| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:43:36 AM | No ,Do not mistake trust for being stupid. She broke the trust, not you.
lets look at the facts shall we?
Before we parted we flirted that we would meet back at her place after the bars for some hot drunken sex. We both agreed and off we went on our ways
Fact: a promise broken.
around 2:15 I texted her to ask how she was doing and she relpied "I'm Good".
Fact: I bet. according to her story she was with the dude at that time.
I called several times and her phone was always off.
That tells the story right there. she in fact cut you off that night.
At 7:15 am she walked in the door.
That confirms your fears. In a relationship, there are some things that is NOT acceptable.
They talked and eventually fell asleep together on the couch.
BULL COOKIES! would you do that in that situation? Its amazing to me how some women think a man is stupid by feeding them half-truths, Then when he will not accept such a flimsy story, it is somehow HIS fault!!!
Get rid of that gamer! you deserve better! let that clown she's dropping trout for pick up the bill and give her shelter.
There is an old country boy proverb:
"He who is f**king her, Shall also feed her"
Tom | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:03:29 AM | Ok I read only the OP ....so I will respond to it with a big YES.....You are wasting your time....She obviously turned her phone off for a reason...She didn't want you to get a hold of her....She is cheating on you, that much is evident just from the little things you described...Best advice I can give you is walk away....Let her go....
The age thing however has nothing to do with it as I am 26 and do date older men....What it sounds like is you guys are just not in the same place....She still wants to party and have a good time and you are confusing your feelings for her, cause it sounds like Lust to me.....But there are plenty of women her age who are mature and ready for a relationship....Time to find a mature one..... | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:21:47 AM | No you are not wasting your time. She does not appreciate you! Move on and have her move out. Time to play. She will chase you. Enjoy her but understand that she is what she is. You can not change her and no need to fight. Learn to take care of your self. Happy New Year. By the way age is not even a issue. She will be this way into her 50. You at 39 is like a 25 year old woman. Woman age and show their age much more than men. Just continue to take care of yourself. Can not take care of a person that does not grow and appreciate what you do for them and this is not a factor of age. This is her charaacter. Enjoy!!! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:35:32 AM | Just got a message for ya from Ray Charles, even HE sees that something's messed up here bro!! lol.
In all seriousness I would just ask myself one thing in your situation, how would this girl react if the story was reversed?? If she was the one sitting home waiting for you all night and then you come strolling in at 7am saying some girl you met took you back to her place and you guys fell asleep watching a movie?? Don't think I'm going out on too much of a limb here but I think she would be slightly displeased if that happened. That level of hypocrisy a good relationship does not make. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:22:26 AM | | Hey OP...First of, the age thing isn't a big deal. I have dated that much younger, some have been mature about it, while 2 have not. And the one did a few thing similar to your situation. Just take it at face value. She lied, she did not come home to the place she lives, people only turn their phone off for privacy. The lie could be small, or HUGE..either way she lied. Can you continue a relationship after she lied to you? Can you trust her again? I couldn't...so out she would go, no matter how I felt towards her. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:58:58 AM | Oh sweety. Been there done that. I have also been a 25 year old girl. Im afriad I have no good news for ya...She is up to no good. Move on or waste your time its you call but shes a waste if you are a good man. This is only my view of this.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:11:52 AM | YES
You are wasting your time!
You want awoman that will have scruples and substance look to older women.
We are still hot....have intelligence, wisdom, and ummmm when it comes to sex...we will leave those 25 yr olds in the dust baby!!!
Food for thought..... | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:44:11 AM | | Men she's playing you good. Do yourself a favor and give her the boot. I know where your comeing from though, I had it happen to me here a few times. Once A woman here E-mail to call her. Well anyway I was about to e-mail, when she im me and got to chating and things as I though where going good. Well she ask me to call her the next day and I did, but then ahe would not answer any of my phone call or my e-mails. So In the last e-mail I said I was moving on and that was that. Anyways there more women out there man, so get over it and move on. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:50:34 AM |
You want awoman that will have scruples and substance look to older women.
We are still hot....have intelligence, wisdom, and ummmm when it comes to sex...we will leave those 25 yr olds in the dust baby!!!
OP....listen to this woman...she speaks the truth.
Iam 41 and i would not contemplate dating a 25 yr old woman....why should i?
When there are so many hot ladies my own age around  | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:56:04 AM |
Guys don't have female friends, they have girls they know that they want to fcuk and girls they are trying to fcuk. A guy does not buy drinks at a bar for the interesting writer dude at the other table, or the girl that he thinks is disgusting at the end of the bar. He buys drinks for the girls he is ATTRACTED to.
You still buy drinks at a bar? Wow. When was the last time that worked? 1970? Dude, never buy a woman a drink, unless she paid for the first round. The thing is, that even if the buying of the drinks has worked for you, you can achieve the same and about 300 percent more, by not buying her a drink. Why? Women go to a bar and they don't want to spend any money, so they look for two types of men, one that would buy her a drink, and one that she will like. And most of the time they are not the same man. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:32:46 AM |
Women go to a bar and they don't want to spend any money, so they look for two types of men, one that would buy her a drink, and one that she will like. And most of the time they are not the same man.
I have to agree with you 100%. Not that I go to bars often, but the few times I have I always let men I wasn't interested in buy me a drink. The ones I was interested in I asked if they wanted to go get coffee or breakfast instead. :) | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:47:10 AM | I'm not going to bash you. I think you have had enough of that on here. First of all......feelings aren't right or wrong...they just are. It's what you do with those feelings that count. I suggest that for the moment you need to not see anyone and do some self reflection. I don't think the girls age has anything to do with it. Maturity (or lack of) comes at various times for everyone.
I have seen both men and women thinking they didnt want a particular person until someone else takes an interest. Please dont make yourself available. You are either going to put up with someones indecisiveness or you are not. I dont know what her intent was on that particular night and I have no interest in knowing. It should be obvious to you it wasnt YOU. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:15:19 AM | Actually counting the thread title you asked four questions so you get four answers in in particular order:
1. You are wasting your time;
2. You are blind - she's a cheater;
3. You are crazy to trust this woman (not girl - 39 year olds are women, chief);
4. The blindness and craziness account for the characterization of being stupid - but yes to this one also. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:19:48 AM | Having been in the same situation (except married and children) I know how very tough it is to open the eyes when they are slammed shut. You always want to believe that it will not happen. I decided not to share my experience, because it is kind of ugly and sounds totally ridiculous.
I just have learned that a situation like you described hurts your feelings. When somebody does something that hurts your feelings on purpose, that is emotional abuse. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:24:54 AM | Does that mean you "respect" the guys you are not interested in? Who is superficial here??
It's not superficial... it's called using the idiot that thought he could buy my attention with a drink. :) If a man is stupid enough to try that one then I'll let him. Now if he said "I really like you, I'd like to get to know you better... let me buy you a drink" and I wasn't interested I would say no thanks. If I respect him though I'll turn him down and suggest something more productive. I don't go and solicit the drinks from the strangers, if I did now that would be superficial. I don't mix alcohol and getting to know a guy though, that's just me. If I want to get to know them I take it outside of the bar and wait until we're both 100% alert. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:45:53 AM | | Per the scenario you painted.....You may desire not to burn the bridge as it sounds like when the two of you hook up it is good. If she desires to be "on the list" great and if she is unable to deal with "when our schedules meet" then she'll be the one left out. Get out there have fun and enjoy...Good luck. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:50:29 PM | OP....It could partly be the age difference. You're at different places in your lives. She still sounds like an immature party girl and that doesn't quite seem to be the image you portray. I could be wrong though - on both accounts.
RUN.....don't walk....or throw her arse out - like everyone has said. I was confused on your initial post because you stated you were dating/living with someone. I'd see 'dating' someone as maybe not an exclusive relationship where obviously living toether would be - one would hope anyways.
She sounds like a 'princess' that lives for male adoration. A female player. She will never be happy with just one guy. I'd never stand for my s/o sleeping in a single female's apartment - especially if I knew he was interested in her before he met me.
Chances are they did have sex. Yep, probably did. I would wonder why she chose to go back to his house in the first place. If someone is truely in a 'committed' relationship, they'd never consider doing that. She's playing you-big time.
You may have been in denial and wearing those rose colored glasses, but its time to face the truth. You should make a clean break of it. NO contact - at all. And do the other girls a favor and make sure you're emotionally ready before looking for another LTR. Yeah its going to hurt but not as much as it will down the road when it happens again - and it will. Grow some balls and find your self respect. You deserve better.
HR | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:03:25 PM | | I know I am wasting my time here-- I been on this site for a little over a year and met one decent woman...but the forums are interesting. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:06:15 PM | I realize you've only been here a short time. Only you can determine if it's worth your time or not. If you have other alternatives perhaps you should be exploring those, too.
It's a judgment call noone else can make, I will tell you this it often happens when you least expect it. Read the testimonials thread, I see that all the time.
Best of luck fishing and a Happy 2008! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:18:13 PM | | ouch...you need to look elsewhere because she obviously has. Oh, and don't look back! If you aren't having problems picking up chicks than why would you look back? I am sure there are hundreds of women waiting to treat you like crap, none are worth the stones you have to give up to deal with them. She obviously isn't any different. Move on friend. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:22:59 PM | | no person wants the attention taken off them when they are in some control of a situation.....trust me....it is short lived and insincere-these feelings she has suddenly gotten back for you........RUN FAR AWAY......do yourself the favor. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:45:16 PM | | I dunno .. butt eye'd say that one or both of you is suffering from PTPD-anacronym for post traumatic pus-sy disorder....I woke up this morning feeling like I had FOLDd*-anacronym for finding only lying dawgs disorder then unluckily I have been incarcerated in litter-assie and read your plight..... and suddenly I realize that I cannot thank you enough for wasting my time. P.S If your romantic endeavours get any worse please share All of it immediately with "us" in forums. Hell email me purrsonally will yah ... this is the best one I have ever suffered... I love obsessive convulva dis-whore-ders .... *-the D's associated with this disorder can imply other dictum..... | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:59:09 PM | | Well ............................ you don't just get caught up in things. Sounds to me like you are not focused, you might have to work on some definition of character. Better to make emotionally healthy choices so you can avoid being so open when the wind blows. | |
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