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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:38:13 PM |
let me ask all you DD affecionados, if I open doors for women, or hold open a car door, am I being a "wuss?"
That depends very much on WHY you are opening the door for her. Are you opening it because you like her and you WANT to do it, or are you doing that because you are bribing her into liking you(or because of a social obligation)?
If it's the former, then no, you ain't a wuss. If it's the late, then yes. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/27/2007 10:30:12 PM | MRX . I have read many of his materials, and not bought the book (on web)yet. But I am inclined too. He is hitting the nail on the head with his mantra. Sure its about seling his book too. but it makes sense. Its for all guys even the skeptics.
I have tried some on the list where the women usualy dont respond due to sheer volume of guys to pick from. And yes, I get a woman write me back, every time.
So IMHO the stuff is right on, even some women admit to it. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:09:07 PM | MDNINJA wrote: "Are you opening it because you like her and you WANT to do it, or are you doing that because you are bribing her into liking you(or because of a social obligation)?"
I am not sure how opening doors is bribing someone into liking me. Can you explain what you mean? If I did not like a woman, we would not be on a date to begin with.
Sometimes a door is just a door. I work in a highrise building and always open doors for women if we are entering or leaving one area at the same time. Women do appreciate it, and always say thank you. But since there are 1,800 people in the building, the chance of seeing them again is remote.
True opening a car door for a woman is a bit more personal, but still it is a door like all others. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:15:45 PM | MDNinja and other posters, here is a question about something I feel completely at odds with DD about.
I am not being critical of you or your use of DD material, just would like to get your opinion.
If I am out with a woman and she looks pretty, I tell her so. I have even told co-workers this if they have gone away from business casual and dress up for work. How is this incorrect behavior?
DD seems to feel that you should not compliment women. It effect he is saying it is better to bust their chops all the time.
I don't get it.
b/t/w could someone tell me how to box quote, it would help to illustrate my response to someones post. t y | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/28/2007 11:57:47 PM |
I am not sure how opening doors is bribing someone into liking me. Can you explain what you mean?
I am not sure how much more I can explain it. I open a door for a woman because I want to do that. Other guys will open a door for a woman because on some level they think it will get them something (Her affection, noticed, a thank you, ect...), other guys will do it because they are trained to do it like a chore.
If I am out with a woman and she looks pretty, I tell her so. I have even told co-workers this if they have gone away from business casual and dress up for work. How is this incorrect behavior?
The incorrectness of the behavior is determined by WHY you are doing it.
DD seems to feel that you should not compliment women. It effect he is saying it is better to bust their chops all the time.
He's not saying you shouldn't compliment women, he's saying you shouldn't give away your power to them. One way to do that is to bust their chops instead of showwering them with gifts and compliments.
It's really about common sense though. You shouldn't walk into a yoga class and bust everyone's chops. Just the same you shouldn't go on a date and feed them all sorts of compliments. There is a time and place for everything. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/29/2007 11:03:38 AM | | DDA clearly states he does not offer RELATIONSHIP advice. It is DATING advice. He doesn't say women shouldn't be complimented, just not to do it often, and keep her on her toes with witty comebacks. It ain't rocket science. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:35:58 AM |
It ain't rocket science
Finally someone who follows DDA admits that there is no science to attraction as David DeAngelo insists.
Attaction is based on interpersonal reactions, not science. And maintaining that attraction is based on interpersonal skills. Anyone who says they have unlocked the keys to attraction based on science,**** comedy, etc. is kinda nutty.
Let me ask, if I compliment a woman, what POWER am I giving away to her? | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:04:58 PM |
Let me ask, if I compliment a woman, what POWER am I giving away to her?
Again it depends on why you are complimenting her. Most guys compliment a woman because deep down they(men) are insecure and think that it is the only way for them to get a woman to like him.
Then, there are guys like me, who qualify women and give them compliments when they are deserved or because we feel like giving them one.
The former complimenter is putting women on a huge pedastal and saying "hey, I am a loser that is beneith you. So I have to compliment you inorder to get your attention because I don't feel secure enough as a man"
The later is suggesting that men and women are on more equal ground. The guy complimenting this way is thinking on some level "I have some self-respect. I have standards and you've met those standards, so I'll reward you appropreately." | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:18:33 PM | wow, I think you guys are all really over thinking everything......
don't you think relations should just 'flow' if they are actually legitimate?
everything I read here seems too calculated like:
1)when I was in sales person training......
"if the customer says this.....you come back with__________"
10) When someone asks you a question you don't want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
I mean, if you practice it I guess you can make it appear to be real
responses and real interaction,but in my opinion it is just slick sales training jargon.
My question :
is this david d. stuff getting you laid more,or just putting money in his pocket?
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:09:44 PM |
is this david d. stuff getting you laid more,or just putting money in his pocket?
I don't buy his stuff. You can get it off the web for free. Some of it is bs, some of it is common sense, and some of it is pretty good. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:36:20 PM |
don't you think relations should just 'flow' if they are actually legitimate
I agree guitar man.
Actually if I compliment a woman, the words just come out of my mouth. So there is no forthought given to it. Not sure where that puts me on the DDA scale.
I do think if you have a relationship with a woman and she dresses up for you on a date, you should compliment her. Just good manners like opening car doors.
Everyone is different, but I guess manners are just ingrained in me. Since I have not changed this behavior, the women I know, must like it.
Can you tell I am not a DDA disciple???
Still I have a question for the DDA guys. If a woman calls me and asks me out, am I tranferring power to her by accepting?
Okay two questions (this is a forum after all). Women I know are much more agressive sexually than I am. Is this also transfering power. (Not sure DDA covers this in his emails ) | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:38:56 PM |
Other guys will open a door for a woman because on some level they think it will get them something (Her affection, noticed, a thank you, ect...), other guys will do it because they are trained to do it like a chore
A chore??? You are out with a pretty lady and opening a door is a chore? Boy where does this reasoning come from? | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/1/2007 10:47:28 PM |
A chore??? You are out with a pretty lady and opening a door is a chore? Boy where does this reasoning come from?
FYI: I said "other guys." So if you were accusing me of thinking it a "chore," then you are mistaken.
As I said some Other guys. Guys other than myself. Guys who are NOT me, think it is some grande, rightious, act of selflessness to open a door for another humanbeing. Then when they don't get what they want from the woman, they come on here and **** and moan about all the things they did for her, and what an ungrateful wench she is for not basking in their holier than thou glow.
You ask where the reasoning comes from and I concur. Yet I will take it a step further and wonder if there is any reasoning at all. Twisted as it may seem, this is the thought process of the "nice guy."
if I compliment a woman, the words just come out of my mouth. So there is no forthought given to it. Not sure where that puts me on the DDA scale.
That is exactly what I have been trying to say all along. You are attractive to women because you are complimenting a woman because you want to, because it feels right. You are just letting it come out with no expectations of a reward.
I do think if you have a relationship with a woman and she dresses up for you on a date, you should compliment her. Just good manners like opening car doors.
Again, you aren't complimenting her to get her to like you or because you expect something. You are complimenting her because she put in a lot of effort to look good and she deserves it. That's awesome. Most guys can't do that. Not only that, you look at doing things for her as "just good manners" and not "some grande, rightious, act of selflessness."
Can you tell I am not a DDA disciple???
yeah I can tell. Either am I. But having read his stuff, I don't take it as gospel. And I wouldn't ever suggest you change your behavior. I don't think it is behavior that attracts women, but the attitude behind it.
Funny story, Most people would agree that playing video games is a geeky thing to do and generally not what a woman looks for in a mate. Yet one day I was at the mall (I hate it there), and saw this cute woman playing sonic at radio shack. Well godbless her she had NO skills. So I walked up to her said, "you're not doing that right at all." I took the controller from her and played the level.
Honestly, my friend I have never heard so many oooo's and awe's in under 2 minutes as I did schooling her at Sonic the hedge hog. I would've got her # if her bf wasn't in the store.
I guess my point is wether it's teaching a woman to play Sonic or opening a door for her, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Especially since it is fun and just good manners. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/3/2007 2:43:24 PM | | Hey paramount in responce to what you said about men complimenting women. I think it's ok as long as you DON'T OVERDO IT and if your doing it to get too like you. You will totally come off as a wussbag if you compliment a woman all the time. Everyone likes a compliment from time to time though even us guys. :-) | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:41:42 PM |
Hey paramount in responce to what you said about men complimenting women. I think it's ok as long as you DON'T OVERDO IT and if your doing it to get too like you
Thanks Ligonmaximus for your comment.
I agree constant comments are never a good thing. I usually say something like: "Hey, you look great." Doubt anyone wants to hear that all night long.
Come to think of it, hey you look great is kinda a tepid comment. Maybe I should say something more emphatic? Or engage the brain before the mouth.
But my compliments are not hollow, so I guess that is why they are always taken the right way. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 4/7/2007 11:15:39 AM | Funny thing this thread should come back up. I just got another E-mail from DDA this morning.
I'd be curious to read stories from people for whom his magical advice did *not* work, and not because the guy totally misread it and did all the wrong things. Call me a perverse whacko, but it'd be interesting to hear someone say "y'know, I tried that c0cky and funny routine and she threw a drink in my face."
It just all seems too good to be true, y'know? | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/4/2007 2:22:08 PM | His advice isn't "Do this do that". When he says, "Be c0cky and funny", he's trying to instill an ATTITUDE inside of you.
Men's problems comes from not being manly. Manly doesn't mean caveman, fat slob, or misogynist. It means being confident and flirtatious. A lot of guys aren't. And DYD is trying help guys get there.
It's not a matter of "Be c0cky and funny --> Get Laid like a rockstar". It's, "Be c0cky and funny --> Have a couple successes with women because you seem more attractive --> Feel more confident because of those successes --> Have more success!"
It's not a magic pill. Jeez. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:52:36 PM | | Some of his stuff is pretty decent but at the end of the day... it's a lot of work and, if you are like me,.... you start to get tired of doing different things and playing different games just to hook up with some female that you realize isn't worth your time anyway since she likes the "jerk like characteristics" over who you really are... whoever that might be. | |
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Lanx
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Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 394 | |
| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:21:30 AM |
Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. He even mentions meeting David Deangelo. Neil Strauss doesn't brainwash you and he even states in his book that it's just best to pick up a few things that work for you. But at the end of the book he says the only way to win the game is to leave the game.
A female friend recommended this book to me and that I read it simply as a story and I did, I would never use any of the tactics they describe in the book, it was a great book with a great story and if anything it did actually help raise my confidence level when it comes to approaching women in general. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/5/2007 10:45:12 AM | I've read some of his "free" articles. I find it to be rubbish. :)
Same with the interest levels that is found in the Player's Book on askmen.com. Of course if the interest level falls either partner will leave the relationship. Again the game that is played is bull.
Probably why men keep telling me I'm not like the other women. I read the crap they believe!!!  | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/5/2007 8:08:50 PM | ummm I don't think David Deangelo is going to make me more "dateable"...
No, he's just a Douche Bag...
I will give him credit though, because he's making a lot of money on the side. Damn... maybe I should quit writing fantasy novels and start writing "how to date" novels... Considering how all my co-workers believe I have mulitple girlfriends (yeah right, I don't even have one!), I think people would actually believe me! Too bad I'm not "douche" enough to do it. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/5/2007 8:29:37 PM | I've checked out some David DeAngelo materials. Nothing you have to buy, just the free newsletters he sends out. However, I found two MAJOR problems with them, which made me question the integrity of the book, as well as the integrity of DeAngelo himself.
1. He makes all women look like cold, calculating [w]itches. While I'm sure women like that are out there walking around at this very moment, but not *all* women are like that. There are plenty of nice, friendly women, both on this site and elsewhere. Maybe he's offering advice on dealing with the "hot and knows it" types, but reading his material (newsletters, in my case) almost makes pursuing attractive women not worth one's while. However, biological instincts take over, and well... you get the picture.
2. His testimonials are strikingly similar to the Jenny Craig/Trim Spa/LA Weight Loss type stuff. Basically, it all boils down to "I was a real dork, and never had a girlfriend, until I bought the 'Double Your Dating' book; then I became the next Hugh Hefner". In a nutshell, go instantly from dud to stud just by purchasing the damn book. It's no different that the weight loss pill manufacturers promising instant results. Learning pick-up skills takes work, just as losing weight does. There's no magic product.
On a philosophical note, maybe this is, in a way, a form of backlash against the feminist movement. Just as some radical feminists make men look like worthless pigs who are meant to be used and exploited, this DeAngelo guy makes women look like manipulative [w]itches, and teaches guys how to manipulate them back. I don't agree with doing either of these things, but this is America, and the First Amendment says we can. Oh well. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:03:38 PM | MEN:
~sparda9 : Note that the comments below are not aimed at ALL of the guys out there.
"...it's a lot of work..." --> True - No one ever said dating is easy. Note that this holds true for both sides of the line, women and men. You must be 100% committed to "the game"or you'll never be successful. The MAJORITY of the work in "the game" pertains to improvement in the following areas (inner skills): self worth, confidence, goals, direction in life, career, etc ...The more you improve in each of these areas, the easier your dating will be.
"...you start to get tired of doing different things and playing different games just to hook up with some female that you realize isn't worth your time anyway since she likes the "jerk like characteristics" over who you really are... whoever that might be." --> Why would you ever play games and change who you are as a person?! ... Don't ever change the way you are because of some "h0"! - Changing who you are/your beliefs, simply shows that you lack inner-confidence (inner-game), you don't know your path in life, you're insecure, and you're not pursuing what makes you happy (as a person). If you don't believe in yourself, how will you accomplish your goals in life? ... A woman should not be the sole reason that you are happy in life. Women come and go in a man's life (unless he's in a relationship) ... that's just the way it is.
C'mon everyone ... this is simple stuff ...
1) Being Up-Front and Direct with Others:
A) Men should always be up-front and direct with other people (not just girls).
B) Don't be "wishy-washy" in what you say to girls (or anyone for that matter). When you first meet someone, "lay all of your cards on the table," up-front. By "laying all of your cards on the table," you avoid any confusion or miscommunication between yourself and the other person ... They can either take what you have to offer or move on to the next person!"
i) Remember that a man can tell a person where he stands in life and what direction he is going.
C) There's no use in two people wasting each other's time if there's no interest between the two parties and/or one person wants to BS around. Why would a person want to waste their free time playing BS games with someone else? - This is middle school cr@p people ... Grow Up! ... Life is way too short to play BS games!
2) Direct vs In-Direct Approach:
A) If you act direct in your approach to another person, what kind of answer would you more than likely receive?
B) If you act in-direct/vague/wishy-washy/insecure in your approach to another person, what kind of answer would you more than likely receive?
-my 2 cents
Matt | |
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| Try Carlos Xuma
Posted: 7/6/2007 12:53:50 PM | here is a secret: his ebooks and audio files (and all other dating experts' material) can be downloaded for free if you know how to use p2p networks ...
How to do this? | |
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stixzz
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Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 400 | |
| Try Carlos Xuma
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:08:23 PM | Direct is the only way to go. Its best for whatever you want whether it is one night stands, long term relationships whatever.
Often time we might not expect something thats a bit of 'fun' to become more than that. And if its started on the basis of manipulative indirect nonsence then its gonna make your relationship a lot harder work. However with directness and honesty, there is no manipulation to undermine the relationship.
The game is the biggest lot of shit written.
I recommend mode one by alan currie and if you have no confidence approaching women directly then ranko magamis attract and date 8 cd set is the way to go. | |
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