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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:56:20 PM | I am 45, never married, no kids, no entanglements. when I meWt a guy I don't have an agenda. What a novelty! I do what I want and don't have the need to drag someone else into it. If it happens fine, if not fine.
It's called being secure in my own skin. Men have been so beat up and drained dry that they cannot comprehend any other lifestyle. It's the misery loves company syndrome and I dont have any misery.....how dare I! | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:02:08 AM | I'm 55 and have never been married. Never really been close and never had any long term relationships. When I was a younger duffer I always thought I would be married and all the guys I grew up with got married within a couple of years of each other when I was in my early 20s. I graduated from university, but I was never particularly ambitious (how women hate that) and was always satisfied with what I had and unlike Cassius I never had that lean and hungry look, but whatever I did I always did the best that could be done.
Time never seemed to have any urgency for me and getting old kind of snuck up on me. I have aged quite well, having the same waist size I had when I was 18 but being 30 pounds heavier and stronger, and hopefully smarter although I regret to report that my IQ is almost 50 points lower than my weight. Good genes left me with almost no lines on my face as well as most all of my hair with just a touch of gray at the temples. I know I am supposed to be getting aches and pains anytime now, but I haven't yet so something may be wrong. I do buy ibuprofen, but usually throw away most of the bottle because it has expired.
Being alone I kind of grew into being a loner, but not alone. I am not antisocial, but consider myself to be nonsocial--I prefer my own company to that of most people I know, but I am not shy and can talk the hind leg off a mule. I am friendly with many people, but friends with few although my friends know they can always depend upon me.
I am not afraid of commitment, but I do not seek it out or make it casually. I had a girlfriend 16 years ago and she had a baby girl whose father had deserted her. I told my girlfriend that if I formed a relationship with the baby and she bonded with me that I would not walk out on her, and I never did. I helped to teach her to talk and walk, tie her shoes and how to ride a bike. We went to Disney World and she spent many weeks living with me in the summers.
My girlfriend and I only lasted a year, but that little baby is now a beautiful 16 year old girl with long red hair who is taller than I am. She emailed me last summer to say that her mom's husband had always been a good stepfather, but that I was always dad. I still get tears when I remember that. I had no kind of moral obligation to remain committed to her, but I gave my word and I believe vows are not to be taken lightly. I know about commitment.
The subject question is whether I would go out with somebody who had never been married and I would ask, why not? Does a person need to have proven that they can fail at an interpersonal relationship to be dateable? Do they get extra credit points for having tried, or making bad decisions? I reckon that even if it came to marriage that I would be much better at it now, seeing as how it only really has 50/50 odds anyways. I also bet that most have not made it this far, so they'll have to wait for the movie to come out: "Blazing Paddles"--how an old fart was shocked back to life. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:25:28 AM | I'm doing it right now, actually. I never knew she hadn't been married before till just recently. It just wasn't something that I ever thought to ask her about. I could tell she'd been in relationships before, knew what love was all about, so that's all that concerned me. Frankly, I just seemed more interested in finding out about what she was, rather than what specifics in her past made her like she was. We all have our stories and all these things come out in their proper time.
But of course, this is just my opinion. And I would expect that not many would agree with it.
cdn guy | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:07:40 PM | | I would go out with them, but I've found that a lot of the ones I've met are single because they wanted to be. I also think it is hard for them to ever get used to having someone else to think about. I have one friend that just turned 60. We get along great. But he will never get married or be in a serious relationship. He really doesn't have a desire for that. Kind of a shame. He has a lot of what I want in a man. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/25/2008 1:55:37 AM | Now lets see.
Wont go out with a divorced pereson casue they have no sense of commitment
Wont go out with a single person over 45 casue they have no sense of commitment
Wont go out with a younger person casue of the age gap.
That means the only person left to date is a married person cheating on their spouse. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:58:05 AM | To me a more important criterion than ever married, is, did they raise children?
There is something about the childless-by-choice man or woman that sets them apart. They tend to be fit because they have always had time to exercise and vacation. They often look younger than their age, because they haven't been putting out domestic fires for the past 20 to 25 years. They have the insouciance of someone who hasn't changed a diaper or forgiven a bashed fender or a failing grade by their own offspring. Their late nights are due to playing or listening to live music, not to chasing down a missing teenager out on a joyride.
I don't think they are bad people, but I think they are probably incompatible with ME. They don't understand self-sacrifice, usually, nor do they understand why something involving a person's children is a perfectly fair reason to cancel a date. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 1:34:19 PM | I just broke up with a man who is 39 and never married--he kept on and on until we were dating. At the time his persistance was rather alluring, but now I realize his insistence was nothing more than a teenage type curiosity.
I don't think I will ever date men who are younger than me again.
The man seems perfectly satisfied with his hand--more power to him. Practice with his hand did nothing to teach him how to relate to actual human beings though.
So the answer to your beginning question: Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group--I would only if they'd been in prior long-lasting relationships. I don't trust the man's desire level when he chose to interact on the most part with only himself. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 2:03:27 PM | | This may be an interesting thread. It is almost 4 p.m. in two hours I'll meet a lady for the first time face to face. She is 2 years my junior and has never been married and her appearance in pictures appears to be that of an old maid who fell to the wayside for lack of interest for whatever reason. However, her voice is very pleasant and her attitude is very welcoming and caring and understanding albeit without any hint of sexual overtones. Maybe I'll return to this thread tonight and blog my observations and feelings. Although I've been in relationships over the past 15 years it has been rare that I've actually been on what I considered a date or anything comparable to what a date was prior to my first marriage. Actually, this date tonight will be more like accepting an invitation to a party for Christian singles in which I am confused as to whether I'm meeting her as a friend or a date. In any case I'm definitely anxious to be there since there will be several others available should I not hit it off with her right off the bat. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:08:31 PM | | I will admit that even I am guilty of wondering why they are still single if I see an attractive man past age 40 who has never been married but indeed I am over 45 and have never been married. At first I was too busy with school and career and just didn't meet the right person. Later I met, fell in love with and lived for 7 years with the one I thought was the right person but he went out of his way to prove me wrong. Even though we had no legal chains to bind us we were committed (at least I was) during those 7 years. So if you are going to make assumptions about people and judge them on the basis of their past marital statis, make sure you know all the facts. I believe there can be marriages with absolutely no committment on the part of either partner and there can be LTRs with more committment than most marriages. After all some people might say that divorced people are "damaged goods" or carry "lots of baggage". But not I. Remember.....One man or womans trash just may be anothers treasure!!! | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:26:43 PM |
Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
I would have no problem with just going out with someone in the 45 plus group seeing that I am there myself, but imo, the chances of having an ltr with one are greatly reduced. The same would apply if they have been married 2 or 3 times. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:28:41 PM | I confess I have been guilty of making assumptions about people who have not been in a relationship or married this late in life. I know of a fellow who has never been married. Someone mentioned him to me. She said he just hasn't found the right woman yet...there was a strong hint in her tone! So, I just said "no thanks. He's waiting for the Virgin Mary and she's already taken." I know...rude.
But since reading this, I have decided to repent of my evil thoughts. I know people make wrong judgement calls about people who have been married several times...not to mention the several relationships spattered here and there. I fit in that category...yet I do know about commitment....and poor judgement...and circumstances beyond our control.
ps...cdn*guy....you are like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. You give us hope there are guys out there like you still. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:18:59 PM | | Why do so many divorced people act like they have this attitude and seem to think they are better than people who have not been married? Guess being in the majority makes one feel as if everyone else is substandard or have to prove that we are worthy of a date? sad commentary on people my age to me...guess maturity does not always come with age. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:46:28 PM | | Well, I made my date tonight with that old maid. Nice person, not enough data to draw a conclusion. I've definitely been out with divorced ladies before who were far colder. Meeting this lady for the first time was like hanging out with a buddy... as in ZERO sensual attraction but a "nice" person to have a cup of coffee with. It's still too early to evaluate the results as it will take a phone call or some form of communication to see how she responds. For sure, she's nowhere near like a couple of dates I've been on where the woman has a chip on her shoulder and accuses me of just wanting sex or those who are jaded and want to get back at their ex by just wanting to have sex and go home like they are getting an oil change or something. | |
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| Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/27/2008 5:51:32 AM |
Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
I would go out with a never-married someone in the 45 plus group. I do not think I'm better than someone who's remained single just because I had a long-term relationship but coming from different worlds might increase the chances of incompatibility. And I would be curious about their past, but, of course, I'm always curious about someone's past. It makes them who they are today.
The unwritten part of the original question is would a "previously married" person be interested in a person who has never been married? Perhaps an equally fair question would be "Would a person who has never been married be interested in someone who's divorced?" | |
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