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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 6:38:23 PM |
Analogue kid, it isn't about having power *over* someone
No shit...I just got through explaining that to the Sturgeon....because apprently that's the way he feels about it:
Those that are often the most adverse to others seeking improvement may do so because they loose power and their methods of manipulation may not work any longer.
You seem to think that being empowered - finding your own power whether it's in your interactions with women or elsewhere in life - means having power *over* someone. This simply is not true and is one of the big misunderstandings.
That's not how I think...in fact....you pretty much just reinforced everything I said before....I've read this book....DD caters to men who are VERY FAR from finding their true power...and teaches them how to "turn the tables" and use tactics to help them feel like they are winning a power struggle....there's a certain tone to that book that just screams "DO THIS TO ALWAYS HAVE THE UPPER HAND IN THE DATING GAME" it's bullshit.....
oh and Sturgeon....you wanna talk books...google Masterful-lover.com ...you will learn how to be a REAL man instead of an insecure man who uses DD tactics to feed your ego.... | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 6:57:26 PM | DD caters to men who don't know their elbow from a pile of sh1t. Why oh why do men waste money on his stuff?
If you want to be successful at dating, treat people nicely, develop some confidence in yourself, and have the same relaxed attitude around women that you have around the other people in your life -- your friends, your coworkers, your relatives.
If you are a real, genuine person, women will respond to that.
If you can't develop into one of those DD can't do it for you.
v v v v v v I was going to mention this before, but most women can recognize a DD idiot (i.e., a game player) in a New York minute. Women don't need a guy to "pull back" to realize they like him. It's just the opposite. If a man does that, she either thinks he's a jerk or just not interested, and she moves on to the next guy who acts like a normal human being.
Any woman who would be responsive to DD recommended behavior, would be as messed up as the man pursuing her -- and I guess they would deserve each other. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 6:59:46 PM |
That's not how I think...in fact....you pretty much just reinforced everything I said before....I've read this book....DD caters to men who are VERY FAR from finding their true power...and teaches them how to "turn the tables" and use tactics to help them feel like they are winning a power struggle
Dude, you miss the point. There no power struggle. When you engage in**** and funny, the secret is that you pull away and rather than acting like the typical dush bag, you pull back and stop doing what the other guys are doing. So women realize that if they like you, on their own terms, they start sending signals. It is, yes subliminal in communications, but what you achieve is absolutely mutual. There's no brainwashing, manipulation or forcing anybody of anything.
Actually if you read management training materials, another area where there are only a few naturals, and just "being yourself" is not going to work, you learn to communicate at a level in which you not only create win/win situations, but where everyone is passionate about the outcome. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 7:23:56 PM | Stupid people are always making broad assumptions of what others are doing! Especially when it obviously touches some nerve!
Things are not just black and white! One needs to look at the broad picture. Look at the divorce rate! Look at the stats I was talking about earlier about true fathers. Obviously, something within this society isn't working very well, and those of us smart enough and broad minded enough, are endeavoring to determine what is REALLY going on!
Women are attracted to powerful men. Powerful can mean, in a variety of ways! Even abusive ones, which just attests to this fact even more! It was Henry Kissinger who said that Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac!
It may also surprise and probably disgust some people to know that the same principles that govern a wolf or dog pack also hold true in relationships!
There is certainly truth that often this is about EGO! But that's not what these underlying facts are about! It's about understanding attraction as it has been hard wired into females! How a man chooses to use this information is another topic, whether for Ego gratification or otherwise. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 7:43:53 PM | DD is just another flavor of the "three day rule", and therefore is trying to teach you how to play games. No one can teach you how to be a genuine human being, that's something you have to do yourself. Hopefully you get better at it as you mature.
None of this touches a nerve with me. I've only been happily married (unfortunately widowed), and I'm not on the market having met a wonderful man a couple of years ago. It's not personal, but I find it amusing that some men follow "dating gurus" rather than just act like a normal human being.
It's not power that attracts women, it's self-confidence. There's a difference. While Henry Kissinger did attract a wife, he is hardly what anyone would consider a stud. It's a combination of features that will be attractive to women -- and the same ones won't universally be attractive to all.
What you describe above would do nothing other than totally turn me off -- or possibly make me burst out into uncontrollable laughing.
Before I met my boyfriend I went out with couple of men who'd obviously been studying DD. They were favors I did for girlfriends, or they wouldn't have even gotten that far with me. Needless to say, they didn't get a second date. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/19/2008 7:58:54 PM | If you could describe to me what a "Genuine" human being is, I'd offer you a million bucks, if I had it, because I suspect I wouldn't have to pay out! lol
On second thought, maybe a dead human is the only genuine human! For there, what you probably see is what you get! Beyond that, all bets are off!
And once again, all some of you simple minded ones keep getting back to is this aspect about pick-up lines! Of course, that's about as stupid as a short and bald guy wearing elevator shoes and a hair piece to a date! lol
As some of us have tried to point out, there is more to it than that!
But, I give up! Is there not a Blue Faced Icon somewhere? | |
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eazk
| Joined: 9/8/2006 Msg: 682 | |
| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 6:44:43 AM |
oh and Sturgeon....you wanna talk books...google Masterful-lover.com ...you will learn how to be a REAL man instead of an insecure man who uses DD tactics to feed your ego....
Interesting, this guy (masterful-lover.com) is a supporter of DD and has been featured on DD's interview series. Don't be so quick to trash one over another. It's all info, it's up to you what you do productive with it.
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 1:44:18 PM | The big difference between DD and the masterful lover materials is the fact that they reinforce the need to connect with a woman on ALL levels in order to truely satisfy her....that's the only way you can build respect....
Yes...you need to be playful & confident...but you also need to share your fears and vulnerabilities when the time is right....there's a fine balance that we ALL need to have...men and women alike.....
there's a chapter in the masterful lover manual called "Be the Man" that's beautifully written....it caters to HONEST men who genuinely want to please women...as opposed to DD's stuff that caters to lost men who base their self worth on how many women give them approval....even though DD tells you not to seek approval...his actions contradict his words...any man who feels he needs to date multiple women at once is seeking approval....
DD is selling a "quick fix" product...to men who aren't even close to having their shit together...but I guess that's what sells today... | |
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Durken
| Joined: 5/8/2008 Msg: 684 | |
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eazk
| Joined: 9/8/2006 Msg: 685 | |
| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 2:45:36 PM |
The big difference between DD and the masterful lover materials You meant "the big similarity between...", didn't you? If not, I'm not sure where you're getting your info. DD isn't selling a quick-fix product. It's not NLP stuff...it's not Mystery's PUA stuff...it's not Brent's Time-Saver stuff...nor Stephane's attitude stuff.
That said, once you get your head around the material...and that can take some time and introspection...then suddenly things snap into focus and yes, it appears as if it was a quick fix. DD is not out selling a batch of pick up lines and techniques...he does demonstrate how almost any line or approach will work if the underlying work has been done and you are the person worth pursuing. I've picked up girls reading a****ail napkin...it ain't the line, it ain't the situation...it's the person.
And David Shade (M-L.com) is dead in step with DD on this stuff...including everything you cited above. So quit trying to make it sound like your guru is the smartest one. They've all got value propositions. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 2:58:43 PM | | I HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF EMAILS FROM JERKS. NO.... I DON'T LIKE THEM.... HOW CAN ANYONE EXPECT A RESPONSE, IF YOU INSULT THE PERSON FIRST? LEAVE THE JERK FOR THE "OTHER GIRLS" !!!!!!ME... I PREFER THE GENTLEMEN ALWAYS!!!!!!!! | |
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IQF
| Joined: 6/7/2008 Msg: 687 | |
| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 3:28:00 PM |
I'm floored that there's 28 pages about learning how to date on here , do you all really have it this hard?
Rest assured, there's no more than 1 page of original thought here. They just go around... and around... and around...
P.S. My guru can beat up your guru.  | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/20/2008 3:31:38 PM | Under normal circumstances, I never read these forums on dating sites. I saw the DD question and am familiar with his work and a few other dating books like "The Game".
The fact of the matter is that dating and relationships is a HUGE topic of interest in both sexes. However, women talk and learn about dating dos and don'ts from almost every direction including books like "The rules" or "He's just not that into you", magazines like Cosmopolitan, TV shows, movies, and constant dating advice in every way possible. They will discuss at length every minute of an interaction with their friends to find out what things "Mean".
Men, on the other hand, cringe at the very thought that they don't know everything there is to know about dating and relationships. Why? Because their ego's can't handle the possibility that they don't know what they are doing. To even touch on the subject violates them to the core for not being "The man" when it comes to women. A man that has not had a date in 2 years will be the first to spout "Advice" on how to meet women. Is it so bad to drop your ego and ask how someone else had success? What is the harm of reading a book and maybe learning something new?
Ironically, none of us would be here if we had the dating relationships that we wanted. So 95% of the advice here is simply denial or the blind leading the blind. It is like asking someone that has been married for 15 years about dating. They have not dated in over 16 years. They have no idea. Talk to them about being married. Talk to a person that has been single for 10 years about dating.
The fact is that many of these books focus on how to develop confidence and communicate who you really are. Several books take ideas from people like Tony Robbins and David Dieda to truly develop that confidence and understanding of the opposite sex. They also focus on developing the basic traits that women find attractive like decisiveness, proper grooming, body language, and social charisma. Is there talk about getting women? Yes. I did not realize that so many men would be offended by the idea of sex with women. It is not simply "Being yourself", but how you communicate that to other people. Without being able to communicate it well, you can "Be yourself" by yourself for a long time.
The last point to be made is that women are not attracted to "Jerks". This is simply a negative and spiteful reaction to not understanding the situation and jealousy. The truth is that women are attracted to a masculine and dominant man. This does not mean dangerous or angry, but more of an in charge and leadership type of quality. Women will call from the hills for a "Real man". When one steps up and shows that they deserve to be the center of a woman's attraction, then lesser wimpy men call strong men "Jerks". This is the true heart of the hardwired attraction between men and women. All male archetypes have a strength, dominance, and confidence that attracts women. Some people misunderstand this as "Jerky" behavior and a man can have dominance AND be a "Jerk" at the same time. Women are not attracted to the "Jerk" part. The lesser people tend to be sitting on the sideline as the dominant male leaves with his pick of the women. This has little to do with money, looks, cars, or any other trapping of modern society. Just ask the average starving artist with 4 girlfriends about how he takes women out on the bus. Are women falling for his car or money?
Since I have begun reading these books and working on myself, I have dramatically increased the number of women in my life. It has helped me with recovering from a divorce. It has also helped me understand all people better especially women. I have seen a dramatic positive change in my life from it. I would recommend it to anyone.
Good luck with your fishing... | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/21/2008 8:07:56 AM | Okay, I'm going to concede one point here: It really *does* come back to being yourself, in the end. But hear me out.
When I started dating at the advanced age of 50+, I had no idea where to start. Every time I met a new guy I was anxious & nervous. With time it got a little easier but, quite frankly, it was boring. On top of it, I knew *I* was being boring and let me tell you, I am *not* a boring person! It was not fun. Then a college student friend started telling me about DDA. This guy was great. I loved watching him interact with people. I would argue with him about some of the things he said but I also listened to him & watched how he interacted with people. He was impressive. He gave me Double Your Dating to read. I didn't like the tone but I had to admit there were some very good points. Through DDA I found Christian Carter and started listening to some of his material. I found it insightful and inspiring. Little by little, I started practicing some of the things I was learning. It wasn't that difficult and it didn't take that long. The results were that I pretty quickly turned around my attitude about dating. I was finally able to let out the fun & playful person I was all along. I also stopped doing some of the things that I'd come to realize were a real turn-off for many guys.
You learn these things and make them your own. When you are confident, when you are playful, your real self has the freedom to come out. I feel *liberated* by this. I now feel at ease when I meet new guys. I feel comfortable about being myself because I feel confident. I know I'm an interesting and fun person and I feel at ease enough to let that out. I also know I'm not going to make some of the mistakes I've made in the past because I know better and that adds to my confidence. There are things I now understand about the dynamics between men & women and, understanding those things, it allows me to be at ease with myself and the other person and proceed without anxiety.
So, in the end, it *is* about being yourself because you can't sustain attraction by being phony. Being someone or something you aren't would be exhausting and wouldn't work for long. However, don't assume that the way you are right now is the only way you can be. It isn't. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/21/2008 8:38:56 AM | Ridiculous Thinking!
Anything I do, is me! I act decidedly different in the company of my Mother, Sister, Customers, Boss Etc. So what is the REAL me? lol
Unless I am in a coma, I'm not the same person when I go to bed as the one I was when I got out of bed! We grow, we change, we adapt, we learn!
I've said ALL this before!
What your saying is you have reasons and justifications for improving yourself and that's being yourself but when men do it, it's phony!
Typical female logic, if you ask me!
OK. let's hear it, your final word on the matter! | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/21/2008 8:57:41 AM | Guess that's the difference. I'm exactly the same person with my mother, relatives, customers and boyfriend. I'm me. There's only ONE version.
Having more than one version of yourself is like telling more than one version of the truth.
There's only one truth and only one you.
If you need to improve your social skills, that's always a good thing to do. However, adhereing to dating "rules" administered by self-proclaimed dating gurus is a waste of time.
Dating is no different than any other life experience. The more empowered you are, the more you feel you can rely on your gut, the more you can make snap decisions based on the situation you are presented, the better you will do. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/21/2008 12:03:09 PM |
What your saying is you have reasons and justifications for improving yourself and that's being yourself but when men do it, it's phony!
Typical female logic, if you ask me!
OK. let's hear it, your final word on the matter! Wow, you really missed the point. I *never* said men improving themselves is phony. If you've been reading my posts, I'm a big fan of DDA and wish more men would learn this stuff. I am in *support* of self improvement. I am in *support* of people growing & changing & paying attention to what works.
I will disagree that however you behave, that's you and not phony. I hardly know a person who won't admit there haven't been times when they behave in a way that is not true to themselves. People do it all the time, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for not very good reasons. You can't sustain being fake for very long. However, when you try new behavior it can feel unnatural at first. It can take effort.
Whatever, I'm not sure why I'm bothering with this. But really, you completely misunderstood me. I don't get the feeling you want to understand, though, so no point arguing. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/22/2008 3:05:32 AM |
lvnvcutie wrote: I HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF EMAILS FROM JERKS. NO.... I DON'T LIKE THEM.... HOW CAN ANYONE EXPECT A RESPONSE, IF YOU INSULT THE PERSON FIRST? LEAVE THE JERK FOR THE "OTHER GIRLS" !!!!!!ME... I PREFER THE GENTLEMEN ALWAYS!!!!!!!! Ovid, a Roman poet, put it best 2000 years ago: "A thousand women, a thousand devices (needed to attract them)". As far as I know, he was the first published seduction guru and his book "Ars Amatoria" ("The Art of Love") has 2 sections for men and 1 for women. Nowadays, a guy is more likely to pick up a woman at a NASCAR event than at a chariot race, but a lot of what Ovid wrote still holds true today. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/23/2008 10:15:54 AM | I am at work. Right now. Shop is open, some old Sam Cooke Lp playing.....
Four women just were here:
all of them were average. I wasn't struck with their beauty, but wasn't turned off. All four of them were probably nice gals. Maybe if I tried to talk to one of them, or all of them, maybe...one or more would be intrigued. Maybe they would come back, talk to me some more at another time.
a guy about their age came in. he's asking me for a cigarette "just one man, help me out" he seems to forget I help him out all the time. I tell him I really can't afford to give any out today. Which is a true statement.
I ring up the pack of girls for their body-jewerly pruchase, and as I am starting to ask the girls what they are up to.....
guy jumps in with some dumb routine "hey which one of girls is going to help me out? I really need a cigarette, or one of your numbers."
They all giggle. GIGGLE! One girl offers him a cigarette, another gives him her telephone number. He leaves the shop.
I give the one girl her change, deflated, dumbstruck, and paralyzed. The girls all talk about how cute he is. How attractive he is, and how cool he is. The guy is unemployed, bums cigarettes off everyone who will give, and doesn't have a job. Even the one girl who gave him her number even says "I hope he calls me" with anticipation.
This guy has a freak show of good genetics on attraction.
I can tell you for a fact, if I had done the same thing, I would have had the girls all giving me the "smelling onion face"
you have to born with it. case. match. set. point. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/23/2008 10:57:12 AM |
I am at work. Right now. Shop is open, some old Sam Cooke Lp playing.....
Four women just were here:
all of them were average. I wasn't struck with their beauty, but wasn't turned off. All four of them were probably nice gals. Maybe if I tried to talk to one of them, or all of them, maybe...one or more would be intrigued. Maybe they would come back, talk to me some more at another time.
a guy about their age came in. he's asking me for a cigarette "just one man, help me out" he seems to forget I help him out all the time. I tell him I really can't afford to give any out today. Which is a true statement.
I ring up the pack of girls for their bidy-jewerly pruchase, and as I am starting to ask the girls what they are up to.....
guy jumps in with some dumb routine "hey which one of girls is going to help me out? I really need a cigarette, or one of your numbers."
They all giggle. GIGGLE! One girl offers him a cigarette, another gives him her telephone number. He leaves the shop.
I give the one girl her change, deflated, dumbstruck, and paralyzed. The girls all talk about how cute he is. How attractive he is, and how cool he is. The guy is unemployed, bums cigarettes off everyone who will give, and doesn't have a job. Even the one girl who gave him her number even says "I hope he calls me" with anticipation.
This has a freak show of good genetics on attraction.
I can tell you for a fact, if I had done the same thing, I would have had the girls all giving me the "smelling onion face"
you have to born with it. case. match. set. point.
That explains everything right there. You never even tried. You never even gave it a shot. Had you spoke up, you would have had, at least, the odds in your favor. Even the worst hitter on any team has a chance to hit a home run simply because he take his turn at bat. It was your turn, and you passed it to the next guy. Wow! And to top it all off, these where women that you didn't even think were that cute. I could understand if you were intimidated by their beauty. But, you weren't. You just didn't try. That explains everything right there.
As long as you think that way, you will always be behind the "dating" curve.
Lateef | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/23/2008 2:36:02 PM | I tell ya this thread continues to make for an interesting read. I don't know about all you, but the subject of how attraction works between men and women is flat-out interesting.
Retroframe: You're incorrect! Men are not born learning how to attract women. They learn how to attract women based what they learn or whom they mirror from the environment around them. There are plenty of average looking or ugly guys who have some serious game. Am I one of them? Not all whatsoever! lol But I do know quite a bit about how attraction works between men and women based on life experience and reading several books. I do know what you mean though! It doesn't seem fair that some dumb routine works more often than not on women? From my experience, I have learned that life is not fair and that is just the way it is. Often what should work logically does not and what should not work logically does. For example, you have "nice" guy and "nice" girl and logic tells us that she should get together right? Logic would tell us that is "nice" guy meets nice girl for a date that the "nice" guy should win her over by being kind, respectful, attend to her needs, and be able to talk too her like a friend. WRONG in many cases! Any "nice" guy who has had experience in the dating world knows that displaying approval seeking behavior and generally BEING BORING on dates usually does not work. Heck for that matter, being boring online does not work! lol Look at my profile it is as boring as a bunch of rocks and I know it. lol
One thing I have learned over the years, is that if you're boring around women you are usually either put into the creepy guy category or the friends category. As men should be have to drive a Harley and take women out skydiving and be the most exciting adventurous men of all time? NO we should not...... However, that is JUST the way it is. Women for the most part must feel comfortable, inspired, excited, and most importantly laugh when they are around men. Is it fair that some guy who know for a fact is total jerk who you know for a fact physically abused his ex-wife is able to attract women so easily by making them laugh and displaying high masculine confidence? NO it isn't fair, but that is the way it JUST is. Is it fair that a guy can use humor that you might have used once or twice in Middle School to pick up women in their 30's and 40's? No it is not fair, but that is the way it is. Was it fair that the cute California girls picked up all gang bangers at the clubs and ignored the few "nice" guys who were Marines? No it was not, but that was just the way it was. Women are wonderful and they can't help how their attraction works towards men. Women can't help that humor works so well on them. Based on observations over the years laughter does two things:
1. Creates rapport with both men/women in turn developing comfort and trust faster (i.e. gets you out of the creepy guy category faster) This is why most naturals know that the faster they can make women laugh and with consistency the quicker they will gain favor.
2. Laughter/Humor provides instant stress management/relief for women. In our modern society both men and women are bombarded by negative stressors and laughter helps to instantly relieve stressors. It's true that there are some men and women who do not like to laugh, but they are few and far between. Laughter is especially effective in the working environment!
For men are who are not naturals (myself included) with women. We have to stop crying and being negative about life not being fair and either adjust/adapt to modern dating world or we will continuously fail at dating and sometimes life in general. Ideally, all of the dating stuff really does not matter as long as you are happy being single and enjoy you're life that is what really matters in my opinion.
As far as some of the people who continuously criticize David DeAngelo's programs they do not have much basis for doing so. Simply for the fact, they have not gone through or read the majority of his programs. First, go through all of his programs then criticize. But to criticize before reading all of his materials does the author injustice. If the academic world was to criticize his programs most scholars would find that his arguments are well researched and well backed up by a multitude of factual evidence. However, I do respect the counterargument/rebuttals and the people who are writing them against David Deangelo's teachings.
Check out some of my earlier postings Retro if you want to learn more. I think any topic on dating/relationships is interesting in general. Probably why several dating/relationship books have made the New York Times best seller lists. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/23/2008 4:54:28 PM | thank you, thank you for stating the obvious......
I took DeAngelos semimar back in 2000. As you can see I am not dating HOT women, I am not sleeping with HOT women, and when I do talk to a HOT woman I get the smelling onion face.
Even the average and downright unattractive ones give me the smelling onions look when I do try.
I have said life is not fair, and I do know that. I just am telling people it's a scam, and it's usuary. I watched how people use the "game" so to speak at bars, coffee shops, and here in shop I work in.
It's rehearsed, and I have heard five or six different guys use the same canned line in the span of a few days. Yeah.....
I guess in the end it's just the injustice of it all for me. I did the right things, and well I am rewarded with being single (education, travel, different jobs, not making babies, hard working).
Born with it, or you're just standing there. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/23/2008 6:00:27 PM | I am sure if the girl is drunk enough this might work, but hey if she is drunk enough then no worries right, she'll love ANYTHING you say... "can I have another quad tequila shot please?"
Thanks to the last poster, listen up fella's this stuff is a scam and any intelligent girl will give any guy who tries this the "smelling onions look". It is a dimestore act that is so obvious to us women it's a joke. But hey, it's your dime! | |
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