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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:06:18 PM |
wouldnt you rather him contact you about your intersts and so on first?how is it dishonest to not show a pic?you can send one to him on line when you know you are interested in him.if he doesnt message you back.oh well,but the guy who does is going to have liked you for who you are first.isnt that worth it?
Objection!! Counsel is leading the witness....... | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:38:14 PM | | well Arugla if that was the case i would be a million heriess if i could read minds lol it just does not work that way at all i talk with people who have passed over to the other side which im just the messenger the phone so to speak and i cant give myself readings i have to go to someone for a reading its just the way it works , thats is how my gift works but all psychics are different and work in different ways but alot of people assume i can just make it happen , but the bottom line is i cant it the spirits that choose me i dont choose them ...... | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:57:29 PM | It's interesting that so much emphasis is placed on physical appearance. When the affects of time, or tragedy destroy and alter that appearance will those same people no longer love their partner or "do them", as some have indicated? Is their relationship and its intimacy so intertwined with physical appearance that should that be altered the relationship ends?
ACP | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:07:13 PM | well IMO looks ARE important, but not nearly as important as personality.
Looks = Physical attraction
Personality = Emotional attraction
and most people want both... I still feel people put too much emphasis on physical attraction but that is their own choice. The Physical will get me there... the emotional will keep me there. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:22:33 PM | Wow, what came first the chicken or the egg. Ideally, we could wear the intentions of our hearts on our foreheads. That way anyone could see the sincerity or lack thereof a mile away.
Physical attraction is individual, but I think it must exist. A wonderful personality makes for wonderful friendships, but I don't think it is enough to keep you for the long haul. How can you stay with someone you are just not attracted to? Conversely, you can be physically stunning and be absolutely ugly inside. That too gets old fast and has no staying power.
Ultimately, what matters is determined on an individual basis. Approach good looks and/or wonderful personalities with a grain of salt. See what happens, is what you have at hand enough to build something lasting? Only you can decide.
:modhammer: | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:37:59 PM | This is where i am to picky for my own good. to me personality is v. important... i like someone who likes the same things as me, someone whos geniune and funny, likes to mess around but mature at the same time. but looks are also important, when ppl say they dnt go for looks, i dnt understand you cant be physically attracted to someone through their personality. I like the tanned, dark hair look but the personality has to match...
I have high goals but hey why settle for any lower? | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:42:30 PM | | I chose my first husband because he was good-looking mainly. I have come a long way since that time in my maturity. I think a truly mature person chooses a permanent mate based on everything else before looks, and that is what I am looking for now. If you have a good-looking mate, but have an a--hole of a mate, and can't stand to be around him/her, you still have nothing. I was married for almost 30 years to a buff good-looking football star, but most of those yearsI was unhappy. A good-looking man does not make me happy. A good man does. I am now looking for a good man, not a good-looking man. I have learned almost everything in life the hard way. By mistakes. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:47:01 PM | | This has to be a trick question....cause I hear the famous "Looks start things, personality keeps things" philosophy spouted out a lot, yet all I ever see acted out is the "looks are greater than anything" mentality used on me. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:52:46 PM | No matter how you put it - looks do matter to a degree! It is the initial attraction and you obviously want to "enjoy" looking at your S.O.
Do they have to be a runway model? NO!!! I am personally not attracted to "pretty boys", but there has to be something that I find intriguing/interesting about them.
With that being said, the personality/characteristics is what's going to keep your heart/attention and make the relationship flourish.
Best,
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:06:15 PM | What people are failing to realize is it depends on the person. If you're use to being with an a-hole for 10 or so years, then you've got to train yourself to see the good in others. It makes you hesistant, to trust anybody else you come in contact with.
Going after looks is a part of human nature, although there is a lot more to looks, being around somebody you'll instantly tell if both of you will instantly click, and whether there can be more or not.
I would say matters of the heart are more important to an extent, but also personality, character, and how you carry yourself matters too.
People often have self esteem issues, we all have them. I always build people up, because I know how it feels to be constantly torn down to the point that you feel you're worthless. So I have to agree its a total package deal. You've got to get a person whose comfortable to tell you everything. They cannot be afraid of losing you as a friend or possible mate. You in turn however have to be understanding, and stay out of the gossip mill, to strengthen your relationship as a friend, or mate. Communication is the key, you should can't be afraid of where it might get you. Relationships are constant work.
Just my two cents  | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:14:42 PM | The heart. There's always something beautiful about the people I deliberately get together with sexually at the time for me. And I may have hitched my wagon to stars that were gleaming through at one particular moment only to find that there was much more to the person that either he or I just couldn't live with.
But I honestly believe we only see our partners as ugly when we break-up or we hurt each other (intentionally or not). And we're all equally capable of playing both roles no matter what our physical characteristics are. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:21:23 PM | | I would like to say that heart matters but that would be a load of crap. I personally email people and just get to know them. I read the profiles first. If you dont take time to write about your self to keep people interested looks are really a second thought. Just my opinon. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:39:26 PM | All the guys I've ever liked have looked so different from one another that it's not so much a 'type' that attracts me as it is my gut reaction to the person.
I may prefer someone in the 6' - 6'4" range, and on the thin side .. but that inclination is influenced by previous characters who've traipsed through my life, and at first, it always takes me some getting used to the looks of a guy that in other respects I've found interesting and magnetic.
It's also why I don't fall in love with anyone immediately ~ I need to have developed a friendship basis first. I might really really really think he's cute, funny and sweet, but I'm swayed by external traits ONLY when they remind me of past loves.
Looks are important more as they pertain to tidy appearance and responsible self-maintenance.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:42:51 PM | Hello OP.
Maybe when you say looks dont matter to you, what you could be getting at is that you're one of those people who can like a very wide range of different types of looks.
Experiences in life will count a lot on how you prioritise looks and the heart of a person.
I'm a fortunate woman in that i tend to be attracted to almost any colouring, body shape, ect. My preferences are wide and diverse. i usually like the guy that no one else finds attractive,.. Yay for me!
In my very important and formative teenage years, i had to face a few disfiguring surgeries,.. i knew then, very early on, that looks can be taken away quickly, and that you'd better have a good heart and good qualities to make up for it. As time went on, i gained back some of my appearance,.. but never forgot that people, can still be attractive, in my eyes, if i like them enough. its almost like hypnotising yourself to actually like the looks of someone that may not be that attractive, but are lovely people. i do think women have a bit more of a knack for being able to do this. Love, can be blind in some cases, buts its something you must want to be able to do.
DAx | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 6:30:26 PM | | Unfortunately, in the internet world, we seek what has 'curb appeal' first because we CAN!!!! Let's face it, when we meet people through work, friends, etc., we get to know their personalities and then may become attracted because we like it. On here, or any other dating site, we don't KNOW them, regardless of how 'nice' they tell us they are, we look for the attraction physically. I am quite sure I have 'poo poo'd' men based on looks on here, that I have may been interested in meeting face to face through friends. But I don't want to be a date tramp and meet everyone that contacts me. Not sure what the answer is :( | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:58:53 PM | I believe it's what they feel in their heart that matters...of course we have to have some kind of an attraction to their smile, eyes or in my case, hands..lol. I like to look at a man's hands..clean nails, etc. 
When you look at someone for the first time, is there a spark?? any kind of feeling of attraction towards them but this all goes w/ who he is inside....I don't base it on his looks..I think it's mainly about what kind of person he is and then everything just comes together.
Mostly, it's in the heart for me, that's what I feel.  | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:02:47 PM | There has to be a basis for initial attraction. Granted not everyone is attracted to the same things but there is still the fact that there has to be an initial spark.
Face it if you aren't attracted to someone to start with you won't spend the time necessary to get to know the person inside. | |
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| is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:44:42 PM | Of course it is looks. Now, that look is completely different for everyone. It doesn't mean the other person is "perfect" it just mean they are perfectly lovely to the one looking at them. It is in the eyes, or the way they laugh, lots of different things. Who the heck knows why we are attracted to someone. You just see something about them that makes you feel really good and well you know the rest.
Best of luck with the love search. You will know. | |
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