| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/14/2008 2:42:46 PM | Hi Knitten Kitten,
Like the commercial says "being an educated consumer is your best bet".
Dating is a tool to find the right one for you. If any man asked me to be exclusive on date #1...I'd run like hell...because surely he has control issues. On date #1 I am still deciding whether you get #2 or not.
When you are looking for a job, you don't only interview with one company at a time. And even after numerious interviews with the same company you are not guaranteed a job either...even if they offer you one. Unless you get it in writting with a start date and salary confirmation on company letter head...the job is not officially yours. Same thing with looking for a house or an apt...or furniture for that matter. So why should dating be any different.
A smart woman keeps her options open till she finds someone worthwhile to be exclusive with. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:29:42 PM | | The only simple answer to this, People like to keep there options open. when it come s to men and women who are looking for more than they can reach for. sooner or later they learn about how the game is played, and find a mate once they get hurt enough times. But i do say multidating has its advantages to those who know how to play well. but for all of you out there bitter and upset about this. come on itsa game you cant win and its time for you to just find some one in your zone and stay there. because reaching for more than you can get is just silly. | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:34:06 PM | I never understood it myself, i tend to only focus on one woman at a time and i dont understand how women can date muiltiple men.
For me i see a woman i like, find out if the interest is mutual and if not move on to the next, muiltiple women would be too confusing... | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:18:17 AM | For males or females, I think it's ok until you cross the sexual line--sure, it may take a few dates with new people to find someone that really sparks your interest--but personally, once I find a good connection with a man, and certainly once I have sex with him, it's no longer an issue of keeping "options" open for dating others. I prefer to concentrate on the one that holds my interest.
Although I'm sure it happens in the dating world, I really don't see how dating(or sleeping with, whatever) could be an enjoyable experience....unless you're truly not looking for a relationship. Recreational dating is not for me, obviously.  | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:51:38 PM | It all comes down to if you are comfortable with your dating patterns and if you are willing to communicate it with those you are dating. Personally, I've never dated multiple people and I have no interest in it.
If I come across someone I am interested in getting to know, that's all there is to it. It doesn't mean he's the one. It means, I like how we click and let's see what happens. We might never meet. We might have one meeting. We might be together 5 years or a lifetime. I'm not shopping for something better to come along. I'm not looking for something to pass the time. I'm looking for that special connection, which I admit is rare. | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/21/2008 8:36:21 AM | Because men do it ... men seem to have the control/power with regards to a relationship and whether or not its going to be a committment ... so, the best defense a woman has is to date as many men as possible... thus leaving more opportunity for HER to find a man who is genuine and not playing games...or at the very least, to at least have a date on the weekends and not have to wait for ONE man only to decide when they go out, leaving the woman hanging by the phone alone wondering if he's going to call.
Lets just say it helps even the playing field. <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:52:30 AM | One at a time is enough for me...I like to be monogomous and I would expect the same from a person I was dating. (now I just have to get that date lol) | |
|
Cal_Ab
|
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 885 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/21/2008 1:27:36 PM | ... because it's called DATING, not committing... and guys do it as well.
So, you go to dinner with someone. Now you aren't allowed to go out until they tell you that it's over. Does that sound right? Not to me.
Once you and your date have spent enough time together to consider being committed, then you should be secure enough to discuss it. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/21/2008 1:42:24 PM | | That's right, Cal Ab. People (men and women) date until they find someone they personally want to spend more and more time with. Then the desire for exclusivity has to be communicated and agreed on by both parties. Until then, both people should still be out meeting/dating. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/21/2008 5:23:04 PM | woman who date multiple men , and visa versa , are "shallow".... why dont woman and men,make an "effort"for one person ?"oh well, we all wouldnt want to get" stressed out "....an effort to build a relationship, is too much "stress"... how weak we are ?come on ppl!, remember are fathers and mothers goin through long marriages?..... in some cases they shouldnt have been married.... we just know too much for our own good , we cant even get a "boyfreind and girlfreind relationship goin..... wouldnt want too stress ourselves out ..... my goodness give a break!
what are girls and boys sopposed to do?freinds first....whats a matter cant you ppl make a "freind"... i can make a freind , out of the nearest panhandler... in a heart beat!!
im not saying everybody have an "orgy", but the rules put in place about all this is terribly "stupid ", frustrating !!!..... nuff said | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:57:48 AM | try asking the guys why they date multiple girls at once...and you'll have your answer.
At least I find women are more honest about dating multiples...most guys try to hide it. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/22/2008 10:21:37 AM |
So, you go to dinner with someone. Now you aren't allowed to go out until they tell you that it's over. Does that sound right? Not to me.
Not to me, either. But just because you had a dinner date, does not mean you're datING them. If you landed a date with a girl, went out, and afterwards, stopped by the bar to meet up with your buddies, would you say to your friends you and she are 'dating'? That doesn't sound right to me, either. Personally, I call it the "pre-dating" phase.
I think a person can be in the "pre-dating" phase with multiple people at the same time, although I can't imagine someone would have time for too many people. The pre-dating phase can quickly jump into dating -- that depends on the gal you're with and the mutual interest, etc. It all varies.
But once you start "getting on base" with multiple girls at one time, is when problems arise. Seriously -- would someone go out on 3-6 *dates* with someone in a row, and NOTHING physically would happen? If so, I think you'd have to ask yourself if the girl liked you and whether or not you were on the "friendship ladder" (you're a whore for attention, as a guy). Obviously you can only spend so much time until -something- happens... regardless of whether they're 'the one' or not. And when you're entering that milestone with more than one lady at a time, it gets complicated, etc. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/22/2008 3:46:37 PM | | Same reason guys to it, they are looking for the right person to get serious with. They might not know right away how they feel about someone so they keep dating others | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:54:01 AM | | Not sure what you mean by "It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you." Bottom line is, if you want a mutually exclusive relationship with a woman and the feeling is not reciprocated, or you don't think it will eventually be reciprocated, why would you expect her to stop looking... ? Maybe you should check your expectations...just a thought. | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/23/2008 3:00:57 PM | I don't know a lot of woman that do the multiple dating. I think most people - men and women - will give someone they find interesting their full attention. If they don't find them interesting after the first date or second date, they should (and most do) just tell the other person such and move on. I'm not saying they make a commitment right off - they just subconsiously concentrate on one person at a time.
I agree with this statement...if I find someone who I find interesting and want to know more about I will give that person my full attention...again as stated above:
-I'm not saying they make a commitment right off - they just subconsiously concentrate on one person at a time.-
 | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:39:00 PM | | What you want committment on the first date? I think that you miss the whole concept of dating, its to take time and get to know someone before a comittment. Sounds like you want a hsotage. Why do married men date so many girls? | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:29:28 PM | As a nod to the people who are complaining.. I understand. I know it sucks if you're "rules of dating" say that when you are with someone, you should be exclusive, and you really (desperately?) want it to work. I've been there, and kinda still am.
Having said that, the reality is what it is, and whining isn't going to change it. So I'm adapting. I'm trying to back-down (lower?) my expectations. Trying to understand that a date is a chance to get to know, and enjoy the company of, the other. I might even date more than one person in the same time period (but not at the exact same time :)). I'm contemplating this one, and think I'm ready for it.
After my marriage of over a decade, and never having dated much prior, I didn't understand these things. I'm still not sure I understand, or can control, the "take it slow" part. I see potential, and my mind starts making plans and setting up expectations of a future. I am coming to terms with (1) that I've been doing this, and (2) recognizing that's not how many play this game. In the words of Bugs Bunny, if you can't beat'em, join'em.
So, the facts are: 1) people in the dating stage of their lives date multiple people. 2) You will probably be better served by adapting to this reality, than kicking at it.
PS. I don't know how the scheduling of this would work, being a single dad, and working fulltime+. But what's the alternative? | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:24:48 PM | | I believe in instant chemistry. If u click u see that person and give it a shot. If u dont click dont bother goin on a 2nd date. All that crap is game playing and both men and women know it. Arent we all here to at least click with someone find chemsitry and take it from here or are we gonna play the field and date till we are 90 years old? | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/24/2008 12:54:41 AM | Ok so here is a question.
I know a girl is dating or talking to or whatever she is doing with other men...100% sure of this...
So I tell her that I am dating other women at the moment. But she does not offer the same information to me. I ask her if she is dating anyone and she says she just has friends. I don't think she is sleeping with anyone but I do know that she is telling a few guys that they are the ONLY ONES...me included!
Any advice? | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/24/2008 7:14:20 PM | I am not sure why people date more than one person. If its gonna happen it will happen if its not this one or that one. My roommate does the same thing dates probably 4 or 5 girls at a time I dont get it. How can you possiably keep track of who is who and what is what. I am sure he has his reasons we all have our reasons for doing what we do. I make it a personal choise not to cloud my relationships with 2 or 3 others. Makes me who i am i guess and i like me so it doesnt matter to anyone else but me and mine if i just date 1 at a time. And for those that think women do it less than men they need to rethink that idea, I have found more than several times that i date 1 girl at a time while she dates two or three guys. Its all good but if we decide to go to the next level i will not tolerate that Been there done that and got my heart wrentched out. I am me and i wont change that for anyone. You be you and we will let you be you.
Just some musings from an old Texas Cowboy lol | |
|
| |
Home
login 
