| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:56:35 PM | | You have become an "item of convenience". You have made yourself cheap, and now he considers that he has "settled" for someone who is inferior. He does not think very highly of you. He does not respect you, and doesn't care to marry you, because this way, it is easier to break up with you, without the expense of a divorce. Unfortunately, the only way you can gain your self-respect, and get back your dignity is to break up with him.... and read the book Why Men Love ****es. You really need to read this book, in order to get back on the right track to empowerment. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:49:09 PM | I wrote an article about this very thing a while back, called "Sex and Love?"
I just remarked that it is possible to have one without the other, in this case of the OP, you can have emotionless sex with someone. It IS possible.
It appears to be easier for men than women, and that almost goes without say. Of the women I asked, almost all of them said that they have to "feel" at least something for him to sleep with a guy, where they guys said the opposite. If they are attracted either physically or what have you, then they were game.
"Friends with benefits" can go a long way. There's no hard and fast rule that requires one or more parties to be romantically linked or feel anything. Despite that, more women seem inclined to develop attachments to these "friends" and in the end it complicates things.
This is not to say that all men feel nothing. That sex is just purely physical. More to say that there are allowances for how deep someone can show these emotions (or lack thereof). If you're one that can't seperate love from sex, then a "friend with benefits" is not for you.
Sex, at least to me, has always been about passion and the expression of just that. If I want to sleep with you, this doesn't mean I'm in love with you per se, it just means that you appeal to me in some way. If we are in love with each other, it's little more than the icing on an already awesome cake. Personally, I don't see the connection between love and sex. They are mutually exclusive.
I've had my share of "friends with benefits" in the past and they all ended badly because she got too attached and this went against everything we had once agreed upon in the beginning. One would have to have a strong resolve to be able to pull it off for an extended period of time...to be able to separate love from sex.
But it's not for everyone. As with most things. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:21:36 PM | I don't believe being able to remain emotionally detached is gender specific.
I think the idea that good sex has to involve emotional attachment is not necessarily true either.
It's the trust that makes emotional attachment between people develop, not sex, but that's just my observation and I know there are those who would strongly disagree.
I guess if my theory is correct then having sex with someone you trust causes emotional attachment to develop but lets face it, these days people don't hardly know each other and they are having sex so how could they know if they really trust each other? Hence the experience of having sex with no emotional attachment is so common.
Just a theory. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:36:57 PM | | Havinf sex with someone who doesn't want you hurts men too - when it happens to them and it does. It's hard on the ego to have someone only want part of you and not all.It's a rejection. Not just something that happens to women. Nowadays men get used too. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:04:54 AM | Excellent excellent post, bigdaddyj. I could not agree with you more!
This particular paragraph :
Sex, at least to me, has always been about passion and the expression of just that. If I want to sleep with you, this doesn't mean I'm in love with you per se, it just means that you appeal to me in some way. If we are in love with each other, it's little more than the icing on an already awesome cake. was just said to me almost exactly the way you said it by someone ive been getting to know (outside of POF).
But,your whole entire post was very well written and i agree 100% with ya. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:44:12 AM | | You've got to be kidding. You have a pic with your boobs on public display & want to know why men only want you for sex??? Men are visual creatures so unfortunately the boob pic is going to only draw the physical attraction(s). Your guy friend is doing what the average guy would do if a woman gave up the goods on the first date. The first thing any man would think is "Easy & who else had it?" No one who gets to go home & meet mom. I'm shocked he stayed around for 2 yrs. No strings attached or not. If you dont have any respect for yourself, dont expect anyone else to either. Good luck! | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:21:29 PM | Well shoot I just got that whole orgasm during sex thing down-now what else am I supposed to be feeling?
Yes, men are capable of having feelings of love during and after sex and they are also capable of not having those feelings. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:17:04 AM | He is def a case of a relationshipafraid man.
He can have a relationship but yet noone can admit it, because then he will put his legs on his back and run away.
I wonder why it seems pretty common, they can have a woman that are like their girlfriend but yet they cant call each other "gf" and "bf" or even better "partner".
I had a "bf" like this a few years ago, I got tired of his relationshipfear and broke up with him, I swear he chased me for about 1 year and begged and begged and said he will acknowledge our relationship. But for me it was enough.
And I will never ever accept from any man that they are afraid of a relationship, if they are they can go find someone that will tolerate their often weird behavior. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:28:03 AM | | You mentioned two things that got my attention. The first one was " after he got what he wanted." This portraits him as the big bad wolf chasing innocent little Red Riding Hood. My question to you is this: did you take the time to ask him what type of relationship he was looking for before the blissful consumation? See, we all have to assume our responsibilities. The second thing that got my attention is your question as to whether men feel anything emotionally when they have sex. The answer is simple, if you have sex with a guy the moment you meet him, you have not given him the time to develop those feelings you seek. Yes, we feel emotions just like you do, but they have to be cultivated. In this particular case your friend does not feel the same emotions you feel, period. He wants you as a friend, not as a girlfriend, and he made it clear. Give him credit for that. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:06:26 AM | | i feel something befor and during.if i didnt feel something befor you dont have to worry about the sex part because it will not happen.you gave it to him to quick and esay.you will problaby do it again.you have your self in a bad spot you love him he wants a booty call.once your nkon as a booty call your done. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:50:49 AM | Love, feeling, and true attraction are not prerequisites for sex. True sex is existent in sexual people without anything or anyone else and has very little limitations and preferences...When it comes to true sexual desires, almost everyone is screwable!!!
When there is no love, one might have preferences to someone because of your boob size, penis size, ass shape... Well, then of course, one might have standards they choose to live by because of ethical, health, and other reasons.
As long as there is no love, there is no true exclusivity, commitment, many preferences or limitations...follow your urges and screw them all if you do not want to catch a disease, hurt others, or be labeled or perceived as real bad and undesirable for serious consideration...
No major difference between males and females exist sexually...just difference among different individuals! | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:08:55 AM | The best sex I ever had was with a woman I had very strong feelings for. I hated that b!tch, and she hated me right back. It created a weird sexual attraction between us. She'd come looking for me when she got horny; but, would barely speak to me when we ran into each other socially. I was absolutely fine with that. It was wild!  | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:13:01 AM |
Not just something that happens to women. Nowadays men get used too.
Being inconsiderate is not restricted to either gender. We all can "use" people and many of us do it every day. I had a relationship that I thought was "going somewhere," but like the OP, my "friend" could never come to calling me "boy friend." She reminded me time and time again that "we are not a couple."
I didn't listen and got hurt. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:34:40 AM | Sex and love are two different things. Even when I have had sex with a man I loved I am not thinking all sorts of emotional lovy dovy things while we are having sex. Honestly not thinking about much of anything other than what is at hand. How did sex get so mixed up with love?
If you are seeing each other everyday and going on holidays together, he might not call you his girlfriend, but you are his girlfriend. If it was just sex, he would just be having sex with you and then take his real girlfriend for holidays. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:11:40 AM | thats a REALLY good question . . .
and a really good point that he can't accept ,
and crown you with a "Girlfriend" title . . .
is he feeling something? yes . . 2 years hanging out
together , there is something about you he
doesn't want to give up (not talking about sex)
but really...after 2 years . .somebody has to get serious
here and define the relationship more formally
(as in BF/GF . . or end it)
that....would be your task..
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:07:54 AM |
I met a guy about 2 years ago on a different dating website... went for a drink... got on great and ended back at his place.
After he got what he wanted he said that he was not looking for a relationship just 'friends with benefits'.
2 years later, we are best friends, see each other every day, go on holiday together, but still cant call me his girlfriend.
Obviously i made the mistake of sleeping with him for two years cause i totally and utterly fell for him bevause im sleeping woth him.
Do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex or is all just physical???
Yes men do feel emotions when they have sex but i believe ther has to be some "spark" there in the first place. Both men and women can have "just sex" and only feel pleasure or satisfied, some see it as just a bit of fun, like having a f**k buddy or similar. In your case you felt the spark, he didnt. Did he see other women whilst he was going on holidays with you? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:01:14 AM | For me, it can't be romantic love without sex. It is sex that fulfills the "pre love" that is based on desire, and allows it to become something deeper and more meaningful.
Frankly, I fail to see the problem. You see each other every day, and go on holidays together, and you're sleeping with each other. What is it that makes that something less than what you consider to be love?
Is it that he doesn't want to live with you, that makes you think it's not love? Some people just don't want 24/7, and for some, pushing it to 24/7 ruins things:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10452643.aspx | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:18:39 AM | Men can and do make love. But theres a chemical in the womans brain that creates a sence of bonding. That chemical is released during sex. Men don't have that chemical.
That being said men often seperate the two.
On the above mentioned man, he's a user and a creep. He is not a true "friend". If he was he would have either cut it off and stopped using you. Or, honestly dated you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:53:47 AM | I really wish all women could walk around with a d ick for a week. Then they'd understand why we do what we do. It's just amazing how clueless so many women are about men when we're so simple.
We want ass all the time. Our testosterone levels and our d icks FORCE us to want it no matter how much we fight it. Intellectually I can tell myself not to, but I cannot fight my body's constant overbearing impulses. It's an endless unrelenting burden where your body makes you crave sex.
There are some women who enjoy sex for the act itself and the pleasure derived solely from it but they're so rare that men created a name for them - nymphomaniacs. Virtually every man is a male version of a nympho. Until you can get around the fact that while you see sex as an expression of bonding, of love, or an indifferent physical act with little or no satisfaction done simply to please your man, men get tremendous pleasure with each and every load of cum that they blow out of their c ocks. It's several seconds of bliss, like a hit of a drug. If women could get off the way men do and feel as men do when getting off, they'd chase tail just like we do. Fact is, women's low testosterone levels and internal genitals precludes most of them from ever contemplating what sex is like for men and the role of sex plays in the lives of men.
Women actually have time to think about the minutia of life because they don't require sex. This is why they can chat about bullshit with their friends all day long about the most senseless dull annoying small talk that make men cringe. They have no focus, no internal drive like men for one thing and one thing only. The cars, the status, the job, the power - all these things men chase after are to get more poon in the end. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:58:00 AM |
On the above mentioned man, he's a user and a creep. He is not a true "friend". If he was he would have either cut it off and stopped using you. Or, honestly dated you.
I don't know how anyone can make that judgment. I suppose that it's too much for the "nice guys" and some women to grasp that, when two people have a long standing sexual relationship, the woman is "getting sex", just as is the man. It's meeting her sexual need as much as his. They are also seeing each other every day, and he is taking her on holidays. It's just that the OP wants more than he's giving her, like calling her a girlfriend.
Very few relationships after 2 years are "all" that each would hope it would be. Compared to many "drama filled" relationships, it seems like it's meeting some or most of the OP's needs, and he's honest and straightforward with her.
Which gets back to, how does someone "judge" him to be a "creep"? | |
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