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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 1:19:36 PM | Arwen, your post was a breath of fresh air, thank you for this. It's nice to read once in a while an informed opinion from a woman instead of the common uninformed emotional knee-jerk reactions. Your story about the encounter with a skillful venusian artist illustrates how a smooth seduction feels like from the point of view of the woman experiencing it: enjoyable, not pressuring, sincere, exciting. Keep spreading the love and helping guys become better men.  | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 2:14:35 PM |
Your story about the encounter with a skillful venusian artist illustrates how a smooth seduction feels like from the point of view of the woman experiencing it: enjoyable, not pressuring, sincere, exciting.
How sincere was it? Did he follow up for more? Notice how she said she knew what he was up to....
From where I stand, a man with integrity doesn't need to know how to smooth talk a woman into sex...as a truely masterful lover it's simply your job to pick up on the woman's body language and lead her through an experience you already know she wants even more than you...
A man with integrity also knows that she can never take you seriously if you sleep with her on the first date or if your sole intention is just to sleep with her...the true master will build trust and respect in order to give her experiences she's never dreamed possible...he also knows that he can never even scratch the surface of what's possible with only one encounter | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 2:59:15 PM | How sincere was it? Did he follow up for more?
Maybe he did, maybe he didn't; what does this have to do with sincerity ? He didn't promise anything more than he could and wanted to offer, whatever that was.
Why does always have to be a follow up anyway to make it worth it ? If we meet once and I give you a delicious chocolate, do you expect such a gift to all our subsequent meetings ? If I don't do it again, does it cancel the value of the first gift ? If you believe so, that's your problem of dealing with imaginary expectations, not mine.
Notice how she said she knew what he was up to....
You totally missed the point. She chose to go with it despite knowing he was gaming her, in contrast to "common sense" which would want her to be turned off and run away. Besides, she knew only because she had read about it before; otherwise it would just feel like an erotic fantasy come true. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:01:36 PM | Very nice awren52 (sic?) -- I think what you said about you not liking the tone hit the nail right on its head. Women want and rightfully demand respect by default, and they want a guy to like -them-, not just their genitals -- even IF they know that it's probably going to be just a fling. Hence, women will say "I dont like guys who want just one thing", and at the same time, be open for a fling. The TONE of such pick-up/seduction literature is what women don't like... and also the fact that it's a schematic of how to whisk a girl off her feet. If whisking a gal off her feet doesn't include an LTR as the sole intention or a true-blue crush, pampering her with gifts and adoration, then many will scoff at the notion and think it's manipulation.
I saw a previous post by someone saying that men are responsible for a woman's emotions? Huh? No. I think though, that that line of thinking is actually anti-woman, and touches on why many women do not like pick-up advice. When it boils down to it, some people think that women are intellectually vulnerable beings, and in a sense, like pets or children when compared to guys. For 90% of the cases, they may be physically more vulnerable, but call me a feminist here, I think women are 100% just as intellectually/emotionally responsible as men.
Some gals (and guys) think that women are more mentally vulnerable than men, hence, it's a guy's fault if he's too charming which results in a woman willing to have sex "too early" and then regrets it. It's much like the Michigan law of date-raping which they inform students of at some colleges. If a girl has been drinking, she sleeps with a guy, and she regrets it the next day and knows she wouldn't have done that sober, it's in the realm of date rape. The guy could have been completely wasted while she had a buzz at best driving him back to his place, doesn't matter. Vice versa? Nope, girl did nothing wrong. It totally demeans situations where real date rape occurs by watering it down like that. Why is it watered down like that? The "girls are pets" mentality taken too far.
If it HAD to take a guy to truly trick & manipulate in order to result in a situation where a woman cryies out "I slept with this guy and 'poof' he's gone! He used me!", then such things would not be heard very often. If it had to take a magical seducer, it'd just be a rare campfire story -- one in which that you MIGHT know somebody who knew somebody it happened to. If being outwardly charming and giving it your 'A game' to a lady when you don't see her as a 10, but you only have mild interest, is defined as manipulation, then by that twisted definition, everyone would be a manipulator in some facet of life.
In the book 'The Game', the author says that you don't lie about things. When you're in bed with a gal, you let her know you're not looking for a relationship or exclusivity. But I still don't understand the foolish viewpoint that by default, if a guy is going to be charming to a gal and move things along, that by default, it means he's looking for a relationship with her. No, it just means they're interested in talking and find you attractive. That could mean anything -- which is why some girls ASK what they're looking for. And those that don't and run off to his place after the bar? I would assume she's into just a one-nighter just as much as he would be (even though it may not necessarily be for just one night!). | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:41:02 PM |
How sincere was it? Did he follow up for more? Notice how she said she knew what he was up to....
From where I stand, a man with integrity doesn't need to know how to smooth talk a woman into sex...as a truely masterful lover it's simply your job to pick up on the woman's body language and lead her through an experience you already know she wants even more than you...
A man with integrity also knows that she can never take you seriously if you sleep with her on the first date or if your sole intention is just to sleep with her...the true master will build trust and respect in order to give her experiences she's never dreamed possible...he also knows that he can never even scratch the surface of what's possible with only one encounter
Thank you, Vanders Mark.....
I, am older, and can spot a "seducer" from across a crowded room. Depending what kind of mood I'm in, I'll either tell him to go fly a kite, or play along for a while, just to convince myself that I'm on the right track. This doesn't guarantee that I'm on the right track, but I trust my gut, and go with that.
You totally missed the point. She chose to go with it despite knowing he was gaming her, in contrast to "common sense" which would want her to be turned off and run away. Besides, she knew only because she had read about it before; otherwise it would just feel like an erotic fantasy come true.
What makes you think that arwen only knew, because she had read about it? The older we get, the more we've been hit on (for the most part), and the more we know when it's going to happen.
The important part for me, is that I'm going into the situation knowing exactly what is happening, and not being "led astray". | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/9/2009 9:10:45 PM |
Why does always have to be a follow up anyway to make it worth it ?
That just illustrates the fact that we're on two different levels...there are plenty of boys AND GIRLS who are perfectly content with having a one night fling....
One day you'll wake up and realize you had no idea what you were missing...
Women need an emotional connection to reach their almost unlimited sexual potential...why would I settle with giving her the same old same old weak clitoral orgasm in a one nighter...when the potential is there for her to have MANY mind blowing vaginal orgasms.....
All it takes is building an emotional connection...
The choice is yours...you can run around having mediocre sex with a bunch of young girls until your johnson falls off....or you can cultivate a connection with ONE woman until you turn her into your raving sex addict who chases YOU for sex...seems like a no brainer to me.... | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 4:33:22 AM | All it takes is building an emotional connection...
An emotional connection can be built within hours, not weeks and months, by someone who cuts through all the dating ritual BS.
My point is not that one-nighters are better than many-nighters or vice versa. My point is that they both start the same way. I can have sex with a woman within 10 hours of meeting her and still decide to stick around for the next several months or years. Seduction (the dance from stranger to lover) works the same. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:02:16 AM |
An emotional connection can be built within hours, not weeks and months, by someone who cuts through all the dating ritual BS.
My point is not that one-nighters are better than many-nighters or vice versa. My point is that they both start the same way. I can have sex with a woman within 10 hours of meeting her and still decide to stick around for the next several months or years. Seduction (the dance from stranger to lover) works the same.
I think Vanders Mark was talking about the quality of the sex being better after waiting for a bit to have sex.
I don't believe he was referring to how long the relationship was going to last.
The more "connected" I am to my partner, the better the sex is.....and it takes longer than knowing them 10 hours to happen. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:14:34 AM |
I think Vanders Mark was talking about the quality of the sex being better after waiting for a bit to have sex.
I don't believe he was referring to how long the relationship was going to last.
The more "connected" I am to my partner, the better the sex is.....and it takes longer than knowing them 10 hours to happen.
I'm not arguing about that; the more connected two people feel the better the sex. But then again I don't expect the first time I'll have sex with someone will be the best ever. Practice makes perfect  "Taking it slow" so that we first reach the peak of our connection and then have sex for the first time is a bad strategy; it's more likely to end up in the friend zone black hole by then. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:28:38 PM |
"Taking it slow" so that we first reach the peak of our connection and then have sex for the first time is a bad strategy; it's more likely to end up in the friend zone black hole by then.
I agree. "Taking it slow" on purpose rarely leads to a tride-and-true relationship, and many times results in frustration if one of the parties actually digs the other. The take-it-slow approach is applied a lot, so yes, there will always be stories how "that worked just fine". But (a) it happens all too often, and (b) the problem is when it's done on purpose. What happens when a gal wants to "take it slow", a lot of time ensues where there is no strong connection (yet). Usually during this time, she finds another guy that she jumps for and runs off with -- and it isn't "bad", because, hey, she was just taking it slow with the first one. Taking it slow on purpose means "I'm not interested enough to go at a normalized pace". Of course "slow" is a relative term, but I don't just mean "not fast", I'm referring to genuinely slow.
I agree, too, that yes, there are both men AND women who at certain points or phases of their life fancy a one-nighter or pretty-much-just-about-sex. And for both women AND men, an emotional connection allows them to have sex "full circle", ie making love... but it's a myth that most normal women at all times are ONLY into making love... hence, that mythology is used to "explain" why if a guy and girl meet up and have sex, and the guy's intentions wasn't to develop a relationship of love, he had to be conning her (because allegedly women are never supposed to like a pretty-much-just-sex situation unless she pre-emptively advertises it on a billboard). | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:03:13 PM |
but it's a myth that most normal women at all times are ONLY into making love... hence, that mythology is used to "explain" why if a guy and girl meet up and have sex, and the guy's intentions wasn't to develop a relationship of love, he had to be conning her (because allegedly women are never supposed to like a pretty-much-just-sex situation unless she pre-emptively advertises it on a billboard).
Women are hardwired differently than men...I can see what you're saying, but I don't agree with it.
Women think with their heart.....men, think with their heads......more the smaller one, than the bigger one.
As a woman, I know that when I was less experienced, that when a man showed interest in me, I believed that he was interested in ME.
In my case, that's how it worked.....even if sex happened early on. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:46:17 PM | Quazi,
Women are hardwired differently than men...I can see what you're saying, but I don't agree with it. Women think with their heart.....men, think with their heads......more the smaller one, than the bigger one.
Women tend to be hardwired differently than men, yes, but I disagree with you... not in such a way that fits the stereotypical mold I point out, tho. I take it that you agree with what I see as a myth (my prev post quoted), right? I think it's not like that at all -- and I think that's where we disagree. I think women are more emotional than guys, but whether you're looking for an LTR or are in the mood/phase to be willing to "hook up" if a good opportunity presents itself -- both are emotional.
I've dated several women... or better put, interacted with many women in the dating 'scene'... (I don't suppose you have) and I agree that the "proper aim" for many women is to be into "making love only" and are "all emotion", and society aims for that, and many follow-through with it somewhat, but overall -- it's a stereotype and not quite true. It fits some women, don't get me wrong. It's like the stereotype that women want Mr Nice Guy, when they really don't (doesn't mean they like Mr. Jerk), although, yes, there is a section of women who DO want Mr. Nice Guy, and far more who claim they do, but in the end, "Why don't I ever end up with one?".
A recent study determined that when it comes to the opposite sex, both men & women are into: #1 looks, #2 status. You'd think status wouldn't make the top 2 for men, and looks wouldn't be #1 for women .... but what people SAY they want often times differ from what they want. Many studies have shot down "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", and I agree from my experience, interacting with different type so of women at different ages, the classic drummed up men-women differences are greatly exaggerated.
I'm sure you do make the classic women in the stereotype, and there are definitely men who fit the guy stereotype. But it's not 95% like that for everyone.
IMO, What women want when it comes to a guy is some trust, comfort being around him, good self-image, and respect. Some will feel this very quickly upon meeting a guy. That doesn't mean "you must be chasing me for a relationship if we do anything". But no, not all women are not looking for a white-picket-fence or relationship with a decent guy they meet, and not all of those are on a strict "sex only if relationship is promised; and if there's sex, there must be a relationship, otherwise you used me." There are women like that, but I know for a fact through experience not all women are like that at all (just read some profiles on here!) | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:53:48 AM | | I don't think there's any book in the world that can change anybody's actions. To attract a woman is god gifted. if you want to attract her on money, then its useless since you ll have to spend lots of money on her making you a bankrupt. n after the money is gone, she ll be gone too. attract her on the basis of your education n intelligence. be mature , be a man! she is yours forever..trust me! | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:10:13 PM | | women don't want 'nice guys' we want a guy who is nice to us in a way that makes us feel special. We want a MAN who has self respect, the respect of his peers and who is masculine. We want to be the only one that the man opens up to in a romantic and attentive and gentle way. We want a man to be 'decent' and honest and generous towards others... but not a wimpy push-over who lacks the balls to be a 'man' and is too nice. Too nice is not the same as very nice... it's hard to describe, but too nice ends up not being nice at all- quite often under the surface of a 'too nice' guy is a lot of frustration, which can errupt in unpleasant moments... or the too nice guy just is acting like he's afraid of being a man. It's not easy for men to be men in the current UK culture. | |
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| David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:26:45 PM | Well,
Also add to the mix that many times a guy can be accused, tried and convicted in popular opinion of being a rapist, harraser, ect by a woman uttering a single word, some men just go to the extreme to protect themselves by being "too nice"
In the US the Duke LaCrosee players were accused of raping that woman. It was PROVEN that she made everything up. Still most people still call them rapists.
Before meeting my girlfriend I stopped caring what a woman thought, so started saying what was on my mind, telling a woman at a bar "You are a big girl, buy your own drink" and I got a few women asking me for my number. I found it is more the vibe that is given off when a guy isn't worried to death about a woman rejecting him, thinking he is an idiot, ect.
Anyway my take on it. | |
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