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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:30:31 PM | Well, I would tell him.
This will stop him from talking to her ever again since he got off lucky from a heartless golddigger. That is really sad! He didn't get the right present for her so she dumps him. That is cold!
Even if she doesn't tell him, that guy got off lucky.
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:10:52 PM | I feel that there is only an initial period within a relationship when it is sufficient to just say, "sorry, i don't think we are compatible after all" and leave it at that. I don't think it is easy to say how long that period should be, as some relationships become more serious quicker than others. I feel it depends more on the depth of the relationship, and what the couple have been through together that determines how much of an explanation is given. If, as seems to be the case here, she feels that other than the gifts being unequal in value, he is a nice guy, then clearly she is shallow and foolish.
It may, ofcourse be the case that whilst he is earning more, that his pre-existing outgoings are greater than hers.
I would want to know why, and I agree that it would help him get over it faster. If no reason is given when a healthy relationship is brought to such an abrupt end then it demonstrates the ignorance, and inconsideration, of the person finishing the relationship. In addition it normally means that something is being hidden because it is embarrassing. As is the case.
IT HAPPENED TO ME. A couple of years ago, a woman who I loved so much that I worshipped the ground that she walked on finished with me after we were together for nearly 2 years. She described me as a good man, but no reason was given for us breaking up. I to spent a year or so trying just to persuade her to meet me for a meal and a chat. She wouldn't, or couldn't, allow a face to face chat to happen. It hurt like hell, I was treated like a leper. I had always been faithfull, and loving. In my case, after a while, I was the one who had started treating her to holidays, and expensive presents. Now I have had to come to terms with the fact that I had met an actress, and a player. Sad to say that I think this is the only way that this guy will get over it to. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:35:23 PM | | OP, I would want to hear the truth. It would change how I thought about my ex, but I would need to hear it to make sense of it all. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:44:31 PM | If that was the real "reason"....in 4 months...well don't know about them, but I know how I value someone involved in my life and know how I want to be valued. And it wouldn't be about dollars or gifts...this wouldn't have happened. Never has.
My value as a person or someone's value in my life never has a $ dollar value. Apparently something that wasn't ever established to begin with. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:21:33 PM | Well, for what it's worth, AOL's translator says:
God, you take away my breath with your extreme intelligence and insight! I would do everything to believe your browned male body, to operate itself against mine. What for disgrace that you love men and still hide him from the world! What for disgrace! I love you!
But since it's AOL, it's probably not even close.
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:47:43 PM | According to one of the other threads the OP started about this:
His gift to her was much less extravagant and less thoughtful. He bought her a CD and some gardening tools.
OP, does your friend enjoy gardening, or has she mentioned this is something she'd like to get into? And was the CD by an artist she likes? If so, I fail to see how his gift could be considered "less thoughtful."
Someone needs to teach your friend that thoughtful and extravagant are NOT synonymous. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:52:39 PM |
I think she felt he was more into her and when he showed up with a $40 gift as opposed to her $400 gift, it burst her reality bubble and she dumped him.
Ohh, she should definitely tell him. That way he will get closure. He will also come to realize how lucky he is to get away from a shalow person who measures the level of one's devotion/emotion by the amount of money he is spending on her.
This is precisely what allows SOME men to make generalizations (as stupid as all the generalizations are) about women being interested only in money.... gold-diggers they say, and me thinks your friend can rationalize it all she wants but she seems to be one of them.
At least with working girls men know what the price is ahead of time.
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:14:39 PM | I agree with RedCassandra ^^^.
Going by the information in your other thread, I think the reason is this: she was mainly attracted to him because of his money and now that she's realised he isn't all about spending money on her, she's lost interest. She could explain that or be more vague, saying that she's realised that she's not mature enough to appreciate an adult relationship with a decent man just yet. He deserves honesty so that he knows the character of the person he has "lost" so it doesn't feel like such a loss. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:38:06 PM | | Dont this ring of goldigger a gift is a gift its not about how much you spent or they spent when it comes down to that it rings of a goldigger. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 12/30/2007 12:43:28 AM | Are you kidding me? Who cares if he makes 10x more than she does? Yes, it is relevant here because they are on different pay scales, shoot, different pay charts all together.
I don't know what the gift was or *how* unthoughtful it was but it really sounds like she was upset at $40 when she spent $400 and the gift was looked at less than thoughtful.
But he called.... and called and called. I think he was into her for who she was and not what she could give him. Yes, there is a chance that he is a tightwad but what do his bills look like? How much does he really have left over?
If the only reason she broke it off was because of a yucky gift, she didn't really like him to begin with and he should move on.
In short, I think it would take a big person to tell this guy why she broke it off. She might find her house full of stuff from him. Or he might be smart and pass up a gold digger.
best of luck | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:40:34 PM |
I have to ask why would this woman spend so much, in such a little time knowing each other, then blame the guy because he handled his gift appropriately?
Exactly. I bet she doesn't want to tell him because then he'd know how concerned she was about his money and that would make her look bad. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:51:08 AM | | So now we have $ amounts on feelings? The more you care/love/feel the more you spend? Crazy! Yes, shallow. Wow! Never thought of it like this. So if 'your friend' is with someone, say, 10 years, what would she expect? 400 x 10? Maybe you should tell him he is better off. ; p | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:00:09 AM | | TELL HIM THE TRUTH...AND?? I want to HEAR what he GAVE HER??? I'm curious....there are lots of specifics missing...and none of us were there. $400 IS alot to spend, $40 being more appropriate, but it appears shes offended by the GIFT itself too! | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:00:13 AM | Ahhh, she just felt stupid for spending so much and realizing that to him she didn't merit anything special.........I wonder if she gave her best buddy (who has been with her through thick and thin, all these years) a gift anywhere near the same value..........
Same story again.......What we women wouldn't do for a Richard.......hehehehe
PS..whenever I see a posting from gmm I feel like just getting physically sick at his hatred of women. Can't POF moderators do something about him and scumbag??????or at best they should allow him on forums exclusively for gays...I am sure he will be a much nicer person there....... | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:04:08 AM | I'm afraid that I'm all too familiar with relationships that are
devoid of feeling and consideration for the other, but rather
just a getting together for sex, company and other practical
considerations.
But, then what I can't understand, is the occassional interjection
of female emotion, as if the relationship is more then it is!
Am I missing something? Is this the NEW way?
So, to me, it's clear. They broke up, because they never had
anything to start with! | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:16:30 AM | What a crock of S**T. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of the men here on behalf of those of my gender who are selfish, stupid idiots. She broke up with him over a GIFT? Are you SERIOUS?? How much you care about a person has NOTHING to do with how much money you spend on a gift. He probably wasn't expecting her to spend that much on him.
A while back I dated a guy who made way more money than I did. When Christmas time rolled around and we exchanged gifts, I spent more money on his stuff than he did on mine. And did I care? NO! I was flattered that he thought enough of me to even get me something, and the thing he got me was something that I really liked. In truth, I wasn't expecting anything from him at all, and was surprised when he handed me a gift bag.
I find it shameful and embarrassing that this girl's boyfriend took the time to pick something out for her, and her reaction was to throw a hissy fit and say how "unthoughful" his gift was.
NEWSFLASH: Guys aren't wired like we are, ladies--they don't consider gift pricing= how much you love someone. Just because he makes more money than she does should NOT mean that he is obligated to get her a more expensive gift.
The fact that he even got her anything at all shows that he cares.
MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. They don't know what is important to us ladies unless we TELL THEM. If she was so upset over this, she should have said something instead of dumping him like that. What a cold-blooded thing to do. If I were him, I'd be happy and relieved to be rid of such a selfish b***h. Now maybe he'll have the chance to find a woman who really appreciates him for who he is, and not what he can buy her. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:27:04 AM |
You havn't dated many women have you?
Not since the last one broke my heart, no.
Seriously, though, I think BEING a woman since birth qualifies me to see this situation from a female perspective. I just wanted to let guys out there know that contrary to popular belief, not all of us females are immature, materialistic, irrational beings. | |
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| He wants to know why they broke up!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:53:19 AM | | Perhaps you think the more the gift costs the more one cares...if he took the time to buy you a thoughtful gift, regardless of the cost, you should have accepted it and treasured it....placing cost on the value of the gift is unimportant if it was given from the heart... | |
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