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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:02:39 PM | So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time?
whtaguy, go back to the ante-diluvian rock whence you crawled out. I hate you. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:37:59 PM | | Maybe the women dont see it as dating all of them....One or two dates with a guy and some chatting does not constitute dating in my book, therefore not attached and not cheating...Express emotions or sleep together and it is a different story... | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:06:51 PM | | Oh yes.. Believe me, we dont want too. Unfortunately, men I have experienced only want to call once or twice a week and talk for a few minutes and date only a few hours on the weekend instead of making time to further the relationships. Then they disappear for a few weeks and call back for another date later. They are not completely out the picture nor want to be. Unfortunately, women dont want to wait around.. This isnt really satisfying to a woman- (I dont mean sexually). So other men call on those off days and eventually date them until hopefully one guy will say I want to see you exclusively and call everyday and want to make more time for the girl. We all wish for....Just one local guy.. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:27:15 PM | Theres a name for women like that
Yeah there are. Like "smart cookies" . Why on earth after going on one 2 hour date with someone ,would i want to start date a stranger exclusively?Even after a few two hour dates ,why would i date them exclusively. At that point i almost don't know this person. I may know a few more fact about them. I may know if i think they are fun and a generally happy person . I may even know if i am really attracted to them , but i don't know them well enough to date them exclusively.
Another poster said something about a date being a date and having sex is having sex . They don't really have anything to do with each other. I have to say i agree with her. Dating has nothing at all to do with having sex for me. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:41:09 PM |
not knowing what true love means or how to apply this in their lives. Thus every one who runs around keeps on running.
Sorry but i am not really sure what true love has to do with a few dates?True love takes time to occur. A few dates is simply not enough time ,not even close.For up to 3 and 4 dates people can keep up a facade of who they want you to believe they are without blowing it. It gets harder the more time you spend with someone.
Just having started dating again recently ,but keeping a keen eye on the dating world i don't believe in dating someone exclusively unless you really know them, the real them not something they may be trying to make you believe they are. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:48:11 PM | That is a silly question.They are preparing for the future. BTW that is called Parallel dating. They want to see how well they can manage more then one man. It is kind of a rehearsal, before marriage. There is the husband, and the gardener, the mailman, the poolboy, cable guy, co-workers, etc. As you can see, it can be some serious multitasking, to keep all the lies straight, and the guys in the closet. Practice makes it perfect. There could be an other reason, they want to make up for lost time and experience. If you can do something in one year,why would you want to stretch it to five?
Let's face it, the premise of DATING is romance, otherwise it would be called FRIENDSHIP. If you want to test this theory, tell the guy that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN on the first date. Let's see if there is going to be a second. I don't buy the just date a few guys, meaning: nothing romantic. If that is the case she just likes free stuff.AND there is a FWB on speed-dial. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:17:15 AM | | Friend of mine told me she knows a few women at her work place (at the resorts) that do the onlien dating thing frequently...and quite possibly only use dates to get free breakfasts, l unches and dinners.....and not really seeking "love"....just a free meal ticket. | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:22:29 AM | | Well i have always and will always pay my own way on dates so that's definitely not me.It saves a lot of trouble and i wish more women did it. No one expects anything except to share a meal and maybe a movie. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:30:50 AM | Gee and here I am wondering why it is that most men are continuously seeking to date more than one woman at once? Why not get to know someone on a real level that requires more than one date to do!?
I feel the same frustrations. Believe ME! I'm just tired of all the players and just when you think you meet a decent one he continues to seek others online.
I have had a relationship with one that I met online years ago. It didn't work out but despite a painful breakup a few years back we are good friends today. I think relationships have to have the chance to get to spend time with and get to know someone and that if the scheduling is tough do to "life" well then you find ways to connect, phone calls, messages, text, email, it's what life is about, circumventing challenges and making it through the tough times and challenges!
The others are just so superficial. IF I meet someone, and things click, yeah, I'd like to see where it goes but guys treat that as alien. Go figure. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:53:11 AM | IMO the best way for a man and a woman to find out if they are really compatible, is via a) interesting philosophical face to face - intimate discussions about everything under the sun b) touchy-feely stuff (necking). Going out to a movie or dinner etc is NOT IMO a real or effective way to get to know someome, at best it is a superficial way (and I can thus see how they may be datinga guy for months and still really know little about him.
Thus I would not date women who parallel date, either because they are not serious in getting to know someone via what they describe as "dating" or because they are serious about getting to know many people at the same time (the way I described above)! | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:03:30 AM | Same reason men do and the same reason people buy more than one lottery ticket.
If they can't remember details about you, either you're not impressing them OR...you're fishing in the shallow end. The truth lies somewhere in between.
Just accept them for who they are and things will take care of themselves.
I've learned over the years, things happen in their own time and the moment we try to force an issue, thats when things get messed up.
On a psychological note; do yourself a favor. ....stop trying to understand women. The sooner men follow that advice, the sooner they can just get back to enjoying their lives. Just smile and be amused at the fact that women are nothing more than a mass of conflicting impulses....men....well we're just masses.  | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:16:33 AM | I am not talking about dating someone for months ,maybe at the outside 5 dates to see if this is someone i want to date exclusively. And yes long discussions would be a major part of those dates . How else do you get to know someone.
This is not about playing or lying to someone. I don 't pretend or lie to one person that they are the only person i am dating . If someone ask me at the end of a date if i am busy on a certain date ,and i am, then i tell them that. I choose to try to live my life as honestly as possible.
Why would someone i have been on a few dates with assume i am their girlfriend anyway? You really should talk about that stuff first. If others choose to assume that the other person thinks the same as they do ,then that's up to them . Assuming things is never a good idea however.
A few dates does not make a relationship. Anyway i believe what i believe and others believe differently then me and that's ok. Why would we want to live in a world where everyone thinks the same as we do? | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:27:48 AM | A few dates does not make a relationship
Depends on what's going on in the relationship....I think if yo9u've gotten physical...like got into the kissing and holding hand stage...I would constitute that as a relationship.
But it is good to talk about it also.
I know of quite a few women that only dat one guy at a time
1. Because THEY think i'ts immoral if you dont ( I htink otherwise)
2. They don't like to juggle | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:30:19 AM |
So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time? It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it...
Most women DON'T date more than one guy...for a variety of reasons.
Most that do will let you know that upfront....which I appreciate.
Personally...if it gets intimate between us..I prefer that we date one another exclusively.
If she's not down w/ that...I usually move on...
Too many hassles.... | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:43:45 AM | Not alllll women do...just as not allllllllll men do either. I think when you want a relationship with someone, the cards need to be on the table on both sides..dont' u? There have to be certain boundaries, agreements...to always be honest, forthright. Some can't do that. Some try and slip up..and it can be forgiven maybe? But I don't tolerate much when someone promises me something and does another thing. I was told..."Oh..but we made that pact a while ago!" See his way out? I mean to him...maybe the next day, we should repeat the promise or sign papers? LUDICROUS! lol
I'm like YOU...I can't be honest with myself or others if I'm dating or seeing someone else. I met someone who wanted to date me...asked me to agree not to date anyone else. Then I found he HAD been dating others, then later had someone living with him! That really breeches trust!
If there are trust issues...forget even a good friendship then right? My 19 yr old son, a sophmore in college, told me the same about his gf. of 2 yrs. He would never cheat on her he told me; but she gives the impression she is honest, then he caught her in lying about seeing someone, and then saw with his own eyes her with him! He broke up with her and is seeing someone new. Now she is upset, hurt, and even her Mother called to talk with my son openly. My son told her Mom, that his gf...her daughter had lied to him. Hes very open like I am though, direct, upfront. Her Mother feels badly and doesn't want them apart. HE told her she is unsure of what she wants, and needs time to decide things for her own life...then maybe. I think thats wise! (Just sharing examples here to help you see its not women, vs. men!) I say its about HONESTY! Those with class, integrity and nothing to hide, are honest. Nobody is perfect...but HONESTY, TRUST is the foundation for any friendship, relationship or marriage.
So it happens between 2, its not just women or all men...it depends on WHO you're dating. If they aren't honest in little things, wait and see, they aren't in big things either!  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:50:09 AM | Ur awesome, baby! U nailed it right on the head with that breakdown. Hey guys, listen to this one. U all have been doing it all along! It sucks when the shoes on the other foot, huh?  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:51:22 AM |
Not alllll women do...just as not allllllllll men do either. I think when you want a relationship with someone, the cards need to be on the table on both sides..dont' u? There have to be certain boundaries, agreements...to always be honest, forthright. Some can't do that. Some try and slip up..and it can be forgiven maybe? But I don't tolerate much when someone promises me something and does another thing. I was told..."Oh..but we made that pact a while ago!" See his way out? I mean to him...maybe the next day, we should repeat the promise or sign papers? LUDICROUS! lol
I'm like YOU...I can't be honest with myself or others if I'm dating or seeing someone else. I met someone who wanted to date me...asked me to agree not to date anyone else. Then I found he HAD been dating others, then later had someone living with him! That really breeches trust!
If there are trust issues...forget even a good friendship then right? My 19 yr old son, a sophmore in college, told me the same about his gf. of 2 yrs. He would never cheat on her he told me; but she gives the impression she is honest, then he caught her in lying about seeing someone, and then saw with his own eyes her with him! He broke up with her and is seeing someone new. Now she is upset, hurt, and even her Mother called to talk with my son openly. My son told her Mom, that his gf...her daughter had lied to him. Hes very open like I am though, direct, upfront. Her Mother feels badly and doesn't want them apart. HE told her she is unsure of what she wants, and needs time to decide things for her own life...then maybe. I think thats wise! (Just sharing examples here to help you see its not women, vs. men!) I say its about HONESTY! Those with class, integrity and nothing to hide, are honest. Nobody is perfect...but HONESTY, TRUST is the foundation for any friendship, relationship or marriage.
So it happens between 2, its not just women or all men...it depends on WHO you're dating. If they aren't honest in little things, wait and see, they aren't in big things either!
WTF??
She had her "Mommy" call him???
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:55:10 AM | Depends on how you define 'dating'.
Nothing wrong with 'meeting' multiple people in the same week if you're just 'meeting' them with a view to finding someone suitable IMO - but if their version of 'meeting' is to sleep with and acquire resources from multiple men then I'm out of there.
I had a lady on here cancel a 'meeting' date because I told her I was also meeting with someone else that week and she couldn't handle it.
You have to cast your net far and wide to even get a chance of meeting someone suited and 'suited' is not really in our control. You're wasting time with any other strategy, really, because the rest of life gets in the way. I go through dating phases for a few weeks a year as I'm too busy otherwise so I go for multiple meeting dating - no sleeping around etc. | |
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| [Why do women date mutiple guys at once?]
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:07:09 AM | | Spider Lady a say you not date, you are taking hostages. Just because you bought a dinner does n ot mean you own the lady. Sound like these are smart ladies that keep their options open. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:16:12 AM |
If you want to test this theory, tell the guy that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN on the first date. Let's see if there is going to be a second. I don't buy the just date a few guys, meaning: nothing romantic. If that is the case she just likes free stuff.AND there is a FWB on speed-dial.
Define romantic. Define free stuff. Taking a walk on the beach is free. Talking and people-watching is free. And can be romantic. Is that a problem? Or you call jumping in bed "romantic"? I *personally* either have friends, OR SO, and I don't mix and confuse the two. When I have SO, I will go on dates only with him, spend time only with him.
However, I find it ironic how many posers above almost call women names and say it's bad tone to date more than one person at the same time. Really. Maybe they are the same people who jump into instant relationships (or in bed!!) with people they just met and barely know, and thus expect the same from others. Sorry I cannot tell whether I want to progress with a person to something more regular, serious and exclusive or physical in one or 2 dates (of course if it's a definite "no" I know right away, no more dates needed).
As someone above wrote, men (I am saying men - I don't date women) disappear after one date.. then reappear weeks later and ask out again.. then disappear.. on and on. I may like the person and think he likes me as well...But...Given that behavior....Do you really think I will sit at home waiting for my phone to ring? I can be waiting for weeks.. or forever.
Do I want to parallel date? Would not be my 1st choice. But I didn't make the "rules" around here, and I cannot change the way people are. "We didn't start the fire.." Guys started this eons ago, I am just adopting their ways and adapting to the realities of "one-date-wonders", " I will call you tomorrow's", " I like you .. but I am not sure what I want" scenarios. When someone shows their true interest and intentions by their actions and behavior, and if it's mutual. then I will date only that person...and possibly it will become a relationship
Happy
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:22:05 AM | Htheather hit the nail on the head when she said, "Oh yes.. Believe me, we dont want too. Unfortunately, men I have experienced only want to call once or twice a week and talk for a few minutes and date only a few hours on the weekend instead of making time to further the relationships. Then they disappear for a few weeks and call back for another date later. They are not completely out the picture nor want to be. Unfortunately, women dont want to wait around.. This isnt really satisfying to a woman- (I dont mean sexually). So other men call on those off days and eventually date them until hopefully one guy will say I want to see you exclusively and call everyday and want to make more time for the girl. We all wish for....Just one local guy.."
She is absolutely right. I totally second that emotion. We do it because we have to. I don't think many of us sleep with more than one person at a time, though. At least I don't.
Edit: Let me modify my last statement: At least I don't, YET. I'm not getting any younger, I've noticed. | |
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