| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 12:19:00 PM | rub fairy liquid into the stain then scrub briskly with a moistened badger
[edit to add: this comes across as pretty random as first post on a new page of the thread... damn that page-break] | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 1:18:05 PM |
so,presumably if a message gets through your deffences do you reply "ok,lets meet"?
without any getting to know at all?
Absolutely - provided the message comes from someone suitable of course.
More than that, I will suggest the first meet myself.
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 1:26:12 PM |
Now, how far would be too far for you to contemplate a relationship? On practical terms I mean - getting to meet, visit each other etc etc
if it is meant to be then so be it......
my fiance lives 8 hours away from me... he comes down every other weekend.... this christmas he only had christmas day and boxing day off.... he worked all day christmas eve.... travelled straight from work to be with us for christmas... he left at 5.30pm boxing day and miss him like fook...
.... next month he will be here for good.... distance should never be a problem if it is true love.... My fiance has proved that... occasionally just for the day.... but that proved to me the distance was worth the love... never put a distance on love.... If I did,I would not have my future husband....
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 1:40:10 PM | It helps if your geography/ map reading is good LOL
An hour's journey (thereabouts) looks very reasonable : if it works out,move in with them  | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 2:38:25 PM | [distance should never be a problem if it is true love.... My fiance has proved that... occasionally just for the day.... but that proved to me the distance was worth the love... never put a distance on love.... If I did,I would not have my future husband....]
Hey Congratulations, so cool to read that it worked out so well for you!  
While I was growing up my parents sent about six months of the year living and working on different continents to make a better life for my brothers and I.. They were happily married for about 35 years.. My dad died 15 years ago and my mom never remaried.. Truly Love knows no bounds and trancends all borders!!
thanks for your heart-warming story... May 2008 be filled with all the charm, and magic of a fairy tale!!
Cheers,
Michael | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 2:42:00 PM |
my fiance lives 8 hours away from me... he comes down every other weekend.... this christmas he only had christmas day and boxing day off.... he worked all day christmas eve.... travelled straight from work to be with us for christmas... he left at 5.30pm boxing day and miss him like fook...
May i ask if you went up to see him on the other weekends?
A lot of people dont mind long term relationships as long as someone else is doing all the work.
For me as well, i dont let anyone i am dating meet my child so if someone was miles and miles away they would have to be willing to accept that if my childs plans changed and he was at home with me instead of being with his dad one weekend then he couldnt come down that weekend.
I'll stick to someone (ooerrr not literally) local i think. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 2:44:00 PM |
I'll stick to someone
Bunnyboiler on the loooooooooooooooooooooooooose 
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 2:54:27 PM |
For me as well, i dont let anyone i am dating meet my child so if someone was miles and miles away they would have to be willing to accept that if my childs plans changed and he was at home with me instead of being with his dad one weekend then he couldnt come down that weekend first... I don't have that problem... her father has nothing to do with her..... secondly.... no never travelled to him... I have two children... he has none.... he has proved he is more than willing to be the perfect family man.... THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS... your son is lucky.... he has a dad although not in his life full time is there..... my children don't... my son's father is dead... my daughters father is a male slag who has no responsibility..... she was 6 in december.... he lives 1 mile away.... not even a card from him... she has not seen him since last may when he got married for the 3rd time and had another son... his now 6th child.... he has no family responsility about him.... may I ask..... you say you NEVER let anyone your dating meet your child... cool.... so when do you let them meet them? when you marry?surely one day he has to if you want to make it serious????? so when does that happen???? ten years later????? my future husband does.... that is al that mattersxxxxxxxxxx | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:14:46 PM | I second the queston to Foxy - how the hell can that ever hope to work? Or do you have a definition thing where you go from 'dating' to 'committed' and then let them meet the kid?
I ask as surely the child's reaction to the man in your life has to be an issue, and you're leaving it very late to find that out.... | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:22:46 PM | may I ask..... you say you NEVER let anyone your dating meet your child... cool.... so when do you let them meet them? when you marry?surely one day he has to if you want to make it serious????? so when does that happen???? ten years later?????
Not until i KNOW it is the real thing.
Not on the first date, second or third that is for sure.
Anyway, i date for ME, not for anything else, not for the man to meet my child. One day when i know for certain that the one has arrived, then he can meet my child.
Ive said this many times, i dont agree with children meeting countless men that their mothers date (to me, any m0re than 2 in a year is countless), my love life and family life are very different are kept away from each other.
I ask as surely the child's reaction to the man in your life has to be an issue, and you're leaving it very late to find that out....
Not really, a few months is a short time to wait. I dont want my child messed up with men coming in and out of the house if the relationships dont work. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:29:08 PM |
Ive said this many times, i dont agree with children meeting countless men that their mothers date (to me, any m0re than 2 in a year is countless), my love life and family life are very different are kept away from each other.
that is where we are so different.... I need my children's approval of my man.... if they don't get on with him then he has no chance..... the first time my fiance met my children ... it was love at first sight.... he proved it.... that is the connection I needed... I am not important... WE are..... so I need to know if the man can be part of my family.... he has proved he can.... that is why I know it is love....... I don't need to wait years to prove if my man gets on with my children...why waste months of getting to know someone if they are not into kids? if you feel you connect... let them meet the kids.... if it don't work.. they are not the one... SIMPLE. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:32:21 PM |
that is where we are so different.... I need my children's approval of my man.... if they don't get on with him then he has no chance..... the first time my fiance met my children ... it was love at first sight.... he proved it.... that is the connection I needed... I am not important... WE are..... so I need to know if the man can be part of my family.... he has proved he can.... that is why I know it is love....... I don't need to wait years to prove if my man gets on with my children...why waste months of getting to know someone if they are not into kids? if you feel you connect... let them meet the kids.... if it don't work.. they are not the one... SIMPLE.
Clearly we do differ.
I wait until I KNOW he is a decent man, i get to know them before i even contemplate letting them meet my child. He is the most important thing in my life end of. That doesnt mean i have to let him meet every bloke that takes me out on a date. I dont view every date as a potential relationship, i see it as a night out with someone and if we get on then thats good, if we dont then we dont see each other again.
I dont hide the fact i have a child from anyone but i dont want my son meeting every date i have! | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:37:00 PM | Personally i only meet my potential date and their children at the swimming pool. That way there are no secrets
I do make sure protection would be used though and will insist that everyone will wear bathing caps. Plus an inspection of the feet is a must. A dirty family is a verucca family and have no place in my life. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:40:46 PM |
I dont view every date as a potential relationship
Neither do I.
The first is just a meet, after that - they may be a date and only then I view it as a potential relationship meaning will drag the guy through some woods in the rain to see his reaction to mud on his shoes and also check his ability to light a fire in the rain, open a tin without a can opener, break a fight between 2 bullterriers etc etc.
I am looking for a real Tarzan... | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 4:18:41 PM | but didn't Tarzan have blue eyes and blonde hair ?
I think 6,000 miles away is too far. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 4:21:11 PM | but didn't Tarzan have blue eyes and blonde hair
Damn.....
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 4:25:56 PM | | For me ....10 miles.....long distant relationships dont work! | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:55:48 PM | There is no limit on how far I will go. My last two relationships were with men from the UK (I'm in Los Angeles).
Even though those didn't work out I know several people who have had long distance relationships work. I'm willing to move anywhere (as long as my two dogs are welcome as well).
Love has no boundaries and I have a valid passport.  | |
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Nergal
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Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:39:24 PM | It depends on the feelings .... I've had relationships all over the country, used to drive about 250 miles to see an ex.
Beats chest swings off through trees while lighting a cig ... its Manchester, we live in caves and its always raining. And I've had to break up fights between 2 German Shepherds before now. Sorry blue eyes dark brown hair ...
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/26/2007 11:49:15 PM | I've done long distance as in across the Atlantic ocean and wouldn't do it again.
I'd prefer to meet someone who lives within an hours drive.
I'm with Foxy on this, my kids don't meet my men, they are kept completely seperate so not so easy to be spontaneous. And easier for me to do the travelling than him and I'm not willing to travel more than an hour or maybe an hour and 10 minutes if the traffic is bad!
I don't need my kids approval, if I'm happy then so are they. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:00:13 AM |
I need my children's approval of my man
Does this mean that you are willing to live your life according to what your children want, rather than what you want? Who is the adult in your house?
if they don't get on with him then he has no chance
I agree with that, but its not up to the children who the parents date is it? Surely someone would want to get to know a person before introducing them to their children?
the first time my fiance met my children ... it was love at first sight.... he proved it
How do you know it was 'love at first sight'? How is that proved?
Its very easy for someone to be who someone else wants them to be for a limited amount of time, true colours do come out eventually, but its amazing how long they can be hidden for.
why waste months of getting to know someone if they are not into kids?
Why would you meet someone that isn't into kids in the first place? I would assume the fact that you had children would have come up in conversation fairly early on, assuming he had not seen that fact on your profile.
if you feel you connect... let them meet the kids
I agree, but for some people it takes more than one or two meetings to feel if they truely connect or not. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:06:42 AM | Half an hour's drive preferably, definitely no more than one hour otherwise. It just makes things too awkward, otherwise.
To go beyond that, the person would have to be extremely special.. | |
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| How far is too far?
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:32:42 AM |
I wait until I KNOW he is a decent man, i get to know them before i even contemplate letting them meet my child. He is the most important thing in my life end of. That doesnt mean i have to let him meet every bloke that takes me out on a date. I dont view every date as a potential relationship, i see it as a night out with someone and if we get on then thats good, if we dont then we dont see each other again.
I dont hide the fact i have a child from anyone but i dont want my son meeting every date i have
I couldn't agree more. I know from personal experience the long term damage and effect this can have on a child and future relationship with the parent. Without going into details my Dad messed up big time in this department and as a result we haven't had a " meaningful father-son relationship" since. That was over 20 years ago.
Your child's opinion and feelings should always be paramount and taken carefully into consideration. You owe your parents nothing and your children everything. | |
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