| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/3/2009 6:52:04 PM | Thank you Essex!
Women are starting to play the game the same way men have played it forever. It really gets rather boring to know that the man you are with is treating you as a side dish.
We're not stupid. We know when you're waiting for something that looks more like the main course you had in mind.
If you want attention you have to pay attention.
Too often you guys think you're "all that" ; and just because a woman sees you a time or two its a done deal.
If you want something other than the person you are with you should just say so. Men have always been content just to have someone around to keep them happy for the time being, but make no bones about replacing them for something else they think they want more.
We are learning ! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:23:54 PM | Because if we focus on just one guy (YOU) that same guy gets freaked out and removes himself from the picture, then we are at square one. Again!
Guys do it all the time! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:17:43 AM | | What the hell are you people so interested in this for.. We used to call it playing the field.Multiple dating... come on .For the women its a bunch of meal tickets instead of one. For the guy hes just trying.. to get some...Everybody is in it for their own gain.. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:14:20 AM |
For the women its a bunch of meal tickets instead of one.
I've heard that some women do this, but can't understand why.
If I'm not interested in someone, the last thing I'd want to do is have dinner with him. I'll buy my own dinner - thank you very much...  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:10:56 PM | | the main question is ...how often are you with her? if you are not around she is going to get lonely, bored and horny. so if you want her to be with you and only you, you need to do your job. call her, be there when she needs you, give her enough so she doesn't need anyone else...if you are not there for her you have no right to complain if she is looking else where. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:43:58 PM | | Because you have to date man people to find the right person, and as lond as exclusivity hasn't been discussed....and agred upon, it's fine. Gosh...I would feel a lot of pressure acepting a date if I thought that it meant that I had to be exclusive immed! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:19:15 PM | Ding Ding Ding! Perfectly explained McLovin...
I dated and really fell for a gal who just could not get serious. Same issues... low self esteem and needing to be wanted continuously. It didn't make me feel real good to find out she was dating many more guys than just me. Learning experience. Figure out the warning signs and find someone who is real. In the moment with you to stay. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:47:19 PM | There are some good guys out there, but you have to date around to find one worth investing your time into. Time is not replaceable. It's not like you're going to get married on the first date. Most men just want one thing, regardless if his profile says Long Term. Both parties should be honest of their dating status. Standard Litmus test ? A guy is not serious unless he is showing me diamond-ish.   | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 10:58:57 AM |
I dated and really fell for a gal who just could not get serious. Same issues... low self esteem and needing to be wanted continuously. It didn't make me feel real good to find out she was dating many more guys than just me. Learning experience. Figure out the warning signs and find someone who is real. In the moment with you to stay.
Did you actually communicate to her that you wanted her to be exclusive with you, or did you just assume she knew this? Did you tell her that you had fallen for her? We can't read minds. People need to be able to verbalize what they want and need to be happy within the relationship. We can't just wish for what we want and expect the other person to just know. It's not easy to be vulnerable and risk rejection, but it has to be done in order to get ones needs met. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:15:10 PM | | You are so right. I date but that doesn't mean that I am willing to sleep with all of them. However, I have found that guys to sleep with multiple women while dating. That's the difference they don't understand. I think its hard for them to understand that concept that we can date but not sleep with them. And again, you are right, that is keeping our options open. Thanks for your remark, very well said. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:21:17 PM | This is so very well said...you will both know if you are the "one". Until that time...it is called dating, not chain's and shackles.....life is too short for commitment to the wrong person or person's. One should just go with the flow...... | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 2:24:11 PM | Standard Litmus test ? A guy is not serious unless he is showing me diamond-ish. When I hear this or read this sort of comment made by a female, I'm thinking:
1. She's been brainwashed by DeBeers family propaganda
2. She's got DeBeers stock
3. She's seeks partners primarily for their status as a mealticket
4. She's defines her identity via her relationship with her partner instead of projecting her identity from within
5. High Maintenance | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 2:52:42 PM | | Very well said. If a man is not willing to sacrifice some of his time for a woman, then she should not be waiting around....That is just not acceptable in 2009.....What happened to the so called equality between men and women????? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 9:22:00 PM | bikeman, re: litmus test
1. You're overanalyzing.
2. Numerical format does not discern you from the majority as being superior. It just means you can count to 5.
3. I can count higher than 5. (It's next to the sign that says you gotta be this tall to go on this ride)
Diamonds are a blank check de el corazon.[/ i] They're only a symbol. A ring of gummy bears means the same thing if he means it. Its all about the guy. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 9:27:34 PM | I am sure my reasons are different(not doing this, but did once upon a newly divorced time).
I was newly divorced and my ex made me feel like crap, so I was very shocked to see that men had a genuine interest in me, and found me attractive, after being married for 23 years.
So, I went out, with different people, until I found someone I wanted to continue seeing. I actually remembering thinking I was gonna get fat from eating out. LOL Now I went out only about once a week, but still, it seems odd to me now that I really did this. Only because I had not done this in my youth, but had a boyfriend for 3 years whom I married at age 18. Had I dated around, I probably would not have married him!
Above posters are correct- guys have always done this and it's fine, but if women do it, we are trashy.
THAT is not fair. Mainly because they could be sleeping with multiple people and MOST women would never consider that. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 9:30:04 PM | It's simple...
I'm creating a harem.
I wouldn't date multiple men if I was seriously dating someone; that would way over-stretch me, and usually if it's serious, you've agreed to only see each other. However, if we're just seeing each other casually, I'm not going to let Mr. Right slip by while I'm entertaining myself with Mr. Right Now.
Under no circumstances, however, would you find me sleeping with multiple partners (separately or together!) | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 10:28:40 PM | | As many of you have stated....we can. It is a great time to be a woman who can support herself (and family). Helps a man know that you don't "need" him but rather want him or a "man" in yor life. I have recently been called "a serial dater." lol....I dat e a few men but do not sleep with them all nor do I mislead them. Am always honest and prefer a man be the same. How can we know if we really want something more with one person in a sate? I don't need a free meal, what I need and want is an honest, confident man who is emotionally and physically available. Not an easy task to find. Until I meet one worthy of me committing my time and energy, I will continue to date numerous men. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/11/2009 10:51:24 PM | bikeman, re: litmus test No, you're actually the one way overanalyzing. I'd would have liked to reply to the rude personal message you sent me, but you blocked me.
I'll take the high road and just state the opinion that I mention often in these threads. People make comments often based on limited life experience. My limited life experience is I was jilted by a woman who defined me to be cheap; she had trouble maintaining her lifestyle without running up debts, yet she labelled me cheap. That's probably why I flew off the handle with my high maintenance comments. Those are my limited life experiences. She probably would not have been happy with any sort of jewelry that I purchased for her. This limited life experience may have jaded me a bit when I read comments about how SOME women expect unconditional largesse from men.
Sometimes people are never satisfied with anything. Their glass is always half empty, even when it is full. That could be a reason why SOME women date multiple guys. That type of woman is always looking for someone better, the guys she dates will never rate high enough for her, and she'll rationalize her breakups as being some fault of the guy and not hers.
To be fair, men can have the same attitude about women.
Ok now back to your regular PoF programming... | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:19:02 AM | Because they can't trust their own judgement in finding a decent one to date exclusively to see if he's the right one then move on to another if he's wrong. Same reason a girl wants a serious relationship but says she wants casual until she knows him. Say casual is just a bit more than a fb to her and you'll get accused of calling her a s. Try to explain that all serious relationships can if both want to, start off slow, odd dates nights in, and they say that is casual.
Which is quite worrying really to us blokes, cos with logic like that, it's no wonder we get concerned when we find out you are dating 5 blokes at the same time. Why would you want to, and what benefits are you getting from these guys, are you just after the free dates, casual sex. Will you tell the other four when you decide you want a relationship with one. My experiences say no, they keep the others as back up with telling them she's got with me.
I was getting to know one girl exclusively, so she said. All others were just friends. Then I found she'd arranged to meet a guy she'd started chatting to a week before, but hadn't told me. She'd decided he was her soul mate. But when discussing this she said she'd had a date the week before with someone off face book but he was ill so cancelled. I pointed out that she's said all others were only friends and agreed we were getting to know each other exclusively. To which she replied yes he is a friend,it's the same thing. So in other words all these other guys she'd met as friends that I did know about anddidn't mind about cos they were friends were in fact dates, even though we were getting to know each other exclusively.
She admitted they were dates when i pointed out meeting someone with an open mind that you may get with them if you like them is a date. Meeting someone as a friend is meeting someone that you have no intention of getting with.
Another was supposed to meet me, she said she was going to her mates at the weekend instead, a lie that she later admitted to, and instead met a guy for sex on warwick services car park. She didn't fancy him, he tried to force her into her car. she got away.
Then she came back to me begging forgiveness and I like a fool did. three weeks later she was in a relationship with a guy. So again lies and deceit.
Girls think they can play the field and use blokes and that guys will accept it because some guys have done it in the past. Well you won't get a decent faithful guy like that. If he finds out he'll be gone | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:11:45 AM | Cause if it don't work out with one guy, I move to the next. I hate when guys never call e after a date, they never talk to me again. it's really sad.
I can never have a date with one guy. the same thing happens every time.
Why can't someone date me? | |
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