| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/13/2004 7:38:08 PM | See... that is just great right there. That is what every girl wants and looks for. A relationship that doesn't fade out over time. I can't actually talk for every girl... so I retract the first comment but I know I personally want a romance that will last forever. ;-)
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/13/2004 9:24:17 PM | | Chelle my dear...I have no disagreements with you tongiht!!! Wonderfully said and I do believe I am rubbin' off on you! LOL ;) No...seriously though....you took the words right out of my mouth because I feel the exact same way. | |
|
| |
| |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 3:08:07 AM | Well, in our Asian culture, there are lots of things our guys should learn from the Westerners. Most never open car doors! You will be glad they don't drive off before you are inside the car.. I guess we are seeing a younger generation who are learning to open car doors now, doing little things like sending flowers to celebrate birthdays, anniversary..
| |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 12:33:54 PM | Wow... that would totally bite. I guess a bunch of us girls are just decidin to put our foot down... I don't know about anyone else... but I believe dating gives us a hint of what we would be gettin ourselves into... the longer you date, the more you know... so... I believe it will be awhile before I finally settle down. :-D
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 2:31:34 PM | | As you can I am far from being good looking, but I do believe in being a gentleman, saying please and thank you, singing love songs, reading and writing poetry. I think that with romance, the package is complete, gazing into a woman;s soul not at her body is the true essence of romance | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 3:24:39 PM | | We still exisit but most certainly are on the extinction list... You gal's just never notice us for all the loud mouth jerks promising the world and delievering nothing. You have to look beyond them to see us, I assure we are out there. Don't be fooled a man who is a Gentlemen is not a sign of weakness but rather a strenght the jerks of the world can never obtain. For example: I can be polite even when I'm taking the jerk outside to kick his A$$. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 4:36:09 PM | You guys are right... in alot of ways it is our fault for not seeing the gentlemen and only noticing the jerks.. that is because that even though we girls want to be treated like we feel we should be treated, we also want to have a bit of excitement too. At my old church the pastor there proposed to his now wife by flying her to a resort, and waiting there with a candlelit dinner, and tons of flowers where he popped the question! That is like only something that half of us girls hear about in our dreams! We want to have our cake and eat it too... that is the problem.... we always try to focus on the finished piece instead of looking at what the mixture can turn out into in the end. :-)
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 6:58:51 PM | | Its the "Perfect Badboy" that most of you women look for, aka the "Sheep in Wolf's clothing" lol. Tis true, we are out there...somewhere. Could be right next door....you never know until you try, and if you wait, it may be too late. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/14/2004 9:08:04 PM | WS6TA....I loved that last line!
It's true we are lookin' for the "Perfect Badboy" but they are few and far between. I've had my share of so called "Badboys"...for once I just want a nice down to earth guy. Badboys...no affense....seem to lack a few things...or at least the ones I come across seem to! lol | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/15/2004 5:01:21 AM | Hey, at least you weren't like me, got with a good boy, that after he and I started dating for about mmm... I would give it like 10 months... decided he wanted to give bein a bad boy a try... man what a waste!
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/15/2004 5:05:58 AM | | hi i am like bt0 not really that goodlooking but i do act like a gentleman like i said in my profile my perfect date would be romantic dinner with a film an a romantic walk along the seashore | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/15/2004 10:02:01 AM |
Haha, Hui, That's just wrong!
Hey, not only do I open & hold doors for my lady friends but also my buddies also. It just seems like the courteous thing to do, right? | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/15/2004 4:33:20 PM | Maybe its not wrong for her... maybe those are the only kind of guys that she has had the opportunity to date. Maybe you or one of your friends could take her out and show her what some real men are like.... lol. But don't start out a message by laughing at someone... b/c you may not know their circumstances. She wasn't talking about all of the men.. just the ones that she has had the opportunity to date.... she can only compare all of the guys from her own experiences. Please keep that in mind GlassSoldier.
Sincerely,
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 12:38:23 AM | Chelle, you are right I have dated some guys in the past who behave like that but I think if I read GrassSoldier 's post, he was laughing at my saying "Most never open car doors! You will be glad they don't drive off before you are inside the car" and he was saying that was the wrong thing to do..
@GrassSoldier, you know there are also guys who will not hold an umbrella for you when raining and you get your makeup and dress ruined. You have no choice but to run on high-heels.. It is hilarious but sadly thats the way of life for some here..
Hui Ching
| |
|
| |
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 6:18:18 PM | Ms_twang: I'm glad you liked it :)
I think GS is right there is nothing wrong with opening doors for anyone be it a friend, stranger, male, or female. What's so wrong about having good behavior?
You really want to know the difference between a "Bad Boy type" and a "Gentlemen?" The "Bad Boy" just plays the image, of being tuff and talking tuff. Where as the "Gentlemen" needs no such false crutch to support him. He is tuff because his strenght lays in his self confidence and kind manners. He need not put on public displays to assure his dominance. unlike the "Bad Boy" who constantly must reassert himself to be noticed. This is why you ladies notice the "Bad Boy" they are always running spouting their mouth off. Where's the "Gentlemen" basically go unseen except for those who are truly aware of what a "Real MAN" is...
More importantly think on this: Imagine you were out on a date with a "Gentlemen". You were crossing the street together and out of no where came this speeding car over the hill. You being unaware of the danger about to unfold but your "Gentlemen" date catching a glimpse of the threat would immediately take what ever action was necessary to spare you any harm. Now let's look at the "Bad Boy" with the same sceniro what do you think your dates reaction would be? Since "Bad Boy's" by their on natural behavior tend to be self-serving. He would be the first to jump clear of the car... Where do you think you would be left standing? He would just go find a new girl the next day and grieve no more.
This is why "Gentlemen" open doors, hold purses, go out at night to see what that noise was that you heard and willing to sacrifice their own lives to save your own. A "Bad Boy" just doesn't have the courage, moral strenght, commitment, undying devotion, or the grace to measure up... Being a "Gentlemen" isn't a easy task with a world bent on promoting the wicked. Being a "Gentlemen" isn't a weakness but a great strength to be admired and acheived. Being a "Bad Boy" requires no true talent but being a "Gentlemen" takes herculian power and it shows. You only need to open you eyes to see it...
So, remeber the next time your out at some place be it a nightclub or whatever? When you see that cute quite guy setting over there in the corner all alone... Go up and say "Hi." You just might discover what I'm talking about... | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 6:55:10 PM | Frankly I feel that some guys really want to do this early on in a relationship, but we are concerned that it will make us appear too submissive. In my early experiences of opening doors and otherwise playing the role of a 1950's "Leave it to Bever" type gentleman on dates I found that the girl quickly expected me to do more and more little things for her everyday, while not offering to do anything more for me.
I call it: "The Male's Fear of Feeding Grapes Syndrome". | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 8:17:51 PM | | Well if you have got good qualities dont be afraid to flaunt it. Women will appreciate it very much.. Its the hypocrite that you dont like - you will know one when you come across because that is when he will be inconsistent in his action.. A real gentleman will be very spontaneous and consistent in his mannerism.. Not in our culture though, it has been so set that if a man is opening door, or sending flowers to his partner, every other guy will look at him in awe saying he is henpeck or weak etc... | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 9:01:52 PM | OK....question!
I do believe there are gentlemen out there...I think this thread prooves it to me. It seems though 9 times out of 10 they are always the shy guys though...am I right? If so...then I'm out of luck on ever finding one...I'm one of the most shy females there are out there. I never know how to go up to someone and start a conversation and I get nervous being in the lime light. So you gentlemen out there...any advice? | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 9:49:22 PM | I dont think most guys are worried about how the image of sending flowers to a lady looks like to other MEN. I think the real issue is what kind of message it can send to the gal. Now I have certainly spent my share of $$ on flowers for women in my past..I have even taped large assortments to the front door of an exgirlfriend's apartment.. but, guess what? In the end it never seemed to matter. It's almost like it gets to a point that such things are not appreciated, and personally I feel that when a relationship is started out this way that it can mislead a girl somewhat.
It seems to me that most relationships that start out with a guy opening the car door everytime his lady steps out gradualy envolve into a more typical relationship. When I see a man opening a door for a lady he is with I often assume they are a new couple. I dont often see this happening as often with married couples. So, I feel it's best for men to be more like themselves at first than to change on woman later on. I would think girls would respect this too.
| |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 11:03:53 PM | | I'm a gentleman around any girl im with...whether its 4 or 5 girls, ill still be completly respectful...but what i think happened was that....males got to where they think it look funny to do stuff with a girl...they got all thuggish...and they take their girls around their homeboys and they think that their homeboys would make fun of them if they were to do something like that...that would be my closest guess to that tho...sorry if it dont help much | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/16/2004 11:37:43 PM | Yes I agree with most of what you guys are saying.. some very valid points too.. Most women will appreciate little things like that.. thats a bonus.. Generally its good to be yourself so that you don't have to pretend to be what you are not and utilmately you may find it a chore to continue doing so..
I am not one who will take things for granted. For instance, when my partner sent me flowers for my birthday, it puts a smile to my face and I still thank him from the bottom of my heart because I appreciate it very much. I do things like pampering him too in reciprocation.. Its got to be two way, you give and take..
| |
|
| |
Home
login 
