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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 5:00:09 PM | Well depends on the woman-- alot of women date with a purpose-driven motive-- i.e. play the numbers game in hopes of finding a committment oriented mate.
Are you a commitment oriented male? Does your profile say long term? Think about the vibes your giving out ...
Thats not for everyone of course but personally I think its best to date around in the beginning until you know you've got "a keeper" i.e. a man you like that is around for the long haul and not just for sex or his own self absorbed needs.
Hope that offers some insight at least! Take care | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:13:42 PM |
So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time?
Because, at the rate things are going, I will need to date 200 men to choose one. By dating a dozen at a time, I can meet in a month, what would take a year if I only dated one at a time. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:44:25 PM | ^^^^ You're right. If you're at all picky about sex partners,
life is too short to date one person at a time, and as a general rule
people try harder to please a person who has many attractive options. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/25/2008 8:50:23 PM | OP,
I imagine you could find plenty of women that feel the same way. There are plenty of soloists out there. Try putting that in your profile as a preference...
ER | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:05:46 AM | WOMEN now have their pick of the litter......their meat market.....their buffet line......their place to window shop. It's called THE INTERNET and they are out numbered by guys 3 to 1 on dating sites.
I don't agree with narrowing your search by employing a huge dating blitz as if it were some science experiment. This removes the emotional element and sabotages any chance the women has at accomplishing her goal. Why? Because she's likely already thinking about the next date or has detached herself from feeling anything due her pragmatic approach.
The best way is to find someone compatible is when you have no expectations. Unfortunately, this is hard to due when you meet someone from a site like this.
Famous Quote -
"All of Life's Greatest Disappointments are due to Unrealistic Expectations" | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:35:30 AM | I have to wonder if all the guys who'd like women to only date one guy at a time do the same in their dating? If so, then that's their preference and they should simply state it in their profiles and hope to meet like-minded women. It's not wrong to do it either way or some other way - but don't expect others to do it your way unless that also happens to be their way!
I can only go by my own reasoning and experience on this, from when I was dating. Over about 18 months, I corresponded with nearly 1000 women. I rarely met anyone before writing for 2 to 4 weeks. Of those 1000, I met about 50 (I'll use 50 in my example, as that's how many I actually met, and I dated SOME of them awhile). Very few of those were NOT potential matches at first - I'd screened them pretty well, and most of those who were not were still very nice, just not as right for me as I hoped at first. If I had dated each one for the requisite 3 or 4 dates (minimum to get to know someone enough to decide to continue, IMO) or 1 to 3 months (let's say 2 months average) to find out if they were that ONE who was my ideal match, then it would possibly take me 100 months to find that ONE if she happened to be the last one. Let's cut that in half, and say it would take 50 months to find the ONE by dating each sequentially - so it would possibly take four YEARS to meet the person I wanted to meet! Now, given that the vast majority of those women wouldn't wait for me to get around to dating them, I might have to start over each time I decided someone was NOT right for me. That could take a couple of months to find someone else to date, so we're back up to 100 months to find the ONE, even if she were in the middle of the group of 50.
Instead, by meetng and dating 2 or 3 or even 4 different women during the same 1 to 3 month span, I could avoid losing good prospects (who'd move on to someone else since I wasn't seeing them yet), and get to know the women I was seeing to determine true mutual compatibility. Instead of nearly 8 years, I found my ideal mate in less than 18 months, and did NOT feel like I should SETTLE for someone just because I was tired of dating! And BTW, many of the women I dated also dated other guys, as did the ONE. It's good to know that we chose each other based on true mutual compatibility AND that we both had a basis for comparison to know that it was real. The relationship has lasted over 8 years and is going strong, so our approach worked - at least for us!
Dating IS a numbers game, combined with good judgment and effective use of time. When you find the right person, the emotional connnection is certainly there, and by having a basis for comparison, you avoid being blinded by your emotions so don't choose someone who is unsuitable in other ways. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 10:50:30 AM | Zentral, EXCELLENT description...it takes way too long to get to know one person at a time if you're going to go thru 50 or more before you find the one you mesh with. And I agree, what one does is not necessarily what another does, nor should we expect it of them. Rather, it's better to list it or look for it before you even start really talking to someone...it's a matter of finding someone with a similar mindset really.
And I don't always think that men who don't like women who do this aren't doing this themselves, I just don't think they want to come clean about it (after all, if they're doing it, then they run the risk of women agreeing and doing the same - do as I say, not as I do, as it were). | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:09:49 PM | I think the only reason someone, not just women, would date multiple people is there is one they really like but for some reason either they are unsure about how that person feels or they haven't discussed exclusivity and want to keep someone in the wings waiting to go to. Other reasons could be that the woman is really just interested in dating men and not being involved in a relationship.
Guys - ask. If you like a woman enough to want to be exclusive, raise the question early on for discussion. If they say they are not ready to be exclusive with you, ask them if its because they don't know you well enough or if you're just not the right one. Honesty is the best policy always.
I'll be honest. It's a rare occurrence that I don't know on a first date whether I am interested in continuing to see someone. If I don't feel there is potential, there is no second date. If I feel that way, I'm very likely to not date anyone else.
Another note, I really think it's fine to date more than one person as long as the person doing the multiple dating is honest with everyone.
I wish you the best. | |
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L.D.
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Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 735 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:04:03 PM | Recently I went on a date with someone from POF. Great date I thought. She had me pick her up at her house, then loaned me a couple of books on a subject we'd discussed, and we planned to see each other the next Saturday. Then on Wednesday she hadn't returned my Monday phone call. (She got a Sunday thank you email.) Then I talked to her and she said she had some family thing going on and she didn't want to date until after the holidays - as in 2009.
Then I got a generic email about a situation in her life with her daughter. I'm sure it was legit, but the problem was, she cc'ed another guy on the same email, killing two boys with one "send."
I'm a guy who pays for everything, so dates get expensive. I wouldn't want to date more than one person at a time, if there was a second date - I'd rather just play it out and see what happens. There have been studies, however, where females will "gather seed" from multiple males to get the best offspring possible. I think some of that genetic hormonal stuff plays out in how the majority of women date. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:22:06 PM | The problem is with the initial question, Why do some women date multiple guys at once? In my experience, offline and on, ALL GUYS date multiple women at once. This is normal.
No one, male or female, should close down all their options until they have heard the magic words, "Let's be exclusive." Life is short. The whole purpose of dating is to find that someone that will make all the others seem like so much chaff. And who feels the same way about you. We take vows of faithfulness when we marry, get engaged, get committed. Until then, everyone is a free agent. Just because A has coffee with B does not mean A should now sit home and wait and turn down all others until B gets up off his/her duff. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:52:49 PM | | I have to agree with this. I have been told more than once that a guy is interested in me, even to the point of chatting for days on end any hour of the day, and then all of the sudden, Poof! They disappear! And even then, I am not going to marry the first guy I meet. Done that, don't want to do it again. Dating is just that, going out having fun, and getting to know one another, and until one side or the other verbally requests exclusive rights and is accepted, there is no reason to commit to just one person. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:58:52 PM |
L.D. wrote: I'm a guy who pays for everything, so dates get expensive.
Paradoxically, sometimes paying for everything works against you. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/27/2008 4:52:30 AM | | I dated a woman for one night and all she talked about was the guys she hadda meet...later on in the week.....end of the night gave her a hug and told her it wasnt my business what she was doing and didnt give a s----t.Also told her it wasnt very tasteful....seen it all in this dating thing and some dont get it....and never will..lol. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/27/2008 8:47:36 AM | Until it is discussed between the man and I to be exclusive, I will date others.
I am not looking for marriage or even to live together at this point.
I would like just one man that I can spend time with and not share with the masses.
Am happy enough in my life at this point to want a man-Not need one. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:59:36 AM | trymeonce57,
she was not interested in you because a female that likes someone would never talks about guys she's been with or has a crush on in front of you. You are in the " friend zone ". It's their own female's business on how many people they want to date. Vice versa | |
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aug13
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Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 743 | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:43:04 PM | I'll qualify this by saying I'm assuming sex is involved. Because, if it isn't, then people are just friends. Now, on with my answer.
I think women(and men) who do this are:
1 Immature and are afraid they will miss out on someone better.
2. Lacking in self esteem. They seek validation. The more people they date, the more wanted they feel. The more wanted they feel, the more they like themselves.
3. Selfish and cannot make the sacrifices needed to take the time to get to know one person at a time on a romantic level.
Lateef | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 4:37:51 AM | | Basically it all comes down to your definition of dating. My definition of dating includes intimate situations.. In other words, If I am dating someone then I am at least kissing and cuddling with her on a regular basis. Now, if I am just hanging out with her and going to the movies and she is paying her way and I am paying my way then that is just hanging out and is considered a friendship... The problem I see in this dating world these days is there are too many mixed signals and also mixed definitions for the word date. I think the word date or dating is defined in different ways by different people. Going out, hanging out, and dating are different situations.. A person hangs out or goes out with their friends.. A person dates his girlfriend, or wife.. To me dating involves kissing sometimes on the first date sometimes a month after dating.. So when I woman tells me she is also dating others, that to me means that she is also kissing and making out with them, but if that same woman says we just met out for some drinks or we are just hanging out then that is not dating. Dating more than one person is selfish and immature. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 7:10:32 AM | Here is the rundown on women who date multiple guys. One thingis women like to keep there options open cause there too picky, but mostly its cause shes imature. Women know this because every one of them have done this when they were little girls playing barbi and ken dolls. its just most women grow up and get married or just grow up period. but the small percentage of girls who dont grow up are free spirited people who do as the please. some are even bipolar just another word for some who doesnt want to grow up. but in any case women that do multiple dating, you better bet your ass some of those guys are getting a piece of it. and if your not then you are the friend that give her the time she seeks mentaly that the oether are noit giving her cause they are too busyt pounding her time out. once you finda girl that is like this just walk away its a waste of time. find some one thats grown out of that stage. most woman to do this are either still in college finding them selves or woman that are sluts that dont care if they get STD's. but it goes both ways cause guys do the same thing and are called players. but you do find more and more woman doing this now days its like a trend or something.
I agree with one of the OP on this that woman want to feel wanted and they get a high off of it. I know this cause i shoot whith models all the times and the stuff i hear is wild but what i know is they get off when they have all these men after them.
ever see a girl holding on the her cell phone like its a life line. then they look down at it ever few minutes. or they arte doing a lot of texting. a lot of the time its them and there one boyfriend. but then some times its a buch of guys they are jumbling around. some tinmes they dont answer cause they dotn like or are bother buy a guy calling so much. this is why you see woman screening there calls so much. but the point here its the woman that wants this stuff to feel wanted and have self power over men. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 9:20:04 AM | | I just think people should have more value then a pair of shoes or a cel. phone, that is why I see that dating more than one person at time is not good. But as I have stated in earlier posts that the term dating means different things to others so there lies the problem. Dating to me means you are going steady or exclusively with one person. Hanging out, meeting out for drinks or a movie is another thing. So if you are just meeting people, then you are just doing that, "meeting people." If you are dating, then the act of meeting as many humans as you can should no longer be going on. It is funny how in my experiences that I have gone out or hung out with women that I am "just friends" with, but have "dated" my girlfriend. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 10:41:10 AM | | Bobi I totaly agree with you on this one. i think in my own opinion is that if your meeting people then that is what it is, if your dating then you seeing one person not mutliples. if you just hanging out then that is what it is hanging with friends. but i see people here use the term dating mutiples and it just not right. how can you truly date multiple of people and feel right about it. that means getting personal with each guy on an entiment level. this not MTV reality fake tv a shot at love. No one does this in the real world. thats like telling them all your nothing to me untill i get what i want out each one of you. as i said before imaturity is what multiple meeting dating is. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 10:43:38 AM | | i think all people should do what they want until things get serious, i.e. a commitment is spoken of or you start sleeping w/the other people; i don't think u have to make it aware that u date or see other people...u prob should. But u don't have to; but once you start dev intimate physical or emotional connections, then u need to take a step back and reasses because at that moment your misleading the others your dating. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/1/2008 10:52:13 AM | | I think "some" women date multiples, it's not for everybody. For some women, it is hard to find a quality guy. Dating is like a full time, second job! | |
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