| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:57:40 PM | | My experience is if they tell you they just are looking for FWB that is all they are looking for... if he can't call you his gf it's because you aren't in his eyes.... there are women who have gotten pregnant in the past hoping that would cement a relationship too... doesn't work.... you can sleep with him but don't think it will make him fall in love with you... and the sad part is with you he may not be relationship material but some other woman could slip into his life and he could become that for her... you need to find someone who looks at you the way you look at him otherwise you will diminish your self esteem... | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:02:49 PM | It depends. If the guy already has feelings for you, then they become intensified when he has sex with you. But if he just sees you as a friend and nothing more, then it's just sex with a friend. No feelings other than friendship.
There are some women who have an FWB and never feel anything for the guy, but in general, when it comes to FWBs, it's the woman who falls for the guy, and not the guy who falls for the girl.
I'd stick to proper dating in future. If a guy says he's not looking for a relationship, you can always say that you'll give it a month or two, as long as he's open to it. But IMHO, if he's not open to a relationship at all, you won't win him around by having sex with him. So make sure he's willing to consider a relationship, and date properly in future. Leave FWBs for those who haven't learned yet.
That's my $0.02 | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:08:46 PM | From the OP:
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
No, men feel nothing when they have sex. It's just a passing good feeling. Men, of course, have no tender or loving feelings whatsoever. Any man who tries to pretend that he is sensitive, joyful, loving, giving, "emotional", sweet, (etc etc etc) is just lying to get into your pants, or just exaggerating to STAY in your pants (or dress). Don't believe men. And really, it shouldn't be too hard ("hard", ha ha) to figure it out: after all, all women should be able to tell, EASILY, that all men are brutish, insensitive, or focused on themselves when engaged in "love" - making.
Hope this helps. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:28:39 PM | I agree with this woman. Pixy seems very nice. She thinks you are hurting a part of yourself by staying with this man in this way. You need to start dating other men. But becareful about going into this FWB speech right away with them. You need to stop sleeping with this man and tell him you want a break from it right now and keep the friendship part. You need to cut yourself off from this a bit... You need another man, point blank. Actually, OP, you do know deep down that many of us men do sometimes connect on a major level with women we make love to, but you don't want to face the fact that you have fallen for him while having sex, and it makes you feel weak in that state, and he doesn't and looks stronger, and you feel bad. Be with a man who will make you feel good when you make love to him. Don't do this to yourself.
It's not so kind to your self-esteem...
Lots of love for the new year... | |
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| yup?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:46:58 PM | Yeah of course we do some of us anyway.Nice guys finish last though and I doubt that if you found that it would still be what youre looking for? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:52:07 PM | | Not all men are emotionless just like most women aren't emotionless. I made the near same mistake and now she just acts like it and nothing ever happened. Bummer too, I really like her but can't figure out why she's acting like this. I would say OP, be more careful in the future and make the next guy wait for IT and make certain he's the right one for you. Unless you want it to happen all over again or are into random sex. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:00:12 PM | We are not all the same.First of all I want that solid realationship before I share that part of me with her.For this man its comes from my heart first. I am told I am not typical. I am 41 have only been with 3 women in my life.They have all been in long term realtionships .
So yes some us feel and will be emotinally involed .I have never had a one night stand or do I want one. I will wait till that special someone comes along.
Best Wishes teewood4u | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:08:26 PM | OP, Please do your best not to judge all men by the one you have been seeing. It's true there are men out there, and women too, who just are there for the sex. Why wouldn't they be if it's given out all the time?
When emotions are involved with sex, you will know!! There is a decidedly different feeling to it all then. Everyting is more intense. It turns from just sex to "love making". If you are having sex with him on a regular basis and he doesn't respond like you think he should, he has no real feelings for you. Believe me there is a difference.
Maybe you need to cut off the "friendship" for your own good. Get back out there and enjoy yourself but don't give it away so soon the next time. What we women have to give a man is priceless and should be given with lots of thought.
Blonde | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:15:49 PM | | I know I do. I've been told not to before. Specifically by my ex. Maby the guy's scared of getting attatched because he's been hurt so many times before. Think about it, wouldn't you be scared if all the men you ever dated said the same things and always ended badly for you? Men are the ones that take the beating when a relationship ends. Be conciderate is the only advice I can give. See past your own emotions. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:22:00 PM | I felt great powerful feelings of love and compassion with a woman I dated for sometime and with others not so much, more of a just enjoying each other type of thing.. But I cared for them for sure..
I think it takes time to develop that deep loving feeling because to love some deep it takes time to get to know then inside and out. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:35:30 PM |
Oh, and that's some really bad advice from rory27. Thanks for making us look bad rory.
I take it that cement-thick irony is incomprehensible to you. Unfortunately, millions of others are similarly afflicted.
Any woman who would even entertain such a thread-starter-question is naive beyond belief. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:45:23 PM | There are definitely men out there who are capable of having sex without developing any feelings of love or attachment (as are some women). I think this is the question you are really interested in: not "do men in general feel anything emotionally when they have sex?" but "is it possible for a man to feel nothing emotionally?" -- because that is what is relevant to your situation.
It's possible that he feels nothing and it's possible that he could continue to feel no feelings of love to you even if you allowed yourself to be used fr his gratification for 10 years.
I don't know why you settled for sex without love but if you want love then I suggest you make room for it in your life by removing this hollow physical interaction from it. There are certainly men out there who are capable of a deep and passionate, profound love and who regard sex as a means to communicate that love rather than as a means to physically gratify themselves. If you are hoping to find someone like this, you need to say "no" to men who are not like that. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:50:10 PM | Even sitting here semi comatose after drinking three vodka and orange I was perfectly able to "get" the irony of rory27's post.
I actually enjoyed that post...a lot, and I thought he made his point quite well. In fact, if one looks closely at what he's written, it is very very clear that those words were written by a very sensual man...one who does in fact "feel"...and... erm...no, I'm not flirtin', I'm just sayin' ...
JMHO | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:58:08 PM | I can't have sex with someone unless I feel something for them. I especially can't enjoy it unless I love them.
I also do feel very strong emotions when I have sex sometimes. Usually I get the emotional rush afterwards... but occasionally during sex.
I don't think it's fair to put things in terms of gender. Everyone is wired differently and has different memories and experiences that make them the person they are.
Personally, I've never understood the FWB mentality or the one night stand mentality. It just doesn't work for me. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:08:40 PM | Well OP, I'm kind of confused here. You have a profile on here looking for 'friends', yet you're in a 2 yr relationship (in your heart, even if its one-sided). What are you looking for and how many men do you need?
Have you both been seeing other people during the last 2 years? If so, its not really a relationship - at all - no matter what the feelings are.
If you've both been exclusive for 2 yrs, why are you on here?
OP, you're young. This is probably your 'first' love and it'll always be special for you. Unfortunately, it sounds like its one sided. If he doesn't have feelings for you, or can't admit to feelings for you after 2 yrs, its time to walk away-no matter how much that will hurt. If he doesn't love you by now, he never will - except as the love of a friend.
Its true-men do feel emotions when they're in love. When a man loves a woman, he will admit it at some point and there are usually ways to tell (unless he's a really skilled player). We all dream of finding the right one and being in love. But it only works if both people are on the same page and have the same feelings. I know it'll hurt but it will only hurt more the longer you stay with him.
You deserve to be happy and to be loved. You're a beautiful young woman with lots to offer the 'right' one. No one should settle for less than what they are looking for-for what makes them happy. The longer someone stays in a one sided relationship, it will affect your self esteem and that will only make it worse.
So pull on those big girl panties and walk away. But don't think for a minute that he won't feel some pain, too-he will - but it won't make him love you . Its much easier to make a clean break-no talking, no visiting, no emails-nothing. And whatever you do, take the time you need to grieve and fully heal before you search for a long term again.
HR | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:49:51 AM | Go for it Rory .... saw right through you.
OP ... do you mean that you've never seen any emotion from a man when you've had sex ? If so, you're giving it away too easily. How can you expect emotion when you "gave him what he wanted" on the first date ? You set the pattern for the relationship right from the start.
I'm not being unsympathetic here ... you're young and have a lot to learn ...move on ... and when you see the emotions in a man's eyes (not to be confused with lust) you'll be on the right track.
Luck be with you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:58:48 AM | lol Good question Kirstie. The short and cryptic answer is... what came first, the chicken or the egg? You seem to be saying that sleeping with someone should emotionally attach you to them. Which sounds weird to me. Men feel emotion when they have sex, such as love and affection, IF they felt that way about you BEFORE the sex. The sex doesnt CAUSE the emotion.
In conclusion, if the guy feels for you (in that way) before sex, it will definitely carry over INTO sex. However... if he doesnt, then its just pleasant sex to him. I thought it was the same with women. Is sex supposed to CAUSE feelings? lol Sounds kinda shallow to me. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:17:21 AM |
first of all most men dont usely shows there emotion, due to certain reson..
1.agreement when they firt met you (JUST a frient ship)
2.they've been cheated befor (now they toughen it out)
3.lack of confidence towards there arelationship
4. there shy to admit
5. or just plain lazy and bad
this is just me am speeking of, but i could getthem all wrong curect me if do.
You're over-complicating things. It tends to be more like this:
1) He's just not that into you.
The reasons you listed are all generally excuses to say the same thing. Much like when a woman says 'I see you more as a friend'.
It is 100% possible for a guy to feel no emotional attachment whatsoever for someone, no matter how long they have been sleeping together for. And yet if the same guy sleeps with a woman he REALLY likes, he'll get attached pretty quickly. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:50:56 AM | re the OPost:
Of course, it is a well kept secret that we men turn into robots when we are having sex ro making love, and robots, like Data, do not feel anything or have any emotions. We are either robots or pigs and thus of course we feel nothing, we just have the primal directive to have sex with women, DUH!!!!
On the other hand, it is also a well kept secret, which has been leaked in recent years, that women have emotions irrespective of sex, so what they market as emotions related to sex or making love are not really caused by them. The only extra emorion they get with sex is possessiveness, DUH (as well)!
Too much emotion related to a woman leads a man to eventual slavery and thus impotence, duh!
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:11:01 AM | Ok people.
Yes I made the mistake of sleeping with him on the first date.... but I had my reasons. I was young and more stupid than I am now.
My first ever bf I was with for 3 years, he was 12 years older than me at the time (i was 16 he was 28). He was an alcholic and in the end he finished with me. So maybe I was on the rebound who knows.
What hurts the most is that in my profile I said I was looking for a long term relationship and had not really had the friends with benefits situation before.
Maybe its me but for someone who doesnt have a lot of confidence when someone pays you an interest (like my friend did on our date) I feel wanted. And I guess I slept with him cuase I liked that feeling of attention and being wanted (even if it was just for sex) BUT someone wanted ME. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:33:27 AM | The basic sex drive is of course different for men - a man when in the mood for sex is not overly fussy as to which woman is available. (Speak for myself?)
We only have to think of prostitution - and have to accept that it is the men by a huge majority who seek them out as oposed to women? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:01:19 AM | Kirstie_uk,
I agree with fouthempire. It was your choice to get involved with this man and definitely your choice to continue seeing this men when he strictly told you AFTER he slept with you he wasn't looking for a committed relationship, but rather a FWB relationship. Eventhough you got burned, you had the choice to move on if you know that you were not seeking the same. Why would anyone endure this type of relationship with anyone in HOPES of something more? He was honest with you, why couldn't you have done the same? It's a shame that alot of women settle and still end up getting hurt. Don't settle. Go after what you really want. If it is really meant to be, it will...why waste 2 years of your life just to find out you're still not the gf, when you already knew that after the first time you had sex with him...because that is basically what he told you. He's not looking for a committed relationship = you're not worthy of being my gf. He's wanting a FWB relationship = you're just worthy of sex....think about it, the guy said this AFTER you slept together.
But to answer your question, yes, men can feel emotions when they have sex if they are with the right woman or if they are just emotionally wired that way. I had an ex once that expressed his love through sex...as yes, it can happen. | |
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