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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:09:30 AM | i have asked myself this same question several times for 3 years
prior to the last year and never did i see a useful answer and while we're at it......
why do married women pretend to be single......
maybe there is one here amongst Sooooooooo many replies.... | |
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SJC25
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Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 627 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:15:03 AM | Chippy2, I love your analogy.
To expound on it further, dating multiple people at once just makes sense. Guys, would you buy one fishing rod at a time until you find the one the suits you best? Ladies, you wouldn't buy one pair of shoes at a time until you found the perfect pair.
As long as each person knows it is not an exclusive relationship, I think it is only sensible to date multiple people. Of course, this only applies to non-sexual relationships. I think once sex enters the picture, the relationship should become exclusive. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:50:43 AM | There may be a differnece between having a date with more than one person over a given period, and having regular dates with several people over the same period.
Occasionally dating several people at the same time is simply the process of sorting out the ones you don't feel you are compatible with over the long term. It could be disheartening to find that you are dating a person every Tuesday, Thursday, and alternate Fridays, while they are also dating someone else Monday, Wednesday, and the other Fridays. One would have to wonder if they also had a family somewhere that saw them only on the weekends.
Having said that, I think the true measure of any persons worth is their ability to communicate. This not only includes the ability to be honest and forthright. but the willingness to step out from behind our colgate protective sheild and ask the things we are wondering about, from the people who would have the proper answer. In this case, this would be the person you are seeing.
I admit this non an easy thing to do, but if you eliminate that wonder, it will leave more time to wonder and anticipate the more wonderful things in exploring a relationship.
I would also like to take the gender thing out of it, as it tends to stereotype people into specific behaviours without actually looking at the individual. One poster suggested "Date like a man, before you are played like a B." I would ask that poster, how do you call it when the female is the more dominant person in teh relationship?
In truth, it all comes down to people looking for other people to spend their time with, with a hope of finding that one person they could actually stand to be around for more than 72 hours without intteruption, without wanting to pull out their hair or poke out the other persons eyes. I tend to get sick of myself now and then, so good luck to anyone thinking of the 72 hour test. =D
Honestly, Just ask the other person how they feel and where they stand.
Wee-Lamm | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:00:38 AM | as of me i dont like 2 date more than one person.even if u talk emails i feel very wrong esp when ur really interested in someone!I know there r alot of guy players out there.just wish everything was so simple!! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:37:09 PM | | I'll do the same thing if I'm single. You get to know multiple people and see who you click with best. You don't want to end up going steady with the wrong person. Don't take it personally if someone is a better fit for her. Doesn't mean you have to be in bed with all of them, I mean like hanging out/dinner dates. | |
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SJC25
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Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 632 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:35:38 AM |
I think it is total b.s. for a woman to be dating multiple guys if she expects the guys to always pay for the date.
Okay, by this reasoning it is acceptable for a man to date multiple women, as long as the man is paying for the dates? What about going dutch? Are both parties then allowed to have "half-dates" with multiple people?
I am sorry, but until there is an actual COMMITMENT (someone paying for my coffee doesn't count), I can see who ever I want, as long as I am not deceiving anyone.
Oh, and I'm not really sorry at all. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:52:00 AM | Women/Men won't stop at dating just one till they find one that is a keeper. But even then, who's to say that keeper they find is going to find them to be a keeper?  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:10:29 AM | | Coma White brought up an outdated term that should have never went away. Going Steady. Member that? I still insist on a formal commitment with a token of esteem such as a ring, bracelet, jacket or sweater. Just like the old days. It's soooo retro.If you want me exclusively, we go steady. If you can't even commit to that, then I'm free to date multiples...and I do! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:17:00 AM | | Don't guys do the same thing? I once had a male friend tell me that your typical guy on a dating site is talking to so many women that if he says he'll call and he doesn't it's because it's hard to keep all the women straight in his mind. (The advice he gave me is when a guy doesn't call email him a week or so later and say sorry I missed your call - could you please call again). And what do you know it worked - even though I haven't used that tactic in awhile | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:16:01 AM |
Okay, by this reasoning it is acceptable for a man to date multiple women, as long as the man is paying for the dates? What about going dutch? Are both parties then allowed to have "half-dates" with multiple people?
I am sorry, but until there is an actual COMMITMENT (someone paying for my coffee doesn't count), I can see who ever I want, as long as I am not deceiving anyone.
Oh, and I'm not really sorry at all.
That's not what I wrote at all.
I guess the real problem arises when a man and a woman are dating and one of them chooses not to date anyone else, whereas the other person is playing the field. That's a recipe for problems. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:37:23 AM | I have a female friend that is dating 2 guys at once, they know about each other too. She does it cause she needs a man's attention 24/7. So she just goes back and forth. To top it off, I was hanging with her and a few friends on Monday... neither boyfriend was there with us, so she baited another guy to come hang out with us... boyfriend #3???
We went to a restaurant, her, myself and my cousin. It was the first time she had been at a restaurant where she had to pay for her own meal in 2 years. She was complaining about it, and had her own money.
I told her she should just go over to the table across the room full of guys and start flirting. Surely one of them would buy her a meal. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:24:28 AM | | A lot of women have not met the person they 'want' to be with yet. Also one person cannot be everything to one person and they may need some space or a variety. Until things get serious there should not be a problem with someone having several friends they can enjoy. Doesn't mean they need to have sex with all of them, but then again, you should not buy a pair of shoes until you have tried them on. The main thing to worry about are std's. No one needs a surprise like that. Try not to give your heart away so quickly and you won't get burnt so badly. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:27:18 AM | | Married men do the same thing. And another that I recently met was a big joke. His picture had to be at least 20 years old and would have never recognized him if I didn't know there was a meeting to take place. Some people just have to live in denial | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:19:47 AM | | You know, I do not want to "date" (as in, be intimate with) many people over a long period of time, but I think people need to "date" (as in, get to know one another over conversation and [publicly appropriate] activities) more than one person to find out who they want for a partner. I am hopeful that I will know "the one" when I meet him (or meet with him a few times) but please do not confuse my patience and persistence with something more - erm - distasteful. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:27:19 AM | Went shopping on Monday; couldnt make a decision between 8 dresses so I bought the lot! wonder if that says anything about my dating style!
ps avoided the shoeshops that day! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:34:10 AM | I don't like to date one at a time because sooooo many times some major dealbreaker comes out once i've invested time.... but of course if i like one a lot & he wants to become exclusive, i wouldn't necessarily say no just to continue "juggling" -- lol.
Also, no one lives forever, and society is still very harsh on females about age. So. we don't have a lifespan of 300 years here, and none of us stay young & cute forever. Give us a break, lol. Probably the ones who multi-date are doing it because they can (they're in demand) so in a sense you might be happier going for someone less popular?? lol.
so, in essence, my 3 suggestions:
1. accept it, knowing that you'll win out when the match is right
2. if you don't like it, work to change societal perceptions about female beauty & age, lol.
3. if you don't like it, date someone who doesn't have as many "man-'portunities."
in any case, best of luck!
(and yes, after a little while, once she's really gotten to know you, ask her to choose & be willing to walk away if she doesn't.) | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:58:45 AM | | Because I love calling the guy the wrong name, screwing up their professions and other life details. Actually I date multiple men because I haven't found one that makes me stop and go hmmmm. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:28:23 AM |
So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time? It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it.
Dont know why they do that, but its not only some women. Its some men who do that too.
1 guy atta time for me! Hell i can barely remember what i did the day before. How does one remember the names of all these men/women they are dating at once? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:22:29 AM | re post 646:
"I don't like to date one at a time because sooooo many times some major dealbreaker comes out once i've invested time.... "
Makes sense! Except for "invested time"? Are daters "investors"? If so, why do they not use stockbrokers? lol
"but of course if i like one a lot & he wants to become exclusive, i wouldn't necessarily say no just to continue "juggling" -- lol."
What about anti-monopoly laws? lol
"Also, no one lives forever,"
Very true, not even 150 years!
".. and society is still very harsh on females about age."
Now, here I am not sure I agree! Is is so nowadays?
And not on men? Maybe not on looks, but other "factors" (eg "erectability", lol)
"So. we don't have a lifespan of 300 years here, and none of us stay young & cute forever."
Yes but women at 50 today look super!
"Give us a break, lol. Probably the ones who multi-date are doing it because they can (they're in demand) so in a sense you might be happier going for someone less popular?? lol."
Hey, no complaining, "competition" is good, we are not "communists"! lol
"so, in essence, my 3 suggestions:
1. accept it, knowing that you'll win out when the match is right
2. if you don't like it, work to change societal perceptions about female beauty & age, lol.
3. if you don't like it, date someone who doesn't have as many "man-'portunities.""
No prob, as long as it holds for both "sides"!
"in any case, best of luck!"
Luck is for rabbits (from an old American Airlines commercial, lol)
"(and yes, after a little while, once she's really gotten to know you, ask her to choose & be willing to walk away if she doesn't.)"
But what if by then I am accustomed to this "pluralism" and not intend to ask her to choose and to continue in this "free market" (lol) way????
2 cents | |
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