| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/17/2004 2:19:10 PM | LOL... well see that is just my luck there! I would probably find a guy that started out with a bit of chivalry, and sweetness, and then once things got serious it would abruptly end. I am sorry that some of you feel as though a girl stops appreciating the small stuff... I have to say from my own personal eperience that it was the small things about my ex that I missed the most. It is the small niches in a relationship that makes it worth while and keeps the romance rolling!
Chelle | |
|
| |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/17/2004 4:35:40 PM | Oh Chelle, I agree that the small things that partners do often make or break a relationship. I think we have to always remind the other that we care about them. Nobody wants a relationship in which they act like strangers toward each other. I know I have often been the one that said the "i love u"'s the most often and always let my gal know I appreciated her via flowers and stuff.
All I was trying to do was show a reason why some guys are less of gentlemen on dates these days. You know, people's behavor is often based on their past experiences... and some of us guys have had the misfortune of girls in our lifes that did not always return the gratitude. It is very refreashing to read of you young ladys that encourage the men in their lifes to play the role of gentlemen. It shows me that perhaps I can be myself on my next date and not worry that I'm establishing the wrong image of who I am early on. But, somehow the fear of a gal geting the idea she could walk over me later on into the relationship remains in the back of my head. I guess we all live & learn from the advise of others. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/17/2004 9:40:57 PM | Jammer, I agree with you..
Be yourself and if your dates like you, she will like you for what you are and who you are.. You want to impress at first sight yes but you don't need to please her all the way, to the extent of her taking advantage.. In a good relationship, its two way and will not be a big effort to say "I love you".. it is so natural and spontaneous.. I am blessed with a partner who is a gentleman and who will never get tired of saying "I love you" and I of course reciprocated in any manner that I can to make this relationship work..
| |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/18/2004 1:09:39 PM | Hey jammer... I just wanted to say that it is cool to be a gentleman and act yourself on your first dates. I am sorry about all of the bad experiences that you've had... I've had some myself! :-) But you live and learn by those experiences. Even though I really don't like dating, it gives you the opportunity to be picky. If you are dating a girl, and you feel like you're being taken advantage of... and she isn't reciprocating as well as you think she should... then maybe you should think about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with her. If you don't like what she is doing in the beginning... you won't be happy in marriage. LOL... so just keep on dating and being yourself. If you feel like you are being taken advantage of or something, open up to the girl, give her a chance to redeem herself. If it doesn't get better and stay that way... then end it if you aren't happy.
Sincerely,
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/18/2004 4:36:21 PM | That sounds like good advise Chelle! I wish I was as muture as you when I was 22, it might of changed my life! Why is it so many of you young ladys understand things at such a young age than some of us men dont untill twice your age? lol
As far as me having bad some bad experiences... yes I have had a few. However my last one wasnt too bad. I just seen some pretty negative stuff happening that I knew I could not change and knew it was fruitless to pursue it any further. People my age have to consider things like their partner's kids, and although I love kids I found myself unable to live with a very emotional and violent 18 year old son. It's sad that sometimes so many things can actually go right in a relationship, only to have an issue sneak up behind your back thats of such a serious nature it forces a break up... (but their were a couple other issues too)
I always keep my head up and stay positive. I'm not depressed nor desperate. Chating on these forums is of great comfort for me. It helps me to keep my mind clear. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/18/2004 10:25:48 PM | Thank you, I consider that a very high compliment. While I try to be mature... I can be immature where some things are considered... I need to work on that. I am sorry to hear about your last relationship... I also find solace in these forums myself. I like getting on here and listening to the advice from others... and hearing their view points. I even like it when others don't share my viewpoints. It gives me more to say to prove my point.. lol. My only advice on that is stick with it.... life goes on and things don't happen for a reason... sometimes I need reminding of that myself! :-)
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 9/20/2004 1:26:26 PM | | Women do appreciate men who are gentlemen. I feel as if men do not appreciate women who are ladies, or they do not like nice women. I do not date the bad boys, and sometimes I think that men think that women do not like nice men, so they act differently to try to be cool or whatever. But then I am not patient with some things, such as when a man says he will call after a date. Men can just say a simple nice to meet you. That sounds much better than the I will call when the woman knows good and well that he will not. Maybe they think women are stupid and do not get that they are not going to call, or maybe it is just a habit. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/9/2004 6:22:36 PM | LOL... I have had that same line given to me many times too! But if that happens, oh well... just think about it... you two didn't click in some way and he is doing you a favor by not even bothering. That is the way I look at it... better for it to not work after the first date... than to get somewhere down the road and then finding out. Not only that... but it is his loss.. he is missing out on getting to know a really great girl, and that is a gain for someone else. :-) Keep up the good work... dating can be a big learning experience.
Sincerely,
Michelle | |
|
Roaul
|
Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 60 | |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/9/2004 6:48:19 PM | | miss michele and all the other ladies who have posted there are gentlemen on this site i could name a few but if i did there would be some strange thoughts thought about me.you will know who they are by their postings. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/9/2004 6:56:46 PM | | I am so in on this forum. :P. I find lots of girls find their "gentleman" the thing is once things start really gettin serious the "gentleman" image vanishs and the guy treats the girl like crap BUT the girl will still go out with him. I'm not saying EVERYONE will stay but from what i've seen the girls still want to stay with the @$$(I get stuck as a middle-man all the time that how i see). Even at the clubs on the street etc, lots of guyz don't show their gurls any respect but the gurl will stay. So really are u looking for a gentleman or a badboy with a gentlemans front? | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/9/2004 7:00:08 PM | | Gezz we need an edit button. Let me rephrase that question. Are you looking for a @$$ with a gentlemans front? A badboy can still be a gentleman btw, sounds like everyones titleing him someone who doesn't treat his girl good.No some do theres 3 sections @$$'s, gentleman(boring), and bad boys. But this is my opinion. | |
|
delmar
|
Joined: 6/18/2004
Msg: 63 | |
| |
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/12/2004 1:55:08 PM | I know that there are gentlemen out there... lol... but some of them are sometimes hard to come by is all we are saying. :-) Heck for that matter women aren't perfect either... there are some doozies out there... and I maybe one myself. :-) You are right about the gentlmen fronts too. :-) I just wish all of the single folk luck on their aspirations for the perfect gentlemen and ladies out there! Keep up the good work. :-)
Chelle | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/12/2004 8:52:43 PM | | Gentlemen are still here! Most of the people I meet are just idiots who look after themselves & that\s ok to them. If I take a lady out for an evening, i really look after them & make sure they are ok all the time. A lady should be made to feel they are special all day, every day! I try to be a gentlemen to all women always, but sometimes women cannot be called women! If someone has respect for themselves & honestly deserves respects then they should be treated better than royalty. | |
|
| |
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/14/2004 8:09:16 AM | Yes, we still exist. The problem is that most of us ain't gonna be winning Mr. Universe, so we get tossed to the curb. I for one am sick of being the wailing wall--she dates a loser who breaks her heart, she spends hours crying to me about it, then finds another loser, and the cycle continues.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a good-looking guy. However, I would like to believe that character counts for something. Granted, that may be a naive hope, but it keeps me going.
Gentlemen are hard to find because society has decided that we should not exist. We're told that a real man is all about sex and wants that dirty slut that he can brag to his buddies about. I for one would like to find a down-home sweetheart whose cooking is something to brag about  . Course, she'd probably dump me for an ex-con with a 2 mile long rap-sheet, but what's the surprise in that.
Here's my question: Do classy ladies still exist? Can a guy still find someone who just wants to curl up on the couch and watch an old black and white movie (no, I'm not gay; I'm a hopless romantic)? Is it possible that nice guys won't finish last? Do guys like me still have a chance at finding that special someone? Lately, it seems like all can be answered with a no. If I'm wrong, let me know. | |
|
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/14/2004 10:30:43 AM | | HELLO I GUESS ITS MY TURN TO GIVE A RESPONSE I DONT KNOW IF YOULL LIKE THIS OR NOT BUT HERE GO,S ITS NOT GUYS IN GENERAL WHO HAVE THAT PROBLEM ITS BOTH SEXES NO OFFENSE BUT I HAVE A PAIN IN THE BUT TIME MEETING WOMEN BECAUSE I SEE THAT CELL PHONE GO TO A GIRLS EAR MORE THAN 3 TIMES AND THAT KILLS THE DATE FOR ME AND TODAYS GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT THEY HAVE THERE HEADS UP THERE BUTTS AND THEY ARE DIRESPECTFUL IF A WOMEN IS UNDER 25 TODAY THEY ARE SILLY DITSY AND THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT MEN ARE THE SAME FIND A GUY AROUND 26 TO 35 AND YOU WONT GO WRONG I THINK LATER NICK | |
|
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/14/2004 3:06:09 PM | Some women have ripped on me for being a gentlemen. I remember on one occasion I opened my truck door for a woman and she said something to the effect of "ooh I'm riding with Wally Cleaver" ...Leave it to Beaver reference for anyone who doesn't know that. I think once or twice I've also got the "Hey 1957 called, they want their guy back" after opening my truck door for a girl.
I also notice another "old school" dating ritual that has seemed to have died off. I remember seeing something about if a girl was interested in a guy, after the guy lets her in his vehicle, he walks over to his door and before he gets in, she'll reach over and unlock the door for him. Never, once has a girl ever done that for me, even the few that were genuinely interested in me. My car and truck have manual locks...maybe a lot of the girls these days aren't used to being without power locks, I dont know?
I also used to buy flowers for every first date I went on, but I eventually stopped with that because I figured if she doesn't like me in the first place, flowers aren't going to help. I'm still a gentleman and still open my car door for a girl, offer my jacket if she's cold, etc...but it's a little difficult when my gestures of kindness are un-noticed, unappreciated or downright ridiculed. If any young ladies would like to treated well, get in touch with me. | |
|
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/14/2004 3:32:08 PM | Question for all the ladies .when the man opens your car door and let you in when he walks around to his side of the car does he still have to use the same key to unlock his door to get in the car ?
a lot of ladies today are looking for the roughneck to have a good time with then when they ready to settle down they want a gentle man one woman got out of my car slammed the door and in a pissed off voice screamed at me WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO F***ING NICE then stomped away | |
|
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/14/2004 4:31:16 PM | What ever happened? Today seems to me most nice guys just get sh*t on. But hey if everyone that said they were nice really was there wouldn't be any bad people. I eliminate the hole car door thing by not having them on my jeep. But as for other things I always walk with a girl not on the street side of the road, always open any door for a girl, or my mom, always wiat for a women to be seated before I am, and wait to eat after they take there ifrst bite. When I was Child my father did all thease things for my mom and now I just do them from habbit it's not like I think d*mn better open the door or sit down after my date. Those are things that just happen. Have to agree with other guys when they say some women just freek cuase its true. But when I see a women trying to open the door for me on a date and I see that thats what she feels comfortable with I won't stop her or say hey thats my job. Next time I might try to put myself in a postion to get there first but if it dosnt happen natrualy then just let it go or its weird. Hope that helped.
 | |
|
| |
geez70
|
Joined: 8/17/2004
Msg: 73 | |
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/16/2004 3:13:57 PM | | I did all that for my ex.... The flowers, opening the door, starting her car in the morning so she didnt have to get in a cold car on her way to work, the gentleman things that any normal guy would do for someone he cares about. Although I did get the thank you after.... she said I was oogling her...... maybe I was but that is just me and how I believe a woman should be treated. With love and respect. If that is oogling wellthen so be it, just my beliefs. I am not saying that a woman can't be independant, just being nice. | |
|
| Re: what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/16/2004 3:57:34 PM | I didn't feel like going through all of the messages.. But there was a quote in a book I like about this phenomenom called "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk. Not exactly fuzzy soft romantic reading, but his writing as it is there is a certain layer of truth.. And I've had my own personal experiences as well to kind of understand it.
I've always tried to hold open doors.. and do all these things expected, not just of dates.. but for any lady whom I see. It's the way I was raised I suppose. But barely an acknowledgment, they do their best to look away.. or even worse, a few nasty looks I've been shot for doing so.
It really just seems not worth it to do so. Women have wanted to strive an equilibrium of equality.. and then bemoan the fact of the gentlemen are all gone. I am not sayong one has directly to do with the other. But alot of the ideals are doing things that I think some women feel more resentful towards a male doing feeling she can't do it herself.. I've had the discussion a few times.. and it seems rather a Catch-22.
So.. I am sorry to say.. they are not dying out as much as fading away.. perhaps the days of laying a jacket over a mudhole are gone.. but in the inside, I think there are still plenty of guys out there who still hold to what they can.
Justin
Oklahoma, USA | |
|
| what ever happened to guys being gentlemen?
Posted: 11/16/2004 3:59:19 PM | I agree that gentlemen are pretty much a dying breed, which is a shame. Personally, I always open doors for a woman or do all those old-fashioned little coat things and the help-with-the-chair deal, and I think any woman who doesn't want to be treated like a lady doesn't want to be treated by me. =) But honestly, women bear a lot of the blame. I once opened the door for a random girl who was walking in to a building right behind me and I got a cold glare. Her friend, another girl, said "She can open her own doors." Kind of tends to discourage a guy when the woman view his politeness as sexism!
So many women cross the line and think they have to eliminate any feminine tendencies. For them, I say, Go ahead. And, take our jobs, too. Live the male yuppie life. All yours. =) | |
|
Home
login 
