, no matter how good the initial perception. I think there is a difference between men and women here hence why I posed the question. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:01:01 PM | ^^^^ my thoughts on dating ...
i assume that anyone i am dating is also dating others until HE tells me he is not.
anyone i am dating should ASSUME i am dating others, until he asks me not to.
period.
this nonsense about only dating one person at a time IS NOT called DATING.
we go on dates for the possibility of finding a person to get to know, to see if we want a relationship with them.
until you are in an EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP with one person, then you are still DATING. AGAIN, this is why it is called DATING.
Exactly. For as long as I can remember, men have done this - so if this isn't a good idea, then they shouldn't have been doing it, no? Not to mention, it's not something that gets discussed, because it's the private business of those individual people while they are single - it's their business.
And therein lays the truth. It is the perception of the beholder which is what previous poster failed to recognize. If getting to know one person is the objective, then dating several people simultaneously cause a hindrance to this discovery given the half hearted energy you will give the initial date.
*First of all, women can multitask. We can watch TV, talk on the phone, balance a checkbook and watch dinner cooking. Well, that's a joke....sort of.
*Second, unless we're dating more than one guy in the same room in the same night, we'd have to be pretty dumb not to be able to focus on that one person at that time.
You have more than one friend, right? Isn't it silly to say having more than one friend in your life means you can't focus on any of the others? What about working a job? Isn't going home at night and having a personal life in fact not focusing on your job? How on earth are you able to do both in one lifetime? It's not that big a deal.
It was related to how you perceive a man who disclose that you are one out of many he is seeing. Do you still pursue him with intensity and respect knowing it is most likely not reciprocated? Most men will disengage once this information is disclosed as they no longer see you as a credible option, no matter how good the initial perception. I think there is a difference between men and women here hence why I posed the question.
I wouldn't care or change anything UNLESS I perceived him as bragging or using it to get a reaction out of me. In that case, I'd probably walk, not because he's dating (because it's part of being single), but because I don't have interest in him using the information to get any sort of leverage or whatever the case may be. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:03:15 PM | So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time? It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it...
if you just took a bit of time to understand the female psyche you'd see how easy it is to understand
those who date multiple are not ready to commit , SIMPLE !or as the above poster so well put it they are looking for the "BBD".
It's like being at Las Vegas .............when ya cash in ,,,,,,,,,,you wanna go in big.
also commonly referred to as.."Playing the Field" | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:11:57 PM | Betty,
You are usually very insightful and this is no exception. I fully understand your assessment. However, males and females look at this differently. Can males be hypocritical about it. For sure. But this little analogy has no validity.
You have more than one friend, right? Isn't it silly to say having more than one friend in your life means you can't focus on any of the others? What about working a job? Isn't going home at night and having a personal life in fact not focusing on your job? How on earth are you able to do both in one lifetime? It's not that big a deal.
Why? Becasue of emotions and more importanly, the emotions of the other party. In males situations, you are also including their ego which is not a hinderance among friends. Also, having multipe jobs simultaneously will most likely cause you to be mediocre at all of them (at best). | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:13:47 PM | Ok, if you want to compare dating to job seeking , then I am the type to "focus and concentrate" instead of send out resumes to every available opportunity, this way I am choosing and not taking what ever comes my way!
In the past when I chose to change jobs I did it without rush, and picked what company I would be interested to work for by getting information about the company and the position they had open and comparing it to my goals. I didnt just fax blast my resume and see what responses I got. It not so much if they wanted me but it was if I wanted them.
I won't be one of the herd that some women has coraled for the pickings, especially if she has the need to keep continuously adding to it.
That's fine if I was doing the same but that is not what I am looking to do. If I like someone and after the get acquainted period , I would like to move on to "one on one' level.
If someone is too busy trying to fit her collection into a workable schedule, I will have to pass on that person.
This is only one man's opinion (mine) and to each their own. I am sure there are plenty out there that do this multiple, serial dating thing , so may they find each other. | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:21:44 PM | HappyGilmore:
In all honesty, if I met ONE man I wanted to get to know ... yes, I would cease to date others until I had a better idea of what was going on with him.
Now, say I am dating this ONE man ... and we are getting along, having a good time for a few weeks and all is peachy ... then another man comes along who is interested in me, and he is not any better, not any worse than Man # 1 ... but I don't know if Man # 1 is long-term relationship material yet ... do I turn down Man # 2 for a date since Man # 1 has made no attempt to attach "strings"?
Here is how I see it. I know what I want. I give multiple men chances to show me what they "got". In my experiences, MOST of those men don't bring it and therefore do not move beyond date # 1. So, when I say I do multiple dating ... I mean I might go on 2-3 dates or meets in a week. In all likelihood, the next week (if I so choose) it will be 3 new men. I don't date multiple men for any length of time. If they are not relationship material, they are not dating material. Well, there are some exceptions, of course .... a single woman HAS to have SOME fun!! ;)
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