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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:39:00 AM |
Respect is earned. You respect me, I respect you. I date one at a time. Give my attention to my date, try to get to know about her as much as possible
A person can get to know more than one person well at a time.
The irony of saying women who date more than one person is insecure is that it seem very insecure to say single date is equal committed relationship. Is a little scarey to be honest. If you do not belief this, then she would not be cheating and you should have no problem if she have plans with another person. Why should you be offended that she is not in love with you after a cup of coffee? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/1/2009 8:19:33 AM | | Simple! Because a lot of men have taught us to do this! It's expected that a woman will "date" someone for many months, and not get all attached or emotional. So we date more than one person. Keep things light. Hopefully only sleep with one person at a time, that's very important to note. Men are free to do the same thing. The majority of men do not want anything "serious". If you are looking for something serious, then it's your responsibility to communicate the terms of exclusivity to whomever you are dating. You have to communicate your expectations, (ie: only date each other) and be mature enough to get past how "hot" you think someone is if they aren't on the same page as you. Which means your choices for dates will go down to about zero on this site, but there maybe a few places in the pond where people still think this way. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/1/2009 10:47:31 AM | The same reason guys like to play.If your are really keen on someone.
Tell them if not dont play head games rather move on with their life. Folk that do it get a kick and feel good about hurting peoples feelings.Players and liars are one and the same..Learn how to tell who is telling you BS or what they know you want to hear. its called grooming some are very good at it.There are many books on this subject learn what to look for.And soon it will become part of you.Certain folk have certain habits. They also say and do certain things.Take note  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/1/2009 11:05:11 AM | I dunno, myself I cannot do this. I don't even like exchanging emails with more than 3 people!
I have noticed something though.....people that do serial/multiple date seem to have an endless supply of men/women chasing after them. Despite the fact that I read on many men's profiles that they are not interested in this type of woman, it does seem to be the type of woman they go after. Or maybe they are just so attractive that people flock to them? Everyone's eye is caught by beauty right? Let's face it, there are people who are HOT to everyone. Then there are people who are attractive to many, then some who are attractive to some, and on it goes.
That said, whenever I do seem to be getting on well with someone, suddenly more come out of the woodwork. It's akin to sensing the female is ready to mate or some nonsense LOL
There is nothing sexier than a woman giving 100% of her attention to you, putting effort to get to know you....
I can relate to this. Since I have to travel 45 minutes driving into town for a date (unless I go after work and then I have to arrange to have dinner before and have my things with me etc.) I certainly put effort, time and money (gas) into dating. To find men who do the same is very difficult. Those that do, have my respect. I remember the days when we would travel by bus and metro for 45 minutes or over the bridge and it was no problem. People have certainly become lazy. I certainly don't have the time or money to be dating multiple guys LOL!
I do think that most people should be changing their profiles to reflect that they will only date someone within a 20 minute time zone. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 12:13:33 AM |
I had a date last night we made out for a hour, now I m out with you, would you like to kiss me? <---- if that's how you guys play...cool...I don't roll like that....I am too old fashioned for "you cool hip" people....
Since making out of an hour is usual beyond the "getting to know you" level, I would assume you should be with that person and not me. Just as I would not make out or have sex with a guy I am not exclusive with. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 12:55:23 AM | RE: yarimelma: "Respect is earned. You respect me, I respect you."
Isn't that kind of an oxymoron? You want people to earn your respect but you give it to them just for respecting you? Odd.
The OP's issue and my response to it really depends on his definition of 'dating'. To me, dating is getting to know somebody and we're both aware there's the potential for a relationship. I've definitely hung out with more than one woman in a week that I was interested in, but wasn't 'dating'. There's definitely nothing wrong with somebody doing that.
However if you're going on dates with more than one person at a time, I think that's misleading and a pretty lame thing to do. But even that becomes kind of a non-issue if honesty's involved and I'm aware of it. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:08:21 AM | Aha! see now, things are changed huh.. Everybody has a different idea when it comes to "dating" or "what/how getting to know stage suppose to be"
I am certainly not one of those people ( I am the one against dating multiple people, remember) however, many of my dates seemed to be perfectly ok with kissing/making out with multiple people... So when you say you're dating others, god knows what you really mean... if that make sense.
Obvious, every person have different definition. This is why is important to communicate.
In my opinion is better to communicate then decide than use rules. But what ever work for you, is good. I do not care. I only think it is silly to assume a person is insecure when there are very pragmatic reason for not commit after one or two week. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:41:57 AM | Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Basically dating, especially internet dating is nothing more than shopping for the right fit, size, attitude, morals ethics, and so on. Plus with all these not so real "reality dating shows" a lot of people have decided to behave the same way...It all comes down to your definition of what dating is.. Some folks consider dating as nothing more than hanging out and meeting others....Some take it more seriously from beginning to start and only date a match that they have exchanged emails, cups of coffee and time with(in other words they are going steady)... It s just a matter of, is one dating just to meet new folks or is one dating someone because the have romantic interests in them... So as long as your dating style and interests have been communicated and you are on the same page then I see no wrong with this dating multiple people at once.. Just as long as you make your intentions clear and are not getting a person's hopes up only to let them down. ..the confusing part of all dating is of course...are we just hanging out, or are we wanting something more than hanging out.. The fact that there are so many dating definitions is the real issue here, not whose dating style is wrong or write.. as the saying goes..different strokes for different folks, not every dates the same way..  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:49:51 AM | What a great question, cuz it goes for both sexes & I would like the answer too!
I have wondered about this, what the rules should be & so on - a couple months into, I found MY answer. Online dating is kinda like a buffet (yum this girl is good, and then yum this is good too, lol, you have their attention while they are with you), from my experience. Two (in past two months)guys that I have met (and could have seriously fallen for - given some time) acted so 'into me' and then poof, gone... Nope I didn't have sex, no clinginess, no excessive phone calls, never talked about ex - one actually asked me to call him more... If I were to go out with a guy that I really like a couple/few times, I probably wouldn't want to keep meeting new ones (again - and nope, NOT having sex with I guy I barely know), now I'm a little scared of putting everybody else on hold while this new one looks promising... I tell everybody I date, no further explanations given - If I were asked more details, I would pass or give the same story as above - I will always be honest. If you ARE that into someone - ASK them to only see you until you can figure out where you might go... As a female, I would love to be able to do that, I just don't think it would go over good, kwim? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 11:56:24 AM | | The last time I checked, dating meant meeting and going out with various people. You date several people to see if you match up to any. It's perfectly normal. I do believe that if you decide to have sex with one or more, that you should inform the others with whom you want to be intimate that they aren't the only one, out of courtesy and safety. At some point, you may want to move to exclusive dating with one person. I see dating as being different from going steady (exclusive dating). Dating is to find someone who has potential for you getting to know better. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:57:08 PM |
Basically dating, especially internet dating is nothing more than shopping for the right fit, size, attitude, morals ethics, and so on. it's why everyone takes as many as possible at one time and then return everything which doesn't fit, back to the store (oops, pool) too many fish in the pool
I think, it's right to start dating many people and then choose one for exclusive relationship.I think, only people who have trouble to get any date would be complaining about that | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 4:33:33 PM | Until he and I talk of a relationship I will date others.
Especially if I only see him once or twice a week.
I am not into sitting around waiting for someone to make me a priority. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/2/2009 7:54:45 PM | The same reason MEN date multiple WOMEN at once - to get to know people and find the right partner - or just to take advantage of the partners available to them. Both sexes do it. Don't just judge one gender so you can feel sorry for yourself. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 10:04:10 AM | | I don't think its a gender issue. I have been guilty of wanting to date multiple men at times. It has been fun and was great when I had limited time and was focused on my children mostly. It also gave me a new chance to see what was appealing to me at this stage of my life. Now I am ready to spend my time with one man and hope to have found him! Or to find him when the time is right. Bottom line, we allow people in our lives that are either good or bad for us....its our energy and choice!!!! Be true to yourself as well as honest (ladies and men). I also believe that we should be honest with those we speak to, meet and spend time with (as I always have and will be). | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:07:56 AM | ~OT~ I'm multi-dating at the present time. Why? Because I can. I'm single, I'm not looking for anything permanent, I'm not interested in sex and so until I meet someone who I'd like to date exclusively ~ I'm doing exactly what dating is designed to do ~ socializing with the opposite sex with no strings attached, no preconceived notions of forever/permanence and no stress. JMO  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:11:30 AM | the answer is easy, they're not that interested in any of them. its just sex for the most part. i met a sexy blonde like that, she was attracted to me as well but she made it clear that she was dating several other guys.
i couldn't get upset with her because she told me the truth. she said she wasn't looking for anything serious. i just visited her and hooked up whenever my number came up so to speak. i was always nice to her, i didn't pressure her and whenever we had sex, i gave it to her good. then she eventually fell in love with me..lol | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:12:41 AM | | Both sexes are guilty of this. Hey, I tried it too. It's nonsensical. I can't keep up! And yes, you are correct when the info seems to get all mixed up. I mean you've listened to so many life stories you don't know whose is whose! The attention is cool for awhile (to have various men ask you out) but really, I need stability in my life. I only date one person at a time. Even the meet and greet thing. It's best to give the person you are with your full attention or how can you ever expect the same? It's called "consideration." I can tell on a meet -n- greet (usually) if any "cha-chings" or it is "just so blaaaaah". And I tell it like it is. I just recently learned (last year) that if the guy's heart isn't thumping hard when he's around me, then he may be gay or have some issues. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:56:50 AM | Even the meet and greet thing. It's best to give the person you are with your full attention or how can you ever expect the same?
A person I meet only one or two time should not have my"full attention" anyway. Is too clingy is he think we are exclusive after 15 minute meet.
Perhap you can make a choise about some one after a small meet but I would not reject a great guy because I have a second date plan that will probably not result in third date. | |
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VF102
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Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 999 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 12:18:31 PM | Us men do the same thing. As long as it's just dating and you are not sleeping around there should be no problem. Once you find the one that you really like then go for it and drop the others. I got dropped today by a pretty lady after two dates. So I got home and called another lady that I am dating and we plan on going out later this week. When you are a teenager and you get dropped after a few dates it's a big deal. But when you are my age it's just a matter of picking up the phone and getting another date with someone else.
Jason | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 4:28:31 PM | Hiys NativeWarrior,
I must say that I have paid for every date I've been on on this site and others. I don't let the guy pay cause guys seems to think that going girls dating several guys are just after someone to pay for dinner etc.
I'm out to meet people and have a laugh, does not mean that I am out for their money. Its guys with your view point that makes me so adament to pay for everything, and I mean everything. I do hope you find someone who will pay too, but then, when a girls pays for everything.... then its alright???? | |
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