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El Efe
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 701 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/20/2008 2:00:19 PM | Hmm, bob has some messed up perceptions on what modern dating is really all about.
When women, and men that have the ability to do so, date more than one person at a time it really is an exercise in efficiency. If one's goal is to find a person that is the best fit, why screen one potential partner in the same time frame that one could screen four or five?
Also, where the hell do you get the notion that if a woman has kissed another man before you she is a raging cesspool of infectionary delight? Oh wait, you probably expect your perfect One to be pure and untouched. When you find her, be sure to let us know how good she is in bed, ok?
Now what if I told you I tend to date two to four different women over the course of a typical week, yet the ratio of my monetary input versus theirs during these outings was very close to 50%? Does that mean I, too, am a world-class CDC-level pandemic waiting to happen? Or am I just strapped for cash?
F. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:23:16 PM | Women don't always date multiple guys at once. If they meet someone that seems like he is the jackpot of looks, personality, and security. THAT guy gets all their attention, until things either work or they don't.
IF the lady you're dating is seeing other people, it's because she thinks she can do better than you. If you come out on top, it's because you are the best she could do... Not what she wanted all along. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:12:43 AM | So basically the answer to this question is that they are looking for the best deal. So in other words this is just nothing more than shopping for the best bargain. WOW..how wonderful that humans are considered to have no more worth than a pair of shoes.. I must be the only that thinks that humans have more worth than shoes then.. If there is no kiss, than it is not a date, period.. basically the poor fellow was nothing more that a pair of shoes that were tried on then place back into the box. If the woman is dating others at the same time that means she is just shopping around for the a better pair of shoes. If she is dating more than one person she DOES NOT value you or your time. But be prepared when one questions this behavior to hear a multitude of excuses for her behavior and for the blame to be placed for this behavior on you. If you decide to go out with her best friend the next day then ask her while dating her best friend at the same time, since she can date multiples then she should not get upset nor should her friend get upset. After all you are "only" trying to get to know them both. And while you are dating the two, maybe you then date their mothers also at the same time and let's not forget their co-workers and other friends also....The list goes on and on...very, very selfish and dishonest.     | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:37:04 AM | | Isn't it just great that women can use men just as much? So much for taking the higher road. Dating more than one person simultaneously is a slap in the face. It's a gesture of not committing to anything though they use the excuse that they are keeping their options open, or that they won't settle, blah, blah, blah | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:51:58 AM | Dating one person at a time - or casually just to fill the time - until someone better comes along, is a truly bad idea. As soon as you know someone is not right for you for the long term (assuming that's what you want!), it's best to stop seeing them. Otherwise, you may miss out on other people who may be right for you, since you're not available or have temporarily "settled" for someone you know won't last. (Except they sometimes do even though they really aren't right for you.) Once you're sure someone is a great match with true potential, that's the time to become exclusive.
Commiting to a poor match is just a really poor idea! I have to disagree with nmcmill2001 on this.
It has nothing to do with using anyone. It is using someone to keep seeing them when you no longer expect it to go anywhere. I think it's far better to be alone and open to new possibilities.
Edit, re: following post: Dating is exchanging bodily fluids? Hmm, that's a new definition that I've never heard before - and don't subscribe to! Your definition sounds more like fvck buddies than any path to a relationship. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:52:38 AM | Meeting someone for the first time is not a date..It is a meet up.. Dating occurs once you get to know the person and you are now going out with her and you are exchanging bodily fluids....IF she is dating anyone else while dating you then she is lying to you.. You are nothing more to her than a pair of shoes that she is shopping for. So the real and honest truthful answer this question is that women who date more the one person at a time view your human life, your time, your energy, your good intentions as nothing more than a pair of shoes...and when you call them out for doing such dishonest behavior they only offer excuses, not genuine and respectful answers, to try to make themselves feel better.    | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:17:02 AM | About 2 years ago, i met a woman online and met her for dinner. We had a great time. Flirting, eye contact, hand holding. We really hit it off. There seemed to be instant chemistry. I asked her if she was busy the following weekend. Then it happened. She said she was busy next weekend. BOB on friday...FRANK on saturday...and Pete on sunday. THAT WAS IT FOR ME....I'll be damned if i'm going to invest my time, energy, emotions and feelings in a woman that seems to be "dating" the entire male population.. I told her it was nice meeting her, but i cannot see her anymore. She drove home. She called me the next morning saying what a great time she had with me. I told her again that i will not get involved with a serial dater. She actually started to cry. It was bittersweet. I know it was only 2 hours with her, but i thought she may be special. I truly hate dating. Especially at my age. Why cant i find a sweet, honest simple woman that only wants me? So frustrating....The search continues  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:24:40 AM | ^^^PURPLEROCKS, I'm a pretty non-judgemental person, but that's harsh, even for me. You got an extreme case.
Most decent men or women don't line up dates one night after another, nor if they did do they announce it proudly...I would hope that's not a common thing, anyway. Sheesh. She could have just told you what nights she had free and made plans to meet up again, there was no need for the extra information. That's so harsh, I wonder if it was her idea (tho a bad one, obviously) of a joke.
I do believe that a first meeting is just that tho, a meeting. While dating 7 guys in 3 days is a bit much, narrowing down your options early on is ok - wanting someone to date only you exclusively after one meeting is also extreme.
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:51:57 PM | damn I better not tell them about my daily afternoon and night dates need a computer program to keep track . Well it is just the buffet you gotta compete come stuff in the platters are too fatty , too boney , some do not taste well and if you are not chesen well you cannot compete as raw liver along side something truely succulent, I hope to be someones juicy ribs on her plate often  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:48:57 PM |
She could have just told you what nights she had free and made plans to meet up again, there was no need for the extra information. Fact is on a site like this, the more popular women will have their pick of the litter. I agree, there is no reason why a woman with options has to explicit explain her options, but the fact is she is doing this whether she says this or not. Either she is dating multiple guys simultaneously or she has that option. That's important for guys to understand, get in line, hope for the best, don't build false expectations like if he were to approach a lady in the Real World, ask her out, etc. On internet dates, a dude shouldn't expect exclusivity until that topic is relevantly discussed. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:15:09 AM |
Most decent men or women don't line up dates one night after another, nor if they did do they announce it proudly.
I must not be very decent then, though as also mentioned some view "dates" and "meets" differently. While it has been rare when multiple contacts have actually turned into multiple shows of true interest in meeting, it has happened to me at times. I certainly don't view myself as being in the "popular" category but on occasion a few have shown up in my inbox almost simultaneously and if all communication goes well, at times the only way to weed them out at that point is to meet and see if there is a true connection.
So, yes, I have (though as I mentioned it has been rare) had a few “meets” back to back. I have never “dated” more than one guy though for weeks or months at a time, never had to as I weeded them or they weeded me out pretty early. I wouldn’t say I announce it to any of them, but I won’t lie about it either. I have never been so “popular” that I had to pencil in men such as what happened to Purplerocks, “let’s see , I have an opening on Monday, I might be able to fit you in” then again I personally don’t do any hand holding or overt flirting at a “first meet”.
It always seems that as anything in life it is either feast or famine, though in the majority of cases the narrowing down process is done through the emails, IM’s or phone calls stage until you got one real trooper left. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:34:07 AM |
Fact is on a site like this, the more popular women will have their pick of the litter. I agree, there is no reason why a woman with options has to explicit explain her options, but the fact is she is doing this whether she says this or not. Either she is dating multiple guys simultaneously or she has that option. That's important for guys to understand, get in line, hope for the best, don't build false expectations like if he were to approach a lady in the Real World, ask her out, etc. On internet dates, a dude shouldn't expect exclusivity until that topic is relevantly discussed.
Some women have their pick on or offline - this isn't specific to the internet at all, tho there may (for some, lucky them) be more options online. Yes, they may be dating more than one person, at least in the meet and 1-3 date part of the process. And yes - BOTH men and women should assume that's what the other person is doing whether or not it's being explained before you know them extremely well.
My point was that it's not necessary to be rude and list them off the way Purplerocks explained it. I for example, may have three meets coming up in the next week (which are probably all not my type, but anyway), but I don't need to tell the guy I am currently sitting with anymore than I am talking to others at the moment, and which nights (regardless of plans) I am not free on.
I must not be very decent then, though as also mentioned some view "dates" and "meets" differently.
I don't agree that you're not decent because - first of all, as you said - that's rare, and you're not announcing it in a long list by name along with what night. Also, yes - to me meetings don't count, when most turn out to be a "thanks anyway". I also believe that most of us should assume that others are using a narrow down process also. How else are you going to make an educated decision? I don't believe someone should stop looking based on a 15 minute first meet either (unless they really haven't met anyone else that they have interest in for a long time). | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:30:50 AM | I always thought that you could date multiple people, but when you officially get together as boyfriend and girlfriend, THEN it's exclusive.
I think it also really depends on the person too. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:00:31 PM | djchickie401 said:
My point was that it's not necessary to be rude and list them off the way Purplerocks explained it. I for example, may have three meets coming up in the next week (which are probably all not my type, but anyway), but I don't need to tell the guy I am currently sitting with anymore than I am talking to others at the moment, and which nights (regardless of plans) I am not free on.
I think if I were seeing someone who was seeing or meeting guys other than myself, I would prefer to be told than to be left in the dark, particularly if the girl is meeting guys hoping to find a boyfriend.
If she's just meeting friends to do things with (innocent things :P), then that's fine.
I find it a bit odd that someone can see multiple people at once and do so with a clear conscience.
I can understand how a girl could like seeing many guys, but if you have to keep that sort of info from the guys you're meeting, then maybe it's not such a good thing to be doing.
(And I like the way stddude compared it to eating at a buffet  )
I know it takes a while to get to know people, but you should consider how people would feel about knowing the truth. We're not just pieces of meat, ladies.... :P Haha.
I'm just kidding of course - it goes both ways a lot of the time, I'm sure. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/22/2008 2:06:16 PM | ^^^That would indicate that a woman is seeing many men continuously I hope , and in that case I agree with you - however a first (and probably for most, last) meet isn't worth bringing up, and even if it was, isn't exactly a threat. Nor is it something someone I was meeting for the first time should even consider or care about. Getting my name straight might be more the task at hand, as he's a complete stranger.
What you left out of my post was that in the first meet or 1-3 dates, you don't know someone well enough to explain your entire schedule, nor cancel everything else for them. Until you know if you even want to keep going with that person, none of that is relevant information (nor is anything they are doing relevant to you). | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/23/2008 1:13:55 AM |
I met this nice person online . This person was a bit distrot they couldn't understand why this other person told them they were afraid of commitment yet they are looking for the right fit.
What's up with that..curious!
I told them obviously they aren't being honest and your being taken advantage of
So chalk it up for experience and keep on trucking!!
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/23/2008 2:36:49 AM | first not all women do and its not jus woman either
second some are multitaskful while others like to focuse on one person at a time
having lots of options is better then having hardly any | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/23/2008 9:03:12 AM | ~ It a standard process ~ buy them for what they are worth ~ and sell them for what they think they are worth ~ and you are assured gains.
Buy in cheap and sell high!
The value is preceived !
Fortunatly we all preceive value differently and have different ideas of joy and fun.
I was talking to an old girl friend just last night ~ after 7 years we split up ~ she went on to fly high only to fall hard some 4 years later ~
She still doesn't get the picture! ~ a years and a half later after her fall. ~ she speaks of her work load, a cheating man and cheating and lying friends and the change of life all coming down at once on her. ~ I sitting there thinking, Yea, ~ I bet your suffered badly ~ crying yourself to sleep for many months and months ~ finding yourself all alone. ~~ But you know ~ much of it could have been avoided ~ but you just wouldn't listen ~ you wouldn't stop, you were winning and so clever! ~ and you jumped from one failed relationship right to another inside of one month. ~ no consideration was I given to my sleepless nights.
and even now ~ It's all about "your" pain. ~
Ofcoase, having years to recover , I've since moved on ~ and while I can't say I wasn't both touched and annoyed with her testomoney, ~ I'm well insulated from it ~ and slow to take any woman to seriously anymore ~ it wasn't my first rodeo ~ there has been several others. ~~ I learned and got harder with each one, ~ iBut I've also learned to appericate and enjoy a good women when I happen to find one.
I can size one up in record time anymore, it comes with experience, she'll never know it happened, Leave them where you find them. ~ Just pretty and smelling good don't cut it anymore ~ I'll enjoy them and expect nothing to come of it. I've never been one to be afraid to being hurt ~ yet I do fear of hurting others.
dance | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:59:07 AM | Why do women date multiple guys at once?
I have no idea why they do this.. I only date one woman at a time so why they feel the need to date more than one is beyond me. Now if they are meeting people for the first time and it is just a meet up, then that is okay.
I usually get a kiss after a date so it is not so nice to know that she could be kissing many others before and after she had gone out with me.  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 8:52:16 AM | | I could note "date intimatly" multiple men at once, but I do think people should at least meet others until they find the one they want to date one on one. I could not personally be intimate with more than one man, but I know people who can be and are. Meeting and getting to know someone is one thing, being intimate or stringing a bunch of people along is a huge NO NO. I do not kiss anyone I am not interested in either. Kissing is a big deal to me.....so, if a man gets a kiss, chances are...I really like him. :) And I will tell him. No games here. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 9:10:09 AM | This thread reminds me of something...
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men…The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.On the first floor the sign on the door reads:Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?”
So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
“Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
“Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day.
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 10:25:08 AM | I see no problem with dating (this means no sex if you are searching for a LTR) a few people at a time. This means getting to know someone until both parties either decide it's not for them or make a stronger commitment.
QUOTE: It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it... (BTW, the quote function is not working)
I find that incredibly frustrating and insulting because they delete your email message so they can't go back and check. Forgetting a person's name?!
Here's the thing: EVERYONE WANTS TO BE PAID ATTENTION TO. This translates to "interest". It's logic folks - but yeah most people don't do well on the logic train either..... | |
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musi5
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Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 724 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 10:33:13 AM | I don't date more than one person at a time...Mostly, because I don't have the time or money for it...
I don't know, i just feel like i'd rather spend my energy/time with one person getting to know them without the distractions of yet another person.......i have a hard enough time as it is trying to decide if I actually like someone, without being "torn" between two women....lol | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 3:49:07 PM | Maybe you ladies should invite all your potential boyfriends to one place for a date.
Since the guys would be all in front of you at once, you could make comparisons between them a little more easily... and you would have an extra night free during the week for shopping or whatever. :D
*realizes this probably isn't a good way to attract women*
*dodges tomatoes* | |
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