| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/11/2008 7:24:41 PM | You are looking at this from a male point of view..it is a mistake for many women to sleep with men who have no intention of having an emotional connection with them..because, then, though it may not be what some people think is the "right" feeling...they feel cheated, used, and hurt. So, the best way to avoid those feelings, is to not do it in the first place...for, myself, sex complicates things.
I simply do not understand all this baggage on sex. He gave you his time and friendship for what was it? Two years? And you are saying you felt cheated and used? If you had orgasms you were using him just as much as he was using you. It is not his fault that you were obsessed with taking the relationship where he did not want to go. You were the one who kept on being "used" and "cheated" for all that time when you could plainly see it was not going where you wanted. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:23:26 PM | Depends who she is and what circumstaces I met her. A one night stand is enjoyed but doesn't call for an emotional involvement.
Guess people have to be sure what it is to themselves, and the other person, before they bump uglies.......LOL
Sex has nothing to do with love and many people have had F**k buddies in their life that never did lead to any committment, but love does deepen along with everything including a good sex life when it is what both people want. It's never safe to assume someone loves you just because they have sex with you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:25:49 PM |
I simply do not understand all this baggage on sex. He gave you his time and friendship for what was it? Two years? And you are saying you felt cheated and used? If you had orgasms you were using him just as much as he was using you. It is not his fault that you were obsessed with taking the relationship where he did not want to go. You were the one who kept on being "used" and "cheated" for all that time when you could plainly see it was not going where you wanted.
"I" didn't do anything,( I'm not the OP) I was explaining how some women think, and that they should be aware of this, and act accordingly, because men ( as you have obviously pointed out) don't feel the same way? Many women become attached once it enters the sexual realm, and they ASSUME men will feel the same way? Many women get emotional about it...they aren't using him, they aren't in it for the sex alone..the sex is part of their feelings for the guy? They feel cheated and used because they thought he would process the same as her, they don't most of the time.
And no, they can't always PLAINLY see..that's why there are misunderstandings...face it, custis..most women just don't think like men..some guys don't get it..the sexual pleasure is minor to the love thing? Got it? She may have enjoyed the sex...but, what she was hoping for was more? Men can settle for just sex..so they think all women can too..all can't..so, my point being, those that can't have to start thinking with their head, and not their heart..because otherwise many men will continue to think it's ok to just be ...
FWB's..when many women don't want that at all..no matter how good the sex is? It's just the way it is....doesn't make anyone "good" or "bad"..just a different way of looking at it....if he KNEW how she felt...if he really cared about her as a friend/person he shouldn't have allowed it to continue either...though she could/should have got out of it herself..if he was a "good" guy..he could have stopped it himself? But, it was a perfect arrangement for him? Why should he?
You call it baggage...myself, and many other women call it "there is more to life than just sex"..and we don't like being just another conduit...we are looking for love and romance...not, convenience, or sexual gratification...and we are entitled to feel that way about it too without being labeled with negative interpretations... | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:50:55 PM | "I" didn't do anything,( I'm not the OP"
You are right and I apologize. I was three quarters asleep when I posted that. However, we still fundamentally disagree. The OP could have stopped seeing the guy anytime she wanted and she could see that it was not going where she wanted. I am not labeling any women who want love and romance with negative interpretations. Just saying that you can't blame the guys for it, at least not unless they lie to lead you on. The fact of the matter is that these days more and more men and women are choosing not to marry. I think that trend is going to continue, at least until people start shooting all the lawyers.
On a related note, I am still puzzled by the number of women who say they will not have casual sex because it is cheap and meaningless, but own a drawer full of vibrators. That is a major contradiction. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:59:08 PM |
On a related note, I am still puzzled by the number of women who say they will not have casual sex because it is cheap and meaningless, but own a drawer full of vibrators. That is a major contradiction.
HAHA- Well...cheap and meaningless with yourself and a machine..is much different than being treated that way by another human being? I can be meaningless with appliances... in my interactions with men ( sexual or otherwise)..I prefer to have meaning? Does that clear it up? I don't want to use a person or be used by one as if we were inanimate appliances? That's another mars/venus thing, I think. lol.. (and I don't own a drawer full of vibrators..just to clear that up...rofl...) ( OH, and since to love and romance have to include marriage?) | |
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GEQT
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Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 257 | |
| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:00:15 PM | Several men I know have absolutely no problem having sex with women they don't even particularly care for.
I think some guys are pretty emotionless about sex. It's just something that feels good and if they like the woman... great, if not... next.
Before you blast me... I said "some"... not "all". | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:01:01 PM | Kirstie,
I am no doc, but in my opinion some men just feel physical excitement and fulfilment because that's what they wanted. Other men feel love right next to the physical sensations because this is what they wanted. I am sure there is no general rule. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:42:44 PM | Kirstie_uk
Yes they do. I do. Not to say that I've not had meaningless sex, but there is a certain woman...the mother of my children.
She truthfully is not a playboy model, and I've dated and slept with women since being with her who were far more physically appealling, if I may dare use the phrase without sounding like a pig, but the best sex was with her, and it was on an emotional level as well. Obviously everyone has to move on, and I don't pine over her...but I look for a woman who would give me that same feeling. I never looked at sex as a means of my personal gratification...2 people are involved. It's about giving more than taking. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:46:11 PM | | To add to that, some women play the game and then cry afterwards that the man let them down, because he took off. Don't tread where you don't want to go. Make sure that your motives are pretty pure, and don't fall for a guy who you knew all along would leave in the morning. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/13/2008 12:55:49 PM | ukno, not to sound insensitive, but if women could actually learn to separate love from sex alot less people would end up getting hurt in these things.i had a girl, we would have sex whenever she came over, even sometimes go places, chill at home, talk on phone etc. but i constantly stress to her were not dating and im not looking for a relationship . so in doing all these activities, i dont think its cause im afraid to say we're dating, it just means i dont want a relationship, shes a good friend, and i like to have her in my company, why is that so wrong?? and even the day we first met i told her i wasnt interested in a relationship. this one time, we were seriously talking and she asked me why i didnt want a relationship, thas when i told her i wasnt interested in one with her. i guess she thought she would eventually have one with me. but we still chill and all that still even after i told her this. maybe she still believes she can change my mind.
on that note, ive had sex with girls i was def. interested in and liked alot, i do feel some emotion, but half the time, im f*kkin tryna consentrate on getting them off, if i actually thought about what i was feeling it probly wouldnt last as long, so look at it that way. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 262 | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:25:03 PM | | I feel where your come'n from Height... Ofcourse you can never use the word "ALL" but this is defenatly a huge difference between male and female (AS A WHOLE ) yes there are exceptions !!! But a guy can have sex with a woman and have absolutly NO feelings about it.. Where as in most cases the woman needs some type of emotional connectoin.. Which COULD be not saying it is... Coud be a big reason why if a man cheats on a woman or sleeps around its pretty much swept under a rug.. Where as if a woman does it.. She's a .... Clinton get's his Dyck sucked we laugh we joke about it he's the cool dude.. If his wife was fuk'n a a guy in the secret service.. I don't think it would have been viewed the same way.. Now that I think about it... There's a movie with Michael Douglas Where he's a member of the secret service and fuk'n the First Lady.. Yeah that didn't go over very well LOL | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:21:11 PM | Kristie,
Don't know who he is but by what you said I expect that he has just been using u as a convenience. Obvoiusly he knows you loved him and has simply been exploiting you, I'm glad u never got any diseases from him because he's probably using other women to.
It hasn't anything to do with when you gave it up, but more about his inability to be a committed lover in your life.
Have to admit that sex with a one night stand I like doesn't engender a lot of feeling outside of sexual pleasure and once it's over I occassionally think about her but any feelings are very superficial.
Sex with a woman I love includes a lot of good feelings both emotionally and physically.
That's why it's so much more satisfying than transitorial physical enjoyments.  | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:04:40 PM | To me sex just complicates things..if we were just friends hanging out, without the sex, then, ok. I wouldn't want to sleep with someone who has no intentions on starting a serious relationship with me.Unless sex is the only thing i want then yeah i wouldn't have no problem with it .I just can't see myself being used and if i feel like a person is just useing me to sleep with me then that person just just gets cut off completely. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:30:00 PM | Everyone feel emotions. Some men do feel emotions as much as women. Also, falling in love is for those people who are mature, by mature is that they won't look to harm you in any way emotionally and look for the best for you. Being mature has nothing to do with age or IQ. I believe for someone to fall in love just with the sex is not enough. There are other factors that come with it. Be careful to call a personal obsession "love". It's a very thin line.
I'm sure you can meet too a man who will treat you well. And as of that friend of yours...Please wake up. He did not just lie to you from the beginning after the sex ( I want only friend with benefits) but has been using you for two long years.
My best wishes | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:38:43 AM | ok let me tell you op............it is harder for a man to get emotional than a women..especially if the relationship didnt start off that way...its going to be hard to turn it that way...
If you was just sleeping buddie even if he wants to get emotional he'll think of you that way cause thats how it started. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:35:03 PM | | I can only speak from my on experiences. When I have had sex with no emotional attachment, it was good, but when there was an emotional attachment it was fanastic. I look for the emotional attachment now before I look for sex, it is that much more satisfying for me. When the lady also had an emotional attachment to me the sex was out of this world. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:53:08 PM | | yeah we men feel and we're not robots. I don't have sex with a female that I do not have a emotional bond with (intimacy), I've mentioned this a lot because I would like to feel intimacy without sex (cuddling, holding hands, spending a long time being with a lady that care about.) and to see if she has the same feelings back for me to create an emotional bond to where not only would I respect her feelings more, she can also respect mine, we both can make our bond stronger for each other and be able to feel out each other physically and emotionally. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:49:56 PM | Yes op
our kind... live..breathe... and we feel.
Men generally find it easier to separate the act of sex with the emotion of love.
Sounds to me as if he is taking advantage of your emotions without making a firm relationship commitment, and, if I was in your position I would be wary.
However, sometimes they find it hard to admit if they are in love or not... or utter those three words...to those special in their life. You could always take a deep breath and ask exactly where you stand and how he feels about each aspect of your friendship (relationship) | |
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