| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:19:50 AM | Most of the replies are giving the advise to forget the lost relationship - and I agree.
The experience we are all discussing would be very upsetting and most of us can identify with being let down.
Is the question not so much of analysing the past, as to allowing time for healing to take place now, as it is not a good thing for him to commence a new one, while still suffering from a previous relationship. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/1/2008 11:35:07 AM | ^^^Hey there loveawaits.. yah that is right .. don't acknowledge his mojo and his modus and heal from what ... ??? kickin his own ... ah family jewels down the yellow brick road with a wii stick on his wee wee... .. come on this guy needs to make the same mistake over and over again till it is over or he has a willingness to change and right now .. the light bulb is screwing itself into all the sockets in his house.. Most people on this site need therapy before the door hits em on the way in....
As for advice I'd say PSVT needs to take leap lessons over fast moving 18 wheelers cause when he is done spinning his; the rubber is gonnah hit the pavement wid a big blow out ...
As for worldly wisdom, oft in my younger years I would here the saying that men think with their .. ah little mini he hung dinger.. I would say that if PSVT had a chat with the dancing pickle before he squeezed his own sunkist lemons that between the four of em they would cum up empty handed... your yapper-attus pal needs to think before you thump... yup | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/1/2008 11:42:52 AM | | yes u are wasting your time! maybe she hasnt grown up yet and needs to 'live a bit' before getting really serious. x m | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:01:04 PM | How about dating someone your own "Mental" age as well. Obviously someone that much younger than yourself is going to have different views on important life issues. She did you a favor. Move on, get over it, NEXT!
And dude, my Daughter's only a little younger than your "GF", you're creeping me out... Robbing the cradle and you got caught... | |
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PSVT
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Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 105 | |
| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:24:22 PM | | A couple of things, one, I don't care how old YOUR daughter is dude....has nothing to do with me and does NOT make me creepy or not. Second, the girl in question from the OP visits this forum and reads everything you guys write. So far it is 107 against her and telling me that I am stupid. SO.....we are still sleeping together, she is remorseful and trying to change. Things are not perfect but my eyes are VERY wide open now and anymore bullshit from her and I am gone and she knows this. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:39:06 PM | Denial is a wonderful thing......
....serious mate.......you're torturing yourself and you're heading for a big fall.......she has you right where she wants you......caring people don't hurt their partners like this.....she's not done yet......just watch | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:00:05 PM | | she is still looking for her bigger better deal ...you will do for now..hope they used a rubber | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:07:23 PM | | Honey...she is done with you........you need to get done with her. GO ON THAT DATE!!! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:14:40 PM | When you throw her to curb, make sure you toss her things with her, so she doesn't have any reason to come back.
Chela | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:48:46 PM | I just started dating again recently and also as friends real friends, happy to be off the long term single affect forum.. forums can let you know you are not the only one who feels they are wasting their time..it's not good to be where you dont belong for very long this was not working for me exactly trying to connect and understand some members, feeling a little"Bridgette Jones"I was trying to figure out why people stay single for a long time and everyone has their reasons at their own pace and am I wasting my time here?
YES..I guess I was so happy to share that I have recently met someone and to many who really cares?? the only person who gives a bats ass is me without as dragging my daily crap on here showing I am human too to actually be happy with myself and even happier with someone.. back on here tonight realizing this all takes time.Human relationships are complicated and a process try to keep it simple.
Being a POF member and connecting with people.. is it a waste of time? until you meet someone I guess this is why many people join looking to connect with someone.. I do get a healthy relationship it all takes time no matter what..I'll be thankful.
I shall make better use of my time.
Relationships are complicated be honest with each other and all will work out..I hope. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 6:14:05 PM | | one more thing now I am following better now..when you move on guy and are honest with yourself, you will attract women that are truly meant for you and your level of maturity that suits you and you only, perhaps you really need a younger woman to have you feel better about yourself or you are well matched better with a younger woman you and she will be more faithful over time this is what you both want.. I dont think you are finished here just letting on you are and by having a younger hotter woman does not make you better it may make you look better on the surface unless the both of you have genuine feelings for each other.You want to date a younger woman you have to deal with her generation and attitude other than that all you have is a younger hotter woman on your arm as a status symbol and this is it this is all that this is really what you want other than that you are wasting your own time being you had your chance to have her for a short period of time some men have to have someone younger to make them feel younger and be thankful for your experience that let go and work on yourself a little and allow yourself someone better for your life:) being you dont want her back for all the wrong reasons. Best of luck! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 6:19:08 PM | It sounds to me like you are not meeting her needs If a woman is satisfied at home she won't go looking for strange. I thought sure a 39 year old could keep up with a 25 year old in the sack...sheesh! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 6:45:26 PM | Yes, you are stupid.
Not gonna rag on you about the age difference....the thing I am going to say is once a cheater always a cheater. I had a bf once who cheated on me - he gave me the same type of story your girl gave you "nothing happened". He ALSO "showed remorse" and kept sleeping with me and kept promising never to hurt me again.
BULL
$H*T
He did it like THREE TIMES that I caught him at before I finally pulled my head out of MY a$$.
When we finally broke up, he admitted that "something happened", and not just once, but MANY times after that with different people. When I asked WHY....he said:
"Because you let me"
He told me that once I bought his BS story, he lost respect for me.....and after that, it was just a matter of "hey, she's stupid enough to believe anything. Sky's the limit. I FRIGGIN ROCK!"..........
Your girl is doing and saying the same thing.
Yes, you are stupid. Join the club. :-) But.....you don't have to be stupid ANYMORE. I'm not!
Course ....if you think you CAN'T get any young pu$$y except this little slutette, then by all means, wear a really big condom and go for it! | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:30:18 PM | | OP I'm sorry if the girl in question is going to have her feelings hurt when she reads what peoples views are on her. YOU posted the thread. YOU asked for opinions. Good Lord man have you never read in these forums. If so you had to be aware that people were going to brutally give their opinions. It always amazes me how someone can start a thread and then get offended by peoples opinions. If you want someone to tell you what you want to hear and agree with you hold a pity party with your friends. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:22:38 AM | You are not stupid but you are definitely smitten if not much more serious than that. And you are giving her every benefit of the doubt. Be careful, though. She may just be very insecure and want her cake and eat it, too.
The age difference shouldn't matter because 25 is good to go for 39. Your both adults. Personally, I think you a good person to allow her to turn off her cellphone. If it was innocent when she fell asleep on the couch then the phone should not have been turned off. Maybe YOU needed a call from her to see if YOU were all right.
You're doing fine, just don't take too much more without seeing the handwriting on the wall. Still, you might want to define your relationship. Is it open? Does she want it to be? What do you want?
Hope it helps. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:30:40 AM | There you go. That's the right attitude. Gotta be careful of STDs, too. Anyone can be in danger when someone is sleeping around IF he/she is. We have a few drinks and get clouded. If she wants you then she wants you. She cannot have both. Usually this is a man thing anyway. JUST KIDDING, GUYS! But you sound like you have your head on straight. Follow you gut and KEEP your eyes wide open. We, girls can be just as determined to do what we want to do as anybody else when we want something. Men have to learn that this is not JUST a man's world.
I'm smiling. Peace. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:14:51 PM | Look up the definition of sociopathic behaviour.. you will see all the signs pointing your private parts to chug along and play chew choo train with the next hopefully matuer available representative..
Most people who entangle themselves in these behaviours and lies need serious long term counselling not a man or a woman, they are not the least bit interested in whether they hurt you or anyone else , everything they do revolves around them and they do not feel your pain .. for if they did they would never play out impulse behaviour.. and you don't have to be Freud to understand that it comes from the slate where they began to learn .. their parents.. Now you mister need some counselling or some self analysis to figure out why you are hanging onto someone who is only concerned about herself.... any guy that has his short and curlies straight up and self confident would not give this self centered individual a second glance ... but hey you seem to be in for a fan that hit the ,.,.,, Sh!t more than ,,,,, you knead too... | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:41:03 PM | You're 39...she's 25?
What'cha doo-in dere...playin "Daddy"?
There's a big age/emotional/cultural gap there...It sounds like your apples to her oranges...She's not ready to settle down to a commitment at 25...My God, were YOU at that age?
I know I wasn't...and I STILL am not at 45...Ah, but that's another story... | |
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PSVT
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Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 120 | |
| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:49:36 AM | | Ok so after 2 weeks of fighting and trying to work things out SHE has decided that the only way we can move forward it with a show of faith and trust on MY part. So she comes to me this afternoon and informs me she is going out with the same slutty single friend to a dance club and that I either HAVE to trust her or we are through. She says THIS time she will NOT drink and she will guranteed be home in bed waiting for me at 2:30am. Again as you people KNOW this is a huge trust issue I have with her. I asked her to test the trust thing in smaller ways, go out with a different friend, go out drinking and dancing with me, whatever just not all or nothing right away. No dice, for her this is the ONLY way to prove that I trust her. I don't really and not sure if that is even possible again. Well I decide to also go out to the clubs in a different town. I am leaving and she stops me and almost begs me for sex before I go. I give in :) and then as I am leaving she says "well at least you will not be able to have sex with anyone else". I leave and go out to the clubs and have a good time. I come home around 1:00 and find that 2 bottles of booze are almost empty. She drank a considerable amout before se even left. First let down. SO I go back out, I am downtown drinking and I meet up with some people that I am having a good time with. The one girl in the party asks me to share a cab back to her place and whispers in my ear that she just wants to blow me no strings attached. I decline just the "GF" is text messaging me at 2:30 wondering where I am and why I am not in bed with her for round 2. I go home and ask her how her night went. She seems not to drunk but something is off. No sex, she is pissed that I was not home waiting for her I guess like an ***hole. So I ask her what happened, did she meet up with any random guys. She says no, only that she bumped into a girl that she helped the slut move out of her place about a month ago. I ask her where she went and she says she went to this club and was dancing. All cool. The she says that on the way home this GUY, the SAME one as in the previous story, text messages her and asks her to meet him at a different bar for a drink and SHE GOES!!!!! Now in her defence she only spends 10 minutes having a friendly drink with him but I mean come on......the same guy that started all this bullshit and on the night my trust is tested this is where she choses to spend time instead of in bed with me. I am not looking for confirmation on how retarded I am, I kinda know. I guess I just wanted so bad to believe her and trust her. So we argue a bit at 3am and she starts acting all vicious and defencive of this "friendship" and I ask her that in this "spirit of trust", did she think when she met him that it would upset me and she said YES, definitely. I said then was the 10 minutes with this guy worth it? She said yes. That he is her friend and she will not allow me to pick and choose her friends. Earlier I asked her to do this litmus test for guy friends. I said "call so-and-so RIGHT now and tell him you are drunk and horny and you want to fcuk him bad". If the guy comes over for the fcuk then he is not your friend he is simply a screw in waiting. When I aksed her what this guy would say to that offer she said "I really don't know and I am afraid to find out". Not a friend. She has other guy friends that when asked the same question she quickly said "absolutely not, he would ask me if I was crazy and want to know what was wrong with me?" That is an acceptable guy friend in my eyes. So here I sit, with her on the bed beside me it is 7 am and I am miserable. I know I know I should leave and that is what I intend to do, but let this be a warning, a leopard NEVER changes it spots....I know, I am a leopard too! Time to move on. I hope you all enjoyed my little relationship drama, this has been therapitic pouring my soul out here and reading all your responses. Thank you for taking the time to reply, it was not wasted. I geniuinely read every word. If anyone is interested in a wounded sucker that appaerently is pretty easy to fool, send 'em my way. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:26:56 PM | Holy crappola.PSVT .. my head hurts .,.. not in the right way .. I am pretty sure now that you are both incapable of being helped in any capacity as your screws are all gone; vanished ... not loose see....This of course is a layperson's opinion, not your lay see.... I don't know about leopards and spots ... but I would say you are at least in the top ten to star in the new hit adventure series on discovery channel called .. "Grays Lobotomy ..." this is where neurosurgeons use the tiniest scope known to man and using their naked two eyes ... hmm to see if we can help the future of civilization by lopping your penis off instrumentally from the inside while you give it your all from the outside , which of course you are working diligently at .... with due fortitude.... you must be commended however on your inability to getter done PSVT ...
PS I used to get frightened by horror movies ... POF forums is scarier than the reel life will ever be.... I live in hill billy heaven never thought there was hill billy hell ... geesh.. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:15:58 PM | PSVT... sorry for your troubles. Sometimes we need to bash our head against a brick wall a time or two, just to get the message. I'm inclined to say don't beat yourself up for hoping it wasn't going to be this way. We love, we hope.
But in the cold light of day, take a good look at why you allowed such nonsense... because you yearn for something you were getting in part from this girl. Enough that you allowed her to disrespect you for a time.
All the best OP. | |
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| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:31:41 PM | LOL! Ah, the DRAMA.
And I feel sorry for the guy friend on the other end who likely isn't getting any ... but everyone thinks he is. He's probably the nice guy who puts up with her drama, really cares about her, but she's got him in the "friend zone" (as people here like to put it). | |
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PSVT
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Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 124 | |
| Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:26:31 AM | | I guess I am a hopeless romantic at heart. She has done a complete about face on her actions and her stance regarding them. Now admits she made the biggest mistake of her life and wants me back. Should I trust her? | |
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