| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:32:22 PM | People, people, people..............
the last time I checked this was a DATING site! My goodness,we are all here doing the same thing. Trying to find people you are compatible with. This means you strike up some conversation ,see what happens when you meet. Hopefully you will meet someone that you enjoy being with so much you both agree on an exclusive relationship. That should happen over a period of time and until that happens whats wrong with being social, as long as you don't mislead anyone. It's how it's done, I mean I wouldn't buy the first car i saw. I would make sure the one i picked was the right match for me. Should it be any less when seeking a partner in life? | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:53:33 PM | "Why do women date multiple guys at once?"...
- Because they can...
- Because they believe in double standards...
- Because they want to...
FTWfella | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:27:35 AM | 1. Because they like all their matches.
2. Because of the reality shows on TV that show the same behavior.
3. Because they have a difficult time saying no.
4. Because the last person they dated did the same thing to them.
5. They are not too sure of what they want in a match so going through bunches of them will help them decide.
6. Why not, at least the meal(sometimes) will be free.
7. Dating is a numbers game anyway. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/16/2009 5:23:51 AM | Quite a range of answers. Some interesting points.
Sorry, OP. But I don't think that I share your opinion.
From my POV, dating is a process. For some people it's a winnowing process. Include someone or exclude them. For whatever reasons are important to you . It's during the initial stages you are getting to know someone else, earn their trust, likes dislikes, chemistry and vice versa. So I'm afraid don't understand why a woman (or man) should feel compelled to see only one other person exclusively during those earlier stages of a relationship when you barely know anything about them. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I'm afraid that I can't see where anyone owes a moral obligation to see one person and only on person at this point.
However, if things click and evolve beyond the initial attraction and getting to know you phase and goes up a level or two then it might be time to have a chat about the possibility of exclusivity, or at least some sort of time line so that things are not left open ended and people are left wondering where they stand. If both of you agree to see each other exclusively, then great. But if one person is under the impression that they are exclusive while the other doesn't share the same viewpoint, then there are some issues that need to be addressed fairly quickly.
Regards
M | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:16:56 PM | Because some people are actually sure of what they want . It is hard to find that sometimes in todays society me for example I would lump people into 3 categories that are over 45 which is what I am looking for.
1 Someone who had a really bad divorce is totally tired of compromising what they want in life and figures they would just be better off with a little DESERT once in awhile.
2.Someone who knows that they are tired of playing games and wants to find someone they can actually get along with for the rest of their life . (this is what I am looking for)
3. Someone who does not really know what they want and figures they will know it when they see it. Well unfortunately 2 + 3don't always =5
I am looking for someone who will be my best buddy for my elder years this takes some sifting and eventhough I am not looking to go out with more than one and would like to have just one I am looking for something specific. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/9/2009 9:45:48 PM | | Why put up with it? The only women I date are ones that are in tune with me. I've been known to drop a woman if I find out that she thinks she can have me on her rotation. I make it real clear to women that don't do women who treat men's**** like toys. I find it offensive that a female would refer to one man as her "blackie" or use another for his ****-eating skills. Bottom line, I may gentlemanly but I'm a dominant male. I don't shit from women. You shouldn't either. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:25:17 PM | this sums it up.
when i was younger i would wait by that phone waiting for him to call me and let me know when we are going to hang out again.
now with work, hobbies and keeping my options open.... i can chill out and not worry so much about him and just enjoy the process.
i would think men would appreciate this.... | |
|
| |
Twooit
|
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 1012 | |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:16:53 AM | | I understand the reasoning behind women dating multiple men- but I find it extremely insulting. I view it as the woman doesn't think I'm the best fit for her and she wants to see other men while seeing me to pick the best of the "litter". I'm a one woman man, I'll only talk to and see one woman at a time. If someone doesn't shame my same belief structure on the topic then they're not worth my time. I don't want to date someone who was out with someone the night before telling him the same things she's telling me. No thanks. As soon as I find out someone is seeing other men while talking to me they get deleted from my phone and never contacted again. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:07:40 AM | Let's say you have to date about 50 people to find your ideal mutual match. If it takes a month of dating for each person to even decide if they're worth continuing to see, then that would take about 4 years (and much longer if you drop all other prospects each time you decide to meet someone new). Of course, some will only require one meeting to rule out, and some will take several months. Maybe you'll get lucky and find your match very early on. Well, that could happen, or you could find out that you're wrong months later because you didn't date enough people to really know how to evaluate how appropriate any one is for you.
Now, if you overlap dating with more than one person, your time frame for finding someone ideal may just shorten greatly, and even if it does not shorten, you greatly increase your chances because you spend more time with more people.
It rarely took more than a few dates to decide if someone was worth pursuing more seriously, at which time I'd be exclusive with them if that was their wish as well. Dating multiple people (and it doesn't always happen because there aren't always multiple acceptable prospects) is simply more effective and efficient - it works, and helps you to make the right choice.
If your style or preference is different, no problem - do what you feel is right for you, and I'll do what's right for me. My approach worked (for me), and I found an incredible, ideal match. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:19:18 AM | | Everybody has their dating style... What it comes down to is if this dating multiple people is platonic dating or if they are hooking up with with all their dates...Most folks who hook up are in exclusive relationships.. so if she is dating more than one person, nothing is stopping you from dating more than one person...If someone gets jealous of you dating in their on style I would not continue dating them. So if she is dating more than one person you should also.. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:43:42 AM | In case one doesn't work out, they have something to fall back upon. ......or perhaps waiting for one to outshine the others?
Exactly.
My agenda is to find the person best suited to me, and who has the most to bring to a relationship, and so should theirs. Duhh..
What difference does it make how many people they're meeting? Unless, of course, you're paranoid.....
Or afraid of the competition....
Do you think their concern is "your" dating comfort level?...
It's not about competition, it's about compatibility.
Get over it... | |
|
Twooit
|
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 1016 | |
| |
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:18:05 PM | | I agree with Strawberry_jam. Initial dating, getting to know you period, is non-exclusive. Exclusivity must be discussed, and must be mutual. It also shouldn't be an issue until you know each other well. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:53:14 AM | | I don't but I do have alot of male friends that I sing with and maybe go to lunch with and my significant other has met all of them. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:58:32 AM | i wont date more than one guy at a time if im really interested in him. its hard enough to keep up with every one let alone date them lol. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:00:35 AM | | For me, I'm not officially dating someone until I've went out with them several times. The first few dates you are really trying to see if that person is what you are looking for. I would expect the man to do the same. If I find someone very interesting and we go out for a little while and the discussion for exclusiveness occurs then that is something different. I believe people put all their eggs in one basket too soon. | |
|
| |
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:39:26 AM | WOW, a lot of negative and jealous comments from guys here on this topic. Let me see if I can’t put an end to some of this. There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person or in fact sleeping with more than one person, it’s a personal choice on how you want to lead your life. If you know that someone you are seeing is doing this, you can either choose to accept it and keep seeing them or choose to not accept it and stop seeing them.
Now if you are in an exclusive relationship with someone and they are doing this it’s an issue … unless you agree that it isn’t.
Now as far as dating goes women really have more options with men because men hit on women more then women hit on men so just by having boobs they are going to be asked out more. Now perhaps she is picky or perhaps she is looking for the ideal man but if she wants to date or sleep around it’s her business, she’s either right for you that way or she isn’t, only you can say what you’re comfortable with.
You’re not going to join this site, message the first person you see, have a date, fall in love and get married. You’re going to message dozens and dozens and dozens of people and have lots and lots of first dates and phone calls. Women are going to have even more. You will eventually find a person and have a third, fourth or even fifth data and that is when you’ll need to talk about being exclusive. I’ve met women that I didn’t want to marry but dated them for a while because we had fun and women have done the same with me. I’ve also had them tell me that they want to get serious with another guy that they’re seeing and that is fine too.
Here is what I expect, and here is what you should expect as well. Just date the way you want to date and don’t worry about how other people do it. If you’re dating someone and you want to be exclusive and they don’t odds are it isn’t a match or the other person needs more time to figure it out, you can either like it and keep seeing them or lump it and stop seeing them.
The only thing I don’t like about women (and men) seeing multiple people is that (and I think this happens more with women) they get caught up playing the numbers game and can’t focus on a date or individual enough to really know if it is a good match. I’d be willing to bet that a lot of women have let the right guy slip through their fingers just so they could have dates with five wrong guys to find out if they are more right than the right guy. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:57:54 PM | | I agree whole heartedly with Jason! Its not about hooking up and hanging out....its about hanging out till you find the one you want to hook up with. Like my aunt once told me....You can't help who you fall in love with, but you can help who your with when you fall in love. | |
|
| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:03:08 AM | | I never date more than one person at a time. I cant do it. Im fairly picky with who like so if I like someone they usually have my attention. Besides, I have a life beyond that and I dont have the time or the ambition to date more than one person. | |
|
Home
login 
