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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 6:46:07 AM | First off, who cares?? If you don't like people that are dating more then just you, don't date them. The girl I am now 'exclusive' with was dating 2 other guys when we started and I was dating another girl. When the dust settled, we found it was just the two of us. For one reason or another the others didn't work out. I would have missed out on her if I kept going with the other girl. The buffet comment on the first page is how I see it. Try a little here and there..then go back for the one you liked the most. I wish though we all could use the same language. What is dating someone, when are you boyfriend/girlfriend...what are the requirements and rules? I think that is were most of these misunderstanding start.
Oh an annikagirl...do't take this wrong...but are you real??? Stunningly beautiful, no sex to marriage, pays for things, seems pretty damn smart and informed. And your on an online dating site? What gives?? | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 6:50:32 AM | OP you said, [PS. "TO KNOW" a person, what more enlightening than good philosophical discussions re everything under the sun???????? What some fellow posters describe as a date to me sounds more like "socialising". And of course one can multi socialise. Maybe a 1950s model of "dating"!]
Quite frankly, I have my most "philosophical discussions" at church in my Sunday school class and No!, neither sex nor my bed are subjects in the discussion. But if you are referring to discussions that take place in bed ( "pillow talk") I agree with you that those "discussions" should be only taking place with one person at a time. I believe that using your definition men are more likely to "date" multiple people at once than women are. Certainly there are alot of women who DO have sexually charged discussions or even sexual relations with multiple men at the same time but still fewer than men. Most women multi socialize. I prefer to have some philosophical discussions with a guy BEFORE we hit the bed myself. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 6:55:01 AM |
OP you said, [PS. "TO KNOW" a person, what more enlightening than good philosophical discussions re everything under the sun???????? What some fellow posters describe as a date to me sounds more like "socialising". And of course one can multi socialise. Maybe a 1950s model of "dating"!]
Quite frankly, I have my most "philosophical discussions" at church in my Sunday school class and No!, neither sex nor my bed are subjects in the discussion. But if you are referring to discussions that take place in bed ( "pillow talk") I agree with you that those "discussions" should be only taking place with one person at a time. I believe that using your definition men are more likely to "date" multiple people at once than women are. Certainly there are alot of women who DO have sexually charged discussions or even sexual relations with multiple men at the same time but still fewer than men. Most women multi socialize. I prefer to have some philosophical discussions with a guy BEFORE we hit the bed myself.
And here I was thinking that "pillow talk" was stuff I told her in bed that I hoped she forgot later... Guess you never know....
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 7:00:21 AM | are you kidding?? I have just OPPOSISTE going on! Met a guy almost two years ago... flirts with me, very helpful in a boyfriend kind of way (used to be on this website if I'm not mistaken), but I'm not alone by a long shot, despite his occasional comments such as "I show you how I feel every day [via his helpfulness]). Wont' admit to just being a friend .. oh no! he wants the emotional part of the relationship in a big way-- but to flow in only one direction -- me becoming emotionally involved in him and admitting to it, but NOT the opposite. No, instead, he also wants to carry on shallow, superficial, but nonetheless emotionally involved relationships (excuse me -- "friendships") with (are ya ready??) Becky, Lee, Theresa, Jeannie, Susie, Audrey, ... need I go on? And those are the ones I KNOW about! When I say, "okay, Jon, then we're just friends, right? Well, friends don't flirt with several other women at one time, in front of their current female friend who is standing right next to them... friends don't keep secrets about other women from their alleged current female friend (again me!). Friends REALLY help friends, are honest and open about the nature of the relationship, instead of engaging in manipulative controlling, deceptive and secretive behaviors! His name is Jonathan and he hails from Scranton. Beware ladies ... he is an emotional predator!
So, that's MY experience. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 7:04:00 AM | ^^^^^^
This is sad. If you're unhappy...why don't you just deal with it? Why did you have put somebody's name online? Maybe you should look little closer to home as to why your relationship didn't work out.
This is why guys just stop calling rather than sit down and break up w/ women. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 7:09:10 AM | Amen , to the woman who said 1,2,3 dates does not a marrige make.That crack me up.Cause Ive done the same where I tell these women that I love them oh sooooooooooo much.Its good to be able to hear how other people feel about certain situations.Happy New Year and God bless. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 8:51:31 AM | Re post 157
I am not writing between the lines thus .... When I write philosophical discussions about everything under the sun, I mean that, not chit-chat, or "discussions". or existential philosophy of the religious type. That type of philoosphy was always best done in an inclined position, not even a couch. Thus a bed is the best place for them (and not only for sleep and sex). And they last for many hours, even a whole day and night or weekend (along with necking and possibly sex). A lost art maybe!!!!
As per necking, at home and in bed, is far better and safer than a car, an ally or deserted beaches, etc etc etc etc.
That is what I call serious dating, instead of casual or social or parallel. To each their own.
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 9:01:26 AM | Catchinnj i am very real. Like i said in my profile i may of been blessed in some ways ,but trust me in other ways i have been handed the shitty short end of the stick.Life is far from perfect .
We all have issues and problems and we all have graces too. I have noticed from your postings that you have quite a way with words and are intelligent. This is a wounderful gift to of been given.
When I write philosophical discussions about everything under the sun, I mean that, not chit-chat, or "discussions". or existential philosophy of the religious type.
Nick i may not of been graced with brains like yours ,but i do realize what you meant.
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 9:36:50 AM |
We live in a materialistic society where one throws away every thing for a bigger better deal. solitcous 1 You are quite right and I think we all at certain degree's, guilt of that. It's call consumerism and being brainwashed with it every day. yikes! Is the grass really greener on the other side?
And if and when somebody really knows shes the one, presto.
and hopefully she knows that too!  | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 11:11:25 AM | | well...annikagirl...thank you. I am a little sarcastic at time and that is missed on a few people here. I meant no disrespect , each of us are on here for there own reasons. But from past experiences I have learned that sometimes things are really to good to be true. I was too quick to answer you, I read your profile AFTER I posted..my bad! On a side note, so many people on here complain about not getting mail...love to hear about people swamped by emails and how the view all the attention. I fell in the middle, until I took myself off being able to be searched. Sorry to waste space on a differnet matter then the topic at hand...I'd just be repeating myself if I made any further comments on that subject. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 2:05:02 PM | | Speaking as one who has done this, I don't see the issue. I personally like to have options. When you meet someone for the first time, there is so much pressure to make that first impression. I will give someone a chance and go out with them a few times. Although there are first and last dates too. So, don't criticize us for doing something you guys have been doing for years. When the shoe is on the other foot, it doesn't feel so good does it? | |
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Nona37
| Joined: 12/4/2007 Msg: 164 | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 2:51:17 PM | Some PEOPLE go on multiple dates at once because they wanna keep their options open. They like whom they are dating but not enough to make a decision. Some do it because they wanna live in the illusion of being "popular" or boost a low self esteem hiding somewhere. Some do it because they don't want "the risk" of being close to anyone in particular. Some do it because they're bored and wanna pass some time on other people's expense. And some do it because their date does not look decided either. | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 2:58:47 PM | I had a lunch date today with someone i met from another pay dating site i am on. He was cute and funny and i had a nice time. I also have a lunch date lined up for Monday. Should i cancel my Monday date because i had a nice time with my Saturday date? Don't be ridiculous!
I know that i think Saturdays date was as i said cute ,funny and i am attracted to him ,but i don't know him well enough to say to him "now that we have gone on a date we should start dating exclusively"
It's not about wanting to be popular ,it's about dating someone until you know them well enough that you can both decide to be exclusive.For me this would be in between 3 and 5 dates . | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 8:05:13 PM | ^^^^^^^ (Because I smoke was just as funny....LMAO)
So why do women date multiple men at once? Why can't you date one guy at a time? It's so frustrating when they don't know the correct information about you... I don't get it...
~OT~ I don't multi-date or frenzy-date anymore, but I sure miss the days when I did. I used to make it clear: I'm dating, not looking for anything physical or long-term. If that wasn't OK, they were free to motivate elsewhere. I didn't usually get the "turn and run" in return for that honesty, most of the time I'd date someone several times or even one for a long time under the condition, we were both free to see others. I didn't want anything long term, love, permanence, etc. Now I'm older, I can't even fathom dating one man ~ two or more ~ I don't have the patience or the interest. But should I reach that point, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Socializing with the opposite sex doesn't mean long-term to me, those are few and far between and are exceptionally difficult to find. The older I get, the less likely it is I'll ever "settle down." Geez, I guess what I do without dating is being "settled".....LOL I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person if you are honest about it. That's how you discover who you might wish to be with on a more one-on-one basis in my mind. But then again, I don't date ~ so what do I know???  | |
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| Why do women date multiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 8:35:17 PM |
I had a lunch date today with someone i met from another pay dating site i am on. He was cute and funny and i had a nice time. I also have a lunch date lined up for Monday. Should i cancel my Monday date because i had a nice time with my Saturday date? Don't be ridiculous!
Thats great that that works for you.. I just can't seem to grasp the concept myself. When I go on a date, it is with the intentions to get to know more about someone I am interested in. If I get to the point that I am that interested, I do not date anyone else!
I feel I am worth someones full undivided attention. A fair shake in my book. Mainly because thats exactly what I give. I do not see what I am be losing out on by taking myself off the market for 3 to 5 dates.. "but thats what works for me"
~Belly~ | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/29/2007 8:40:22 PM | You said it well grannieannie. I have been dating someone for close to 3 months. We were getting quite close. I do believe he cares for me. For a while, I stayed off of here out of respect for him. One weekend he put me on back burner-PSSTTT. I started watching his behavior. He did it again the next weekend. He cannot understand why we are not as close as the first few months. I tried to talk with him about this, he said he would try-it lasted one weekend- He and I are both very busy people but I make time for him. I became less of a priority for him-For my own protection, I feel that I must date others. Don't think me a player -A girl of my caliber cannot be taken for granted and not appreciated. When/if he is willing to put in a sincere effort to build on our feelings-and they are mutual-then, I will no longer be a "serial dater" It is not attention i desire but him and what he has to offer. I don't want to date anyone else-he leaves me no choice. Seeking love, companionship and yes-sex is as natural as eating. If you are being slowly starved ???-must have nourishment!!!! Guys-if u want a good woman to be real with you-nourish her, cherish her: body and soul! Your efforts will bring you MUCH joy and pleasure in the long run. | |
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| Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/30/2007 7:11:25 AM | | It's been said many times" you reap what you sow". Men done this for eons, having women sit around and wait for the phone to ring .. that he'll *maybe* make time for her. So why do some men get upset if women do the same thing - no more. in fact, we probably do less - I do think most women that have dates with more than one person, don't sleep with them. many guys do and treat it as normal. and yet guys get indignant if we go out with more than one person? | |
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