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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
 Desi1955

Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 51
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:31:00 AM

For those of us of "an advanced age," let's be friggin' realistic here, y'all! I've reached a point in my already long-enough life where I'm comfortable with where I am, who I am, etc. Am I on the verge of embarking on yet another long, tedious, seemingly-perpetual voyage of self-discovery, self-fulfillment, self-improvement? Not bloody likely!


I see this way too often in middle aged men. They are basically done with life and coasting downhill. When we stop growing, we start dying. I feel like my life is just getting to full-speed; I've got at least another 20-30 years of productive life left. Why would I tie myself to someone sitting on the sofa waiting for the grim reaper?
 wholesomeheart

Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 52
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:25:59 PM

They are basically done with life and coasting downhill.

I busted balls for decades and did all the corporate ladder climbing too young I guess. Maybe we refer to 'coasting' differently. Maybe it's putting our energies into things of a more relaxing nature than a dog eat dog type environment. The hustle bustle manages to keep many so busy that THEY are the ones who are having life pass them by, not the 'coasters' per se.
 Chocolatebrowne

Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 53
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:43:23 PM
Improve yourself for you, because in the end, all you really have and control is yourself. If a partner digs it, it's icing on the cake!
 poly_1der

Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 54
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:42:41 AM
I think working on self improvement will improve my chances of happiness, whether or not I find a date.

As far as the second half of your question, "Or do you believe in fate or karma...", that's an entirely different question. I believe in self improvment AND believe that there really IS someone for everyone, without everyone needing to adhere to the same value system in order to find a life-long mate.

Passionate Poly
 bonniebrownap

Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 55
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:56:00 AM
I mature each day. I learn as I go along. I get better with age. I have faith that one day a man will fit into my wonderful life and I will fit into his. I do not seek to fix me, I am not broke. I'm more astute to find someone that fits with me on a day to day basis. The fun and frolic is easy. It is the day to day co-habitation that makes us a match. If I stay focused on this, I do believe that I will be successful in love.
 toyo2960

Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 56
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:54:48 AM
Life is about self-improvement. As a Buddhist, I believe that we all can be a better person. I don't mean we have to exactly drop a few pounds, or go in for a face lift, those are superficial stuff. Unless such things as exercise and eating better improves our health. I do believe that we should all stop smoking.
But we have an opportunity to keep learning. To be more understanding. (Tolerance is such a negative word). To be more enlightened.
We need to keep our minds clear and active. We have to abandon prejudice and ignorance.
If it means that this year you make it a point to smile at people you meet on the street or in your daily life, you have improved yourself. And made the world a better place. How it will help you find a mate is inconsequential. When it happens, it will happen.
Though if you are fat, lazy, angry, out of work slob you are most likely will have a hard time finding your soul mate, unless he or she shares your "lust" for life. Good luck.
 simplelady66

Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 57
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Do you think working on yourself/improving yourself will improve your chance of finding a mate?
Posted: 1/10/2008 4:19:02 AM
I don't work on myself for anyone but me. If it makes a future relationship all that much better because of what I have learned, than that is just a bonus.

I am a better person than I was 5 years ago because of what I have learned about myself. I expect I will be an even better person in another 5 years.

Someone out there will appreciate that and see it for what it is.
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